Introspection
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“I, Pinkie Pie,
am a loser.”
There, I said it. Are you happy?
Whoever you are?
Wherever you are?
I hope you’re happy.
I just want you to be happy.
All of you.
What a mess
this dame is.
Sittin’ there,
Mopin’ at a party.
Her own party.
Can’t even have
any fun.
Won’t even take
any cake.
What kinda scum
does this to a gal?
Ups and leaves her
split like a flint?
“What’s that, Rocky?
Did you say something?”
“I said you ain’t a loser, Pinkie.
There ain’t anything wrong with youse.
It’s them that’s wrong.”
“Them?”
“Zem.”
And zat eez all
Madame Le Flour
will say of zem
in polite company.
“Them.”
Your old friends.
The ones you used to have.
Toots, wake up
and smell the pumice.
‘Fore it pummels ya.
They left ya.
Tossed by the wayside.
How clear
do I gotta make that?
What do I gotta say
to convince youse
that they were never
no good in the first place?
Ain’t my name Rocky,
or ain’t it?
Trust me.
“I trust you, Rocky.”
No. I don’t trust him.
He’s a plenty good friend.
The best stack of rocks
I’ll ever find.
But my other friends
were better.
I liked them more.
I want them to say
I’m not a loser.
“I trust you, Rocky.
But my parties aren’t...
They’re not good enough...”
Not anymore.
Not for them.
“Says who?
"Says who, huh?
Tell me.
Take a load off.
Rocky’s here.”
Indeed,
as well as zee Madame.
She eez here also.
We are here for you,
Miz Pinkie Pie.
“So tell me, toots:
Says who?”
“Says them.”
“And what of zem?
Zees party eez good.
I like zees party.
Does my word
not count
for somezing too,
eh?”
“It does,
Your words mean
a lot to me.
It’s just
they don’t like my
parties.
And their words mean
a lot too.”
Again with the ponies.
Again with the ponies!
Dame gives me a headache.
Have some punch,
ya crazy broad.
It’s a party.
Act like it.
“I want them to,
y’know,
to like me again.
Like they did before.”
“I’m your best friend now.
You don’t need nuffin’
and nopony else.”
“I guess...”
“But surely you jest,
sir Rocky.
Eet eez I
who am her
best friend now.”
“So I’m your best friend,
ignorin’ Biscuits there.”
Cheeky rockhead!
Zee nerve!
Zee stony nerve!
Why do I not leap
from my seat
and topple him?
Eet eez beyond me.
Eef Miz Pie could just
reach me over and
knock zee rock zhere...
Ah, zhank you, Miz Pie.
for doing zat for me.
You are a true friend.
I spit on zee rock!
“And zat eez
Madame Le Flour
to you!”
Ow, my head.
Don’t worry, Pinkie.
Know you didn’t mean
nuffin’ by it.
The sack, though...
"I'll call ya Biscuits.
Like what you're gonna be
when I’m through with youse.”
“Outrage!”
“Guys, guys.
Let’s not fight
over me.”
I try to stop them.
Put them on opposite
sides of the table.
Build Rocky back up.
Give Madame Le Flour
a look.
“I don’t want to lose
any more friends.”
Oh, zat will not happen.
“We will not leave you.
We love you, Pinkie.”
“Yeah, I ain’t goin’ nowheres.”
Maybe the sack might.
But not ol' Rocky.
Twilight Sparkle,
and Rainbow Dash,
and Applejack,
and Fluttershy,
and Rarity...
They’d said that too.
They’d said
they wouldn’t leave me.
Not for anything.
“I’ve been told that
before...”
“But we mean it.”
“Yes, yes!”
“Not like those others.”
“No, not like zem.”
“How do I know that?”
“It’s simple, doll.
We like ya.
They don’t.
Who else do ya got?
Who else do we got?
Look at me:
I’m rocks.
Where am I gonna
run off to?”
“Since you
put it like that,
I guess...”
I swear,
this mare
needs some sense
pounded inta her.
What do I need?
A sign?
Hmph!
Zee rock, with hees,
how you say?
Bluntness.
Eet eez no way to treat
a delicate flower
like Miz Pinkie.
“Darling, relax.
We are going nowhere.
We owe everyzing
to you!
And you alone!
As well as
zees magnifique party!
No?”
“You really,
really,
think it’s great?”
“Better.”
“Certainement!
Een fact, might I
sample a slice
of zat no-doubt
sumptuous cake?”
Oh, of course,
Madame Le Flour.
Anything for you.
Best friends do these
things for each other.
Don’t they?
