Keeper of the Crystal Heart

by Cerulean Voice

Crystalline Power (part three)

I expected something of this nature, but this is something else entirely, Valencia thought as she waited for Cirrus to calm down. One little taste of crystal carrot later, the pegasus had taken off in a frenzy, coughing and spluttering. "Foals. Always foals with their root vegetables," she laughed as Cirrus came back glowing. Evidently, he'd resorted to eating another corn cob to remove the taste from his mouth. To Aura's credit, she had tasted them after thinking logically about the process of elimination and proving her hypothesis correct. She didn't mind them, she just found them neither disgusting nor appealing.

Aura sat on the ground and motioned for the other two to join her. "Okay guys, here's what we know: our foods seem to have an Earth/Wind/Magic cycle going on. I love berries, like carrots and hate corn. Valencia, you love carrots, like corn and hate berries. Cirrus, you love corn, like berries and hate carrots. Each of these fruit and vegetables have granted us race-specific abilities. This can't be a coincidence. I'm sure that somehow, we were meant to end up here together. I know it sounds weird, but it makes a lot of sense.

"There's no way that just one, or even two of us could have gotten as far into this mountain as we have. Even with three or more of us, without at least one pony from each race, it would have been hopeless. If we hadn't been able to get this far in and discover food we could eat, we would still be starving. Probably thinking about the best way to make it through a raging blizzard with that terrible worm on our tails too."

Cirrus caught her glance and nodded. He turned to Valencia, who also nodded. Aura's assessment of their situation did make a lot of sense. "It's strange how everything we've been through in the last two days has led us here: me, crash-landing next to Valencia, Valencia offering to carry me so my brother could leave us and return to help the herd, being ambushed by the changelings..."

He trailed off with a shudder, meeting the eyes of his companions once more. "I never expected my life to have anywhere near this much excitement. Even though I've been battered, bruised, even almost rendered flightless along the way, I wouldn't trade these experiences for anything." Cirrus concluded his miniature speech with a slight blush staining his cornflower cheeks.

Aura took the time to speak for herself. "I have to agree, Cirrus. If I hadn't set out with Clover two days ago to help her with her research, I wouldn't have ever seen Neighagra Falls. I'd never have been kidnapped myself, and I'd definitely never have found myself in this frozen wasteland beyond unicorn borders. Yet this cavern has awed me with its beauty and its fruit. The puzzles were kinda fun too, even though that wind one was pretty dangerous. I still agree, though, while it's been super-scary a lot, and even when I thought I was going to die for sure... it's been a wild ride. One I'll remember all of my life. I'm just glad I had you two and Clover with me."

Aura paused, the telltale sign of suppressed tears betraying her stoic calm. "I-I miss Clover. I really hope she's all right. I don't know what I'd do if... if she—"

"Now don't you worry your pretty little head about your friend, Princess." Valencia stood up and walked over to Aura, offering her a hug. The filly remained upset, but leaned into the embrace anyway. "We saw that shadow of the past carry her away. It was a mighty big pony, with a mighty large horn and wings to boot. I'm willing to wager that she knows some real powerful magic. If Clover's not currently in safe hooves, well... I'll eat nothing but crystal berries for the rest of my days."

Feeling a giggle vibrate through her fur, Valencia smiled and continued, "Clover will be just fine. I promise you'll see her again. Heck, we've survived everything so far haven't we? What a terrible waste it would all be if any of us didn't make it out of this unexpected adventure."

Valencia pushed Aura back out to hooves length to address her once more. "You've proven to be a smart, resourceful little filly. Cirrus has also proven he has the determination to press on with things. There's hope for both of you. You know what the ironic thing about my story is?"

As the foals shook their heads, Valencia chuckled. "This is supposed to be my darned vacation! My family sent me to Neighagra Falls for a holiday so I could forget about work and get some rest! How funny is that?" As she finished, all three of them fell back on the ground, shaking uncontrollably from laughter. The glee in their voices reverberated around the cavern, echoing off the glistening walls. Valencia regained her composure with a final chuckle. "It's a dangerous business, going out your door, isn't it?"

A sudden rumble brought the trio back to their senses, their wits about them. An enormous boulder shifted near the end wall, revealing three differently shaped, positioned and coloured gaps.

