• Member Since 22nd Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Arwhale


All my stories end with the word "gullible." No really, check them out!

E

Having been many months since the last one, Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo decide it would be a fun idea to take another weekend camping trip up to Winsome Falls in the spring. But on their first night in the tent, Scootaloo accidentally wakes up Rainbow Dash in the middle of the night... and ends up revealing an embarrassing secret.

She's wet the bed.

Lots of Scootalove up in this hood. Read at your own peril.

Featured on Equestria Daily 2/11/2014.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 65 )

Aww. We all know the feeling, Scoot, we all know the feeling. :twilightsmile:

I'm sorry but this has too much D'aww for me:heart:

3673328

too much D'aww

There is no such thing! BLASPHEMY! :pinkiegasp:

Glad you liked it!

Been looking forward to your Scootalove project :heart: I must read this during my Christmas break :pinkiehappy:

3673305

:fluttershyouch:

As for the story... D'awwwws much? :heart:

3673389

Please do, bruh! I'm pretty sure you'll like it! :pinkiehappy:

"And it always feels worse in the winter. You suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, feeling all cold, when you realize that you're cold because you're wet all over, and that the PJ's you're wearing are stuck to your skin." She paused to take a deep breath. "And then you have to decide whether or not you should wake up your parents and tell them, or if you should just try to fall back asleep and wait for them to find out in the morning."

DUDE. You captured all the shame I've EVER felt from being a bedwetter. All of it. Every last drop of shame. Goodness this was a great story, thanks for writing about this, you made a former bed wetter feel A LOT better about his issues.

:scootangel:

THE D'AWW IT'S IT'S-

*dies from heart attack*

3673478

A lot of that came from my own experience, actually(as you can probably tell). Glad to know I was able to convey that shameful feeling into words!

And thanks a lot for the watch, man!

3673551 You're quite welcome, this is the last place i'd expected to meet someone who had a similar issue. I'm glad too though.

nice story scoot and dash together is always good no matter the situation :scootangel::rainbowkiss:

Hmm. A pretty likable story. It was very short and sweet. It had a lot of typos and grammar mistakes that you might want to fix with another editing pass, but the story as is was nice.

I didn't wet the bed after I was, I dunno, maybe four, so I can't really relate to the problem. I've helped treat kids with the problem so I'm not completely unfamiliar on the topic from the biological side, but the psychological side was a nice read. A lot more common for girls I hear.

I somehow can't help but feel that this story was a stub, though. It could have used a lot more time to work the characters. The first almost half of the story doesn't really lead to anything and it messes the pacing up somewhat. Then we have Scootaloo doing a trick and even breaking her helmet, but it doesn't lead to anything. Details like that in a short story are usually only mentioned if they lead to something, because if they don't, they only serve to confuse the reader. Chekhov's Gun must be a familiar trope, right? That's why it was so obvious what would happen when Scoots guzzled down that canteen of hers. The fact that the word canteen was mentioned... (quick count) six times in the story already made it clearly a narrative object and not just a descriptive element. That's why when I read about a broken helmet, I immediately started thinking how it will come into play later. It was a nice detail, but it wasn't necessary for the story. For example, just mentioning she had a new dent in her already battered helmet would have served the same purpose without being a Red Herring. I also always thought the helmet was metal, not styrofoam, but that's just my preconception.

Also is this one of the campsite they hung around in SiP? Because there was a stream right next to it, and a river next to the other one as well, so I found it pretty weird RD would want to postpone the thing until reaching the falls. Minor nitpicks of course, but Celestia is in the details, as they say.

There was one moment that felt pretty out of character in the fic, unfortunately. It was when Dash started describing how Scootaloo feels. Not even that as such, because it was the Reveal that she'd been a bed-wetter as well. It was the fact that RD started crying about it.

Tears were staining both of their faces. Rainbow Dash placed her hoof under Scootaloo's chin, raising her head so that they were looking straight at each other.

"I know, Squirt." She wiped the drying tears from Scootaloo's cheek. "I know."

