Sunset stops for a coffee
Sunset Shimmer let out a gust of air that left her lips flapping and sent the tuft of her hair that usually hung in front of her face flying as she practically flung herself into a gray padded chair. She leaned forward and rested her chin in her hands as she propped her elbows up on the simple wood grain table in front of her. Damage control… She thought. I need to do damage control…
Sunset found herself surrounded by the smell of coffee amongst a bustling venue that really enjoyed green and dark wood grain. Other people sat at tables usually in pairs or in groups, sipped coffee, and conversed. Some even had pastries or sandwiches that they would take a moment to nosh on before continuing conversations or going back to staring at whatever digital screen was in front of them. Though Sunset’s distant expression suggested her thoughts were far away from the interior of the coffee shop.
Well… I can just stick with the ‘overslept’ line. It has the benefit of being technically true while leaving me plenty of room to just omit details on account of the sleep that I… technically DIDN’T get… Sunset relaxed slightly in her chair. Still, it’s whatever I say against my friend’s paranoia… Sunset let out a sigh heavy with exasperation. That’s still an uphill battle no matter what… Sunset winced and raised a hand to her head. Ghuuu… my head…
Sunset got up briefly and quickly came back to her seat with a clear plastic cup full of a translucent liquid and sat back down. She reached a hand into her leather jacket, unzipped a pocket, and pulled out a ziplock baggie with a handful of round white pills in it. Opening it, she picked out three into her palm, slammed them into her mouth, and took a sip of her water.
And then she heard a familiar gasp so loud, lengthy, and familiar, she would have paid substantial money to redo the last hour or so of her life.
“Sunset Shimmer!” a shrill, surprised voice called out.
It was all Sunset could do to swallow her pills as Pinkie’s voice rang out, still she managed to get the small white objects down her throat… The water on the other hand…
“Cough! Cough! Pinkie!” Sunset got out as she nearly drowned from a tiny sip of water.
Pinkie was in front of her faster than one could say, ‘Oh, God! Why is this my day?!’ “Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, Sunset! What were they?! Crack, smack, snacks, uppers, downers, frowners, sensurronders?!” Pinkie’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Anddoyouhaveanyyoucanspare?!”
“What?!” Sunset exclaimed.
“What?” Pinkie replied innocently.
Sunset sighed and picked up the baggie in front of her. “Pinkie, they’re just aspirin! Why would I do hardcore drugs in a public coffee house?!” she asked as she closed the bag and placed it back in her pocket.
Pinkie shrugged. “I don’t know, but that sounds like something someone who was hopelessly addicted to drugs would do!”
Sunset grit her teeth. “You saw me two days ago! Do you really think I started a drug addiction in that short amount of time?”
“Maaaaaybe…” Pinkie said as she leaned down and gave Sunset a scrutinizing look. “Who knows what kind of peer pressure that possibly eeeevil roommate of yours is pushing!”
“I…” Sunset trailed off and thought for a moment. Chrysi could likely swing that on someone with less willpower than herself, though it probably wouldn’t do any good to tell Pinkie that. “Pinkie, it’s ME!” Sunset said, hopefully that would get across the fact that Sunset wasn’t exactly one to fall to peer pressure.
“Well, of course it’s you, silly!” Pinkie said. She giggled to herself. “It’s not like anyone thinks you were cocooned and replaced by a shapeshifter!” Pinkie gasped. “Unless that’s exactly what happened and you’re preemptively covering your tracks!” Pinkie swallowed. “Oh no! What if they got Twilight! Or Dashie! OR Fluttershy! Or Applejack! Or or… Twilight!”
“You said ‘Twilight’ twice’, Pinkie,” Sunset said dryly.
Pinkie nodded. “Right! Because both Twilights are looking for you!”
Sunset’s entire face scrunched up and she closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with a thumb and forefinger. “Oh, lord…” she uttered.
Pinkie let out a terrified gasp-shriek.
“Oh, what is it now?!” Sunset said, unable to keep irritation out of her voice.