The first space was a large, orange cutout within the rock, accessible from the ground. An orange, square-shaped crystal jutted out from the rear of the hole.

The second space was carved slightly up into the wall, about ten hoof lengths above the ground. It was accessible only through a narrow, winding pink tunnel that wound its way up to the small niche, which featured a ruby-red crystal on the outside wall nearby, just barely out of reach.

The third space was located higher up, centered between the first two. It seemed to penetrate deeper into the rock wall than the other two did, decorated in a very light blue. A violet crystal gleamed weakly at its entrance.

Valencia, Cirrus and Aura looked at each other, silent comprehension dawning between them all. They nodded in unison and approached the wall. Valencia stepped inside the orange-tinged hole and touched the orange crystal. Aura shuffled slowly up the narrow pink passage, halted at the open top and reached out to the ruby crystal with her magic. Cirrus flew up to his neat little niche and hoof-bumped his own violet crystal.

Nothing happened.

Aura and Cirrus looked down from their perches to Valencia, as she extricated herself from her own gap. "What's going on with you two?" Aura yelled. "Did you touch your crystals, either of you?"

Cirrus' voice floated up. "Yeah, nothing happened at all. Valencia?"

The mare shook her head. "Nothing doing, young'uns. Mine just lit up and then went dull again right away." Valencia pondered the mystery crystals. "Hmmm... I guess, maybe... Cirrus, Aura, I want you to touch your crystals again. But this time we're all gonna do it together at once."

The foals nodded and returned to their positions. As she moved back into her own hole, Valencia ordered, "On three, yes? One, two, three!"

Each of the crystals glowed simultaneously, resulting in another low rumbling. Exiting their holes, Valencia and Cirrus glanced at the wall between the holes, witnessing a large crack run down it. An opening not unlike the ones they'd entered through began to present itself, then stalled after a small amount of time.

Valencia examined the fissure, frowning. "No way I'll be able to squeeze through that."

"Should we try pressing the crystals again?" Aura called from above.

With a nod, the others returned to their niches. Valencia counted down once more, as all three crystals were struck by either hooves or magic. This time, the absence of a rumble was more noticeable than the presence of one. The fissure did not widen. After more repeated tapping of gems by everypony, the wall remained the same. The gap was too small for even Aura to fit through.

"Well that's just great." Valencia sighed, then took a deep breath. "There must be another way to open this thing! Cirrus, have a look around and see if you can find anymore crystals. Maybe we haven't found 'em all." Cirrus zoomed off in search of the elusive gems, while Valencia sat on her haunches and thought.

Aura—who had stayed up above the others—looked over her own crystal, prodding it with varying forms of magic. Try as she might, no matter what spell she hit the crystal with, the reaction was consistent: a quick, ruby-red flash before it returned to normal. Come on Aura, think! We've activated their power already, the wall cracked open, so what more do we have to do? Aura thought back to the other challenges that they'd faced along the way to their current position.

There has to be something missing. Something we haven't found or done yet. But what? She remembered how her and Valencia had searched the first room. How Cirrus had zoomed around said room also looking. The way he'd found and touched that crystal embedded in the wall. Its brilliant flash upon his touch—

"The crystals!" Surprised by Aura's outburst, Valencia and Cirrus halted their examination of the chamber and cantered over to her. "Cirrus, when you touched that first crystal, it shone so bright that it blinded you for a short time. Same thing with the next, although you covered your eyes, yeah?" As he nodded, Aura smiled. "Yet, when we all touched these crystals, they only gave off a small flash each. Look." She prodded her own nearby ruby crystal, observing the resultant glow. It certainly didn't produce the blindingly bright flash they'd seen before from the others. "Think about it guys. Why aren't these crystals anywhere near as bright as the others?"

A moment passed in silence, before—

"We have to give them more power! Cirrus cried, leaping into the air again. "Let's try touching them all again after we've each eaten some food!" He looked back down to Valencia, raising a hoof, then flew up to meet Aura for a hoof-bump. She giggled and pulled him into a hug instead. Blushing, Cirrus hovered awkwardly in her grip, until she released him four seconds later. "Uh, thanks, Aura. Anyway, I'll bring you back some berries. See you in a minute!"

