• Member Since 22nd Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Arwhale


All my stories end with the word "gullible." No really, check them out!

E
Source

Honesty. It's not just her sister's element; it's the Apple Family policy. Always has been, and always will be.

So, after Apple Bloom makes a terrible decision and ends up becoming a thief, her own shame and guilt begin to gnaw away at her until she can't take it anymore.

She needs to confess... even if it means having to suffer the consequences.

Rated E for Everyone.

Featured in Twilight's Library!
Featured in Equestria Daily 6/28/2014.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 76 )

“Blubbalubbalubbalub!” Scootaloo stuck out her tongue and wiggled it up and down, crossing her eyes and tilting her head to the side. It was the stupidest face she could make.

Ladies and gentlemen: Scootaloo. :heart:

It was the first whiff, the first instant she detected the presence of something sweet wafting through the air, carried by the cool, early-autumn breeze. As they drew closer, the smell grew stronger: the scent of glazed sugar mingling with crisp cinnamon, the faint, buttery aroma of flaky pastry and the earthy, sweet scent of chocolate. Nutmeg, clove, and candied fruits, a symphony of flavors blended together, yet each somehow distinct.

Don't get any ideas, AB! Hooves to yourself, filly.

Tarts, cookies, cakes, and pastries lined the top and bottom shelves, forming a myriad of pastel colors akin to a stained-glass mosaic.

Love your scene-building.

“These babies,” she gestured to the foggy glass with her forehooves, rearing up on her hind legs, “are the Cake’s amazing, stupenderific, wondertastical, super awesome brand-spanking new…”

*checks story description* Uh-oh. Leg it, Bloom!

Also, I saw that! The fic's name changed!

“Well, who says she has to eat it before dinner, Applejack?”

Pinkie to the rescue :pinkiehappy:

“Three bits!” Pinkie chirped. She opened up the cash register and waited for Applejack to hoof over the money. Applejack rummaged around in the bag with her snout for a few moments. And then, a few more. Apple Bloom fidgeted anxiously, front hooves making light clops on the tile as she shifted her weight from one leg to another.

Oh, no. OH, NO! My stomach actually hurt here. I'm legitimately feeling bad for poor AB. I've been in that situation before... a parent gives in to your deepest sugary desire, and... nooo money! :raritydespair

She froze mid-thought. Her eyes had slowly drifted away from the door as she mused, panning from right to left, across the glass counter…
…and onto the platter of pecan buns.

Nope. Fuck my earlier warning, AB. You know what to do!

i.imgur.com/cLILFoc.gif

Another peek. Still nothing.

Fuck! Just take it! Take-it-take-it-take-it! TAKE IT!

i.imgur.com/DNf7c.jpg
(there we go)

Well, this comment is already obnoxiously long, so I'll end with a 'great chapter'! Seriously, though, loved how the crime is ALREADY eating AB up inside. That'll make confessing her crime all the easier on her, I hope.

4156821

Thanks a bunch for your comment, man. Glad to see this is a hit with somebody, seeing that it doesn't seem to be doing so hot with the rest of... like, everybody. :rainbowlaugh: Oh well. You get your booms, and you get your busts, I guess.

I'll do my best to get the next part out in a decent amount of time, but life is being a turd lately, so I'm not sure if that's going to happen. Again, I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it so far, man.

Stay classy.

Wow, it's been a while. It's nice coming back to here to one of your stories. I'll definitely be following this one.

4157814

WAAAAAHHHH

Damn right it's been a long time! How've you been? I was going to send you a PM because I hadn't seen or heard from you in forever, but now you're suddenly back, so... yahoover!

Sorry if I got a little overenthusiastic there. Anywho, I'm glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

Also, whoa. This actually somehow made it to the popular section despite having a really slow start.

Hey, I'll take what I can get. :rainbowkiss:

4158627 I'm surprised that someone missed me :'D
Life's been...life. You feel? Once spring break rolls around I might just start showing my face on here again. (Hopefully. I've really missed it on here.)

Yup, I enjoyed the beginning of this. I feel that it's going I be gooooood...

This one hit me harder than I thought it would... You captured the in-the-act thrill of it, the inward surprise at ease, and the following guilt.
One would almost think you'd done this before, or at least had the act described to you. Guess it takes one to know one eh?

I was surprised in the moment Applebloom started acknowledging what she was about to do, I got that familiar tug. It always felt like the object had chosen you for itself, like it was right. I hope Applebloom learns how to cope with that part of herself before she goes too far. There are so many ways this could go, positive and negative implications are just swimming through my head right now.