“What if they replaced ME!” Pinkie wailed. She pulled her hands under her chin, clasping them into fists. “I’m too young to be cocooned!”
Sunset leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. “Okay… One person is clearly on drugs in this conversation and it’s not me.”
Pinkie leaned forward and placed a hand near her mouth as if shielding the conversation from anyone else who might be listening in. “Is it one of the chairs?”
Sunset’s turquoise eyes simultaneously tried to look at her nose as her forehead wrinkled. “I think it’s getting more apparent who it is by the sentence, but why would you even ask that?”
“In case the mimics are in cahoots with the shapeshifters!” Pinkie said.
Sunset groaned. “Pinkie. I’m fine! There are no shapeshifters and there’s no mimics at the coffee shop!”
Pinkie cautiously kicked at a few of the chairs and the table Sunset was sitting at, causing Sunset’s water to splash slightly.
Grumbling as she picked up her water and took a sip, Sunset continued, “I was just heading to school, and—”
“Super late!” Pinkie pointed out.
“Yes, I know!” Sunset said. “Figured I’d get lunch on the way there. Nothing against Granny Smith, but cafeteria food is still a few steps below coffee chain food.” Sunset shook her head. “So, just go find everyone else and tell them I’ll be in for fourth period!”
“You can tell them yourself, silly Sunset!” Pinkie took a step to her left and motioned out. “They’re right here!”
Sunset felt her face change temperature as she looked over the collection of high-school aged girls all giving her concerned looks. She wasn’t sure who she was more angry with at this point: Pinkie, or herself. “Okay, in my defense, Pinkie is really good at holding people’s attention.”
Rarity nodded. “That she is,” she agreed.
Sunset tilted her head. “How long have you been in here?!”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Somewhere around the time Pinkie thought you might have replaced by a pod person!”
“Guessing you ruled that out?” Sunset suggested.
Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Well, it seemed pretty far-fetched even for this group.”
Pinkie gave Rainbow Dash a scrutinizing look. “That’s exactly what a shapeshifter would say!”
Applejack groaned. “Pinkie, you’re clearly over-stimulated. Ah think ya need to have a juice box and sit down.”
“Oh, good idea!” Pinkie reached into her mop of pink curls that she kept balanced on her head, pulled out a juice box, and plopped in a seat next to Sunset where she gleefully stabbed a straw into the top. She began to gleefully drain the box of its juice.
Sunset looked over the expressions on her friends’ faces. Most seemed relieved to see her, but there was one in particular that was almost giving her the same scrutinizing look that Pinkie was throwing around. “Uh… Problem Twi-Princess Twilight?” Sunset asked.
“Well…” Princess Twilight rubbed her chin. “Given the noted uptick of magical activity in this area, it’s not outlandish a changeling invasion is happening.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Changelings… Really!” She shook her head. “Why would you even humor that? What possible context outside of Pinkie’s insanity would you have to even believe that was going on?”
Princess Twilight frowned. “Well… I’m not sure it would be the strangest thing that’s happened to you…”
“Well… you got me there,” Sunset admitted. “Oh, did I tell you about the time mom got so frustrated during a meeting with the nobles that she stormed out and then a guard was all like, ‘Can I help you?’ and mom was like ‘No… It’s going to take you and maybe the rest of the guards in this wing of the castle!’ and then she had him get them all for an emergency meeting in her bedchambers where I wasn’t allowed probably becau—”
“Ahhh!” Princess Twilight exclaimed. “Okay! Okay! I believe it’s you!”
The bespectacled Twilight frowned. “Well… I remain unconvinced. I mean… you didn’t even ask me to help you move!”
Sunset winced as most the girls present shifted nervously in place.
“Yeah, or me!” Princess Twilight chimed in.
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Princess Twilight, you’re well… a Princess… I assumed you had better things to do then help me move some stuff across town!”
Princess Twilight pursed her lips and gave Sunset a protesting look. “Well, it would have been nice to be asked!”
“Yeah!” Twilight agreed. “I’m not even a princess! Why didn’t I get an invite?!”
