• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 29th, 2018

KitsuneRisu


Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.

E

Twilight firmly believes that ghosts belong in the realm of fantasy. But after multiple brushes with the supernatural in her home, she turns to the one pony who can help. Now Fluttershy, Twilight and Spike must banish the spirit before it starts flinging her pans and clogging the toilets.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 107 )

Dangit, I was 20 seconds too slow for the first favorite.

Anyway, real comment in a few minutes when I'm finished with the chapter I'm currently reading.

4013364
I'll tell you next time I post a new story so you can snipe it. :raritywink:

Ha, ha! We meet again my friend!

4013377
Oh, hey there! ^_^ What's up? Funny we keep running into each other like this.

4013423
I always see your stories in my feed so I always decide to read them and don't be left disappointed.:raritywink: How you been?

4013445
Aye, not bad. Can't complain. I just released a new fic. Did you see it? It's got ghosts in.

:scootangel:

4013457
Indeed and I'm interested in reading this!:moustache:

4013465
Oh yeah! I read that Archer crossover you did. It was rather amusing! I'll be checking out more of your stuff too, at a later date. Thank you for all the continued support of my random scratchings. I hope you enjoy this story. It's my first attempt at a proper comedy that isn't too overblown. Critiques welcome. :pinkiecrazy:

“Come on, Twilight! Let’s not do this! Now’s not the time!”

“The complaining keeps me calm, Spike!”

So true.:moustache:

He continued to pat Fluttershy on the back as he began to muse how everything was going exactly to plan. First Rainbow, and now Twilight…

I love this!:rainbowlaugh:

4013527
Yo, spoiler tag, yo!

4013545
Whoops!:twilightoops:My bad!:twilightsheepish:

Fluttershy has face-eating scorpions as pets? That's disturbingly believable.

Wow, 'Shy is pre-pared!

It takes real talent to hide behind yourself.

Spike! How would you… how do you even know something like that?” Twilight burst out.
I live in a library, Twilight!” Spike shot back. “What did you think was going to happen eventually?”

Bwhahahahaha!

Current theory: it has something to do with the ladybug.

Oh my god, this is hilarious. That Trixie comment especially so.

New theory, it's something inside the door.

It's clearly time to teleport all of the doors out of the library.

Next theory, camouflaged gargoyles. They are the doors.

A detect life spell inside a living tree. :facehoof::rainbowlaugh:

Another theory, it's the tree itself, it has been a library for so long that it absorbed enough knowledge to become sapient.

Oh yeah, that was fantastic. Great story!

4013582
No problem! I think I'm not going to be able to stop the tide. I'll add a warning to the description instead! :twistnerd: Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!

4013601
I like how your mind works! Also I'm really glad that despite it all, I was still able to get you (at least I hope so!). Amazingly enough, you know me well enough to suspect me from the very beginning... Why can't I just write a simple ghost story and nothing more, huh? :trixieshiftright:

That ending.

Just yesssssss.

~Skeeter The Lurker

clogging the toilets?! OH NO!
That does bring back bad memoirs from late last year... the down stairs toilet backed up because of the stuff that fell down the vent pipe and it wen everywhere and just... no... :P
CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT

Angel, you evil, evil, bunny...

Wow, that was a well-crafted ghost story. I don't you could've done better than to throw together the likes of Twilight, Spike, and Fluttershy. A nice balance of skepticism, fear, and comedic timing. :twilightsmile:

4013601 Well, in Japanese mythology, old objects frequently become yokai called tsukemono...

(an otaku attacks!) :twistnerd:

But after multiple brushes with the supernatural in her home, she turns to the one pony who can help.

So who's she gonna call?

( :rainbowlaugh: )

*snerk*
Nicely done.

In particular, I thought you captured their speech especially well - I had no trouble hearing their voices as I read.

g-g-g-ghosts!

ZOINKS!

4013967
Backed up toilets is a nightmare all on its own, really. We don't need ghosts to help with that.

4014350
Thank you kindly. =) I try my best.

4014542
Yes, this is true. I have had a few myself. One time, one of my old shoes came alive and tried to eat my face. I had to beat it down with an umbrella, but that had turned alive too. It was a shame. I ended up having to shoot everything with arrows.

4015329
Don't. Don't even. :twilightangry2:

4015670
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!

