When Kindness Met Hatred

by Dramapony

Chapter 6: Lunchtime Confrontation

Chapter Six: Lunchtime Confrontation

"...And that's what led up to today." At that time we had just reached the outside entrance into Ponyville. Twilight unexpectedly froze like a mannequin, her face looking like she witnessed an innocent foal being abused by a school teacher. A very thin whisper of breath was the only sound she was able to make. Her violet eyes moistened on their own accord.

"Is all of this really true, Fluttershy?" she asked. "Out of all the ponies in Equestria, all of this has to be happening to you and your brother?"

I forced myself to nod. "I just don't know what to do, Twilight. There's a part of me that wants to reunite my family, but then... I don't know. I just feel so angry, all at the same time."

"You should feel angry," Twilight said as we started walking again. "Fluttershy, your own family turned against him with hateful motives. It would be wiser to take legal action for what they're doing."

A mortified expression engulfed my face. Why would Twilight even suggest fighting against my own parents, when there could've still been a chance for hope? "W-What do you mean?"

"You can call them to be tried," she explained. "You live as an independent. Even if you are of your parents' flesh and blood, you can still call them to a hearing, if they are threatening you, or other relatives."

"Twilight! Are you suggesting that I put my own family on trial? No, no, I can't; it just doesn't seem right."

She hooked her hoof onto my shoulder. "Fluttershy, it may not seem right, but to me, it sounds like they're up to doing some very illegal things."

"What kind of illegal things?"

Twilight's eyes fell into my own. "You remember on Saturday, when I told you about my appointment with Luna?"

"Yes, of course," I answered.

"Well, we've been doing some extra investigating, and we believe that the vandalism issue may be connected to your father's organization." Her voice became stern, like she forced herself to tell me this.

That couldn't have been true. Strong denial began shaking my head. "Twilight, I don't know what to say. I'm not sure if I can possibly believe that."

Twilight took a very deep breath. "I'm sorry to tell you that, but I'm not lying. And to be honest, I don't think you can just make all of this stop by trying to reason with them. You have to wake up to reality, Fluttershy. You and Mockingbird can be in a lot of danger right now! Very bad things have happened to ponies who tried reasoning with criminals; I don't want the same thing to happen to you."

So much concern. I was always intimidated whenever somepony felt like they had to come down hard on me, but I still realized that they were doing it because they cared. I just had to take what she said with a grain of salt.

"Twilight, thank you," I answered. "I appreciate that you want what's best for me. But the thought of it all seems so unbearable. I guess if I don't have a choice, I would be open to your suggestion. I just don't like thinking about it."

To this day, as I'm telling you all of this, I am still stunned by my response. I couldn't tell whether it was anger, rebellion, sisterly love, or justice that made me say that. All I could feel was the lioness within me leaving from her resting spot, and going out in search of her enemy.

Twilight wrapped her foreleg around my shoulders, pulling me in for a sympathetic hug. "I don't like thinking about those things either." She sighed in, what sounded like, regret. "But as a princess I have to understand when a true injustice is being committed, and the right action to take for it. I care about all of Equestria, and I don't want to see anypony be mistreated. Especially not my friends."

I masked on a smile with a nod. "I understand. But please just promise me that you won't tell anypony else? Mockingbird might think I'm a terrible sister if he finds out that I outed him to you. If you wouldn't mind, of course."

"You don't have to worry, Fluttershy," Twilight assured. "His secret is safe with me. You have my oath as a friend. 'Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.'" I didn't even feel the need to thank her. Once she sealed it with Pinkie Pie's unbreakable vow, that was all the proof I needed for her to be trusted.

"Um, excuse me, ladies? May I assist you?" We didn't even notice at first, but once we heard the voice of a unicorn waiter, we realized that we had already arrived at the café.

Twilight stepped forward. "Uh, yes. I had a reservation for 12:30."

He skimmed down his black book behind his podium. "Ah, yes, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Please, right this way." Levitating some lunch menus in his aura, he escorted us to our awaiting table, which was occupied by a slightly impatient Spike.

"There you are, Twilight," he called. "It's about time you got here, it felt like forever."

"Sorry, Spike, but I didn't think that I was gone for that long," Twilight apologized. I smiled at the assistant and waved my hoof, thinking it would perhaps brighten up his mood. Telling from the bags under his swollen eyes, it looked like he needed it. I noticed that I was successful when he returned with his own smile and wave of his claw.

We both took our seats as the waiter gave us our menus. "Okay, I will give you a few minutes to decide on your order."

"Uh, actually, there has been a last minute addition to our party," Twilight interrupted. "There's going to be about two other ponies joining us soon."