“I’m sorry!” Sunset said throwing up her hands. “I mean… You’re new to the group and I wasn’t sure me making you carry heavy stuff and going to the ‘you might get stabbed’ part of town was a good early impression!”
Twilight frowned. “Were you afraid my magic might go haywire and I might hurt someone?”
“Uh… No? Er…Wait… Yes? Maybe?” Sunset frowned heavily. “Which answer makes this conversation the least awkward?”
Princess Twilight sighed. “Okay, let’s focus… How much can you really trust this new roommate of yours?”
Sunset fought the urge to say, ‘I trust her about as much as I trust being able to hug her and not get poked by all the spikes she wears’ and opted to change the subject. "How did you hear about my roommate? Why are you even here?!"
“Oh!” Pinkie said. “I ran to get Twilight! It was no biggy… The portal is always open anyways… andIliketochangeplaceswiththeotherPinkiesooftenevenwe’renotsurewhobelongswhereatthispoint!”
“What?!” the group collectively asked.
“What?” Pinkie replied.
"Look,” Princess Twilight began. “It was hard not to hear about your new roommate. Pinkie told me about your move and all the expensive stuff already furnishing your place in the ‘crack-whore’ part of town.”
Sunset glared at Pinkie.
“What?!” Pinkie replied in a shrill, protesting tone. “It’s not like I said you were a crack-whore… but I mean… It pretty much is where all the crack-whores hang out… Or so I’ve heard!” Pinkie declared before she sucked on her juice box so hard it began to make an obnoxious sound as the rest of the liquid was vacuumed up.
Princess Twilight continued, “Anyway, then I wrote you and said I’d meet you at school. So I jump portals and see that Rarity was in hysterics, find out that Fluttershy left after second period to go check the nearest morgues, and Rainbow was stalking around the hallways snarling something about how they were all going to find fingers in their mailboxes. We decided it was best to form a search party and go look for you.”
Applejack nodded. “There’s safety in numbers.”
Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Yeah… Plus, we needed enough people to completely surround Fluttershy when we went to check the part of town you live in.”
Fluttershy let out a scared “Meep” and nodded.
Pinkie leaned in closer to Sunset. “She was scared because of all the crack-whores or guys who are super into crack-whores we thought we might run into!”
“Thanks, Pinkie,” Sunset said in a tone that would have a desert offering it water. “I got it.”
“May I see your hands, dear?" Rarity asked.
Sunset sighed and held up her hands and spread her fingers. All ten were quickly literally accounted for as Pinkie quickly scanned the hands, pointing and quietly counting out each digit to herself.
Sunset felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Fluttershy looking down at her, concern having set up a war camp on the girl’s face. “We’re all worried about you Sunset! I mean… Your new roommate could be planning to sell you into sex slavery for all we know!”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “So you keep saying…”
Rarity sighed and shook her head. “You have no idea…”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash chimed in, “Or she could be getting you hooked up on all kinda crazy drugs!”
“Ugh… So YOU keep saying!” Sunset said. She shook her head. “Guys, I’m not addicted to drugs of any kind.”
A male’s voice called out, “One Wake-up Jackhammer with extra espresso shots for Sunset Shimmer!”
“GIIIVE!” Sunset cried as she sprung out of her chair and came back with a very tall cardboard cup she took several large gulps from.
Applejack looked at the cup for a moment then, focused her attention on Sunset. “Look sugarcube, we all went to check up on ya because we’re just scared for your well being, that’s all. Ah mean… Can ya blame us after what you told us about your roommate?”
“She's just a little overzealous and maybe dabbles in crime." Sunset waved a dismissive hand about. "Nothing I haven't dealt with before. You’ve all got nothing to worry about! Believe me!”
Twilight jumped almost hard enough to knock her own glasses off her face as Princess Twilight gave Sunset a dry look. "Nothing in those first two sentences leads me to believe we have nothing to worry about," Princess Twilight said dryly.
