• Member Since 26th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Cerulean Voice


Father of twin 5yo boys, partner of Arcelia, and so glad to be back.

Sequels1

E
Source

Three phoenixes' Burning Days occur simultaneously, against all possible odds. Deciding to take advantage of this once-in-an-eternity possibility, Philomena, Fawkes, and Ho-Oh meet in the Unbecoming realm to share experiences of their worlds: their masters, acquaintances, apocalypse aversions, and practical jokes.


A collaboration with AbstractThought. Preread by Unimpressive Vagaries. Edited by ChromeMyriad and GaryOak.

Now featured on:
Equestria Daily!
The Royal Guard's Fic Spotlight #01.
Canterlot's Finest.

This story is 100% approved by Twilight's Library!

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 107 )

Where is Yveltal? i like this, but, man, where is the cute god of destruction

3523874
Well, to be honest, I haven't been able to afford X or Y, and I don't own a 3DS.
So I know nothing about Gen VI.
Ho-Oh has long been a favourite of mine anyway, since about 13 years ago.
I appreciate the interest!

I wonder what would happen if the legendary pokemon met the world leaders of the golden armour

3524024
Hmmm.....*scratches chin* :applejackunsure:
I'll think about it for a bit. Thanks for the read! :twilightsmile:

3523874

I'm pretty sure Yveltal isn't a phoenix. :derpytongue2:
Also, nice story, Cerulean! I never would have thought to do a crossover like this!

3524135 I know, but we're talking about birds. That's why because I talked about the Destruction Pokemon

Well, you both won my approval! :twilightsmile:

Swiggity swory, looks like a new story! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Very cool. I really love Fawkes' personality. It's nothing like what I would have thought! :pinkiesmile:

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Burning Day Brethren
Grammar Score: 9
Pros: - The premise is brilliant.
- Ho-Oh is freaking majestic!
- It was a very... Happy story.
Cons: - The dialogue felt somewhat awkward at times, more exposition dump than conversation in parts.
- 404 problems not found.
- :applejackunsure:
Notes:

Not much more to say really, I'm terribly picky when it comes to dialogue, but it didn't detract too much from my enjoyment.

As I said, this story brought me happiness, it's great.

Now then, in return for this review, and in compliance with AHA protocol, I humbly request a review on my story Knights of Equestria, my most popular work.

This is Type Cast, signing off!

Dat moment when you get an unexplained dislike...
Eh, my record is still pretty stellar. Quite frankly I'm surprised it took so long to get one.

This was awesome, very nice look into how phoenixes work. I must admit, I may have to adobt this headcanon :raritywink:

~DeepShift

An interesting story. I haven't actually read many fic involving Philomena as the main character. Ho-Oh was cool, Fawkes was kind of a moron and Philomena was adorable~

I like it. Looking forward to the next update.

Also looking forward to to Ho-Oh in Equestria and getting pranked... hard.:trollestia:

Needs Sequal...with maybe one or two other Phoenixes. Perhaps A'tar the Phoenix God From WoW, as well as others.

3613148
Nicely done
:twilightsmile: Cheers for the fav and the watch!

After comparing this story's quality with its overall reception (the measurement unit being its upvote/downvote ratio), I can conclude that it suffers from the usual bane that plagues Cerulean Voice's works-

It's criminally underrated.

Loved it, as always.:twilightsmile:
I particularly liked the constant (albeit possibly unintentional) shift between serious and silly, too! The "over nine thousand" and "we're meant to have chicks together?" jokes come to mind.

This review proudly brought to you by the group Authors Helping Authors.

Name of story: Burning Day Brethren

Grammar score (out of ten): 9

Pros:
1) Personally, I think exploring a non-pony character that has no lines and barely any screen time is a pro by itself. Kudos for going off the beaten path here (and doing it well too)
2) Nice bit of world building here, with the concept of the Burning Day, and the general lifetime cycles that the Phoenix go through. Adds a lot of depth for the reader, but the dialogue keeps it light-hearted at the same time.
3) Tying it all into the episode that centers on Philomena is a nice touch too, and adds a nice bit of continuity, imo.