As Cirrus sped off, Valencia eyed Aura with a curious smirk. Aura caught her gaze and averted her eyes.

Cirrus returned soon after with a few berries, a corn cob and a carrot. "Okay, let's do this. Hope it works..." Cirrus flew into his alcove, cob in hoof. Valencia followed suit, squeezing into her own cut-out section with the carrot stalk already in her mouth. Aura stood at the ready, berries floating before her mouth.

"Everypony ready?"

Affirmation from Cirrus and Valencia, somewhat muffled, signaled their readiness. Aura levitated three berries into her mouth and chewed slowly, her coat taking on its customary, berry-induced pink shine. Valencia's orange glow filled the ground floor below, spreading across the ground around the vicinity where she stood munching on her carrot. Cirrus' blue sheen lit up the cavern, bouncing off the walls as he discarded the empty cob. With all three ponies at the ready, Aura yelled, "On three! One, two, three!"

Three loud chimes rang and an excessively bright kaleidoscope of colour illuminated the chamber. As she shielded her face from the bright assault on her retinas, Valencia felt the Earth move beneath her hooves. The telltale rumble of success greeted each of their ears, the fissure in the wall widening much broader than before. The chamber evacuated its radiance through the new gap, with the network of colours affixing itself to the path.

Enter, pure-hearted ones. The worth of your characters has been proven.

The words were not spoken, but appeared boldly in the minds of each pony. Aura and Cirrus dashed to Valencia's side, eyes wide.

"What was that?" they both asked.

Valencia just shook her head and gazed down the path. "I think we're about to find out. Let's go, you two."

* * * * *

A collective gasp escaped the party as they stepped off the glittering pathway. A colossal chamber lay before them. An enormous, sky-blue pillar reached from floor to ceiling. Two immense statues towered over them, one on each side of the pillar. They depicted two winged and horned ponies, one wearing golden regalia, the other azure regalia. A set of crystal steps led up to a section of the pillar that tapered to a point, from below and above together. Walking up the steps, they noticed that the points converged upon a single, breathtakingly beautiful sight.

A cerulean, crystal heart.

"Wowee, look at that..." breathed Aura as she stared at the gorgeous carving. The heart-shaped crystal floated between the two points, suspended in place by an unseen magic. It shimmered gently, quietly pulsing with unknown power. It seemed to call to Aura, who could feel herself drawn to the mystical object.

You gaze upon the relic that will lead Equestria to a bright and shining future.

The words were louder this time, booming inside Aura's head. Cringing back from the crystal heart, she back up against Cirrus, who draped a wing over her for support. Valencia stared at the crystal.

"Who are you, and just where are you hiding? Show yourself!" she commanded the "voice."

I cannot do that, dear Valencia. I apologise for not being physically present, but I resigned to never return to this world again.

Although Valencia could not tell for certain, the "voice" felt female. It piqued her curiosity, calmed her, yet terrified her at the same time. It felt old and powerful, like she owed it respect, although she had no idea why. "Well, can you at least tell us who you are and how you know my name? And what do you mean by this world, exactly?"

I do not reside in the same realm as you. My plane of existence is separated from your own. That is all I will tell you about that. There are more important matters to attend to. Approach the Crystal Heart, my little ponies.

Valencia, Cirrus and Aura stepped up to the crystal to get a better look. As they did so, Aura caught a sight they had all overlooked. Behind the Crystal Heart stood a unicorn, frozen in stone. Her mouth open, Aura cantered around the Heart and examined the pony. Its head was bowed low, its tail between its legs. What stood out, though, was the teardrop frozen on its cheek. A small crystal tear, exactly the same hue as the Heart, gleamed in juxtaposition to the larger, dull stone body.

"Why is this pony all stone-like, Miss Other-worldly-voice?" she asked.

Before the "voice" could answer, Valencia interrupted. "Cockatrice. I've never seen one, though—and just as well, or I wouldn't be here today at all. Elder pony folk than me from my village told me about it. Supposedly, it's a monster like a cross between a chicken and a snake, that can turn any living creature who makes eye contact with it to stone. It lives in the Everfree Forest, where our family came from back in the day. There's a tale that ponyfolk are told as foals about a unicorn that went missing the day of the Great Evacuation.