"That's what I was going to say!" Twilight added. "Just... with a lot more concern."
"Well, I've been on the receiving end of Sunset's overzealousness and crime before," Princess Twilight stated. "I guess it mostly worked out in the long run."
Sunset puffed out her lower lip into an exaggerated pout then folded her arms across her chest. "You just HAD to bring that up!"
"Well, I assumed that's what we were talking about!" Princess Twilight insisted. "Unless you were once the leader of your own crime syndicate or something!"
Sunset replied by breaking eye contact with Princess Twilight as she began to conspicuously whistle a non-conspicuous tune.
Princess Twilight groaned. "I really wish I could tell when you were joking..."
Sunset smirked. "But where's the fun in that?"
"Oh, I know!" Pinkie exclaimed, raising her hand up. "The 'joke' part!"
"That's only half the fun," Sunset stated.
Applejack put her hands down on the table and leaned forward. “Look, We want to believe you,” she insisted. “Jus’ you know… You’ve er… kinda pulled the wool over our eyes before!”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash said. “You’ve got enough ‘dirt’ on us all to bury us six feet deep, if you start being evil again you could hide your identity and post all our secrets on MyStable, or something!”
Pinkie let out a giggle-snort. “Let’s not go crazy here.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Far too late for that… Also, why the heck would I do that? What possible benefit would that get me if everyone at school already knows I was once capable of lying and slander? Everyone would suspect me in a heartbeat.”
Pinkie giggled again. “It does sound pretty dumb and far-fetched.”
Rainbow Dash glared at Pinkie. “Really?”
“What! It does!” Pinkie insisted. “I think drugs is a much more likely scenario… and also being replaced by a body double.”
Sunset groaned. “I hope my sandwich is ready soon so I can try to suffocate myself with it…”
“I feel we’re getting off topic,” Princess Twilight commented.
Sunset snorted. “Right, such a rarity with our little group,” she said dryly.
Rarity let out in inquisitive hum.
“No, not you!” Sunset said. “I meant the actual word ‘rarity’.”
Twilight adjusted her glasses and spoke up. “Well, Princess Twilight has a point. I mean… You just met this other girl! Who knows what kind of crazy, perhaps magical, schemes she could be into that might get completely out of hand and maybe, possibly accidentally, destroy two freaking planets!” She finished, huffing and puffing to catch her breath. She took note that suddenly everyone in the group was staring at her. “Er… Just thinking out loud, here…”
“Easy, Twilight,” a muffled voice came from Twilight’s backpack. “We’re here for Sunset’s problem…”
“Did that backpack just talk?!” A male’s voice inquired.
“Seriously?!” the voice in the backpack exclaimed. “All this talk about pod-people and stuff and that’s what gets someone’s attention! Heck! Even I know that’s weird and I’m a do—”
Princess Twilight gently nudged Twilight’s backpack. “Shhhh… Spike! Not now!”
“Hey, you don’t OWN me!” Spike said. “Other Twilight owns me!”
Sunset grit her teeth. “Girls and uh… Spike, the experimental AI!”
“What?! I’m not… whatever that is!”
“Shhh!” Twilight said as she glanced back at her backpack. “She’s covering for you.”
“Oh, gotcha!” Spike said. “I am totally an ex-berry-mental Aie-Eye!”
Sunset looked at the other people in the room. Oddly enough, they immediately went back to their own lives, presumably with far less magic and talking dogs.
Sunset looked back to her friends, “You all have nothing to worry about from my roommate!” she insisted. “She’s a perfectly ordinary girl with a lot of time and money on her hands, nothing more.” And as long as none of you MEET her, that’s the story I’m sticking with.
“Sunny!” A deep female voice called out in a bubbly tone. “You didn’t tell me you were meeting your friends for lunch!”
Okay, but WHY though?! Sunset thought loud enough that hopefully some deity or the universe or something heard and understood they/it were making her life even more difficult than usual… and that was a pretty high bar at this point.
