• Member Since 22nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 27th, 2014

chromewasp


T
Source

Supervillains are always hunting for mystical ancient artifacts. I can back that up--I worked for one.

Emphasis on "worked." We were probing yet another long-abandoned underground city when my employer finally found the fabled Sphere of Meganacus...only to find it wasn't exactly friendly to humans. Now my boss, my best friend, and my worst enemy are all tiny sentient horses. Yes, I really just said that.

Did I mention they're a lot younger, now, too? God, I need a drink. I hate babysitting operations.

Set in the same universe as "Someone Came With Her."

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 273 )

Liked and faved. :raritydespair:

I am just loving this. Pure gold.

Beyond a few typos, very well written. It oozes style and all of the characters are well-defined and stand out from each other (or at least, they did; not sure what they'll be like now that it seems as if the machine stripped them of their defining personality traits).

>"You're quite a pain in the ass," muttered Slayde.
Not that he would mind a more literal form of that, I imagine.

The setting looks kind of like Dr. Horrible without the female love interest and with 300% more gayness. The characters and the narrator's descriptions of them are solidly funny even if they don't make me roll on the floor with laughter. Will follow.

If this is set in the same universe as SCWH, will there be an explanation of how the whole ancient magitek civilization thing relates to Equestria? Or maybe even interaction with actual Equestria?

"Mishmillaponvi," Slayde chanted softly. "Ayhvantchu kome inncydde reianbyouwva duayiesh..."

denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2604-Luna_saw_what_you_did_there.jpg

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Thanks, all!

3438072
I know you don't mince words, so your review is quite encouraging. And rest assured, the question as to whether or not their personalities changed has a much more complicated answer than what the narrator initially thinks. I'm no fan of mindwipe regression, I'll say that much.
3438274
I've never actually seen Dr. Horrible, but looking through its description now, I can see some resemblance.

As for your question about how it will cross over with Someone Came With Her, it's hard for me to explain without spoilers. But I'm thinking of tentatively titling this shared setting as "What We Left Behind."

3438274
Also, why the focus on Slayde's incantation? Are you trying to imply it was a ribald reference of some sort?

Sheesh, people and their dirty minds these days.

3438448
Good to hear. Looking forward to what comes next.
Oh, I mince words, and pulverize them, then chew them up and spit them back out.

3438475
I just noticed it too DX

Tracking out of curiosity.

Хм. The impudent artful sphere conducts them in a place where it will have a possibility to finish the dirty deed. Cleverly.

The interesting story. I will see to it.

I hope the author will write at least under one chapter in a week.

I laughed my ass off. Favorite and a follow earned, good sir.
Please proceed to post next chapter. Power levels critical

This is WONDERFUL.

It's all VERY realistic, if you disregard the super-machine-thing.

+Fav
+Like
+Hope for more chapters

3438903
What are you talking about? Magitek machines are very realistic. They're pretty easy to come by on Ebay, in fact.
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You laughed your ass off? Shit, man...did you manage to put it back on?
3438744
Thanks! I'll do what I can to be punctual about the updates.
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Gracias.

3439204
It took a ton of duct tape and superglue, but yes. I succeeded in reattaching it. Both cheeks.

3439327
Always preferred JB Weld, myself. That, or Gorilla Glue.

I like it, another!

Seriously, it's might be a really food story!

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Gorilla glue was very reliable in this situation, though the right side kept slipping a bit.
Okay, that's as inappropriate as I'm going with this joke. Keep up the good work.

3439379
A really food story, you say? Come to think of it, the protagonist would be pretty hungry by now. Maybe in the next chapter, he could eat Slayde?

*dodges rotten tomatoes*

Sorry man, just couldn't resist that one.

3438475 The incantation sounds phonetically like the phrase "I want to come inside Rainbow Dash." all garbled up.

Not bad. I want to see where this goes.

"Confirmation...required: you wish for you and the other three evacuees...to become normal.

*Backs away slowly* No, no. Nonono. Dude, for the love of everything, say no!

"Of course it fucking is."

...
We're doomed.

