I'm sorry, y'all. What I have been doing on here has not been healthy, it hasn't been fair to anyone following me to hear about how suicidal I've been and whatnot, and it hasn't helped any of the issues that I have the responsibility to try and work out with, if possible, professional help. Posting about all of my mental health problems on a public forum is fundamentally not a healthy thing to do for myself, or especially for other people who I burden with all this heavy shit. Monologuing about

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Hello everyone! Wow, what a pleasant surprise this has turned out to be.

I just wanted to say thank you to all the people that gave Vapor Trail's Special Tea a read. It really seems like quite a lot of you enjoyed it. It even made the feature box for about two days, which is amazing! I never expected that to happen, especially since since the ponies in question haven't had their episode since Season 6. That's more than 3 years ago!

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Summary: On their special night in before a long holiday weekend, Vapor Trail and Sky Stinger try some new tea. Some new, special tea.

A most welcome surprise ensues for the both of them.

I'm having a hard time connecting the dots in this upcoming VaporSky clopfic, particularly with the buildup. I want it to have at least as much development and, well, an actual story as When We Get Home did, but I'm not sure if I'll even succeed with that. It's gonna possibly be my rustiest work I've released yet, but hopefully it'll at least be entertaining. And maybe hot, too, who knows?

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Hi everyone. Sooo, it's been not even a month since my last blog, but I feel like a lot has changed since then. I had lingering withdrawal for about a week after stopping drinking, coupled with a few sleepless nights and some serious cravings, but now I've been completely alcohol free for the past three weeks or so. Boy, do I feel better. Still not sure what I'm gonna do with my life anymore, but I'll try not to make drinking myself stupid a part of the plan from now on.

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Hi everyone. I promise this isn't another "Arwhale wants to die" post, but damn if it isn't another fucking "Arwhale is a depressed motherfucker" post.

Sooooo I'm now a literal alcoholic as of the past two months. This is the wine I've consumed since September 10:

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What a beautiful show. It has been a privilege to be a part of all of this for so many years, and this finale was everything.

This is the literal best possible ending I can think of. I'm so sad, but so overjoyed at the same time. And there is no way, NO WAY, that I'm not gonna still be here when G5 rolls around.

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Hi everyone. Due to the recent situation with me being hospitalized after having a complete mental breakdown, my situation with my family has become recently very, um, complicated due to medical bills and the fact that my dad sperm donor still has me on his health plan since I'm under 26 or whatever. He's been trying to hold shit over my head recently and to make a long story short, I've been pretty stressed. I won't go into details.

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Last week, I had a total panic attack that lasted for over an hour in the library parking lot that only stopped when I basically fainted in my car. I made a last ditch effort at self-preservation and checked myself into the hospital ER when I started pulling out the hunting knife in my glove box to cut my own throat and realized what I was doing. I spent a week in the psych ward and got my meds adjusted and got some group and individual therapy. Upon discharge I learned that I also have been

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Hi everyone. Over the last week, maybe two, I'm starting to try not giving a fuck. I've always been a mess of performance anxiety and feeling like I'm failing other people constantly. But this past Tuesday after another big fuck up I made at my externship despite my best efforts to NOT fuck up, I had this switch flip in my brain where I was like, "Hey, if I'm gonna fuck things up anyway then I might as well not give a shit". Which is great because I usually just want to jump into oncoming

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