That kinda went from being a cute moment between a filly and her role model into 'fishing for feels' territory. It almost made the moment weaker to me. She's an adult and a pretty tough one at that, so it kinda felt un-necessary. Tears are so over-used in 'feel-fics' that they kinda irk me. We already have one character showing emotions that she's crying, so the other one crying as well kinda made it cheaper to me. Without the mention of RD's tears, the scene would have played out just as well, but without the extra dramatics.

Here I go and ramble again. It was a nice fic with a touchy subject that you handled admirably and I start nitpicking away. :facehoof: I liked it, favourited it, hit that thumb-up and will probably see if you've got something else worth reading too. :twilightsmile:

EDIT: Huh. Turns out I was already following you because of another fic you wrote. (Hoof covers bruise) but I haven't read it since the first chapter because somehow I haven't been able to get into sad Scootaloo fics for a long while She's become a bit too precious for me. :twilighblush:) So, yay for not being able to follow you again?

I have never peed in( bed so I do not know what scoots is going through I have thrown up in bed a TON though:ajbemused:

Aw, what a sweet story! :twilightsmile: I got the feels no matter how gross it was - (actually, it wasn't gross, to be honest) :pinkiesmile:
As well, I didn't find any clunkiness and such anywhere in the story. It was really adorable. Nice work!! :rainbowkiss:

Man, why you gotta damn do dis to me? I'm gonna be d'awwing all night...

But that was adorable. I'd put on a Rainbow Dash kissy face but I'm not on my computer.

Poor Scootaloo. It's okay, sometimes it just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. Everyone wets the bed at some point, some more then others. We won't think any less of you for it. :pinkiesad2:

"I know, Squirt."

"No no no, It's fine, I promise. C'mon, Squirt."

You don't have to be sorry, Squirt.

Squirt... A slightly unfortunate nickname considering what just happened:facehoof:, but overall I like this story. Keep it up.:rainbowdetermined2:

This was a well handled story. Especially since Scootaloo felt a lot better at the end of the night. :scootangel:

Some great interactivity between RD and Scoots. Very playful, the way Scoots acts, knowing she interrupted a very important nap! RD's elderly-sister/motherly instincts kicking in when Scoots hurt herself was very pleasant, too. I get what you mean when you said this story would have feels, and these are just in the opening scenes.

Scootaloo uncapped the canteen and took another swig before setting it back down on the rock.

Careful, Scoots! You'll pee :(

The scene jump kinda confused me, since I lost track of who the story was following, as the last character to be in the narrator's perspective was Scootaloo (after RD retired to the tent). So, I had to re-read the lines about RD waking up a few times before I realized that it was now back into her third-person. Anyways, even knowing this is a wetting story, you build the tension for the reader nicely as RD is practically interrogating Scootaloo when she realizes she's the one who woke her. She's trying to figure out what's going on, but she's still the big sister, offering to swap places and worried that the filly can't sleep. Nice touch.

"It feels... dirty, doesn't it?" There was a tremor in her voice. "Like you want nothing more in the world than to wake up one day and, for once, just know for sure you'll be dry. But no matter how much you want it, it just seems like it'll never happen."

Oooh! I think I know where this is going. Nothing is more awesome than finding out you have more in common with a very close friend, even if it's not exactly something to celebrate.

Yep. Also, when RD was washing Scootaloo down, I actually got little goosebumps. You could just... feel the understanding between them, it was so sweet. Rainbow Dash definitely makes an awesome big sister. Her actions and thoughts at the end seal the deal.

You delivered the feels :heart: Well done.

Wasn't this named something more descriptive earlier?

3676592

Yeah. But then I decided against it because this title is a helluva lot better.

3673716

Here I go and ramble again. It was a nice fic with a touchy subject that you handled admirably and I start nitpicking away. :facehoof:

I think you make very sensible points, actually. I honestly wouldn't dismiss them as you nitpicking.

It had a lot of typos and grammar mistakes that you might want to fix with another editing pass,

:twilightoops:

Dang. I fixed seven of them just on my first re-read. Sorry about that...

That's why when I read about a broken helmet, I immediately started thinking how it will come into play later. It was a nice detail, but it wasn't necessary for the story.