This is very well-written. Take my like, get on my read later list, have a favorite so I can get email updates, just, ALL the things.

You've gone and made me giddy now. I was convinced that my bad day would remain entirely unpleasant and you have to go and make me giddy. Now my plans of clicking between four tabs in a silent angst are ruined.

4159120

WHAT. THE FUCK.

This was a coincidence. The old title was something completely different. I've never heard of that story before.

EDIT: Title went from "Honest Apple" to "Rotten" to "Rotten Apples." I have no idea how I can possibly convince anyone otherwise other than to say I just took a look at that story right now, and the plotline actually looks a lot different from what this story is here.

4159135
...
not for title, they have similar plot: AB the thief.

4159575

It's the combination of the two things that I was defending against. If I'd written the same story but kept the old title I had before, it wouldn't seem so similar, and the other story may never have come up. I did read the other Rotten Apples to see how similar these two actually were in terms of plot. In the other story, Apple Bloom steals candy accidentally and thinks she's going to get in trouble. Here, it's no accident; Apple Bloom knew full well what she was doing. And to say that this story has "been done before" is not correct in the slightest, despite seeming like they are the same story on the surface. There's a whole bunch of differences between the two that make each one distinct.

I'm sorry you felt the need to switch your upvote into a down because of this, but oh well. So long as people know I didn't plagiarize anything, I can live with that.

4158928

Ironically, I actually haven't experienced this kind of thing before with stealing stuff. I just went with what felt natural considering the circumstances, and judging from your response, I guess I did a pretty good job!

Glad you're liking it so far, and I promise to try my best to get the next chapter out in good time!

You've gone and made me giddy now. I was convinced that my bad day would remain entirely unpleasant and you have to go and make me giddy. Now my plans of clicking between four tabs in a silent angst are ruined.

I made your day?

Well then... you just made MY day. :pinkiehappy:

This is very good so far, and you've got me hooked to see what comes in future chapters. The only negative I might mention is that I think it could have been trimmed down just a little, but that's splitting hairs.

Three notes:

With a jolt, she hopped on her hooves and face the counter.

Looks like there's some sort of error here.

The name rolled off her tongue like water down a slide. To Apple Bloom, it was the new name for bliss, heaven come down to earth in the form of a pastry.

I really enjoy your writing style. It's rich and amusing, and this line is a good example of it. That first sentence made me laugh.

...and she couldn’t have any of them, all because her dumb big sister hadn’t brought along enough money along.

Two “along”s spotted.

4165573

The only negative I might mention is that I think it could have been trimmed down just a little, but that's splitting hairs.

I'll be more careful in the future to try and avoid being long-winded with my narration. That's always been a problem of mine, and hearing that there's still some issues with it is valuable in helping me to be more conscious of it while I'm writing. Sure, I've made some improvements since my early days, but I've still got a ways to go.

Thanks for the feedback and pointing out some typos you saw (God, I need to stop self-editing every bleedy-bloody thing). And I'm glad you like my writing style, despite maybe needing some trimming down. :twilightsheepish: Feels good to know I'm still doing a good job.

4166980 About the narration's long-winded-ness, I wouldn't fret too much. I like I said, it was a really nitpicky complaint, even as far as nitpicky complaints go.

By the way, if you're in need of an editor, I've done a fair amount of editing work during my time in the brony fanfiction community. I hope it doesn't come across as presumptuous, but feel free to shoot me a message, if you want.

This chapter...this chapter actually brought tears to my eyes. That doesn't happen very often.

So it seems Appleblooms' moral standing stayed with her after all. That's good, if she can hold onto that bit of good character she has a much lesser chance of going down the darkest road of greed.

I liked how you dragged us through every moment of gut-wrenching, almost painful guilt. I may not have had siblings that would be disappointed in my actions (Rather, they had encouraged my dishonest beginnings), but seeing Applebloom trust her sister enough to come clean even when she was so conflicted made me feel good.

Keep up the great work, Arwhale. And don't worry about it not being good enough- You've obviously put in the care that makes a good chapter great.
It's hard to believe you were multitasking, though. I'd have gotten distracted and remembered the tab was open a few hours later, only because I'd accidentally closed it.

:rainbowderp: Whoa, this is getting interesting...

