Story version of the post of the same name! Credit for the concept goes entirely to Whiskeylullaby.

It's been a couple years or so ever since the Dimensional Tear Incident of 2018—something that no one would've ever thought of happening. On both worlds, everyone is still getting used to the fact that alien life does indeed exist, some coming to terms faster than others. Cultural exchange is slow but relations only continue to get stronger.

In a show of kindness, the U.S sends a volunteer over to the Equestrian side to help manage their security problems; something that's been plaguing them for quite some time now.

It is quite the shame that MA Brandt is in for quite the shock.

What is going on? What am I, where am I? Why do I walk through the dreams of abnormal horses? I was just a regular guy and now I'm walking through the dreams of sapient horses. My 'powers' rip me from this dimension to one that I'm never meant to set foot in.

Any sapient creature needs some kind of guidance, someone or something to look after. Something to stand by, a right and a wrong, everyone needs morals. I'm something of a symbol of guidance, I didn't ask to be but I grew into it. Ponies channel all their negative emotions into their dreams, all their hate, sorrow, heck even lust if they consider it bad.

I don't think I'm a god by any standards, I just picture myself as someone who helps. Dreams are powerful especially pony dreams, they have so much magic packed into them! Though dreams can get a bit freaky, trust me they get weird.

But why was I chosen, why am I so special? Is this some kind of joke or is it destiny? What purpose do I have here, why can't I just have a normal sleep? One dreamless night is all I ask for, helping someone out each night is kinda draining. Maybe this is all just a dream, or...maybe I'm dead.

Just, please, don't let the horse on the moon catch me.

Featured 2/12/19, even though it was for a short time it was still awesome, thanks guys!

Featured 2/21/19, featured again?! You guys don't know when to quit, but seriously I love you guys!

You and Thorax are bros, and bros don't snuggle. Thorax disagrees.

Contains lots of snuggling. No actual intercourse; the sex tag is just there for occasional lewd references.

David had a decent run of things in Equestria for a while now... A house, decent job doing silly little precision tasks that took the average pony waaay longer to do in exchange for some bits... Semi-frequent home-invasions...

Waking up to his- very dead- phone blowing up, and a Princess knocking on his door, out of breath and desperate, he has to figure out exactly why she's shown up.

Or more accurately- why she's now chasing him. Preferably after he's booked it, and no longer feels a mortal fear from the sheer insanity that was on his phone.

Such is life for human David.

I had the inspiration to write this just by seeing the image (and wanting to make myself write more/post more) and originally it was going to be an Anon- but then I had a funny idea.
I gave myself Edgerunners PTSD. And I couldn't fit the joke in well. It was not worth it.
... At least I got more third person practice!
Therin lies the sunk cost fallacy, and my desire to write more third person.
Ah well, I had some fun with the banter, so worth!
Give Icey some love. Peak funny arts.
Obligatory Ko-fi beg.

Featured on release day, and got to 1st at that. (Also apparently featured on EQD-) Thanks to y'all for enjoying my silly horsewords, to this day.

When the sirens need to work to feed themselves (after a few unfortunate incidents burn through most of their emergency funding), they don't easily find jobs they like. This goes triple for Adagio Dazzle, stuck as a waitress/mascot for some cheesy, no-name restaurant. Little did she know what would happen following the broadcast of their very first commercial...

Contains cheese. Twilight Sparkles beware. Rated Teen for upcoming commercialism. Random tag for the same reason, Profanity tag mostly for Aria Blaze.

Anonymous, the only human in Equestria, has long had to place a limit on the number of questions Twilight can ask about humans. Thing is, Twilight clearly needs to know about human adrenaline. Obviously, the only solution is to rope the whole town into a huge scheme to get him to use it.

Obviously.

Edit: Featured 7/13/20! Thank you!
Edit 2: Now with reading!

Loading sunsetshimmer.exe...

Commencing system check...

set variable feelings for "Twilight Sparkle" = love

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An entry for the Unhappy Yuri Contest.
Category: Doomed/Toxic Yuri
Pet the Koi.

Sunset moves into her new duplex, but her roommate seems like she's a bit on the 'strange side'. Or more accurately, the 'completely psychotic and probably into all the crimes, all of them', side.

Thanks to Nova Quill/Firimil for their edits and suggestions! Especially Nova who basically inspired this in the first place!

Chrysalis vector by xebck.
Sunset Vector by Aqua-pony.

For Doctor Twilight Sparkle, life at Canterlot National Hospital was pretty good. She'd struck up a bond with the director and even had enough time to publish a paper or two. There's only one thing she needs to advance even further: better bedside manner.
For these reasons, Doctor Celestia carts her off to a tiny Ponyville practice. Now, Twilight must find a way to both cure and tolerate the village idiots--and try to convince a certain high-strung healer that she's not after her job.

Because "grumpy doctor Twilight" practically writes itself. Art by Punk-Pegasus

Time after time, through chaos and through wars, Princess Celestia prevailed.

Of all the terrible forces she could have fallen to, Flim Flam Industry was the last one anypony had expected.

With thanks to gardrek for editing (3-6) and PinkieDP, Ice Star, and Odd_Sarge for prereading help.