"The legend says that the unicorn—named Free Spirit—felt the approaching evil that day and attempted to flee the wood before anypony else but never returned. Nor was he ever heard from again. Those who'd claimed to catch a glimpse of what a cockatrice did to other wildlife while they fled have always blamed it for Free Spirit's disappearance. It may or may not be true; some believe a manticore, or a timberwolf would have been a more likely explanation. The story's supposed to keep us from venturing into that cursed forest, for if a magical unicorn could be turned to stone, what chance would a regular Earth pony stand against one?"

What happened to Free Spirit is most unfortunate, the "voice" declared, cutting Valencia off. But while tragic, that is not the most important issue here. Note the similarities between the tear and the Heart, if you have not already. A being that I created—long before ponykind was ever thought of—found this statue on the edge of the forest. He had caused untold chaos and destruction in times past, respecting no boundaries of life, morality or even reality. Listen now to my tale, for it contains information of upmost importance about this world...

It was on the day of his banishment from the forest that you now call Everfree, also the day of the "Great Evacuation" as you called it, that it happened. The beast found this unicorn, petrified, at the edge of the wood. For the first time, an uncharacteristic emotion overtook his mind: pity. He had lost the closest thing he had ever had to even remotely consider a friend that day. The sight of this sad, lifeless statue really got to him, for the words that Free Spirit uttered pierced their way into the heart I thought he had long forsaken.

Overcome with this new emotion, the one named Vorjhan transported the once-living statue to this very cavern. After constructing the trials that you have successfully completed, he cut out his own heart—which had previously been incapable of positive emotion—and placed it in this very room, leaving it as a shrine. A tribute to the one pony he had ever respected. Yes, young ones, the "voice" affirmed, this is Vorjhan's heart. While he felt respect, pity, sadness and humility for this short time-frame, his true chaotic nature warred within himself. It wanted to know why he should care about anything at all.

Unable to stand the internal conflict, Vorjhan separated himself into two different entities: the uncaring, chaotic form abandoned this place and all memory of Free Spirit and the first pony, vowing to one day return to the world and spread his chaotic ways. The compassionate, caring side was trapped within this heart, containing what limited positive and heartfelt emotion he'd ever felt. It lies dormant now, waiting to transfer untold power to one who would share its nature. Only the purest of hearts could have entered this sealed chamber, he made sure of that.

Strange, that he would devise a way to rejuvenate and protect the world he once cared nothing for. Not unlike how I felt for a while, years ago. I admit, he surprised me with his actions.

* * * * *

As she sat listening, Aura could only gape at the tale. She had not only heard and felt the words, but images had also formed in her mind while they were "spoken." She saw everything. "Um, voice-pony-thing, what does this Crystal Heart do exactly? What is it meant for, and what is this untold power you mentioned?"

The voice chuckled, the musical sound filling the minds of the trio. You, Princess Aura—daughter of the first pony king, Levitatus, and possessor of the purest heart in recent pony history—should be the one to touch the Heart, and discover for yourself.

Nervously, Aura glanced back at Cirrus and Valencia. Cirrus egged her on with an encouraging smile, while Valencia simply nodded, wearing the faintest of concerned frowns. Turning back to the Heart, Aura slowly trotted up to the immaculate carving. Flitting a gaze toward the petrified unicorn, Aura reached out a hoof to the Crystal Heart.

Immediately, the Heart gleamed with the intensity of the sun, illuminating the entire cavern while forcing the ponies to avert their gaze. The chamber exploded in a tumultuous wave of power, every colour of the known light spectrum. The power radiating from the Crystal Heart billowed around Valencia and Cirrus. As the first wave of power washed over them, their coats once again adopted their shiny appearances. A loud rumbling filled the air, the entire mountain undergoing a breathtaking transformation.

A truly colossal fissure snaked all the way along the center of the ceiling and walls. As another wave of power pulsed throughout the area, the fissure split, opening up to reveal the sky above. The moon was still high in the air.