He nodded. "I see. Very well, no problem." He hauled over two more chairs and a small table, via magic, conjoining them next to us. With a grin, he turned and left us alone.

Spike was the first among us to start the conversation. "So, Fluttershy, long time no see."

I turned my head to the young drake at my side, smiling warmly. "I know, Spike, I've missed talking with you. How have things been?"

He yawned rather deeply as if he wanted to fall into hibernation. "Very tiring. Who knew Twilight's coronation would mean more work for me, huh?" His scaly lids started to roll down his eyeballs before rapidly snapping back up. "But, even if I am only getting five hours of sleep every night, it is still worth it!"

Only five hours? My mind thought. He was no older than most of the little fillies and colts around town—if not, younger. There was no way he could have possibly survived day to day with so little rest. The poor little guy. I frowned a little. "Oh, Spike, you have to take care of yourself. Surely, your personal health is more important than helping Twilight."

Twilight nodded. "That's exactly what I've been trying to tell him. I don't think what he's doing is good for him."

Spike rolled his eyes. "I told you that I can handle it, Twilight. I'm your number one assistant, I will never let you down."

My friend sighed, likely knowing that there was no way in trying to persuade her loyal companion. "Just promise me you'll try to fit more sleep in. I'm actually getting very concerned."

The dragon rubbed a thin layer of crust from the corner of his eyes before yawning a second time. With obvious reluctance, he grumbled, "Ugh, okay, I'll go to bed early tonight. So, why do we need two other chairs?"

"Fluttershy's brother will be eating with us," Twilight said. "He's also meeting with Big Macintosh for lunch."

Spike raised a brow. "Oh, you mean that pony you mentioned to me and Princess Luna on Saturday night? What was his name again?"

"Mockingbird," I said. "He is very nice. I think you will like him."

"I hope he does," said a voice from behind. I lightly jumped and turned to see Mockingbird standing right behind me.

Though the surprise was harmless, I still felt like I had to briefly catch my breath. "Oh, Mockingbird, you startled me. How long have you been there?"

"Just got here," he answered. "I left the house not long after you did, and don't worry, I made sure Angel was inside."

"Thank you."

He trotted up, taking the empty seat on my right.

Twilight gave a friendly wave. "Hello, Mockingbird, how have you been lately?"

"Everything's going fine, Twilight, thank you for asking," Mockingbird said. His attention drifted toward the dragon who was still considered foreign to him. An action that Twilight apparently noticed.

"Oh, Mockingbird, this is Spike, my assistant," Twilight said.

"Number ONE assistant," Spike corrected.

Mockingbird extended his hoof across me and offered it to the little dragon. "Very nice to meet you, Spike. As you probably already know, I'm Mockingbird, Fluttershy's younger brother."

"Awesome." Spike curled his claw into a fist and gave a hoof bump to my brother. "Welcome to town. Maybe I'll see you around some more."

"Maybe. Depending on how long I'll be here." I could see his face grow more quiet and preserved.

I heard the sound of Twilight gulping back on her own saliva. "Well, hopefully you will get that sorted out, soon." She then looked at me as if to send the same message into my mind.

"Is this the colt that you're supposedly dinning with, sir?" asked the waiter's voice from behind. I looked around to see Big Macintosh, dusted in a thin layer of earth. Despite the filth in his coat, I saw something oddly different about his overall appearance: he had his mane combed back, and I could have sworn that I whiffed at least a tiny bit of cologne.

"Eeyup," he answered, circling around the table and taking his seat in the chair opposite Mockingbird. Upon eye contact, Macintosh greeted Mocking with an awkward smile, looking like he wanted to appear friendly but was worried about humiliating himself. It was very similar to a smile that I always do whenever I'm nervous around other ponies.

Mockingbird simply nodded in recognition of his appearance. "Hey, good to see you."

"Eeyup." His voice sounded like it raised up an octave. But that never usually happened with him.

The waiter cleared his throat. "Are we all ready to order?"

"Um, actually," I nervously began. "If it's okay with you, can we maybe have a few more minutes? I'm sorry, it's just that we didn't have a chance to look at the menus much and—" He cut me off with a stopping hoof gesture.

"It's alright, I'll come back later."

---

From that point on, a good half-hour passed. Over my salad and Twilight's sandwich, we sat chatting idly over several things. Nothing really relevant, but rather casual subjects that friends often discuss: opinions of events around town, bits of news we each heard from the others, even what's been causing trouble in our lives.

