• Member Since 26th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Cerulean Voice


Father of twin 5yo boys, partner of Arcelia, and so glad to be back.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to These Flowers Never Bloom


Since its reappearance in recent times, the Crystal Empire has become known for its uniquely dazzling beauty, crystal ponies and powerful defense mechanism: the Crystal Heart. But how did such a glorious kingdom come to even exist? In the heart of a frozen, otherwise inhospitable wasteland of all places?

In the aftermath of the first Hearth's Warming Day, harmony between each pony tribe has been newly re-established. Yet upon the dawning of Hearts And Hooves Day a teacher, student, cloud-controller and farmer will accidentally unearth a nefarious plot to destabilise harmony once more. What they discover along the way about their history, their futures and the implications of power will shake the foundations of Equestria.

The price of such power is indeed steep...


Edited by ChromeMyriad, Frederick the Saiyan, and The Albinocorn. Thanks also to TOM for his WRITE review.

Rated teen for mild violence.

Featured on:
Fimfiction.net (06/09/14)
Equestria Daily!
Canterlot's Finest.

This story is 100% approved by Twilight's Library!

Chapters (21)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 214 )

I'm staking my claim here as a promise to read this story soon.

This is great. :twilightsmile: You have likeable OCs, and give some great character to ponies like Clover the Clever that we really don't know much about from the show itself. I really like your use of the changelings too. And your action sequences are exciting. I hope more readers discover this, especially people who like stories set in Equestria's past. Looking forward to where it goes from here. :rainbowdetermined2:

3269296 Aw shucks, thanks for being my greatest fan, it means a lot to know that my stories are appreciated. :yay: it took me quite a while to figure out exactly what to do with the changelings, but I'm pleased you enjoy how they've been incorporated. More changeling action next time!
I'll probably go back through my other story too and re-sub it after fixing the minute issues.
I hope I continue to please :twilightsmile:
Also, thanks for continuing to be an inspiration, story-idea-wise.

Uh oh. Looks like the changelings are making their move. (I wonder if their leader is someone we would recognize...)

I liked the changeling infiltration scenes. They were pretty creepy. And the stuff with Aura and the others last chapter was fun. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by rainbowPOOTIS deleted Oct 27th, 2013

moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Awesome. I like furious Princess Celestia. And the "Crystalline Power Part III" chapter was epic! :twilightsmile:

Whew, haven't been on in a while, so I got behind again. Wowzers, Celly... things be gettin' cray.
Just kidding, but this has got me on the edge of my seat.

3492525
Oh, you just wait...
I'm pleased by your words, in any case :pinkiehappy:

I was starting to wonder after they seemed completely fine at the beginning. It seems Cumulus has encountered some imposters.

Clover, Aura, Cumulus, Cirrus, Valencia. That makes five, which is one short of six. The expected plotline would be for them to become the Bearers of Harmony. However, it seems Luna and Celestia manage just fine wielding the six elements themselves. I guess I'll just have to keep going and see what develops.

"Thank you for your love, my love, but I'm afraid our time together has peaked as of this moment."

Translation:

"Thank you for your love, my love, but I'm afraid our time together has climaxed as of this moment."

Huhehehueheuheh Innuendo.

(Good luck explaining this one to your wife, King Leviticus. You know, assuming you both live.)

I have several things I would like thus far, but I'll said all my praise for the review at the end. For now though, I noticed two little errors.




"What on Earth—"

You mean Equestria?

"Fueled by adrenalin"

adrenaline?

Loving this so far.

"What is a pony? A miserable little pile of hope."

Castlevania reference?

Valencia nodded. “Sure, I can do that. Keep calm and rescue the royals. Yep. Well, shall we get started?”

KEEP CALM and Save the Royals

This is good. Also Luna kicks ass. (speaking of which, why isn't there a Luna emote?)

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart

Grammar score out of 10: 10

Pros:
The story had a wonderful, captivating storyline.
I love the way you blended canon lore with your own.
Your story was written rather smoothly.

Cons:
I was rather confused at the beginning with all the unexplained lore.
The beginning, partly for the reason above, was a bit rocky.
N/A (Error: Third con not found).

