• Member Since 18th Apr, 2013
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There was a moral in that, somewhere. (Commissions & Patreon)


You didn't buy Rainbow Dash a Hearts and Hooves day present.

And now she won't let you come inside.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 96 )

dragon pet manservant thing...


Before I read this, I'm going to say that someone has been on 4chan a bit too often. lol

What's that saying? If the title is a pun, better run? Innuendo header, you aught to know better?

No, I think it's 'Never judge a book by it's cover.'



I thought I was judging it by it's title.:duck:
But it is a comedy so I'll give it a chance anyway.


I clabd for jezus upboad if u tru merigan :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

[quote“The other way! Push it the other way!”
You frown in confusion. AJ's barn door doesn't swing that way?
You push instead of pull, and are rewarded by the immediate feeling of the door shifting. But not for long. With a solid thunk, you realise that the wooden crossbar to stop the animals from escaping is still in place, its hard length barely visible from between the crack proffered to you in the doorway.
“Is there a back door I can use?” you shout through the gap.
“What?” the voice of Applejack cries incredulously, the scowl on her face almost audible. “Y'all ain't comin' in mah back door. Jus' a sec, let me just finish myself off and I'll open 'er up for ya.”]Oh sweet Lina the innuendos :rainbowlaugh:

So that just happened.
Great story, mate :rainbowwild:

Aw, don't worry Twilight, he didn't mean it.:facehoof:

I liked this. *faves upvotes*

This is worth reading for the incredible amount of innuendo alone. Freud would have had a field day with this.

Comment posted by writer deleted Feb 16th, 2013


I'm well aware of the meme. As for the Freud comment, it's a joke. Chill.

I normally shy away from word-play. But there is so much of it here, you kind of have to like it! And shame on you for making Twilight cry, she's going to be a little hoarse after all that sobbing.


This could just be called "Innuendo the Fic" -still a fun story that made me laugh a few times.

It made me think of this song.

Follow me to the gay bath house.

Without that , in the title this would something completely different...

This is another reason punctuation matters.

What are "people"?

Comment posted by Mr Pones deleted Feb 15th, 2013

This. This is good.


Sorry about yesterday, I was tired and cranky and you didn't deserve to be snapped at :ajsleepy:.

When someone says 'Freud', they rarely know what they're talking about, and it's usually in the context of having weird feelings for a relative. That's usually what I figure someone means when they mention it offhand like that.

Sorry, sorry, sorry >_<

Comment posted by writer deleted Feb 16th, 2013


Apology accepted. It happens to the best of us.

I probably should have figured you would make this idea a reality. Good show.


Yeah, I bet she will be a bit ho-


...Play him off, Johnny.

This title is a clear warning; Never. Forget. The Commas.

The innuendos, they're everywhere! :pinkiecrazy:

But seriously, awesome story. Really made me laugh.

That twilight insult reminds me of new fluttershy insulting pinkie. Really hit hard.

So. Many. Innuendos!

I love it!

Best story with best pony. I love it. :twilightsmile:
Also loved the innuendos throughout the fic. :rainbowlaugh:

I don't get it, am i a pony or a human?:rainbowhuh:

Would have been loads better without the pointless name-calling session between Anon and Twilight. Unnecessary plot threads that contribute essentially nothing to the story are bad enough, but the fact that you couldn't even be bothered to give it some resolution makes it much worse. Never minding how incredibly cruel it was in and of itself.

It was funny otherwise so this wasn't damning enough to net you a down-vote, but I can't in good conscience up-vote it either. :fluttershysad:


Finally... I can just direct people here for their comma mistakes...

writer #38 · Feb 17th, 2013 · · 2 ·

If you aren't getting this story as it is, I doubt you'd get it no matter what I put in there

For heaven's sake, man, it's a gag short story that's so utterly self-explanatory and tidy that nearly everyone can read it, go 'aahaha! What a stupid bastard this author is, oh well that's my quota for chuckles today' and close it again. NO thought required. It is just for fun. It is not Dostoyevsky or some other pretentious twaddle meant for serious consideration

(Rant incoming)

damning enough to net you a down-vote

I don't know what I'm more annoyed by, your inability to 'get it' where so many people have 'got it' already, the fact that you signed off on a forum comment like it was some sort of letter, the fact that you gave no advice to remedy your imagined problem, the fact that you honestly and earnestly seem to believe I care about upvotes or the fact that you're running around reading dumb, purely for-giggles short stories like this written by idiots like me and taking them as serious attempts at literature

1. The namecalling session was not pointless or unnecessary. You can go back and read it if you'd like, and understand what information about the story came out during that exchange. (Hint: the whereabouts of Rainbow Dash, why you're banging on her door, why you're looking for Dash in the first place)
2. The resolution was: there was no resolution. I even mention Twilight would still hate you. That was the intended resolution

Go pick fights with people who could care less, and have a superb day

Yours sincerely,
--writer, esquire, sir, lady, king of germany, holland and alaska, angry virgin, OA, OBE, MBE, QE2, YOLO, formerly the starting quarterback of the Green Bay packers.

Being a stupid gag story written for shits and giggles isn't an excuse for poor writing decisions. I found this issue to be significant enough to ruin the gag, and I took a few seconds out of my day to point it out. And the only reason I said anything about upvotes/downvotes was because it's sadly all this site offers as far as a way to rate a story's quality. That's all. Sorry you found my honest critique so deeply offensive. :applejackunsure:

(For the record I still disagree with you; the information presented in that scene could have easily been presented another way, and leaving one of anon's girlfriend's best friends hating his guts because he's directly an asshole to her (two if we count the implication of Rarity) is not a resolution.)


2134345 stop signing your comments. we know who posted the comment; you're just wasting time. i went back and reread the part you were talking about, and i see no issue with the conversation. if you have a better way to present the info obtained in the conversation, then state it. to me it just sounds like someone's butt-hurt because twilight was insulted.

this is deserving of all of my love.
just watch out for human/pony parts mixing up. caught me off guard a few times. ex:(hoof, hand)
Otherwise, had me snorting and chucklingg quite a bit. definitely a re-read on bad days.:rainbowkiss:


oh, sorry. Could you point them out for me? I did a quick cntrl+f for 'hoof' and 'hand' but I can't see them.

eheheheh..sorry. upon reread i just had a rough time figuring out its an hie fic. my bad. have a like and fave for apologies.


Oh!... thanks, that's nice of you

it was gonna go in favorites anyway. but yes. my mistake.
also I'm enjoying this "C.G" fellow's monologue between the two of you.
totally love the butthurt twi fan comment. made my day.:rainbowlaugh:

I read this because it sounded classy. :moustache:

I really like this; it's sweet and funny and a little dramatic. But it's just that...I kinda wonder how the heck a relationship between a human and a pony would work. I mean, if the protagonist was a pony, or everyone else was human, that'd be different. I don't know, maybe I'm just stuck in the old ways.

So full of fluffy adorableness :rainbowkiss:.

Two things.

1. 'I want to come inside, Rainbow Dash!' = 'I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash!'
2. We need a sequel telling all about what hapens to Twilight.

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