"I've got crabs."

Those three little words, spoken to Rainbow Dash over the phone, set Canterlot High School on fire.

Because even though most of the student body has forgiven Sunset Shimmer for her past transgressions and she has more friends than ever now, some gossip is just too juicy to ignore.

Besides, everybody's more than a little curious as to the finer details--and who else might be dealing with the same problem.

(Rated Teen for discussion of sensitive topics.)

Something's been bothering Sunset Shimmer for a while now.

How can there be a human version of Princess Celestia who's in her early forties, when Princess Celestia herself is thousands of years old?

The Rainbooms catch wind of Celestia and Luna's upcoming family reunion, and decide to crash it.

What they find there is...disturbing.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/NtX01an.png[/img]

(Clean family-friendly comedy with adorable Celestia being adorable, absolutely nothing explicit) Now with youtube readings! The Gentlemanly Reading by The Magpie, the Scientific-Plushie-Method reading by HanaYoriUta, And the Manly Reading by CaptainBron3y!

Should you find yourself a visitor to Equestria, it would benefit you to be able to tell a pony's rubby-tubby from his or her boop-button and fuzzy-wuzzy. Herein is your definitive guide, written by an expert upon the science. Published with the royal approval of Her Royal Majesty Princess Luna and the silent tolerance of Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia.

Published by the Royal Canterlot Publishing House for the Royal Equestrian Diplomatic Mission to Earth. For human audiences only. No alicorns (or humans) were harmed in the making of this guide.

Inspired by this thread by Nuke

Welcome, to the biggest collection of sexual innuendos that you will ever experience in your life. Because sometimes, situations are ambiguous. Sometimes we need to write something silly to get us out of a writing slump. Sometimes, ponies interact in the most inappropriate sounding ways possible. Don't act like you haven't seen it before, besides; who doesn't love a good sex joke every now and then?

It's just genetic for the Apple Family girls to have large breasts. Granny Smith has them, Applejack has them, and now Apple Bloom has developed hers. But once her bust comes in in full and others begin treating her differently, she realizes that perhaps it's not as much of a "gift" as she once believed.

Rated T for partial nudity and discussion of breasts. There is no sexual content in this story, the tag is strictly because Moderators demanded it.

After the daily mountain of paperwork that results from the insanity that is Ponyville, Ivory Scroll has had enough, and has made a list forbidding things that Ponyville citizens are forbidden from doing. A one shot of surprisingly epic proportions, written in the dead of night.

I always loved my little brother. He has always been one of the friendliest, sweetest, and most unique colts you would ever meet. But I always had the knowledge that he was different, and a lot of ponies would hate him for it. It wasn't until this most recent spring that the cruel reality of the world would break him down. From that moment on, Celestia could only tell what his fate would bring. My name is Fluttershy, and this is the story of my brother, Mockingbird.

Rated Teen: For language, strong homophobic slurs, violence, and sexual content.

Special thanks to thedarkprep, OfTheIronwilled, and Wireframe for helping me proofread, edit and revise.

Cover art by the lovely miss Dotterall (Head over to her deviant art account and give her work the much needed praise she deserves!)

Now on YouTube!

Twilight Sparkle receives a new book from Discord chock-full of interesting and unknown facts about draconequi. How fascinating!

Nothing sinister about that, right?

Sometimes Pinkie sees the world in ways that others don't. To her, a bendy drinking-straw might serve as a debonair traveling companion, and a humble bag of flour might offer a comforting shoulder to cry on.

But what would happen if that straw, and that bag of flour, came to see each other as more than mere support for Pinkie? What if a flame of raw, unbridled passion began to burn between them?

Wonder no more, gentle reader! For within these pages lies a tale parody of tragic love in the tradition of such timeless classics as Romeo and Juliet and/or Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. But be warned, for within ye shall find such passion as to stir thy soul, regardless of whether thou art spending this Hearts and Hooves day nestled in thy lover's arms, or tucking into a resplendent tub of ice cream by thy lonesome...

Proofreading and best lines by Moosetasm! Proofreading and extreme assistance with the ending by Present Perfect!
Art sourced from here and here and here.
Featured on Equestria Daily 25Feb.2016

Trixie and Twilight decide the time is right to finally, finally, explore the wonderful magic of intercourse, and together they share a very special evening.

(Cover art found on Google, from Yurifanboy67 on Deviantart)