4015819
DON'T. :twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2:

How did he get Rainbow. I thought she lived in a cloud?

4015855
Stahp. >=|
Although that second picture is really cute.

4015907
I left it unstated on purpose. I didn't really want to specify because it could really be done in a multitude of ways, but as I suggested at the start, Rainbow 'recently kept flying into things'. It's easy to consider possibilities. But I didn't write anything because it's not really important to the story, and it's more fun to imagine, right? :twistnerd:

4015851

So who's she gonna call?

Don't. Don't even. :twilightangry2:

I ain't scared of no author! :pinkiehappy:

“You know, like how Princess Luna sounds like when Princess Celestia hides a rat in her cereal.”

:rainbowlaugh:

...IT WAS THE RABBIT ALL ALONG :pinkiegasp:

4015915
I guess. I personally figured out what was going on in the beginning when it showed angels thoughts that he was involved. Maybe that's just me though

This has to happen,

Yes, I read the comments so I know that this is gonna get down voted to oblivion. But still, it needed to happen.

how did he get past the life detect spell? that's the only thing that's stumped me

Call for the Cutie Mark Crusaders Ghost Busters.
Funny story.

I live in a library, Twilight!” Spike shot back. “What did you think was going to happen eventually?”

This was the best part of the story.

Oh, God help me, my comments have devolved into just quoting my favourite bits and pointing out that they are funny. What have I become?

Well, it's not going down that way. Fuck. That.

For a comedy, the tone was pretty damn serious and dramatic for a large portion of the story. Yes, it had a lot of comedy in it, but it was kind of a low-key comedy, not nearly as over-the-top as it needed to be. Perhaps it didn't need to go quite as far as Diaries of an Equestrian Overlord did, but the difference is that that story, once it got into its groove at least, was pretty consistently funny. This though kind of got dragged down by all the genuine fear and discomfort the ponies went through.

I know that you're you, so you can't help but write with a character focus, but it really did hurt it at times. The final line with Angel was the worst for this. I did laugh, because the reveal was appropriately silly and over-the-top, but it was still massively dragged down by the fact that you also had Fluttershy in tears at the same time. This is one of those stories where you really needed somebody around to beat you with a newspaper.

"NO! BAD Rissie! You're writing a comedic oneshot! Stop with the deep and meaningful character insights! NO! DON'T DELVE INTO THEIR CHILDHOOD FEARS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Oh God, you fucking did it. There's an emotional, friendship-affirming sad scene all over the new floor! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG THIS WILL TAKE TO COME OUT?!"

I also didn't like how Fluttershy was stuttering even before we reached the scary bits. During and after, fine, but she doesn't normally speak with a stutter.

So I'll be honest. It was good, like your stories usually are, but it's not your best. It's not even your best comedy, which will always be Equestrian Overlord. I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt that you might be able to surpass it in terms of laughs with that Discord story you mentioned working on, but you'll have a challenge there.

Phew! There. An actual critique instead of just quoting. I was worried for a moment there that I'd lost my credibility.

(Also I see that you revised the description without me, you fucking cunt.)

Hey Kitsune...wow another brilliant story. Your characterisation of twilight, fluttershy and spike were on par. Your story had just the right level of humor that didn't drown the plot and you made me laugh and I will admit you creeped me out a little (but I love it...) Anyways thanks for another good story to read and for another addition that I'll happily keep in my favourites.

(damn you angel, you sneaky bugger...)

-frost :pinkiesmile:

Evilest...bunny...ever...

I hope he gets caught and Fluttershy takes away his desserts for a week!

4017123 I think he just stayed perfectly still and they mistook him for part of the tree.

How exactly is fluttershy qualified for this? can i see her credidentials? you need to have a liscence to hunt a ghost, you know.