“Have as much
as you’d like.
My other friends...
My used-to-be friends...
They aren’t going to
want it.
They’re not coming
to this party
anyway...”
Bravo,
applause.
Girl gets it at last.
"You don’t need them, toots.
You don’t need any of them.
Not to have
a good time.
This is a party.
You gotta live it up."
Can’t weigh yourself down,
with all these regrets.
Not when you got
new friends like us.
Better friends.
Like us.
“Oh, I am so pur-roud
of you,
Miz Pinkie!
You are finally
learning to let go!”
“Letting go?
Well, no.
I didn’t mean it
like that.”
“C’mon, Pinkie.
Ya got it in ya to drop ‘em.
Drop ‘em.”
Drop ‘em.
Drop ‘em like a sacka flour.
Ya got it in ya.
What if I
don’t want to—
don’t want to
let go?
“Eet really eez
for zee best.
Zey were not
treating you...”
Maybe
my old friends
don’t like me
anymore...
Miz Pinkie,
are you leestening?
Leesten to us.
We know
what eez best.
To ease your pain.
Eef only
you would leesten.
“Dearie?”
But can’t I
still like them?
Can’t I?
Can’t I?
I don’t know...
I want to.
They aren’t—
They weren’t
so bad.
“I think
we’re losin’ her,
Biscuits.”
“So eet seems.”
“Maybe we might
need
some back-up.”
“I zuppose...
you are correct.”
Ah! A boor zee rock eez.
And yet,
not as dumb as zee brick.
Do not worry,
Miz Pinkie.
We shall help.
Just can’t stand it...
Why do they
hate me
and my parties?
What did I do?
What could I
have fixed?
Done better?
“Miz Pinkie!”
I don’t know
what
I can do
to do better...
“Miz Pinkie!”
“Hey!”
Oh!
Rocky.
Madame Le Flour.
I’m
so sorry.
I should have
been listening.
I should have—
should have...
“Listen:
me and Biscuits
have been talkin’ it
over...”
“And we
zeenk zees party...”
“...Is bad?”
Oh for the love of—!
You’re killin’ me here!
Don’t you get it?
The parties
were never the problem.
You
were never the problem.
It was them.
It was always them!
We’ll get you
straight yet, toots.
“Non! We zeenk
zees party,
eez most wonderful.”
“Thank you,
I guess...”
“But perhaps,
more friends...?
To celebrate
zees occasion?
Gummy’s after-birzhday
is only once a year,
you know.”
“Friends?
I don’t have
all that many
more friends...”
Not since
I lost
all of mine.
I still have...
No, wait.
No I don't...
“I know a guy.
A good guy.
Tall, dark,
and turnip.
You’ll love him.”
“And Sir Lintalot!
He eez
zee most perfect guest.
So suave!
So chivalrous!”
“I guess
it couldn’t hurt.”
“That’s the spirit!”
“Oui, oui!”
“I can go
and get them
if you want.
I’ve got some
invitations left.”
Invitations
for my old friends.
For Twilight
and Dashie
and all the rest.
But maybe...
maybe I do
need some new friends.
Couldn’t hurt?
But—
“You promise
you’ll stay here,
right?
“You won’t
go anywhere?”
“Ain’t got no
place to go.”
“On my life,
Miz Pinkie.
We shall
stay put.
“Worry not,
Miz Pinkie.
We will do
all we can
to help make
zees party grand
for you.”
“And only you, toots.”
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This party
looks like it might
be a good party.
Maybe a great one.
And with
Mr. Turnip,
And Sir Lintalot,
And with
the party hats...
Maybe now
it’ll be the party
my friends deserve.
Maybe.
Maybe Maybe Maybe
Maybe Maybe Maybe Maybe
Maybe Maybe Maybe
But now to be
the best party host
I can be
so my new friends
won’t want to leave.
Like all the ponies did.
Smiles and punch
all around.
They settle in
on their stools:
Rocky,
and Madame Le Flour,
and Mr. Turnip,
and Sir Lintalot,
and Gummy.
They look...
happy.
They look happy.
To be here.
At my party.
“Thank you all
so much for coming
to this after-birthday party!
“It means so much
to Gummy...”
And it means
so much
to me.
And me.
And me.
It’s so good
to have
friends
again.
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This one's an old, old story from a year back or so, when I was all fascinated by Party of One. Posting it now 'cause why not?
Thinking back on things, I was probably on some unfortunate medication when I wrote this.
Hope you guys enjoy it all the same.
I heartily approve.
Lovely.
:3
Obselescence you're just full of awesome!
