This story is a sequel to Feeling Pinkie Keen - Extended Cut
Despite setbacks and sabotage, Twilight Sparkle presses on in her search to uncover the history of the Lunar Rebellions. What she finds is something else entirely.
Spike won’t rest until he sees Twilight home safely. The concerns of Ponyville and his colleagues are just another distraction.
Fluttershy just wants to be left alone. The Everfree Forest has other plans.
A mystery drama based on the Season 1 episode Stare Master.
Co-written with Serketry.
Chapters (5)
Well, glad to see the third story in this series already up and running. Again, the exchanges, characterizations and future story set-up are all quite well done. Definite understand why the Lunars would be so annoyed by the thefts (not that Twilight and her friends were taking them any better) as well as the possible reasons for the thefts. And, of course, I can also understand why Twilight might be annoyed by the Lunar guard accusing her friends of the theft. Still appreciated Spike taking the initiative to investigate himself after Twilight turned up missing. And, even with Twilight taking the time to get the right gear and back-up, I STILL have a very bad feeling about what could have happened to them. Still appreciated the explanation as to the Timberwolves.
All and all, I am definitely looking forward to more of this, even if I am currently in "Hoping for the best and fearing the worst" mode (which is most likely your intention).
Very nice to see this. Was just experiencing post-story depression. And this perfect heist - as well as a lot of the events in the last story - seems to depend upon someone - or some thing - being undetectable. Well, the last story did showcase that there's such magic around...
>Abyssinian Leather
I hope it's the styling, but it is Spoiled.
10885418
Indeed. That gal could give lessons to CLASSIC Cruella. Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but still it IS fifty-fifty on whether or not it was made BY Abyssinians or OUT OF Abyssinians (or worse, BOTH).
Hey there. Thanks very much for getting the next chapter up. Again, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all quite well done. Definitely understand the frustrations concerning how Spike AND the Lunar Guards' investigations having so little progress so far. But I DID really like Spike and Rarity BOTH flat out explaining the flaw in the logic of the guards who briefly accused them. And, yeah, Spike has a point about how they might need to do some more outside the box thinking to thwart the thieves (even if it WAS primarily motivated by having more resources free to help with the search for Twilight). And, yeah, also feeling for Fluttershy concerning how some of her animals were killed. At least Applejack is willing to lend a hoof. Of course, I have a hunch that, somehow, all the investigations are going to ended up tying together, but I'll admit that I could be wrong. And the extremely subtle foreshadowing concerning the Abyssinians (with Spoiled wearing some of their leather products) was also well done.
VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.
10885418
You know, when I wrote that, the idea that it was anything but the style had not occurred to me, but now that you bring it up.... yeah, 50/50.
I Wonder if the Cockatrice belongs to the thief's or if its just a random animal from the forest like in the show.
10885920
Admiral, please. The answer is 'yes.'
REALLY good job on this latest chapter. Again, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. I could definitely understand both Filthy Rich AND the Guards' points (though the Guards a bit more so [even if I DID like the detail of Filthy's concern for Diamond and the REAL reason Marigold knew Diamond's name]) - though, even if Filthy himself isn't involved in these thefts, SPOILED could be (without Filthy knowing it, of course). I also liked Spike's recap on what they found out about the most recent corpse (and, yeah, this "Shutterfly" definitely sounds like the sort of mare who got mixed up in something underhanded and MIGHT have gotten double-crossed by somebody even nastier than she was [though, for now, that's just a theory]). Also liked the bit about Spike's last name from Luna's report. In addition, Applejack's reflections on Sgt. Leafspring and her usual policy of only accepting help from family was another good note, as was the interaction with Apple Bloom. And, yeah, Spike's concern for Twilight is definitely obvious AND appreciated (though the argument with Marigold about how Spike could have called in Celestia and Shining Armor at any moment made some good points on both sides). In addition the subtle foreshadowing for Blueblood and the playful jab at the Equestria Daily site were also a good detail.
At any rate, very certainly looking forward to more of this.
All I can say is thanks immensely for getting the next chapter up. I really appreciate you going to the effort. Again, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all rather well done. I really appreciate the stuff about Spike talking to Rarity about possible help (especially with the notes about the shape of Spike's comic book collection and his understandable frustration concerning the lack of luck in finding Twilight and having to break the bad news to Celestia and Shining Armor), as well as Rainbow, Applejack and the Lunar Guards continuing the other investigation, the Crusaders showing up just as Fluttershy was trying to study. And, yeah, the kids discussing how weird adults and mid-teenagers can be makes sense for them, but I have a hunch they will eventually understand.