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Er...it's all a big coincidence, I swear!
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Ominous, isn't it?

3440249
Thanks!

And thanks again to all of you commenters, for that matter. I was kinda uncertain as to how well this would go over.

Oh hell yeah this is hilarious.

I hope our "hero" gets a better reason to hang onto his old boss and XB9 then just the kindness of his heart, because I can imagine him saying "screw it" to herding three foals around and just carrying Chicago out of there alone.

They're already no longer human, it isn't much of a stretch to turn that into "they died down there" and be done with two people he doesn't like/owe anything to.

If he was a good person, he wouldn't be working for a super villain.

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Keep in mind, though, that the story hasn't actually stated if Slayde is genuinely evil or not. Is he a monster, or just an eccentric loser with too much money and ego for his own good?

So far, the setup looks very promising, and I like our four main characters. My only complaint was that the beginning felt a tad too long, and at times tedious. But I think the main problem with that was that it was establishing the characters.

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Thanks for the critique. I considered the long setup a necessary device in order to establish the dynamic between the principal characters, but I can see where you're coming from.

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Well, the references to death lasers painted a picture of a deranged, desperate, sad man.

Regardless, our hero hasn't exactly proven himself to be gold-hearted himself. He was ready to kill XB9, and only failed to do so because henchmen get shit equipment.

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I thought this intro was a tad too short, if anything. XB9 is practically a blank slate, which means any changes he went through during the transformation (beyond the physical, obviously) will be harder to pick out. I would of preferred more inferred characterization for Chicago and Slayde over the explicit examples we got, but beggars can't be choosers, I suppose.

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"Well, the references to death lasers painted a picture of a deranged, desperate, sad man."

Precisely. But then again, you could call quite a few employers deranged, desperate, and sad...but that doesn't mean that their underlings can't have a moral compass.

There's no question that the protagonist has some moral defects, given his immense cynicism and somewhat mercenary nature. But in that scenario you mentioned, he was acting out of self-defense.

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I'm mostly hoping oracle-thing prevents the group from continuing forward unless all members are present. That lets our hero be all snarky about how he wants to leave Slayde/XB9 behind but can't, which I imagine would open up plenty of avenues for comedy.

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Slayde won't give the protagonist an easy time, I can confirm. And likewise, the protagonist isn't going to let Slayde get away with all his usual tomfoolery.

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... If Slayde is the most intact of the foals, does that mean his personality was most compatible with Equestria?

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Like I mentioned to Darkentrophy, the mental changes brought about by the machine are much more complicated than what the protagonist thinks. Emotional shock has a way of screwing with the way we express ourselves.

This story is just as good reading it a second time :rainbowwild:

Would have thought Slayde would be the one to get turned into a unicorn pony.

So did the sphere transport them to Equestria or are they now going to have to deal those seismic charges that XB9 mentioned?

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The Termite King told me to send you his heartiest thanks!
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I shudder to think what hijinks Slayde would have instigated if he was a unicorn. :raritydespair:

"Ayhvantchu kome inncydde reianbyouwva duayiesh..."

I, uh, I don't suppose that chant has anything to do with this fic?

So this has been what you've been up to...

I approve of this distraction, carry on

3442552
Pfft, purely just your imagination.

3442616
And I approve of your approval! Do you approve of this?

also, im very interested on how you're going to connect the two stories

3442632
Good to hear it! I hope you'll like the way they ultimately tie together.

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What the hell are you doing replying to all my damn comments!?!?!?!
I'm sitting here spamming the refresh button for a reason! Shoo shoo get back to writing foo! :flutterrage:
i am not responsible for any damage fluttershy might cause

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I can't do much story writing at the moment, since I'm posting from my phone. Damn claustrophobic little thing.

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Google drive on mobile
Now work slave!

:fluttershysad: un-un-unless you know, you don't want to... i'm partially okay with that...

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Hehe, I still have that picture lying around here somewhere :rainbowwild:

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By the way, thanks for adding me to the watch list, too. 'Tis an honor.

3442796
I've been reading your stuff before I even started writing.
The pleasure is all mine, my comrade! :yay:

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