Notes: Well, here I am, four hours and one headache later. I'd love to say t was worth the read, so I will. It was worth the read. This is by far my favorite story that works this way (weaving canon lore and non-canon lore). I think it's fair to say you're getting a like and fav (once my tablet finally allows me to fav fics). I noticed what may be the second or third in the entirety of the whopping 62,000+ words, and would like to cover that before finishing.

"Celestia and I once existed in a time before you."

Celestia was speaking here, so shouldn't she say Luna and I?

Good job on this fic. I'm definitely looking forward to more writings from you. :twilightsmile:

3512394
D'awwww. This is a sweet little review, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it so much!
Did you have a read through of the first story, or the appendix listed in the description? Everything you need to know about the lore mentioned at the beginning is in there.
Thanks for pointing out the errors, too, they're fixed now! :yay:

3512470

Appendix? That... may have helped. :twilightblush:

Kind of weird how they kept on seeming to know exactly what to do or expect in this chapter. Perhaps the reason for this will come to light as more about the fruit is revealed.

3517665
In all honesty, I did try to avoid making it look like they were using cheat codes for life, but then I remembered that Aura is supposed to be smart :twilightblush:
Later chapters have them requiring more thought. Consider that challenge the easy one.

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group:Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- Harmony's Chosen Two
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - Dimiourgia's monologue at the start was great, delivering both information and setting a grim tone.
- The way Luna and Celestia are revived, especially with Celestia being forced to brave the mirror pool again, is very interesting and in the latter case, quite poignant.
- While the Element distribution doesn't match up with my own headcanon, it definitely works, especially in the context of this story.
Cons: -Ye Olde Selective Tongue? Why is it that Luna is speaking it and not Celestia? They should be speaking the same dialect. Additionally, she only uses it for one segment of dialogue.
- Pfft.
- Nada.
Notes: You don't make it easy to criticize.

Apart from my stated pros, I also enjoyed the dialogue between the sisters and the real sense of connection I feel from them.

And that's the second chapter!

This is Type Cast, few complaints here, so it's forward ho!

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group:Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- Hurricanes, Holidays and Horticulture.
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - Aura and Clover are adorable, especially Aura.
- Cirrus and Cumulus are a pretty fascinating bunch in their own right, they made for an enjoyable read.
- Valencia's personality is endearing and I look forward to seeing more of her.
Cons: - Not much of one, but the way each 'group' is revealed, one after another, to be going to Neighagara just feels unnatural.
- Blurf?
- Guh?
Notes Section: My consciousness is waning, but I assure you my reviewing is still nearly at the top notch.

Regarding the one con, I'm not really sure what it is that bugs me, perhaps it's the influence of other media on me.

Anyway, chapter three cleared!

This is Type Cast, signing off to get some shut-eye, but I'll be back for the next chapter.

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors.
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- Of Winds and Waterfalls
Grammar Score: 8
Pros: - The interaction of Valencia and Cirrus is a commendable one, it feels very natural and I connected to it easily.
- Changelings!
- Commander Hurricane is large and in charge, very nice.
Cons: - '...as she watch Clover testing the potions...' Right at the end, should be watched.
- 20% Dasher, a Hurricane story (cont. below)
- Two outta three, new high score!
Notes:
On pro2- I like how you've introduced this threat to the story, also, I couldn't help but hear "Changelings!" in Antony C's voice each time their eyes popped up.

On pro3- Is it just me, or is Hurricane terrifyingly similar to The Northern Wall of Briggs, General Armstrong?

On con2- Personally, I like to distance the historical figures in my mind from the Mane Six who portrayed them, and the twenty percent line brought streaks of Dash that I personally feel deprives Hurricane of some uniqueness and doesn't really fit with the character or the general aesthetic of the time period.

As an added note: I imagine Clover as having a grey coat, and Hurricane as having a red coat and dark grey mane, what about you?

Woo! Things are heating up here in chapter four!

This is Type Cast, back in action! See ya next chapter!