While the blizzard still appeared to rage above them, it failed to intrude upon the radiance still emanating from the Heart. Power continued to flow from it, seemingly unstoppable. Much like a dome opening up, the walls and ceiling retracted and folded down, the resultant rumbling now filling the ears of the three completely.

By Hurricane's hooves, thought Cirrus as he stared in total awe. After eyeing the shifting interior and rainbow lights ricocheting everywhere, Cirrus' eyes fell on Aura. His jaw dropped.

Aura glimmered in the same brilliant pink she had during the trials. Engulfed in the power of the Crystal Heart, she floated, suspended in mid-air. The whites of her eyes overrode her pupils and irises as the Heart fed power into her.

With a final deafening crash, the cavern completed its transformation. No longer were they inside a mountain, trapped and encased by a vicious snowstorm. As the power dissipated and the intense light from the Crystal Heart faded, the ponies observed their new surroundings in complete wonder. The area around the Crystal Heart seemed to lie underneath some tall, crystalline structure. All around them, other crystal structures resembling buildings had grown out of what was, moments before, the walls of the cavern under the mountain. Green grass grew nearby. Crystal corn, apples, carrots, berry bushes and more grew in a field a short distance away.

Everypony continued to stare in wonder at their surroundings, still unsure if their eyes had betrayed them.

Congratulations, ponies, cheered the "voice." What has transpired here today is final, indisputable proof that the Crystal Heart has recognised its true bearer. This heart will radiate its power throughout all of Equestria, filling the land with love, merriment and prosperous feelings. At least, as long as it has a bearer worthy of looking after it, by infusing their own pure spirit into it. The Heart gives, but it must also take. It must always have... a keeper.

The images of a white, rusty-red-maned, winged unicorn and the same mismatched creature that had appeared during the "voice's" speech flooded into Aura's mind. The alicorn and the draconequus both smiled to each other before declaring their next words:

We dub thee—pure-hearted Aura, daughter of Star Swirl and Portia—Keeper of the Crystal Heart and the first Crystal Princess!

* * * * *

Aura sat in pure disbelief, her eyes blank. With a shake of her head, she felt a tingle on either side of her flank. Before she could investigate, she heard a gasp each from Cirrus and Valencia. Distracted, Aura looked over to them where they both stood, mouths agape. "What is it, you two? What happened?"

As she asked, the mare and colt both bowed before her. "I'm serious, what's up?" she pressed.

Cirrus looked up and met her confused gaze. "Aura, your cutie-mark... it's—"

At the word "cutie-mark", Aura whipped her head around excitedly. There on either side of her flank, the spitting image of the Crystal Heart rested; a cerulean heart-shaped jewel surrounded by other purple gems draped around it like a necklace. A warm, tingling feeling crept into Aura's heart with the realisation.

"I become Keeper of a powerful relic, princess of a brand-new realm and I get my cutie mark... all in the same day?" Aura failed abysmally to contain her excitement as she bounded up and down, around in circles. "Yes! Wow! Incredible! Best day ever! Yes!"

While Cirrus looked on, Valencia directed a question to the unseen alicorn. "So, what exactly does all this mean? Aura becomes a full-time guardian of some mystical jewel strong enough to level a mountain, becomes a Crystal Princess... and on top of that, inherits the legacy of the two most powerful creatures to ever exist? Why her? And how did the Heart know that all of us were pure enough to make it through those trials?"

The heart recognised the touch of those throughout the course of the trials. Only ponies pure of heart could have eaten the delicacies within the caverns to gain enhanced strength, speed and magical prowess from them. The alicorn redirected its attention to Aura. Now, Aura, there is something you need to do. Your first act as Crystal Princess: I want you to take the Crystal Tear from the cheek of the petrified pony before you.

Obeying the alicorn, Aura walked over to the unicorn and grasped the tear in her magic. As it hovered before her eyes, it re-shaped itself into a miniature replica of the Crystal Heart.

Now, take the amethysts that adorn the base of the crystal pillar.

One by one, the amethysts in Aura's telekinetic grip re-arranged themselves around the new heart in an identical design to how they were portrayed on her cutie-mark.

Finally, drape it around your neck. This Crystal Pendant shall be your new, permanent identifier as rightful Keeper of the Crystal Heart. It will serve to amplify any feelings of love you display for anypony, as well as protect you from any who might threaten or oppose you.