I agree. I think I probably lingered on the description of the helmet a little too long, and probably ended up confusing some people later on when it was never addressed again.

I also always thought the helmet was metal, not styrofoam, but that's just my preconception.

I actually think you might be right about that. But I guess I just went with styrofoam so I could be all like, "WHOAH she blew the flakes of styrofoam off her hoof and it looked like snowflakes lolololz" and go a bit loco with the imagery and stuff. :twilightblush:

Also is this one of the campsite they hung around in SiP? Because there was a stream right next to it, and a river next to the other one as well, so I found it pretty weird RD would want to postpone the thing until reaching the falls.

...

I guess not? :twilightblush:

That kinda went from being a cute moment between a filly and her role model into 'fishing for feels' territory. It almost made the moment weaker to me. She's an adult and a pretty tough one at that, so it kinda felt un-necessary. Tears are so over-used in 'feel-fics' that they kinda irk me. We already have one character showing emotions that she's crying, so the other one crying as well kinda made it cheaper to me. Without the mention of RD's tears, the scene would have played out just as well, but without the extra dramatics.

Thanks for pointing that out. The absolute last thing I want to do is contrive "feels" just for the hell of it. It kind of irks me as well when I see perfectly good stories contrive aspects of the characters for the sake of feels, and that's not something I wanted to end up doing here. Thanks for the input.

I liked it, favourited it, hit that thumb-up and will probably see if you've got something else worth reading too. :twilightsmile:

Glad you liked it. Hopefully, some of my other stuff is up to speed, too.

EDIT: Huh. Turns out I was already following you because of another fic you wrote. (Hoof covers bruise) but I haven't read it since the first chapter because somehow I haven't been able to get into sad Scootaloo fics for a long while She's become a bit too precious for me. :twilighblush:

I understand. Hoof Covers Bruise isn't an easy read thus far, but...

Alrighty. So I'm just gonna be about as shameless as humanly possible and say that I think you'd find Hoof Covers Bruise worth your time to read. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to write it in the first place, other than it being a sequel to Like Shattered Glass, is because I'd seen so many Scootabuse and Scootaloo orphan stories that either completely DESTROYED her personality and made her into some "woe is me" character that threw herself a pity party every five minutes, or just consisted of nothing but gratuitous violence and abuse as a cheap substitution for actual feels.

As a result, I wanted to write a Scootabuse story that did do her character justice. And while I'm aware that I'll probably come across as a jackass saying this in the comments... I really do believe you'd find HCB to be different from many other generic Scootabuse fics out there. Hell, you might even really like it.

But I can't speak for your tastes, so I'll just leave it at that. :twilightsmile:

So, yay for not being able to follow you again?

Maybe it's just because I have more ginseng running through my veins than blood right now, but I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that... :twilightblush:

And thanks a crud ton for your feedback. I really do appreciate it!

3676980 I meant that I'm already following you and that if I wasn't, I would have started to thanks to this fic. I just didn't remember I was. :facehoof:So hence "follow you a second time."

A joke. Funny. With the laughs, you know?

I know I'll read HCB some day, but until further notice, I'm far more into Scootalove, especially now that we have such good canon outlets for it with her hanging around her friends and RD.:twilightsmile:

And don't get used to nice, constructive criticism and nice comments. I'm a total asshole, a troll, a Tumblr fag and a full-on retard, according to what I've read about myself on the site in just last week. So beware! :flutterrage:

3677011

And don't get used to nice, constructive criticism and nice comments. I'm a total asshole, a troll, a Tumblr fag and a full-on retard, according to what I've read about myself on the site in just last week. So beware! :flutterrage:

I'll stay on my toes. :twilightblush:

I meant that I'm already following you and that if I wasn't, I would have started to thanks to this fic. I just didn't remember I was. :facehoof:So hence "follow you a second time."

Ohh. So did you mean to type "now being able to follow you again"? Because you wrote "not being able to follow you again." That was what I was confused about.

3677034 Well I CAN'T follow you (as in push the follow button) if I already DO follow you. Simple.

Meh. Jokes get totally lame when you have to explain them.