:applecry: I... I really don't know what to say. This chapter was intense, you really explained Apple Bloom's feelings to the situation outstandingly well, I could really feel her pain and conflict about her decision. I wonder how Applejack's gonna react to this?

This was a really touching chapter. I figured Pinkie wouldn't be mad with Apple Bloom, but I really liked that Apple Bloom was so mad at herself.

I really liked how Applejack told her that after Pinkie and she forgave Apple Bloom, the only one left was for Apple Bloom to forgive herself. It's nice that she has such a strong moral compass.

4458443

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! I tried to convey Apple Bloom's little war with herself without making it sound so drawn out, but for some reason, I feel like I rushed it instead. :twilightsheepish: In my opinion, Apple Bloom's the kind of character that would fall into a guilt trip for this kind of situation because of her desire to please her family, so I wanted to describe that without going overboard. Judging from the 8000 word count, I'm not sure if I did that exactly, but oh well. Live and learn, I guess.

Oh, and thanks for the follow, as well!

4458573 Well, mission accomplished. AB's internal struggle felt very real, and it didn't feel rushed at all. I really liked how Applejack felt betrayed by her little sister's dishonesty rather than angry. I know she was angry, but the feeling of betrayal was stronger.

Apple Bloom also strikes me as a character that wants to please her family. You didn't go overboard, though I understand your concern with the word count. I worry about posting chapters that are too long. The longest I have is at the 10k mark.

Still, you did a great job and it wasn't too much, and you are quite welcome. I look forward to checking out some of your other stories. :yay:

Wow. This story is such a masterpiece because I'm sure there are some bronies out there that can relate to what Apple Bloom was going through: how she stole something, feels horrible about it, returns what she stole but still doesn't have the guts to forgive herself for it. They should totally make this into an episode of the show, it's just so realistic and well written! :pinkiesmile:

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful...:pinkiesad2:

Is there going to be that one trope where she cracks when applejack asks her to pass the salt at the dinner table? Just a wild guess.

Solid story so far btw.

4459875
4460670

Saying it feels like an episode from the show is a pretty great compliment, so thank you! I'm glad you guys thought it was relatable and well-written. For me, it's sometimes hard to know, especially since my head's been kinda cloudy lately.


4461032

Thanks, glad you liked it! :twilightsmile:

4461420
I wish I could write like this.

It was a bit hoof-draggy, but a satisfying conclusion nonetheless.

good work Arwhale.

4469573

It was a bit hoof-draggy

Dang nabbit. I kind of felt like it was, even based solely on the word count (8000 words... lolwhut), but I'd already been delayed so much with writing the chapter that I just decided to publish it anyway. Lesson learned.

Glad you found it satisfying anyway! I'll be getting to your story prompt idea at some point, but I'm still working on Hoof Covers Bruise and my dark Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo story for right now. They're going to take me some time, but I'll get to your story as soon as I can after that!

Thanks for reading!

4476787
I look forward to all of that.

I may or may not have totally forgot about this. Not getting chapter updates didn't help. Way to go, FIMFrick.

This chapter was gloriously intensive. The whole time AJ was in the room, I was on the edge of my seat. You write suspense phenomenally.

Have a like, a fav, a feature rec, and a ribbon, my fine aquatic author.
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png

4518501

Thanks a ton! Means a lot, especially since this one hasn't been as popular with people, it seems.

4510709

Yeah, suspense is kind of my forte, I'm not gonna lie. That's why a bunch of people got mad (and rightfully so) when I cancelled Heaven Nor Hell. It had a bunch of really cool suspense, but the story itself wasn't going to work out.

Hope you like the conclusion, too! And don't worry, Fimfic screws us all over at some point. :twilightsmile:

I did! Sorry I never got to comment; finished it on the bus. Was definitely worth the read and the whole incident was handled in a really mature way, considering, y'know... Pinkie. The suspense in the rest of the fic made AB's total guilt absolutely genuine to read, too, which is why I was rooting for such a clean resolution :twilightsmile:

4545647

Sweet! Glad you liked it. I know it was a good bunch of words to slog through, but I'm glad you thought it was worth it, anyway!

Now, I'm just gonna try and get it accepted onto EQD, but I dunno if that'll work out. We shall see! :pinkiehappy:

Very solidly done, you really beautifully capture the feeling of a young child.