Spike would occasionally jump on to contribute, whenever he wasn't about to doze off. He ordered a plate of hay fries with a large latte; it looked like he really needed the caffeine. I was very surprised myself that he didn't comically drop his head onto the table in a sudden deep sleep, like he usually did when he was exhausted.

The only really quiet ones at the table were Big Macintosh and Mockingbird. I'm not sure how to exactly describe it, but the two stallions did almost nothing, except sit there mute. It was like they were waiting for one another to start speaking. I didn't get it. Were they only able to comfortably talk when they were alone? It appeared so.

At least it did appear so until Big Mac randomly asked, "So, Mockingbird, are ya enjoying Ponyville so far?"

After taking a sip of lemonade, Mockingbird placed his tall glass down near his half eaten bagel and sighed. "Yeah, I guess it's okay. Quiet little town. It's kind of a nice break from all the craziness in Cloudsdale."

Mac nodded. "Oh, so what's it like living up there?"

The pegasus shrugged, answering with a dry, monotone voice, "Well, it has its pros and cons. It's almost always sunny because you're above the clouds that make all the rain and snow. So if you enjoy lots of sunlight, you can never get too much of it. On the other hoof, the clouds are very easy to stumble off of, because they always break apart and leave a lot of cliffs."

It made me cringe to think about it. I know that I can fly, but just the thought of falling off a cloud is such a scary thought. Which is why I prefer to stay grounded.

After taking a bite of his apple fritter, Big Macintosh continued asking the questions. "So, do ya have much experience with managing the weather?"

"What do you mean?" Mockingbird returned, sounding like he really didn't feel like talking at all.

"Well, I was just curious," Big Mac answered. "Is weather something that all pegasi learn in their lives, or does it come later on?"

My brother bit his lip, taking a breath. "Weather is something that we learn in school. We learn about how it's made and controlled, then we figure out later on if it's apart of our special talent."

"But that's not the case for you?"

Mocking shook his head. "I didn't exactly excel in my weather science courses. I slept through most of my lectures and barely passed with C's."

"It wasn't as bad as hardly being able to fly," I uttered. They both looked at me. Naturally reacting, I shielded my face with my mane. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt."

Mockingbird smiled, patting my shoulder. "It's fine, Shy." He turned back to Big Mac, his voice sounding much more friendly, welcoming and conversational. "But she is right, though. They make fun of you a lot for being a weak flyer up there." I am living evidence of that fact. Flight camp was never a pleasant time for me.

The earth stallion frowned. "That sounds terrible. Just because somepony's different, that doesn't mean they deserve to be teased."

"Well I was lucky enough to be a decent flyer," Mockingbird said. "But never good enough to have a talent that involved weather or flying. It's almost rare to find pegasi like that."

Twilight had a puzzled look on her face as she inquired, "Now, Mockingbird, I'm a little confused; I thought Fluttershy told me that you graduated school a year early. How were you able to do that with low grades?"

Mockingbird crossed his forelegs and reclined. "I joined a special program. It was something that helped me get my major requirements out of the way early, so I would be eligible enough for a diploma. It's something that's only available if you do well enough in certain subjects."

Twilight washed down a bite of her daisy sandwich with iced tea, nodding with interest. "I see, so what subjects did you do well in?"

The pegasus sat back up straight. "Well, obviously I did excellent in the fine arts. They were really the only subjects that I was actually good at. I mean, I did okay with writing and history, but I was never able to concentrate, or enjoy them, as much as my music courses."

"Oh, well given your special talent, I suppose I could've guessed that." The alicorn looked down with a pair of light rosy cheeks. Twilight never liked it if she felt like she was asking a question with an obvious answer.

Big Macintosh took back the lead. "Now, do you do any singing for work?"

There wasn't an answer. Mockingbird lost the casual smile he had during the talk. He turned to the side, gazing at the violets along the side walk. Why didn't he want to respond? Was it because of the slip he received? I wasn't entirely sure, but it could have been. It could have been perfectly understandable why he didn't want to talk about work.

To end the dead silence I answered Big Macintosh for him. "Uh, Mockingbird is going to attend school in the fall for some professional training." I put on a smile in an attempt to keep things looking natural.

Mac leaned in closer. I've never seen him more engaged in a conversation. "And where are you going for that?"

Mockingbird's attention awoke from its nap, probably realizing that he was accidentally being rude. I could tell this because his voice sounded somewhat apologetic while saying, "I was granted a full-paid scholarship to The Canterlot Academy of Music."

Twilight's eyes brightened with stars. "You got into a Canterlot school?!" The excitement in her voice sounded like she was talking to Celestia's very next student.

Spike rubbed at his temples, clenching his eyes. "Ow! Twilight, not so loud. I'm still recovering from yesterday's study session."