And, yeah, I can see where Spike might be A FEW years too young for Rarity NOW, but how it could develop into something more serious by the time he is an adult by pony standards (though I could certainly see Spike and Rarity eventually playing matchmaker for Ember and Thorax, but that's still a few years down the road. And Gabby definitely deserves somebody good, though, again, quite a bit down the road). Yeah, I can see the points in the author's notes as usual.
Once again, very definitely looking forward to more of this.
I have to say. I love how you have Fluttershy speak to the animals. It gives a sense that she is, in fact talking to them. Not just speaking to it like a pony and somehow the animal understands.
Apple Bloom interrupting Fluttershy talking about druid magic was really rude dang.
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Yeah, although I feel like I kind of cheated with it in a lot of places, adding in concepts that the animal in question actually wouldn't be able to communicate. That's a necessary conceit, though, because watching Fluttershy spend eight hours asking "|scary||this|?", "|scary| |this|?" |scary| |this|?" in front of different objects because chickens have no way of communicating the color green would make for a terribly dull story.
Well, at least they won't have to worry about cutie marks after this.
They'll either have hoofprints, or no flank left to keep them on.
10891774
To this and the Carnifaxy post, the technical term for them is lil' shits. But don't worry, the CMC still have a long ways to grow and mature. Maybe. Hopefully. For all our sakes.
Love some forest ranger Fluttershy; almost makes up for losing best bookhorse for most of this episode. I do wonder why Fluttershy didn't get Dash's help; are they not close friends yet in EC or is she just hard to reach at night? Also laughed at the unhelpful bear being a coward.
10892351
While Fluts and RD are old acquaintances, bordering on friends, this is more the result of Fluts receiving absolutely zero help all week. It's gotten to the point where it's triggering flashbacks to flight camp. Cirrus Cloud's one of many characters we're rescuing from the comics, if only for an obscure passing mention.
10892351
What Serketry said, and there's also a bit of a time factor here in that every minute Fluts delays is another minute(?) that the CMC can wander deeper into the Everfree, making their extrication potentially exponentially more difficult.
If you do it right the yes it is.
It only looks sappy because of all the bozos who do it wrong.
All I can say is excellent job on the final chapter of this story. Definitely appreciate the exchanges, characterizations, (mostly) mental action and general wrap-up in all the right places. Well, the Crusaders DID accidentally help Fluttershy find Twilight and Chamomile and I also appreciated the increased detail in Fluttershy's dialogue with the cockatrice. Yeah, I can understand why Twilight would want to get the Crusaders back to Ponyville, but it IS too bad she didn't leave the locator spells before she left. At least most of the cockatrice's victims have been safely recovered, even if it took quite a while. I could also understand Spike trying to struggle with what to tell Celestia before he saw Twilight arriving. And, at least Twilight is up to speed on the goings on that occurred in the week since she disappeared. The acknowledgement of bringing more than one guard with them for back-up in the future was great too, as was the stuff about increasing the number of emergency contacts in case of something like this happening again. The stuff about the thefts will remain a mystery for now (unfortunately), though I have a hunch we'll get some more leads throughout the season. Twilight also has some good reasoning about thinking the thefts were more than simple greed as was as considering the additional stuff about Shutterfly.
REALLY looking forward to more of this series.
Aww, no 2E FtS/StF surgery?
I love how you made the Stare an extension of druid magic, real clever.
10893427
Yeah, sadly, while the Admiral and I are tabletop veterans, it's a bit more difficult than that: what's the first thing that happens around an injury? Inflammation. Which means all the petrified pieces wouldn't actually fit back together, unless sanded down. Which opens another can of worms: what if you sand off too much? Just how much volume in this chunk is inflamed tissue, and what's actually supposed to be there? What if severed nerve endings retracted, and don't fit together? (Biologist, sorry, this is what I think about for a living).
While this is zooming way off into future ECs, healing magic in this version is Equestria is... strange. It's a fairly easy procedure to stimulate tissue growth and regeneration- at least, when there isn't active magical effects that'd hamper such magic, see Twilight's leg injury- but that then asks the question, what exactly needs to be fixed? Overshooting the injured area would at best produce neoplasms which would then need to be removed, and at worst could produce outright tumors. Instead, diagnostics is the cutting edge field, attempting to divine down to the micrometer which tissues need to be regenerated, and no more. While it's a standard field in modern times, 1000ish years ago diagnostics was very much an art, rather than a science. And one particular unicorn's inherent, instinctive understanding had the potential to propel her into princesshood. But, again, that's for much, much later.
A murder of timbercrows is a terrifying thought
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I wanted to call them "woodpeckers", but Serketry said absolutely not.
Lovely stuff. It’s hard to pull off a mystery where the audience already knows the answer. Creating a second mystery where we don’t is a great way to sustain the tension, to say nothing of watching the whole operation slowly collapse without Twilight or any help from higher up the bureaucracy. Poor Spike.