The Heart around her neck glowed, filling Aura with a warm sense of safety and security.

Your final role in this first act as Princess, is to pour the power of the Heart—through the necklace—into the pony before you.

As Aura obeyed the disembodied alicorn voice one final time, she could only stare in pure wonder. The stone prison encasing the unicorn shattered, revealing a blond-maned, chestnut-coloured stallion. At first, he did not move. Seconds passed, during which Aura put a hoof to her mouth in shock while the unicorn slowly opened his eyes. The amber irises met her own, the first things they'd seen in over twenty years.

Before Free Spirit could register anything more than his own shock, he fainted.

While Valencia and Cirrus examined the newly revived unicorn, Aura took a moment to sit and absorb everything that had happened within the previous fifteen minutes. So much is going on right now. Such a shame there's only Valencia and Cirrus here to witness—

"Miss Alicorn! I have a question for you, if you're still there?" Upon "feeling" an affirming smile in her mind, Aura proceeded. "Do you know what happened to my teacher and friend, Clover the Clever? She was in a magical coma, and I used a spell that showed me an alicorn like yourself carrying her away. At least, I think she was an alicorn. Is she the same as you? And is Clover going to be all right? I really want to see her, and help her if I can." A tear finally escaped her left eye. "I miss her. She's always been there for me."

Your friend is in good care. The alicorn you refer to is one of my very own daughters. Her name is Luna, a very powerful pony. She wields three of the six Elements of Harmony which I created: Kindness, Laughter and Magic. If you wish to contact her, just reach out to her through the pendant you wear. If she is wearing the Tiara of Magic, she will feel your call and should respond. Your friend is in safe hooves, but you should probably still see her. The more love you display to the world and to your friends and family, the stronger your own power—and the power of the Crystal Heart—shall grow.

Aura nodded. Clover is alive! She's going to pull through! While ecstatic at the news, she kept her composure, asking a follow-up question. "Is it safe to leave the Crystal Heart here and visit my friends and family back in Unitopia? I don't want any harm to befall this place."

You need not worry about this new city of yours. It comes in-built with its own powerful protection spell, generated by the love of the keeper. Over time, your subjects will also be able to add to the Heart's power, lessening the burden on your own. Yes, your new Empire will be safe as long as you retain your purity. I have no doubt in your abilities. Go, all of you. Aura, call to Luna. She will come. Now I must take my leave of this world. I know you will all make me proud. Farewell, my little ponies.

Aura, Valencia and Cirrus each "felt" a warm smile from the deity as her presence disappeared.

Aura turned to the others. "Well, here goes nothing." Concentrating hard with her new power, Aura imagined making a link to the one named Luna. Please help me, Luna. Please save Clover.

Comments

[Jioplip]

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Keeper of the Crystal Heart- Crystalline Power (Part troix)
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - HOLYSH- That just happened! Oh my gosh that was AMAZING! All of the things! Great!
- The exposition, I felt, was delivered in a way that felt neither unnatural or like a bad read.
- Vorjhan's own heart is the legendary Crystal Heart... That is amazing and it also makes me headcanon over your alternate universe.
- Aura is the Crystal Princess!
- With great power comes great drawbacks!
- I can easily see how a Keeper could become a being like Sombra! And I'm headcanoning again.
- On a more serious note, the con I had from Crystalline Power deux isn't present here, as it no longer felt like they were talking like each-other were tools.
Cons: - Just how close in age are Aura and Cirrus? Just what is their age? I'd been imagining Aura as CMC-sized and Cirrus as about a teen, is that right?
- Uh...
- Well...
Notes: How am I supposed to find flaws in such a ridiculously excellent chapter!? Interrobang!

This chapter delivered on so many levels: Lore, spectacle, intrigue, plot advancement... I mean, the character's don't get as much opportunity to interact, but you can't fault a single chapter for having a plot-focus.

So yeah, this is most likely going to turn out to be my favourite chapter of Keeper, unless you can somehow top it.

This is Type Cast, signing off!

[Albi]

long before ponykind was ever though of

I think you mean thought.

