• Member Since 20th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 17th, 2016

Freelancer


Flip a coin, take a chance, it doesn't really matter. We're all living in a house of cards, just waiting for it all to fall.

T

Spike and Spitfire, one a dragon and the other a Wonderbolt, were unknowingly brought together by a day neither wish to remember in the slightest; Spike nearly levelled the town he loved and called home, while Spitfire witnessed the true might and fury of a dragon, and nearly lost close friends and team mates in the process.

Needless to say, the experience left them both with their own mental and emotional scars, scars which show no sign of healing quickly nor easily.

So when nightmares, guilt, and perhaps a slight twist of fate (courtesy of some annoyingly persistent friends trying to help) brings the two together again, and a potential chance to make peace and move on arises to each through the other, both decide it's at least worth a shot.

But, as is sometimes the case, even the best laid plans can have unexpected results.

Main - SpikeXSpitfire
Secondary - SoarinXDash
.....................................................................................................................................................
Author: Freelancer
Co-author/Editor: Edragon (has since left FimFiction)

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 260 )

Well... ok the main paring is certainly unusual , and I don't think I've seen a Spike/Spitfire shipfic before. You got your work cut out for you.

This pairing unique and original.
Huzzah!

do my eyes deceive me? A Spike x Spitfire?! Da Fuq?! this is... Awesome!

I have only one thing to say to this.

Ohhhh! Spike and Spitfire, totally unique!:raritystarry: I am looking forward for more!:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss:

Not bad, and yeah this may be a completely untouched ship.

One suggestion, though, I'd recommend either removing the note at the very beginning (most readers here can probably figure out when a dragon would have been attacking Ponyville as described), or revising it into something that's more like a scene change header than an author's note.

SpikexAnyone feels off to me because Spike is a child in comparison to the entire cast, so this feels kind of like cradle robbery to me. Just my opinion; I'm gonna pass on the story, though.

I wish you luck.

SpikeFire?

AS much as I hate Spike x anything, the idea you based this off of is really cool. Spitfire's experience with Spike when he was in full-dragon mode would make a hilarious and awkward second meetup.

I'm gonna give this a read because I like the idea.

Not to mention, unless I am mistaken, I believe this is the first SpikeFire ever written.

I'm very curious of this one. VERY curious.

Fave and upvote. I'm following along.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3083522 Kinda feel the same way. I liked what I read, it's just the nagging feeling of "Hey, Spike is technically a minor" that keeps me from doing anymore than liking the story. Now if this was a story where Spike was older? Different case right there, but I digress.

Oh my god, yes. So much yes. When I saw this, I had the biggest nostalgic moment ever.

You get all the mustaches this page can fit.

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

This has got to be the first time I've ever seen this pairing. I'm extremely interested in reading it, even though it's going to feel weird. I'm personally not a big fan of Spike, but I'll read this for Spitfire.

It will be interesting to see how this plays out. And I'm happy you made this chapter. There isn't any serious stories involving these two and I can't wait to see where you go with this.

3083712
If you haven't seen another SpikeFire fic then this must the first one.

3083732

I accept SpikexCMC because they're minors too, so I do support those ships. It just feels wrong when a pony equivalent of a human in their early twenties hooks up with a dragon, who, in human years, is only about ten or eleven.

If they forward Spike a few years, they'd have to basically almost rewrite the show. The likely scenario is Celestia giving Spike, already born, to a filly Twi to become life partners. That's the only way I see that thing working.

3084600 Well not really rewrite the show, just set it in the future where Spike is older.

But yeah I do like the occasional SpikexCMC story.

:moustache:Freelancer my friend... I think this was a success.:yay:

And it's in the feature box!

JBL

Hmmmm, well I'm looking forward to the Spike side of things, how he deals with the stress and guilt from the fallout.

3084600 Well, I've seen people estimating Spike's age as 16 at the beginning of the show, assuming Twilight was six when she took the test to get into the school for gifted unicorns right out of magic kindergarten, and is 22 when she goes to ponyville (since she's studying friendship for some kind of thesis or dissertation).

It's not too farfetched to say a couple years passed during the show's run, which would make him 18 and technically legal, even if he's still a baby for a dragon.

D48

This is interesting, and I like how you have handled Spitfire so far so I am looking forwards to seeing where this goes.

Great start can't wait to see where this goes.

Nice premise. 10/10, would fap.

Sweet Mother of Faust, I'm So Nervouscited :pinkiehappy:

I think this fandom has broken me. For some reason, I don't like straight relationships. I'm straight and married. In movies or other non MLP stuff, doesn't bother me. But in MLP I seem to dislike it if they aren't lesbian/gay couples. IDK why.