Also, given Twilight’s original reason for heading out into the Everfree, this raises some very interesting questions about Zecora in this setting…
Continuing to love this series. On to the next installment!
11013923
It's not Zecora she is looking for. This time.
There have been clues placed in the previous two stories about an inside 'source' for things like photos etc. Looking to see if that plays out like I think it will.
Although somecreature or creatures with the ability to see Vortex in non-corporeal state is kinda scary.
My thoughts:
I really hope that Leafspring isn't gone for good.
Another enjoyable story in the Extended Cut universe.
It was nice that the overarching mystery is noted - I did think that there was suspiciously little help from Canterlot - missing project managers connected deeply with a returned Princess (and deeply connected to the Princess that's been around for a long, long time), along with missing guardsponies and a dead pony with a large amount of fraudulent identification would normally get a significant response.
You can has review!
For some reason the idea of Fluttershy of all people headbanging to Metallica has me in absolute stitches. Well done.
11242600
*Metallicorn
So Celestia’s personal student and national hero disappears in Eldritch Murder Forest and that’s too low a priority to call for backup from other regions?
11245743
Yeah, that might just be my single biggest screwup in an EC story- especially since it's completely unnecessary for there to be any shortage of backup at all. Twilight disappeared in the Everfree Forest. They could send in the whole entire Equestrian Army and still have no chance of finding her!
11245743
That, and both Spike and Marigold going through the proper channels got them stonewalled, and by the time they realized they were screwed, Spike had that mental breakdown about reporting directly to Celestia- which he was about to do just as Twilight arrived.
Basically, from a narrative perspective, Twilight was missing just long enough for Fluttershy to have her moment; if Fluts failed, Spike would've contacted Celestia and Shining Armor directly, and, yeah, the entire Royal Guard would've combed the forest, and might've eventually found the cockatrice den. The question then is, would Twilight's statue still be salvageable by the time they found her?
11308093
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
Why hasn't Dash asked for an indepenet review over what happened in flight camp? She knows she's innocent and she wouldn't want to cheat the system and just go "I'm friends with Twilight make those files disapear" but "I'm friends with Twilight, please have another look and a full investigation over what happened"" is complelty fair. Is it wrong that she would only have that oppurtinuty because of her friendship? Yes, but thats not her fault, thats the fault of limited time. She was wronged and trying to get a fair chance to clear her name is not only what she deserves, she has the power to do it.
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I won't go into detail because I haven't come up with all the details yet, but remember that point when Season 2 rolls around.
I love your Everfree Forest, even during Season 1 the forest became far less scary then it was first introduced. In Season 1 the reason for that is the Main Six have becoming heros and no longer regular ponies, and so a dangerous forest is a lot less scary now they have faced Nightmare Moon. Later season the Everfree becomes a joke and something the average pony can walk into, but even in Season 1 the fact that the forest changes from strange, horrible and impossible to simply a dangerous place is dispionting. It makes sense but something is still lost.
EC keeps the Everfree the same as it was when first introduced, impossible and terrifying, and being a hero of the realm doesn't change that.
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I am going to interpret this as the ponies trying to not admit to themselves or Spike that its hopeless, while also making decisions acknoldging the hoplessness. A possible human/pony reaction.
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Sounds good! Can't wait
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I do plan to make the Forest a little more tractable over time- if you consider the fact that nopony had ever gotten to the Castle of the Two Sisters in the intervening millennium, it has already lost most of its teeth thanks to the Lunars' beacons and Twilight's higher-dimensional math. But that's going to be a gradual, years-long process and nopony's going to be building summer homes in there for quite a while.
I agree the Forest was seriously underused in the canon show as a source of undefinable weirdness, though. And guess what- I like writing undefinable weirdness.
Is army grunt a self-coined term?
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Serketry probably knows more about the origins of the term than I do.
As for the difference between the Army and the Guard, it's a little bit of a longer story. The Guard are considered a more exclusive and prestigious equivalent to the Army, so on the very surface the difference is an artificial distinction, but in practice their tactics and doctrine differ somewhat. The Army focuses on clearing and holding large areas, and handles a large number of logistical functions; while the Guard is more mobile and able to assault small, well-defended points, but not as good at sitting down and holding them. That would seem to make the Army a better choice for securing the Everfree Expedition, but then of course there's the political dimension to consider: Twilight trusts Shining Armor a lot more than she trusts his Army counterpart, Field Marshal Steel Sonnet.
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Thanks!
11318889
Grunt is a Vietnam-era term for low-ranking infantry. The guys who did the grunt work, fighting at the front, patrolling hostile villages, getting shot at, etc. Simple as that.
11319324
Is it self-coined? It seems to be very insulting