Dark, twisted, and a very good look into her mind.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I liked it.
Very readable love-child compilation of poetry and story. The way Pinkie's mind is fixated, trying to rationalize the same truth again and again from different angles until she gets a different answer, it feels very genuine to her personality type.
Obs on too many drugs; Pinkie not on enough.
3564624
In retrospect, recovering from surgical work has probably been responsible for a lot of my strangest fics.
"The Most Autistic Thing I've Ever Read." - Poultron
3564745
Poultron knows I love him too.
Oh boy, a new fic, No-Beard!
Cutely deceptive story art is deceptive.
I've read a couple of stories that use this type of writing, its always made me want to try it out for myself.
Excellent story though, great job on writing Madame Le Flour
(I would assume she would sound something like that.
DJRD
...Words...fail...me...
CUPCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!
...I have one thing to say to you...
How the hell did you right-align your text?!
*Ahem* Also, nice story. Just a little glimpse into Pinkie's growing psychosis. Nothing too big to worry about here. It's not like she's gonna go over the deep end, murder Rainbow Dash, and make cupcakes out of her that she'll feed to her friends one day. ALL IS GOOD HERE!
3565309
There's a tag implemented for right aligned text now, which doesn't show up in the chapter editor, but functions all the same. (right)(/right), with the parenthesis replaced by square brackets, of course.
3565325
I tried that once... didn't work. Must be a recent implement. Cool story brah!
I'll be honest here; I've never seen anyone use that kind of format for a story, so this was a real treat, even if it was a bit hard to understand at first.
The story itself was pretty interesting... and believable. This could have been a legit conversation among Pinkie and her "new friends". I wish that someone could squeeze this into the episode, so that I could be satisfied. Heck, get Hasbro to do it themselves, and I'll be elated! Though, that's kind of too ambitious...
I've heard great things about you, Obselescence, and something tells me that they weren't false.
~ Unstable Imagination
3565656
Haha, well, dunno where you'd have heard anything like that about me, but it's very flattering all the same. Thanks!
3565325
Fascinating.
I think this was both great and original. Well done, sir/ma'am.
I read Rocky's parts in narrator's voice from Bastion.
Obselesclaus
And here we have
A normal story
Nothing special.
Nothing special?
Zis eez a magnifique example
Of true poetic verse!
Of course, of course,
How could I mistake
The Bearded One's words
Are far too great.
Iz true, iz true! A work of art
Delightful and very zmart!
Our dear Obs, zee words ov gold!
Zee him write stories untold!
So yes, It's true I liked the piece
The emotions that His words release
A downvote would just be uncouth
Liked and faved, ain't that the truth!
________________________________
just a little something you inspired. enjoy.
Wow. I love the format of this deceptively dark story. Mad props for originality.
Exquisite. The sense of Pinkie's insecurity, her despair, the slow fracturing of her mind, all magnificently done. The girl defines herself by her ability to party, and when that ability is put into question, she finds herself in the midst of an existential crisis, something she is simply not equipped to handle.
So, out come the imaginary friends, and you can't be friends with something. Only with someone. So they need a little free agency. And once they get it, they're going to fight to keep it.
A fantastic look into the mind of poor, poor Pinkamena. Thank you for it.
Damn. Not what I was expecting from this, but I like it. I have to say, the title's clever as fuck.
3560439
Well, you have a good ratio going here!
I finally decided to sit down and read this thing. I have to say, I am impressed. This is quite artistic. And the ending was rather interesting as well. I mean, overall, it was interesting, and you sure have outdone yourself with this.
Also, drugs are the greatest writing inspirators.
This was a great story. I liked it a lot.
It did hurt a lot to read though.
It was interesting to have split views, but it would hurt a lot less to read if the personas were different colors or fonts.
I do realize the effort that went into it.
I read this in Rainbow Dash colors. Bad idea
(P.S The facehoof is the closest emote i could find that reminded me of having a headache. besides this
I shall read this on my free time!
I like this...it's nice. Not big or flashy, but still nice.
3560439
Okay, sir, I am here to give some light feedback on this story of yours. Thank Dancer for telling me to give it a shot.
This story is unique. I've never read anything like it. It's just so difficult to assess it by traditional reviewing methods. There is no scene. There is hardly any sort of structure. So many conventions of writing have been shattered that I just plain don't know how to react. Congratulations on filling my head with confusion. But that's not what you want to hear, no? What you want to know is what I think. Well, apart from the confusion, I honestly like this story. You win the Kalash93 seal of approval.