Faces were suddenly torn from Sunset and pointed at the source of the voice. Rarity and Pinkie let out gasps of excitement followed by girlish squeals. The two women clearly taking note of Chrysi’s black, but oddly lacy dress with a big black bow on the front, two smaller red bows below that, and a pattern of flowers and dark stained-glass windows above the frilly edge of her skirt that ended about knee level. Chrysi somehow had a pair of leggings that continued the stained-glass and floral look that went down to a pair of laced up black platform boots that sported two pairs of belt buckles on the side. If Chrysi was wearing a veil and sad expression instead of pink heart-framed glasses and a cute-as-a-button smile, she’d look like the trendiest person at a funeral.
Sunset took quick notes of the expressions of her friends. As expected, Rarity and Pinkie looked completely won over by Chrysi’s outfit alone. The sudden arrival clearly unnerved Fluttershy, but she, too, looked like either Chrysi’s outfit or demeanor had quickly softened her opinion as she was only somewhat hiding behind Sunset’s chair. Applejack and Rainbow Dash maintained an air of caution about them while Twilight mostly just seemed perplexed by this sudden new arrival.
Princess Twilight, though… Princess Twilight looked like someone was doing a jig over her grave… No. She looked like an endless conga line of people were somehow river dancing across her grave as she stared at Chrysi with eyes seemingly a mix of fear and anger.
Sunset pushed her own trepidations at least far enough away that they wouldn’t manifest on her face. “And there she is!” Sunset said in a cheerful voice as if she wasn’t dreading the fallout from this fateful meeting. Of course, she knew she’d probably need a good proverbial radiation scrub after today if it continued at this pace.
.
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Rein it in, Twi. No need to trash the coffee shop in a magic-fueled anti-Chrysalis rage.
This can only go well... right? I mean, it's not like the alternate version of this person tried to take over the home of another species and use them as food. They're obviously a good person.
"Soooo... How about those pod people, hmm?"
"Well, they make better conversation than the crack-whores, at least."
"That's two for two, I knew it!"
"Please don't encourage her... Both of you."
Still, it’s whatever I say against my friend’s paranoia…
Good luck.
Of course.
Dammit Pinkie...
Accurate.
And the thing is, I have no idea which ones she ISN'T on.
... You and reality had a divorce, didn't you?
Of course it is.
Yup.
Oh my.
Is there ANY answer to that question that's a good one?
... That's, unsettling.
... I feel like you're more hyper than usual.
As insane as this story and its author are, this isn't that kind of fic. Although given time, something LIKE that will eventually pop up no doubt.
This a jab at Anon-a-miss?
I love shit like this.
... I feel like Spike is the only sane one here. And he's a talking dog.
Because the universe hates you and finds your frustration hysterical.
... I don't know how to react to that.
For understandable reasons considering her history with Equestrian Chrysalis.
Aaand of course you end it here.
Anyone want to place bets on how long it will take to convince Twi that changelings would likely not have shapeshifting this side of the mirror and would have no reason to even come here? My guess is 20 min minimum.
Pipe down, Twilight, and stop projecting.
I'm half hoping that this Chryssie is actually in contact with the equestrian Chryssie and starts trolling Twilight hard.
This is a really funny story. I especially liked the "All of the crimes" bit
Sunset's friends sure do have wild imaginations don't they? Also, once again Pinkie is the most terrifying thing in the story. I'll be looking forward to how the coming conversation is going to go. Their reactions to Chrysie in the next chapter ought to be a good driving factor for the story's future.
Sunset meet Murphy, Murphy Sunset
I'm entirely certain they've been doing that their entire lives, and that is portal is only ever closed to them when the camera's watching.
Do you think she doesn't like the dress?
So much shade being thrown I can't help but laugh!
Love how they completely realize the stupidity behind "Anon-a-miss" without it even occurring!
The universe, she just loves taking a dump on Sunnybuns!
Love the update!
You sure you're not addicted to anything Sunset? :P
>>EQG Chryssie appears
YOU...!