She smiled sheepishly at him. "Oh, sorry," she apologized, her magic bringing Spike a small container of aspirin from her saddle bag. He poured two tablets into his palm and washed them down his throat with what was left of his beverage.

Twilight continued, "It's just that the Canterlot schools and universities are amongst the highest ranked in Equestria. You have to be very talented in whatever you do to get accepted."

"Well, I'm not at all surprised," Big Macintosh agreed. "You should've seen him at the party, his voice is pretty darn amazing." I was beginning to wonder if this was the real Big Mac and not a changeling. I have never seen him compliment any pony like that before. Why was my brother so special?

I glanced at Mockingbird to see that it was now his turn to blush. His mouth muscles tensed as he fought against what might have been an embarrassing smile. "Thank you, Big Mac. I can tell that you're also pretty darn amazing at getting dirty." The stallions laughed in a joking manner.

"If by dirty you mean bucking apples like a real stallion, then thank you for noticing," the farmer responded. He took some slow breaths to regain control. "But seriously, what do you do now? Do you work?"

The smile on Mocking's face retreated. His hoof circled around the brim of his glass for about a minute. "I... uh, used to, but not anymore. I recently lost my job."

The whole table fell quiet. None of us could come up with a proper response. Mac looked down at him, his lids closing half way with his head shaking. "I'm, uh, really sorry to hear that. Very unfortunate."

"I hope you find another job soon," Twilight wished him. "If you want, I can probably recommend you to a place, or something."

My ears perked up. "Can you really do that, Twilight?"

She nodded. "Being a princess has its advantages. I now know a lot of merchants because of my duties."

"Well, what if he is offered something right here in town?" Big Macintosh suggested.

Mockingbird squinted his eyes. "Here in town? Where?"

Big Mac wrested his elbows on the table and put his two hooves together. "We're always looking for some assistance at Sweet Apple Acres. The orchard is about to enter the beginning of harvesting season, so this is usually one of our busiest times of the year. The pay is not extraordinary, but if you want some temporary working experience, you can definitely come by the farm and help out."

Mockingbird scratched his head. "How often would you want me to come by?"

"Every day, unless there are not many chores, but that is a rare exception. You will also have to be willing to get dirty a lot." So nice of him to offer. This would've certainly led to a good change of pace for Mockingbird. It must have gotten so boring, doing nothing all day around the house.

"It would give you a good chance to get out of the cottage," I said encouragingly to my brother. "You know, if you really want to."

There was a pause. Mockingbird breathed another sigh. I could tell it didn't look like he was all that interested in the job. Which was understandable to me. I could never see the colt, who enjoyed his music and performing, to work a filthy day of hard labor on a farm.

He then shrugged. "Can I at least think about it? I'm not very experienced with farm work."

"Eeyup," Big Macintosh answered. "If you decide you want to, just arrive at Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow morning at around 6:30. We start working right on the dot; no sooner, no later."

My brother nodded. "Okay, I'll think about it. Thank you for the offer."

The lunch was going much better than I expected. I got to spend some time with Twilight, Mockingbird was starting to open up and have a friendly talk with all of us, he even received a very generous job offer from Big Macintosh. I found it to be a rather therapeutic meal. Just a chance to get myself away from all the madness and try to enjoy myself. But then, it just had to happen.

Big Macintosh looked over Mocking's shoulder to have his own eyes pop on cue. He started to frantically push himself out of his seat. "Uh, I'm sorry, but I gotta go."

Mockingbird scrunched his brows. "Wait, what did I say?"

Mac shook his head. "Nothing, it wasn't you. I just really need to go. You should, too." He pivoted around only to end up falling to the ground.

"I don't understand, Big Mac? What's wrong? What's the rush?" Mockingbird asked, now seriously sounding worried. He received his answer with a deep and unexpected voice addressing them.

"Having a nice little date, are we?" it joked. It belonged to a youthful pony who I didn't hear around town very often. We all looked to come face-to-face with a white pegasus stallion, with a greasy black mane.

"What are you doing here?" Mockingbird asked in an anxious, shaky tone. He looked and sounded like he was about to panic and run like at the party.

"Oh, hey, hero. Funny how we keep running into each other, isn't it?" The intruder chuckled.

Big Macintosh stumbled to his hooves with his nostrils flaring. "Milky Way! I thought I told you to leave me alone! Go away!"

The white colt raised his hoof. "Whoa, whoa. Let's take it easy. I just want to deliver a simple message, that's all."

Twilight rose from her seat. "Excuse me, we are having a private lunch."