4159120
4159135

I actually came here to point out the exact same thing... :twilightblush:

Let me be clear: I do not think that you intended to "steal" anything. My fic has what, a hundred views? It got rejected from EqD nearly two years ago. When I saw this pop up on EqD, I was a little bit irked (i'm actually kinda flattered that someone remembered my story). But now I'm just amused.

I haven't read your story yet, but I'll get around to it! You know what they say: great minds think alike (although I can say with full certainty that your mind is greater than mine :twilightsmile: ).

Godspeed and God bless,
Dubs

This was a very nice story and it taught some very important lessons. Good job. I liked how you made Apple Bloom act and feel because of her overwhelming guilt.

I'm once again reminded why I started following you in the first place. Your stories always feel so tangible and real to me. I remember the times I messed up as a kid and pretty much got the same lecture and treatment as Apple Bloom did. Brought a lot of warm, slightly embarrassing feelings back. It's a weird feeling, but a good one. I always remember my mom telling me that there was never something so bad that I wouldn't be able to tell it to my family, and whatever happened, family would never give up on each other. Thanks for taking me back to those feelings. It's been too long.

Damn you. Now I'm crying.

This was excellent. You paced this story perfectly, stretching out and showing the scenes that required such. I'm very glad I took the time to read your story.


Nitpicks:

At the mention of her nickname, her ears perked up, suddenly on the alert.

Just imagine how devastated poor Bloom will feel when she finally learns that's Applejack's nickname for every pony. :applecry:

Applejack reached into the saddlebag she was carrying and pulled out the flattened, stale pecan bun and held it in her hoof.

From what I understand, the bun has been in its bag for most of the day. From what I understand, this is happening about an hour after suppertime. In the first chapter, Pinkie mentioned that, if Applejack were to buy a bun, it would still be fresh after suppertime. Shouldn't the bun still be fresh?

the stories real good, the characters are well developed and i was pretty emmersed in the story. love it

Congratulations on getting posted on EQD!!

This chapter legitimately made me cry. The way you handled the conflict was very sweet and believable. You have just gained another like, favorite, and watch from me.

Great story. Not too many fics can get into the mind of a child this well.

Story's GREAT so far! I'm about to read the next chapter.
I did see this, though.

"She’d wait until after dinner to eat it. If she tried to taste it before and it spoiled her appetite, she’d totally give herself away. Applejack would find out everything, and she’d be done for."

But even though she realizes this - she still ends up not having an appetite anyway and barely eating.
Just found it funny. Not sure if it was intentional or not. :derpytongue2:

vvv Also - this story in pony emotes. vvv
:applejackunsure::applecry:

Man. This resolved so well, and it's all so realistic. I could practically feel Applebloom's emotions.

Growing up, I never wanted to do anything wrong or get scolded and I had a pretty good sense of moral. The word "no" or "don't" didn't go well with me, because it always made me think that perhaps I did something wrong - even if that "something" was causing the other person to feel like they had to say something. For example, if I was standing next to a large vase or something but I didn't even notice it - let alone wanna do anything to it - and yet someone saw me and said, "Ah - please don't touch that, okay?" in a polite but slightly concerned tone - I'd feel like I did what they asked me not to do simply because I was told not to do it, and it filled me with unneccesary worry and/or guilt.

So naturally, I know how it feels to do something wrong and feel bad for it. And even if everyone forgives you, that doesn't change the fact hat you did something wrong. If someone says "I forgive you" but then says, "But unfortunately you need to make up for it somehow", the idea of 'making up for it' only drills it deeper in your mind that you did something wrong, and it almost comes across as a punishment.

Things like that always made me feel very bad. I'm just glad I wasn't actually Applebloom. :)

Nice story. Well done. I enjoy slice-of-life things like this. :twilightsmile:

4612985

Not gonna lie... that does sound like it would be pretty irritating to see. Glad there are no hard feelings, though! :twilightblush:

(although I can say with full certainty that your mind is greater than mine :twilightsmile: ).

Oh, pish posh.

4613407

You're welcome. Means a lot to know that something I wrote meant a lot to you. Kinda validates why I'm writing stuff on here, to be honest.


4613519

You paced this story perfectly

YES. Getting the pacing down right is HUGE to me, so I'm glad you thought I did that well!

Shouldn't the bun still be fresh?

Well... you bring up a good point. I guess it's just because I thought the imagery would make more sense considering the whole tone of the rest of the scene. That, and the fact that it's a long time after "right after dinner" at that point in the story.

Or, at least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. :twilightblush:

4622336

Heh, okay. I can live with that!

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