3519773
Con 1) Thanks for the catch! Fixed!
Con 2) You have a point, I suppose. I guess I just really wanted to throw that in there somewhere. *shrugs*

WE NEED A SHRUG EMOTE! :raritydespair:

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors.
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- The Weakness of Love
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - Changelings! ...Again!
- Celestia and Luna's Excellent Adventure! (Epic air-guitar time!)
- Outpouring of love- Normally heartwarming, but we're dealing with... Changelings! So it instead becomes creepy foreshadowing.
Cons: - '...much to the exuberance of her centurion...' I'm pretty sure centurion is a single, while this sentence seems to call for a plural.
- You know, I've been wondering for a while now, but I guess Aura's coat is pink? That's something I should have been aware of already...
- Pfffffffffffff.....
Notes:
On pro1- The Changelings! seem to be a legitimate threat, and I'm looking forward to the resolution of their plot.

On pro2- But seriously, the parts with Celly and Lulu are awesome.

On con2- Was it mentioned before? Because I don't remember it being mentioned before.

Now then, it's time to pretend that no purple unicorns were mentioned, nope, not at all, toootally a grey one right there.

My coat-colour headcanons are impervious to assault! (Why do I care so much about this?)

Chyyyyapter five, REVIEWED!

This is Type Cast, Changelings!

3519847
Pro 3) YES! He gets it!
Con 1) Nope, it's definitely singular, I mentioned a total of one-hundred pegasi were involved (not including Hurricane). Remember, there has only been a total of sixty years since the First Ponies. I put the amount of ponies in Equestria at a paltry 500-or-so right now, they just haven't had the time to populate any more extensively.
Con 2) I'm sure I mentioned it at least once, in the earlier chapters somewhere. Maybe. I think? Anyway, it's hardly mentioned because I've been trying to avoid "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome"

ALL YOUR HEAD CANON ARE BELONG TO ME

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors.
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- The Strength of Hate
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - Changelings! And how!
- How devious, Cumulus' reaction points out why Changelings! don't have to mimic perfectly, because if something is wrong with your loved ones, what do you do? Worry about their welfare.
- Epic escape sequence time! From Changelings!
Cons: - Eh.
- Bucket.
- This chapter's awesome.
Notes:
On pro1- Introducing the one weakness of the Changelings! while simultaneously illustrating their strength of numbers to compensate was a brilliant move, it gives us a vulnerable foe while also keeping them formidable.

Since it didn't involve Changelings! in any way, I didn't mention above that I freaking adore Levitatus here.

Also, my colour-headcanon for Starswirl is a brown coat with white mane/tail/beard, and for Platinum is a white coat with dazzlingly golden mane/tail. Why am I telling you this again?

.enod xis retpahC

This is Type Cast, gonna nom a sammich, be back later for the next chapter!

3519866 Well, I meant since a centurion was a person, according to wikipedia 'a professional officer of the Roman Army', and as such wouldn't count as a group name.

And as for that last statement... Would you care to discuss your stance on the matter?:trollestia:

Shameless group promotion: I regret NOTHING!

3519941
I stand corrected. Well then, I thought a centurion was an army of 100 soldiers. That'll learn me for using terminologies without research! :facehoof:

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- Out of the Fire...
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - Changelings! In bed.
- Worms do not usually have that many teeth!
- Clover is being awesome.
Cons: - 'Valencia, we need to get out of here Valencia!'
- That's the most scientifically-minded farmer from ye olden times I've ever seen.
- That's all folks!
Notes:
On pro1: I must say I didn't expect that, it was a pretty surprising reveal at the end there.
On pro2: Holey jiblets that thing was freaky! Vorjhan really outdid himself with this beastie.
On pro3: I can't help but imagine her firing a Super Missile into its maw...

On con1: Clover refers to Valencia by name twice in quick succession right at the beginning of their segment.
On con2: Some of Valencia's dialogue in the Ice Worm Tunnel is weirdly official-sounding considering the time she lives in, and the sentence about her survival instincts feels wooden and unnatural. Most especially I refer to her use of the word 'substance' when referring to the slime on the tunnel walls, since I'm sure most people nowadays even would use words like 'stuff' or 'slime' or somesuch, the word 'substance' in this context just feels incongruous.

Sorry if I seem harsh, I'm a tough customer when it comes to dialogue.