I'd PM you, but that's really the only thing I found in this chapter.
Anyway, Holy Muffins! The Crystal Heart...! Won't say anything else so i don't spoil it. But.. I did not see that coming.

[PaulAsaran]

Wait, how does Cirrus know they're called changelings? I don't remember them ever getting named in his presence.

Oh, look at them having a tender 'I love you guys even though I just met you two days ago but our experiences have brought us closer' scene. I'd find this much more believable if they'd been at this for, say, a month. Even a week. I mean they don't know anything about one another. Two days from now they might find out something that they can't stand and whoop, so much for friendship! I know that's not what's going to happen because you've made this an Equestria of peace and harmony and friendship and all, and that makes this a lot more forgivable, but it's still there.

"It's a dangerous business, going out your door, isn't it?"

...

Okay, did the door respond to the phrase or their *gag* love? Either way, you talk about contrived. This scene would have been a hell of a lot better if, say, they thought they'd reached a dead end, were doomed and were trying to comfort one another.

Okay, how old are Aura and Cirrus? Seriously, I've been having the impression they were too young to be interested in one another in... well, that way. I know it's just a hug, but the implications are obviously there and intentional.

Enter, pure-hearted ones. The worth of your characters has been proven.

Really? It has? I've seen them prove themselves resourceful, smart and determined. I think 'character' also requires integrity, loyalty, a few other things I won't go into detail about, none of which have been tested in even the slightest way. If solving a bunch of puzzles and saying 'you're my friends' is what accounts for character anyone with an above-average IQ could get in. I get the Crystal Heart is supposed to just 'know,' but that doesn't pass the sniff test for me.

Yes, let's get all expositiony on what a cockatrice is and who Free Spirit was, all of which Valencia just so happens to know by some miraculous coincidence that really doesn't matter at the moment. A simple "I don't know" would have sufficed in both cases; if Dimiourgia wants them to know, she'll say so. If it's not important to the main story in any way, just leave it as a mystery. You've already hinted at him in Flowers; if you want to write a side story about who this guy is you don't need to tell us any of this.

Readers who want to know more will explore on their own.

I don't hate the reason behind the puzzles and the Crystal Heart's existence as much as you probably expected. It does feel a lot contrived, but at the same time it doesn't go beyond the realm of possibility. I think you're largest mistake by far was never showing even the slightest hint of this compassionate nature in Vorjhan in the prequel. The only evidence we have of this 'other side' of his soul is in Dimiourgia's story, and that makes this all way too sudden. Even in the conclusion of flowers, there wasn't even the tiniest hint of this pity she mentions (probably because you ended the story before we could see it). All we got to see was destruction, hate and corruption, and that makes this concept... ick.

But I don't hate this idea. On the contrary, if it had been approached correctly it would have worked wonderfully. Instead of following the road to the bottom of the mountain, you drove off the cliff – with appropriate results.

Might I ask what evidence we have – other than Dimiourgia's word – that Aura's heart is "the purest in recent pony history?" And Dimiourgia is aware that ponies have only been around for 60 years, right?

...okay, I decided to shut up and see where this was going. Way to give them everything they need in one highly unlikely moment. And I see Luna is about to get a nice alternative to help her avoid capture. It also highly amuses me that Dimiourgia explained everything to them so perfectly and granted everything they need to stop the changling invasion...

...without actually telling them about the changling invasion. Now, I get it, you want them to find out about it on their own. But if you want Dimiourgia to look mysterious and not like she's giving everything away, you should have done away with all the lengthy explanations and just had our local goddess say 'just do X and everything will make sense in time.' Or she could even have just blasted the info into them in one fell swoop and let Aura 'understand' via instinct. As it is, telling them all of this stuff at once and then ignoring what your readers are probably thinking is the single most important thing at the moment is not the right way to handle this.

One last thing: why would Dimiourgia vow never to come back? Has she grown bored with this world and feel like moving on to another TV series? Does she really think equestria is going to be safe for all eternity? Because that thinking is what led to the "Great Evacuation" in the first place. Way to learn from your mistakes, Dimi. Did her producers decide to give her the boot?

[Ice Star]

A cerulean, crystal heart.

I see what you did there...