Okay, here's the deal: Following is magic. Now I don't have to explain shit. Cos it's magic, yo. :raritywink:

3677292

Well I CAN'T follow you (as in push the follow button) if I already DO follow you. Simple.

Oh. No shit. My bad. :rainbowlaugh:

Although, technically you're not following ME yet, because you're not one of the 61 peeps that are on my "official" followers list. But whaterrr.

3676076

Thanks a lot, KK. I had a feeling you'd like it. :pinkiehappy: I tried really hard to make sure that I wrote their relationship in a way that was believable, and I'm happy that it looks like I've succeeded.

3673774

Thanks, carnivale. Good to know it wasn't gross! :twilightsmile:

3677512 No problem! I really enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

3677331 Yeah I am. And it's 63, noob. :scootangel:

This was pretty great. However on a personal level it's kind of ironic that I couldn't stop thinking of my little brother who had the same problem. Course I'm sure scoots' problem isn't a medical problem with her bladder that she takes medicine for to this day. But the connection is still there and maybe this is just my head canon of the ages where Scootaloo is about the age he got diagnosed. Sorry I digressed, great fic either way though.

Loved it!

This story is well written. Keep up the good work and have a thumbs up on me. :)

I think you've grappled a sensitive topic very well, alot of people are traumatized when they wet the bed growing up, the sense of shame made worse by less than understanding parents at times. but i believe you did a good job overall, especially with Rainbow's reaction and handling. great fic.:twilightsmile:

Thank you... just... thank you! So much!

i.imgur.com/JAcGzcv.gif

Excellent job proving once again that RD admitting that she's not quite so awesome as she lets on is an act more awesome than any stunt she's ever going to pull.

Wow. A story about bed-wetting that doesn't treat that problem like a joke. Whodathunkit?
I'm starting to like your stuff a lot. Upvote from me.

Grats on your EQD, bro!

3930372

Thanks! I'm pretty much totally stoked about it! :yay:

This was excellently well written and I think you captured the personality of the show's characters spot on. The word "perfect" seems like a little much, but I really don't see any flaws this this one. An easy like and favorite ^^

I love your fanfiction. That's the most important thing I have to say about it.
Stories like yours are exactly the stories I want to see in the show, everything that shows how Rainbow Dash gets more used to it to be the big sister of Scootaloo!
I also wouldn't mind to see the exact same thing that happens in your fanfiction, wetting beds is a completely normal thing and can happen to any filly!
Even to such a cool one like Scootaloo! I hope we will ever get stories like this in the show!
As for the quality of your story, you don't have to worry about anything. This is so much better than my story!
I just wrote my first one and even when I think it came out very good for my first one, I see that I still have to learn many and to improve much when I read through it.
But this story is great!
You described everything so good. Especially the trust Scootaloo has in Rainbow Dash was described by you very well, as Scootaloo sit's completely still when Rainbow Dash cleans her whole body, touching also..... well..... let's just say a certain sensitive spot between her legs.
Also the description how it is to wet your bed at night, explained by Rainbow Dash.
I never was a bedwetter (as far as I can remember, my foalhood is almost completely shrouded in mist for me), but judging on how naturally it sounds when Rainbow Dash describes that, yeah, it's definitely exactly like that.
You've done a splendid work with it! My heart is completely molten now over such an enormous amount of Scootalove! :scootangel:
The only thing that's left now is the bitter sorrow over it, that I can't be at Rainbow Dash's place, no, that I can't be her!
Excellent story! :scootangel:

Great story.

This was very sweet. ^_^

This was a good read. It's a blessing finding other quality stories around here, and Scootalove will never get old. :twilightblush: Also, I'd love to see you continue this. I mean, you could easily finish this off in one or two more chapters.

This is about the sweetest thing I've ever read. :twilightsmile:

I think you've handled the situation very well, and I think this is a great fic! I loved how you portrayed Scootaloo's feelings and Rainbow's reaction. I upvoted and faved it:pinkiehappy:

Que madre :facehoof:
LOL

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!