Either way, chapter seven is done, and it was a great one as well.

This is Type Cast, signing off for the weekend! I'll see you upon my return.

3527411
On pro 2) My inspiration came from the dungeon worm in Terraria that guards the entrance to Skeletron's lair. It freaked me out when I first saw it (I was on full health, then suddenly dead wtf)
On pro 3) she gets a little too awesome soon...

Con 1) thanks for the catch!
Con 2) You're absolutely right. I'll rephrase her dialogue.

Glad you like the end, it was supposed to an "awww shiiiiet" moment.

k, just starting to read this now. been a busy week. But my review is on the way. sorry for the delay

Hum-hum, it seems I have myself another big one to read. Tell me, will it be about feels or action? Because I need to know exactly what to keep near me - a bag of chips and cola, or a handkerchief and my psychiatrist

3540550
Definitely chips and Cola. You're in for a fantastic ride! :pinkiehappy:

Confound these bronies, they drive me to write.

Another good chapter, even though you left us off on a cliffhanger (:twilightangry2:)

Not much to say here, I look forward to the next update

Well Cer, this has been one hell of a journey. You finished off this story extremely well in my opinion, and this chapter nicely wraps about everything up. I'm not on to really gush, so that's about all I can say.

I hope your real life stuff gets easier, I'd like to see some more work from you. But beyond that, thanks for this story.

Hope to see you around.
~Killsy


















"Your turn, Sunbutt"
:rainbowlaugh:

I'm about 1/6th done now, hope to be finished by saturday. I like it allot so far. I will say this story is out of my element a bit but its really immersive so far.

"If you continue to oppose me, there will be no dam in existence capable of halting the torrent of my judgment upon you."

Mark my words, I will use this awesome line in real life before I die.

Well - well, I definately like i...

:trollestia:What are you doing here, mortal? Don't you know you have something horrible to read?

Sorry, sorry, your majesty. Please, give me a second.

:trollestia:If you, you lazy bum, don't read at least 3 chapters of that... whatever, I'll pull out your eyes through your urethra.

Ouch... I better be quick. I still need my eyes.

Well, what can I say? I like it so far. This whole 'How the world was created' thingie is really fun to read. Like I'm reading a fairytale. Also, Aura is adorable. Please, tell me that you're not me and you are not going to put her through 9 circles of hell... please?

I'm not that deep in, but I'm already running out of chips. I need more, much more. I'll be in touch, if Celestia doesn't rip my guts out.

3554318
I am not you. In the sense that I shall only put her through eight circles of hell. :pinkiecrazy:
You'd better empty your local grocer of chips, or your local McDonalds, either works :derpytongue2:

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- Hearts of Ice
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - Celestia's retaking the castle, hurrah!
- Intrigue! Luna's left behind some of Our Heroes!
- Changelings! Just out of scene.
Cons: - 'If it could be considered safety.' ...Nobody said it was.
- "Is that a -wince- verbal tick or something?"
- It's per se, not per see. It's also latin, meaning 'taken by itself' roughly, so the phrase-usage was correct, at least.
Notes:
On con1: The above quoted phrase is in the narration, but there was no prior mention of it being safety.

On con2: Ffffffffffff... Cirrus' wince was in quotation marks. Cirrus' sentence was interrupted by -wince- well, that.

Welp, that's me pros'n'cons, here's the end.

This chapter was great, I would describe why it's great, but I just woke up, so you get my thoughts in a new format: Ohnoes they're tired in the winters! Ohmygoodnessy a wormattack! Changelings! What is that cave? GO GO KINDNESS RANGER! What is that fire? Why is everybody in a different part of the cave as Clover? Why is it green?

And that's why this chapter is awesome.

Well now, well now, it's been too long but I'm back, and that's chapter eight: MISSION SUCCESSFULL!

This is Type Cast, signing off!

3568806
Hehe, I like your new format of review. Also, all cons fixed!
Good to have you back, buddy! :yay:

Comment posted by Cerulean Voice deleted Dec 4th, 2013

Finally, I have come back to begin reading this! And so far, it's pretty good. I enjoy all of the alternate names you've given some of the characters, and the narration does serve well to anyone who hasn't read the previous story (like myself). Your grammar is pretty much spot on, and you are very fluid with your story telling and details.