Twilight:
8689322
Chrysi's comments are just enough on the edge that even if she's native to Earth, she clearly knows about Equestria, and even some of what happens there. Exactly how she knows, if so, remains to be seen.
If she really is Chrysalis, there's no reason she couldn't have her magic at this point. There's been so much bleed-through from Equestria that random non-Element Bearers are getting magic. So there's no reason Chrysalis couldn't still have her power. For that matter, Chrysi could be a magically-augmented disguise whiz if that's true and she's human.
So, really, nothing's off the table as far as I can see. Which is only going to make Princess Twilight even more paranoid, especially if Chrysi decides to troll the Princess, no matter which version she ultimately is.
And thus, Pinkie Pie broke reality.
Sunset, it is going to be a LONG day. And that's saying something, because I don't know HOW this day can get any worse, besides someone strangling chrysalis. Or vice versa.
8690581
That's actually a reference to the popular theory for pinkie's "just a hunch!" bits in the first equestria girls. Not sure if it was intentional though.
8689188
Are we SURE this is even the alternate version, and not the OG though?
What the hell kinda trash is she wearing?
8689364
I believe Sunset lives across the hall from Murphy
8691225
And just threw her a party.
Whoa, Sunset's friends are really invasive
By the way, I think you mean 'Faces were.'
i.imgur.com/ZHmHih5.png
I need the next chapter to this shit in my life.
Excellent chapter.
8691362
Fixed! Thanks!
I know this is a slam against Anon-A-Miss. But we are talking about Sunset "Photoshop" Shimmer here. If anything Anon-A-Miss doesn't work because it's too subtle for her.
8693835
And somehow that "photoshop" job worked, so... what does that say of the rest of the cast?
8694998
At best - they are emotional teens.
At worst - they are just that gullible.
8695055
I wish we could use the gullible teens excuse, but alas, Luna fell for it too. Maybe if she didn't keep it so dark in her office she could have seen it better.
I somewhat called it.
It wasn't the exact reaction I predicted, but it wasn't the same reveal either.
And this way is SO much better.
The bespectacled-wearing Twilight frowned.
Either bespectacled or spectacle-wearing.
Love it.
8699568
And, yes... I was pretty proud of that line. 
Fixed, thanks!
Sunset x Chrysalis
ship them
SHIP THEM
SHIP THEM
No more chapters? It was just getting so good!
Oh well, an absolutely lovely story anyway.
Oh! I get it!
This looks dead. Like, not NCR trooper in Legon territory pretending to be dead dead, but the shot multiple times with the BFG and curbstomped sort of dead. And that’s sad.
8813833
I've got pieces of the next chapters written, but I have a ton of other ongoings and have been a bit busy outside writing as of late. I mean, this has a lot higher chance of getting attention sooner than my other stuff and I have yet to fully abandon a project.
8821522
Huh. Neat.
I feel like every line of this fic keeps getting more ridiculous (in a good way) and I feel like we have long lost our common sense so we keep going just to see what happens.
Ultimately that is the goal of a writer. To make the reader eager or curious to see what happens next. There are no glaring flaws to distract me from this.
I guess you've won me over for the now. Hope this fic does well. I suspect Chrysalis might be lying and actually be from Equestria. Still gotta know why she got a gun or what she's up to.
Well took a day and I read all of it. Needs an update.
8798317
According to earlier chapters one of the reasons Sunset moved to her shady apartment was that there was a coffee shop on the way to school. Someone is in denial...
8691018
Gothic Lolita
8938658
That's a pretty hilarious alternative explanation there.
8690704
Actually that’s canon. Ending scene in one of the shorts.
8985565
Don't you just love Pinkie?
Is that an actual drink?
9011079
"Jakchammer" is a name I often see at random cafes and coffee drive-thrus. Usually, it's coffee with a buncha espresso shots and then stuff to make it sweet ontop of all that bitter. There's likely no exact recipe, but you can replicate the experience with a tall cup of strong coffee, 5 or more shots of espresso, milk or creme, and then some caramel or chocolate syrup or however you want to sweeten the drink