4016173
No, I give you an upvote for excellent taste in music. =D
But at the same time, Very angry >=(
But very happy!
AHH! Cognitive dissonance! 9_6

4017123
Pretty much what 4021046 said.

4024943
i.imgur.com/ltW0y5c.jpg

4025045
I'm sorry, the ghost on that license is clearly expired. She needs to get it renewed.

Did I mention I like this story? The teaser scene and illustrated title line is so goddamn cleverly evocative of the show itself I'm surprised more authors haven't ripped you off. The humor is a bit hit-or-miss — the entire scene with the ladybug, for instance, tiptoes over the line from funny into simply bizarre — but it's that same straight-faced presentation of the absurd that created the moments I found most hysterical (like Fluttershy hiding behind her own legs, and Spike's expert psychoanalysis of Twilight, along with the way you lampshade it). Your characterization is excellent — nay, superb — and that's rare in something that also gives me so many smiles. And there was nothing about their helpless ghost-beset huddling which was not adorably awesome. :twilightsmile: It feels like you're doing some serious tonal juggling to fit all this in, but it keeps all the balls in the air.

4025226
It was a worthy experiment, at least! I have a very particular sense of humour, and I am quite fond of the bizarre and surreal myself. I oddly find bizarre things humourous sometimes. The ladybug bits weren't jokes at all. My intention was to set that very odd 'removed' tone from the narration, oft times found in British humour stylings. But it's good to know where it works and where it doesn't. Certainly in the future, I'll attempt to rein it in a bit by connecting the asides to a more relevant plot point.

I'm glad to see the deadpanning of the other jokes DID work, so it leads me to believe it's just about how many degrees away from the actual action it is.

Good feedback, so thanks very much!

As for juggling tone, it's always a risky move for me. But I always like to try anyway. Stories with mixed tones is something that we're certainly not taught to do, but I like to see what can mesh with other things! It's challenging and fun. Payoff's a bitch though, eh? :twistnerd:

Thanks for the comment, man.

Loved the story, but I was expecting something happy; not a semi-thriller! :fluttercry:

4029915
Why do people keep saying this? ;_;

Did I really write it that scary? ;_;

I'm sorry! ;____;

4015851 Then one of the arrows came to life and implanted itself in your knee...

:trollestia:

4034555 Oh come you, you set yourself up for it!

If only you'd used a crossbow....

:trollestia:

*reads DannyJ's comment...feels conflicted...shrugs it off*

“Yeah, and you’re not Rarity, so that isn’t going to work on me, Twi!” Spike stood firm.

“Oh, come on! Use your imagination!”

Dude, why'd ya stop there? I liked where that was going...

“Look, Twilight, you don’t want it to be a ghost, right? Well, I don’t really like that idea either. And Fluttershy doesn’t like anything.”

Error. There's no indication that Spike is the one speaking.

A small, tiny blob of pink sat on top of Spike, like a dim light bulb that was about to break at any moment.

Oh, ha ha. It appears Spike and Fluttershy got their brain-glowers switched.

Fun story, pretty spooky. I was pleased with the results of Twilight's Detect Magic spell. It was a neat reminder that Spike has a brand of magic unique to his species.

Somehow I failed to follow you last time. :rainbowderp: It's a good thing I happened to swing by Hoopy's page, or I might have been forever and always cursed to wonder where you'd gone! :twilightoops:

...Or more likely I'd've noticed when I next went to read one of your pieces. Still, I'm glad to have that issue fixed. :twilightblush:

Anyhow, great job, excellent work, best movie of the year, and all that... I've read so many good pieces recently that I'm starting to have trouble writing unique praises for each, but that doesn't mean you don't merit them. Maybe I could commission someone to write some original comments for me to think up...

4035062
I'm afraid I must quibble, nay, even quarrel with this opinion. I'm full certain that though Kitsune be crafty as a fox, no matter the phrasing used you'd find a target to shoot for, and would be on the trail to it like a hound.

4039001
Oh hey! It's you again! Hi there ^_^
Thanks for the follow, mate. Really. Much appreciated, and I'm glad you're still somehow managing to enjoy these little things I do, haha!
In any case, welcome! Welcome. Please take a complimentary hat and a sandwich cake. You don't have to write anything special or unique for me; a thumbs up and a small note saying you enjoyed it is FAR more than I could ask for. :twistnerd:

Yey~

4035062

I'm afraid I must quibble, nay, even quarrel with this opinion. I'm full certain that though Kitsune be crafty as a fox, no matter the phrasing used you'd find a target to shoot for, and would be on the trail to it like a hound.

And that target would happen to be my knee anyway.
Meh. I used to be a writer.

4039718 Maybe if you'd used a mass driver...

No, then I'd make some kind of Babylon 5 joke, likely involving Vorlons.

:trollestia:

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