Cons:
1) I think I spotted a few grammar items, but nothing major at all. Very well written in that regard.
2) It took me a few re-reads to pick up some of the references and names, though that's likely because I never really played Pokemon-related games. Once I figured it out, I lol'd for sure, but it took me a bit of work to get there.
3) There is not already a new chapter exploring the future use of the trinket that the elder Phoenix made for the others.

Notes:
Definitely a cute read here. Some good laughs riding shotgun with a not insignificant amount of world-building for an easily overlooked character. A small expansion to explore the new trinkets would be awesome, but this stands on its on just fine as well. Good job! :twilightsmile:

3674126
Thank you for your read and review :pinkiehappy:
I'm pleased that you like it. It all just came together one day after watching Chamber of Secrets. Four hours later, the story was finished. Props to AbstractThought for supplying the more light-hearted and humorous sections.

3) There is not already a new chapter exploring the future use of the trinket that the elder Phoenix made for the others.

Ausbrony expressed a similar desire. Honestly, I don't know how I could continue this, or make a sequel. It's not a bad idea, though, I just wonder what the hell I would do with each character and what reason they'd have for getting together again.

small amount of creatures

Wouldn't it be small number?

once-living things are unable to return to the world of the living, once crossing the divine border to its gates

word repetition of once, there

Probably could cut down on hammering the point that it's "most creatures" who can, compared to "all creatures" in the intro, there.

may have

might have, tense error

Of course, they could also be killed.

Could stand to cut a bit of the use of "of course" to give it a brisker flow

showing the phoenix lord more respect

Bit blunt and telly, isn't this?

The elder phoenix stretched out its neck before looking down at the younger pair.

That paragraph could be attached to Ho-oh's dialogue instead, since it's his actions.

Ho-Oh interjected

italics derp

Some really interesting ideas going on in here. Ending's a bit ham, but 'tis the season and whatnot, and you had me engaged very well. Quite a nice read.

3701384
Thanks a lot for the feedback! Every little bit of polish I can get is helpful, especially now that it's in the EqD queue. I'll implement those corrections/suggestions soon. :twilightsmile: thanks for your interest.

okay, here i am to do another review :pinkiehappy: hooray!

Okay, first thing i should say is that darkrai wasnt evil just misunderstood so i feel grouping him with voldemort is a bit harsh :fluttershysad:
second, really fun story. i liked it a lot, it would have been cool to hear more in depth conversations but it was still really good. Also i loved how you did a shout out to Granny Smith.

anyway, onto characterization. I think you pretty much nailed it with Ho-oh, and Fawkes seemed legit to but Philomena didn't seem as playful or mischievous as she does in the show, she seems more mature and serious. anyway those are my thoughts :twilightsmile:

Ah this story es muy bueno:yay:
gonna give it a like and fave
Great exposition:rainbowwild:
great setting:rainbowwild:
stellar dialogue:pinkiehappy:
needs a space here and there but that's just nitpicking and doesn't detract from the overall presentaion
so you win :trollestia:

3708546
Alright!
You may be right about Philomena. From what we saw of her, she does seem like a prankster, however I'd like to think that she isn't that way all the time. I tried a different approach to her, but still made the allusions to Fluttershy with regards to her pranks. Fawkes, I really had nothing to go on, so I just invented a personality that can't be really disproved.

Glad you picked up on the Granny Smith part :pinkiesmile:
You know, maybe Darkrai was a bad example, but if I'm really honest, I know nothing about him, except the fact that I've seen him depicted as the villain multiple times in other stories, so I just went with the idea that he was evil.
Ho-Oh was actually the easiest of the three to write.

Thanks for your review!

3708587
Hooray!
...
And your return story?

3708617 well my other stories are kind of... mature
I do have a good one in progress that's not so adult called "All I Needed To Hear" with some good old Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo fluff :rainbowkiss: so cute!

3708664
No worries. I'll get to it soon. Thanks for the fave!
3708546 you too, maxxxxxxie.

This story just got to 250 views. Ho-Oh's number is #250.
:ajsmug:

I said I would give a look at one of your stories, and so I did. Not bad at all. It was extremely well written, and the dialogue was fantastic. I loved reading this.

