• Member Since 27th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

BronyWriter


I write pony words. Millions of them. Some people actually think they might be worth reading. I am very thankful for that. Also, I have a Patreon now?

E

Sergeant Stronghoof has been given the highest honor that a guard can hope for. Without being promoted to Captain of the Guard, that is. He has been given the assignment to be a bodyguard to Princess Cadence herself; during her wedding no less!

Now, technically he shouldn't listen in on her when she's getting ready for her wedding, but she's rumored to have a lovely singing voice. Once she begins singing, he overhears some interesting things.

Written because while This Day Aria is a spectacular song that I adore, I can't help but feel that her singing so loud would have attracted attention, especially when you consider that Twilight heard what the real Cadence was singing.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 68 )

Oh man, this is going to be glorious.

POST-READING EDIT, GOOOOO!
Okay, seriously, this is what should've happened. I will never understand why Luna didn't show up at all.

A story this good deserves more time spent on it to broaden it out. It's well written, but it seems a little rushed. Even so, I like the concept quite a bit, though if I were to write something like this, I'd give it more depth and detail. :twilightsmile:

When you really get down to it, as awsome as Chrysalis was... she wasn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. Loved this! :pinkiehappy:

You know, I think I saw a two comics on Deviantart that made fun of the same idea once. One played with the idea similar to you, in the other there were two guards, one concerned and one jerk who didn't give a damn. It ended up with the two getting tied together by Changelings and the jerk guard going "not one word."

3024095 You think that a undercover takeover of the capital city would produce a more reasonable reaction from Luna than showing up later for the actual wedding. At least it gave a reason why Celestia didn't just stand by while letting the Mane 6 battle it out.

not as crafty as you thing, Celestia!"

think.

Funny that they are confused by her pauses when she sings.

This was pretty well written. Nice job.

A very good read!

OYG THANK YOU! I mean come on someone should have heard her singing all that.

You should get a proof reader.

3024704 I usually don't for one-shot "sketch" stories. For all of my big stories I have lots of 'em.

Love this so much. Might want to add an AU tag though, seeing as it's definitely not up to snuff with the canon events of A Canterlot Wedding.

He'll get a promotion. :)

Reminds me of a comic where Twilight is trying to figure out why Cadance keeps pausing at random intervals during her song.

Now I just have visions of Cadence pimp-smacking the tar out of Chrysalis. :rainbowlaugh:

3025283 You think after performing several songs herself and dealing with Pinkie Pie for a while she wouldn't question such things.

I always did wonder what would happen if someone would hear a villain's exposition song. And now I know. :ajsmug:

3024095
Because the animators forgot about her, is my guess.

No serial-killers? Disappointing. I expect better from you, BronyWriter. :rainbowlaugh:

3025283
That's the one. I like to believe that this story and this comic are in the same continuity.

And that is why you don't sing your evil plans out loud. Sing them quietly. To yourself.

I likey.

...

Oh, also. MOAR. XD

:moustache:Oh Celestia that was funny! She was even pausing for the real Cadance's verses in the song and the whole exchange between the solders and how the private got bullied into singing! Oh too rich!:raritywink:

I feel pride that I was the 100th like

3024152 she's pretty dumb in the comics, too.

Comment posted by Bubbabob deleted Aug 12th, 2013

But she did give her one hell of an ass-whooping. :pinkiehappy:

3034159
No kidding. I think the comics were kinda self-aware of that too, what with the crusaders pointing out that she keeps monolouging at the worst possible moments. Still though, I'd rather have a villian who's incompetent yet entertaining instead of one who's competent yet has the personality of a block of wood. *cough* Sombra *cough*

Um... I just clicked like on this story an a weird notification popped up saying something about "Incorrect Rating Code":rainbowhuh:

I love it how I insta-fav and like every story from you the moment it appears and never regret it after I actually read the thing. :twilightsmile:

3036225

Reloading the page should fix that.

The error message is confusing but I'm guessing it's some kind of CSRF protection. (It would make a lot of sense if it's intended to prevent people from being able to embed deceptively-named "like my fic" or "dislike this fic I hate" links in other pages so they can trick users into clicking them.)

You receive a CSRF authorization token when you load the page and it expires after a while, which would explain why I saw that message after trying to like a oneshot I'd left open overnight.

"You tried to steal my Shiny away from me." Cadance's face twisted into a snarl. "He's mine."

I know how you feel. Nobody takes my shinies!

NO ONE.

...my shinies

24.media.tumblr.com/cc8b1f60a668cb2741eab925cf30d352/tumblr_mnr3gmfDUC1s0i268o3_500.gif

Well... The episode wouldn't have had much impact would it if this had happened...

All my YESSSS!!!!!!!!! Seriously could not stop laughing the entire time! :rainbowlaugh:

This needs the alternate universe tag. Funny story by the way.

Raven: ........... That's gotta hurt......... Liked!

Dr. X: .......... Well, that escalated quickly.....

Love it! Your comedy is just as enjoyable as your tragedy is soul-crushingly depressing.

I've seen this comic. In it, Chrysalis gets as far as "what they don't know is that I have fooled them all" before guards burst into the room and arrest her: "we heard everything".

Very fun. :pinkiehappy: I love that they question the pauses in her singing.

3124427 Why? It's exactly the same universe; things just panned out a bit differently. By that standard, every single fic would need the AU tag.

3385416 Well, I guess it's not that different. It may not need the tag.

Great little alternative story, that fits in well with the fourth wall breaking style of the official comics. Same thing with Discord, if he just actually used his powers against the elements rather than just chatting, we would all be swimming in oceans of chocolate milk right now!

3385416
Here's how I look at it:
Not every fic has events that can not occur in the same way as they do in the canonverse, therefore not every fic would need the AU tag. This one is about how the one-time event of Shining Armor and Cadance getting married turned out differently. It deserves the AU tag.

3640740 To me, I always felt that Alternate Universe meant a universe where something fundamental was changed; say, Nightmare Moon having defeated Celestia, Twilight being a stallion, everything being steampunk, et cetera. I wouldn't consider 'two guards were there to listen in on Chrysalis' to be an alternate universe; it's too minor of a change in events. Different views, I suppose.

3647930 fair enough. But the effect of guards eavesdropping would create a significantly different reality, given time. See Chaos Theory (wikipedia article).

"You tried to steal my Shiny away from me." Cadance's face twisted into a snarl. "He's mine."

My first thought upon reading this? It sounds like their fighting over a coin.

And this is what happen is there is no scenario saying: "Celestia need to get her flank kicked and Chrysalis need to take the Canterlot and capture mane six."
Nice to see for Celestia to strike Chrysalis off guard instead of waiting until she finish a monologue and give her chance for self defence.
Good to see that guards were actually there instead of disapearing, what let them evacuate the quests out of this room so no cyvilian would be put in danger.
It is good that Twilight and Cadence and Luna's guards and Luna herself teaming up with Celestia against Chrysalis instead of everyone just watching as Celestia is losing the fight (come on, Twilight and Cadence or any guard in the room had a clear shot at Chrysalis who was to focused on shooting her beam.

But yea, if you add a bit realism into the story, everyone start to act more reasonable and the villain get her flank kicked instead of taking over Canterlot (only for the villain to act forcefully stupid so that good characters could blast her and her army away).

I want a sequel, or at least a second chapter telling of the fallout from this day.

Login or register to comment