This is far from the best story I've ever read, but it's one of the most interesting and engaging. This piece really would need a top quality dramatic reading done by a group of people in order to be properly appreciated. Admittedly, I don't read all that many fics, despite being an active writer, community member, and WRITE group reviewer. However, out of all the ones I've seen in 2013, this one belongs in the top 5 (bugger me if I can remember names), not because it's the best written, but because it's the most interesting story. Okay, admittedly perhaps I'm feeling a little bit generous towards psychological strangeness, because I beat Spec Ops: The Line, yesterday.
This is one of those stories which should be read. And not only should it be read, it should be analyzed. You've written the single most interesting character study I've ever seen. Most fics which are dedicated canon character studies, bore me. Either that, or they only come to conclusions I'd already established long ago. And they never make me think. They never say anything new or meaningful. Nothing is ever done in a new way. Nothing ever makes me reinterpret a character in a new way. There are exceptions, such as Every Little Bit, by The Descendant, but those are the rare standouts. Be pleased, for this is one of those character studies which I actually like. Why? Because it made me reevaluate my entire outlook on a character. Prior to this fic, my reaction to seeing Pinkamena was to roll my eyes and grumble under my breath about another derivative fic written by a hack trying to be edgy by putting in a character who seemed to exist just because the fandom had an appetite for gore and bondage. Well, I now have a new understanding and appreciation for Pinkamena, at least when she's written well.
Let me say why this story works. This story works, in spite of it violating almost every single convention of storywriting, because you went all the way in subverting convention for the art. You were decisive, meaning that the reader has no choice but to plunge right into the strange narrative you've written. And the way you've written it is indeed fascinating. It's a conversation, but the different speakers are denoted based on where their speech is located on the page. It's intimate, almost troublingly so. It's like the reader is being addressed directly by the characters. I really identified with Pinkie Pie. If anyone has ever felt snubbed or excluded, then they are going to really feel for Pinkie in this story. You've written a mix between dialogue and poetry. It's beautiful and really engaging. The story flows very well.
However, your story does have flaws. The interesting design of the story is what I would call too clever. After a while, I forgot who was whom. All I remembered was that Pinkie was on the left, and Madame LeFlour was the one with the funky, phonetic faux-French accent. The problem was that the construction ultimately caused it all to melt into one mess where I forgot who was speaking and to whom. As invested as I was, by the 700 word mark, it was melting into a puddle of good, and by 1200 words, I was fighting back the urge to skim. Perhaps it could have done with 300-500 fewer words, but you're a better wordsmith than I am. Perhaps I just didn't have the proper attention span or mindset when I came in, but that's just a personal note. The longer length definitely paid off when the ending came around, which makes the word slurry much more forgivable.
Overall, very well done. It's perhaps not a fantastic story, but it's unmatched as a very intimate and fascinating character study. 8/10 flutteryays.
I love this!
The fact that there's no scene, no imagery, makes it all the darker and insane-feeling. I just imagined darkness with voices. And it was perfect. I could hear the voices so clearly, and feel Pinkie's crazy.
Well done.
http://www.therightsphere.com/wp-content/uploads/slowclap.gif
3568798 There's nine flutteryays there.
I must say I really enjoyed this. Well done and carry on. I award you 5/5 Pinkies
3567888 I ALWAYS read in rainbow dash colors!
Well, that was creepy.
Huh...definitely different...I like it. It's an interesting take on Pinkie's descent into madness. Nice job. Plus, the idea for seperating the text into the three columns was brilliant.
I like this! The stark, dialogue-only approach works for providing a deeper look into Pinkie's deteriorating state in "Party of One." I was surprised to see her insecure about losing her friends again as recently as "Wonderbolt Academy." Makes me wonder if they have more places they want to go with that aspect of her character in the 4th season.
...
...do I dare, read this story?
...I am unsure...
...
ah fuck it.
GERONIMO
Edit: Well, just finished reading.
You know what's funny?
You don't need monsters, or scary-looking things to make a fic or any other piece of work scary.
What's truly scary is what's inside our own heads, that's where the true horror lies.
Nicely done fic. You've got a like and a fave.
This is something that perhaps only a nitpicky few among typographers and grammarians will care at all about, but just in case you think it has any importance, I'd like to point out that a proper apostrophe should only ever be a closing single quotation mark (’), not an opening one (‘).
This was a very different and unique story. I liked it.
At the recommendations of others in the group...
I'm adding this to Twilight's Library!
Congratulations.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3579669
Where is the ribbon?
3582135
Quiet you.
Right here:
24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png
Happy?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3560439 Whatever meds they were, if they resulted in this, surely they couldn't have been all bad?