3743178
And with your vote of confidence, I now find myself with two stories each having a 50:1 ratio as well as being EqD worthy.
Awww Yis. :yay:

Why does this real of Unbecoming sound like the place a certain little purple unicorn went to and returned from as an alicorn?

3744310
Uh oh, spaghetti-oh! You caught me. Look at the background in the artwork.
My headcanon is that, in order to achieve apotheosis, Twilight did indeed die when she was zapped by the elements. The Unbecoming realm is my take on Limbo.

3674173
A reason you say? Friendship ofcourse!

Hi! I had to register to FIMfiction after reading your story. I really enjoyed it. I liked the new "lore" that was introduced as to what happens to phoenix and why. I loved the interactions between the three phoenices (er..?) of different worlds and hearing the memories they each held dear.

It was really touching and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I wish that sometime we could hear more about the interaction here, like maybe the same story but retold from another phoenix' viewpoint. I don't think we heard much about the other phoenixes memories and yes I'm running out of possible plural versions of "Phoenix."

Anyway, thank you and I look forward to reading more of your stories here.
Frank

3744721
Daymn, compelling someone to join just because of my little old story?
I'm honoured :scootangel:
Thanks so much for your kind words. I do hope my other stories can entertain you just as much. Although, you may want to steer clear of my bad grammar story, at least at first... I don't want to break you before you even have a chance to get off the starting line! :twilightsheepish:

...

I didn't know Ho-Oh was a phoenix

3744917

Ho-Oh is based on the legend of the phoenix, specifically the Fenghuang, the immortal phoenix of China from which it derives its name. It is also based on the Huma bird, a legendary bird that is said to never rest, living its entire life flying continuously, and resurrects itself and others in its own ashes and flames.

From Bulbapedia.
Now you know :twilightsmile:

Now make a sequel where Philomena comes back and meets Phoenix Wright and Jean Grey from X-Men.
Because why not? :derpytongue2:

A beutiful treat. Written well, short, and has us seeing characters in a different light, I always like stories like this.

3744932 Well fuck me sideways and call me Jimmy

3745931
:yay:(I thought your name was Jehoshaphat.)

I honestly loved this insight into the time between a phoenix's death and rebirth. The bond that these three phoenixes shared was heartwarming and was worth the read. I look forward to more of your stories.

Whoa. When I read the description for this on Eduestria Daily, I was half expecting a random, silly little romp making fun of three different franchises.

I was disappointed in the greatest possible way. I'd look forward to a more in-depth sequel, should such a notion strike your fancy. I'd at the very least like to know whether Ho-Oh ever managed to talk to Palkia about it.

3708546

except Darkrai from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time and Explorers of Darknes is kind of dick who wants to consume world in darkness

3746861
I'm glad to have disappointed you so! er... :unsuresweetie:
Oh yeah, :rainbowkiss:

Thank you for your comment. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.
As for the sequel, you're far from the only one who's expressed interest.

3708546
3708604

In the anime and the movies, Darkrai is not a villain. Often mistaken for one, but not a villain. In the second set of Mystery Dungeon games, however, he is second only to Lysandre in terms of vileness. There, Darkrai basically mind-rapes Dialga, causing Time to fall apart, because this makes the world stop turning, leaving him a world where the sun never rises and his nightmares can last forever. When that fails, he resorts to putting a small child into a coma and terrorizing them endlessly in his nightmares, and later attempts to convince the player character to commit suicide. This is an awesome game.

So whether you want to call Darkrai a villain or not depends on which version of Ho-Oh you're using.

Spoilers, by the way.

3746914 Lysandre < Ghetis in terms of absolute vileness.

3747097
Incorrect. Ghetsis wanted to take over the world, and simply had no qualms killing to make it happen.
Lysandre's entire plan was "kill everyone who isn't me and a few dozen tacky people who paid me to let them live."

Ghetsis was a monster, but Lysandre actually threatens you with immortality, cursing you to forever walk the earthwith the knowledge that you failed to stop him.

3747289 Actually he curses you with immortality to see what happens to the world BECAUSE you stopped him. Lysander thinks hes saving the world, by killing everyone whos slowly destroying it.

3747630
Sounds like Maester Seymour to me.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!