Honestly, I'm having a hard time understanding how it took so long for this to get noticed.

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- Crystalline Power Part One
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - Inside Aura, the true story of a young magic apprentice!
- Worldbuilding! Intrigue! Crystal Berries! All good things.
-...
Cons: - That's it? Not much happened this chapter.
- But then again, no other flaws found.
- :derpytongue2:
Notes:
On pro1: It's interesting to get a look at Aura's thought processes, and her technical-mindedness makes sense within the context of her being a magical apprentice.

On pro2: I'm immediately intrigued by both the crystal cave and the magical boosting qualities of the crystal foodstuffs, so great job on that tantalizing.

Yay! Chapter nine down and I'm looking forward to the next chapter HARD!

This is Type Cast, signing off merrily!

Aha! I knew all that teleporting behind each other stuff smelled like dragon ball Z! That and all that talking/bragging while fighting. And drawing upon reserve after reserve of hidden power.

3587581
I hope this isn't a "bad" thing for you?
I actually took the idea of the Queen moving insanely fast from this section of text in the fic Upheaval: Reckoning:

“I see.” Celestia bent over the piles of weapons neatly stacked next to the dead bodies, then picked out a sword with her magic. The point had been shattered, but the rest of the weapon was still intact. “You have no respect for the mortals, Caro. As such, you do not belong here. I’m going to censure you now.” She grasped the sword with her mouth.
“Really?” Caro said with a chuckle. “I’d be worried if you still had your power, your highness. You used to be the princess of sunlight. Right now, you’re just the princess of ci-!”
Celestia took exactly two steps. Twilight, for some odd reason, felt compelled to count them. Two steps, then leaped. The next thing Twilight knew, Celestia was already standing in front of Caro Artifex, her head low and turned to her left. The sword she was holding was faintly bathed with golden light, which formed a blade-like shape past the sword’s metal, making it appear as a very long sword of radiance.
Twilight shook her head. A second passed before she remembered that she should breathe. The motion should be simple enough to understand. Princess Celestia had leapt towards Caro Artifex and slashed with her sunlight-enhanced sword. The simplicity belied the impressiveness in that move. Her mentor jumped such a great distance with no support from her wings. Not even with a running start. It happened so fast that nopony so much as winced at the killing blow.
Caro Artifex had not moved from her spot. She stared at Celestia, her mouth wide open and her eyes bulging. She looked down towards her chest.
Twilight also looked towards that spot. A clang resounded throughout the throne room as the lower half of Caro’s breastplate struck the floor. On the alicorn’s chest was an enormous cut, a blackened horizontal line that stretched from one shoulder to the other. No blood dripped from the wound. Instead, thin wisps of smoke escaped from it. Behind Caro, an enormous, crescent-shaped cut had sundered the stairs leading to Celestia’s throne.
Celestia spat the sword out. The light faded from the weapon as she let go. “When you get back, tell the Council of Elders that I will do the same to any alicorn who comes here with the same disregard for mortals as you have,” she said.
Bright light burst from Caro Artifex’s wound, her open mouth, and her eyes. She pitched forward, her knees buckling under her. By the time she struck the ground, she resembled nothing more than a burnt-out shell.

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- Infestation
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - Changeling! Cirrus' deception, that last line got an evil grin out of me.
- Levitatus is awesome! Too bad about that second con...
- Things are heating up, I look forward to when they hit a boil.
Cons: - "They were angry at the whole fiasco, and refused to believe that my lack of action was due to personal choice, not my inability to change the situation." ...Shouldn't that be the other way around?
- "I'll announce my sister and I's return and swear our fealty to you. I'm sure you will make a grand leader for the rest of your days, however long they last." It's like you're screaming 'LEVITATUS WILL DIE SOON!' at me with that line...
- Centurion being used as a group name again.
Notes:
Another great chapter, albeit one with a strange flaw (con1), but ne'ertheless.

Chapter ten, reviewed!

This is Type Cast, signing off joyously!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!