3085120
It's because the males' character has barely been developed. After Spike, the guy with the most development is probably Big Mac, and all he does is say: "eeyup" or "eenope":eeyup:

This fic has promise and a very interesting "hook" to draw readers in. The quality of the writing thus far in terms of characterization and pacing, even in this short prologue, is another plus. I'll be curious to see what places you take all of us with this--keep up the good work! :pinkiehappy:
memecrunch.com/meme/DVN9/gentlemen-you-had-my-curiosity/image.png

Hm, this first chapter says it all for me...I love it! :pinkiehappy:

The concept is fresh out of the oven and quite engaging to me; I mean, who wouldn't love to see a small romance interpolated between Spike and Spitfire after the Secret of My Excess episode? Not only is that a superb foundation to start from, but it actually flows well with the current events and gets the reader interested in the story, as you could tell from the multiple positive responses and gaining entrance into the feature box. Congratulations, by the way! :twilightsmile:

The plot wasn't the only thing that had me, though. It was the addition of efficient grammar and detail that got my attention, like the your use of semicolons. You used them correctly, and you made them a great substitute for periods; a skill that has eluded my knowledge for a long time. The use of small details that flowed with the whole story was also a nice touch. It wasn't just scrambled around and chunky, but was well-used and kept the whole story flowing.

I really hope you continue this, because I want to see where this will take me next, but until then, I think you have rightly earned my fancy and a favorite on my behalf. I wish you luck in your further story writing!

~Tempered Steel

3085166

That makes sense. It wasn't really the spike relationship but the soarin one that makes me erk.

3084825

I... don't recall Twilight studying friendship for anything like that.

I faintly recall Faust saying the Six are somewhere in their late teens, if they were human. So roughly sixteen-ish. This places Spike at roughly... what, nine or twelve? Somewhere in that range.

3084609

That's still squicky; if they age forward Spike to be about twenty, if you go on my previous comment, this puts the Six at roughly late thirties, early fourties. That's a fairly big age gap and I still can't get over the feeling it's cradle robbing.

Regardless, it's my decision.

I can't really make a fair judgment on this yet, I haven't seen anything spectacular or terrible here. Normally I would just move on, but the novelty of your concept has given me pause. I'm tracking this, for now.

Some editing tips

Prior Note: This takes place shortly after ‘Secret of my Excess’, just so everyone’s in the loop.

You can drop this. The synopsis shows us enough, not to mention your opening scene. Anyone who's seen the show knows that Spike trapped the wonderbolts with a gigantic water jug when he was a rampaging dragon.; Don't stoop to telling after you've done a good job of showing instead. That's just bad writing.

Its roar was no less intimidating or any less majestic then the dragon’s titanic frame.

Typo there. Should be "than"

she may have been a member of the Wonderbolts, the captain of the elite flying squad even, but she was still a pony,

Comma splice. I recommend em dashes.

“So… what’s the plan then captain?”

If somepony is being addressed in dialogue, you should place a comma before their name.

“Spitfire… It’s Wednesday,” Soarin jumped in, watching as the golden mare’s jaw hit her desk,

This is a bit LUS (lavender unicorn syndrome). I understand the want for variety, but this just looks like weak writing. "the captain" would have worked far better, as it's very relevant to the situation at hand.

“Celestia feathering dammit!” She groaned

Clever. I laughed. Very nice.

Okay, now my thoughts on the story itself. I enjoyed it. Your synopsis betrays a genuine effort and great vision for thist story, as opposed to the usual hackneyed pairing-out-of-a-hat. It's not something that reached off the page and grabbed me, but I'm definitely interested in seeing where it goes. I'll give it a thumbs up and read later for now. Favorites list is yet to be seen.

3085405 She's doing independent research with Celestia as an advisor -- that's the sort of thing you do as a grad student, not as a high school student or even a bachelors student.

Having her in her teens (and Equestria in general having a much less developed educational system) also makes sense of course.:twilightsmile: But if you want to ship Spike and not have him be underage it's *plausible*.

What age is spike in this ? Just boost his age up to sixteen or seventeen than it will be alright and he has to be tall and handsome ........ And stuff

3084609>>3084825>>3083522

This is my personal opinion more than anything, but (rightly or wrongly) I judge character ages predominantly on actions.

Given that Spike cooks most of Twilight's meals, cleans the library, gets asked to run errands etc. (to me) indicates he's somewhere between 16 - 18. When you compare these traits to those of characters like Sweetie Bell, who acts like someone between 10 - 12... eh, Spike just doesn't seem to be in the same age category.

Again, these are my personal opinions, and I take no offense to others believing otherwise.

3083676

Don't take this the wrong way... but I feel that I've achieved something by getting your positive attention. :pinkiehappy:

3085111

Ya'll know that ain't a word, right? :applejackunsure:



As related to the story: this is rather interesting. Earned an upvote and a favorite from me, and I look forward to further chapters.

3085335

Truth be told, Soarin has always been a character I've had mixed feelings about; some fics portray him well, others...yeah, let's not even go there.

As for the effect of the fandom... it does strange things to you. :pinkiecrazy:

*eyes the premise*

:applejackconfused:

What.

:rainbowhuh:

*adds to read later list*

Okay... :pinkiecrazy:

I've seen this particular shipping once or twice before. Good story. I can't wait to read more of it.

3085875 I know, I know I'm a dick, usually. But this isn't pointless clop, and it's not human, and it's not anthro. It's nice to see something original in the featured box for once.

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