Once he met his eyes with hers, Milky Way immediately snapped to a position that mocked respect, and bowed. "Oh, Princess Twilight Sparkle, so sorry to have interrupted your oh so glorious Ponyville feast." He laughed some more.

Twilight shaped her brows in a V-formation. "I'm being serious! You're clearly bothering my friends and making them very uncomfortable. Please go."

"I have every right to this public place as you do!" he snapped back. "Or are you just going to abuse your power and dominate me, like you princesses always do?"

Responding in a form of defense, Spike jumped up and stormed up next to the bully. "Hey! Don't you ever say that about Twilight! She's the smartest, friendliest and most respectful alicorn there is. You should know better when you're talking to her!"

"Zip it, you disgusting reptile!" Milky Way scowled, pushing Spike down. The baby dragon quickly picked himself up and dusted the dirt off his tail. He then stomped back to his chair, mumbling what I guessed were obscenities.

No. I couldn't take any of that. Insults, rudeness, carelessness, pushing others around. If these happened to any of my friends, it has always been just enough to snap me into defense mode. Enough, was enough.

"Do you think you can say those nasty things and get away with it!?" I yelled at Milky Way, as I abruptly shot up from my chair. With my hooves feeling like iron and my teeth grinding, I advanced on him to the point where our muzzles pressed, my eyes menacingly staring into the very center of his pupils.

He just smiled. "Oh, aren't we the frisky little one, today? I never expected this from you, Fluttershy."

Hearing my name, I loosened the tension of my face, but didn't erase my anger. "How do you know my name?"

He looked at me like I just said I wasn't a pegasus. "What? You don't remember me? Milky Way. Zeus' son. My dad is friends with your dad! He told me all about you."

I drew my head back. To tell the truth, I knew he sounded familiar when Mockingbird first told me about his encounter with him. The problem was I just couldn't place my hoof on it. Maybe because those memories of him were ones that I'd rather not remember.

"Oh, I remember now," I said, dumbstruck.

We heard the waiter's very angry voice from the side. "Excuse me, Sir! I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave!"

My pupils darted around to see that all the ponies out on the terrace were now looking at us. The last thing I ever wanted to do was cause a scene. So embarrassing. But at the time, I didn't feel like backing off.

"Just give us a moment, please," I told the waiter through the corner of my mouth. "He has something he needs to tell us." The service pony then backed to the side, before I refocused on the ride stallion in front of me.

"What do you want?" I hissed, coldly.

Milky Way finally fixed his face to a semi-calm expression. "My dad and Barrister both want to know if you and your brother still plan on coming this Saturday. Seven o'clock, no later."

I realized that I actually didn't give my father's supposed appointment much thought. After that confrontation during brunch, I just didn't feel very comfortable with going. I couldn't risk facing another shaming from my own family. But on another thought, when was I going to have another chance to have my mother, father and brother under the same roof again? When else would I have had the chance to persuade them? I had to make my decision and fast.

I took a deep breath and gave him my answer. "If I say that we'll go, will you leave us alone?"

He nodded.

I sighed. Answering felt like making an unsure decision on a big exam. If I answered, would it be correct? Would things turn out for the best or the worst? "Okay, then. We'll be there on Saturday."

"Excellent!" Milky Way exclaimed, trotting away backwards in a celebratory fashion. "But just remember, my dad also wants you to know that worse things can happen if a promise or demand is not met. So be sure to not disappoint us, or we might just punish you." He finally exited through the iron gate and flew off. My lioness could now sense her enemy in the air.

The atmosphere of the restaurant lost its life. The ponies quietly returned to their meals as if they tried to shake off the confrontation that just occurred. I looked back at the table to see Spike, Twilight, Mockingbird and Big Macintosh with their own concerned faces. The waiter, still by my side, looked like he just wanted to be done with the day.

"Miss, is everything alright?" he asked me.

After a heavy set of breaths, I decided that we experienced enough drama for the day. With lunch officially ruined, I could sense that none of us wanted to stay any longer.

I mumbled to the waiter, "Check, please."

---

Mockingbird kept a good distance ahead of me as we made our way back to the cottage door. Like he forgot that I was behind him, he opened the entrance and threw it shut behind him, without even waiting for me. Oh, I hope he isn't too upset. Just one happy day couldn't have been too much to ask for.

"Ugh, I cannot believe it, Fluttershy," said Twilight, distress straining her voice. "The fact that anypony can just come up to me and think they can say those rude things to me and my friends is far beyond my knowledge."

I kept my head down, but still patted her back with the gentleness of my support. If only I answered my dad sooner, that probably never would've happened. "Just try to forget it ever happened and move on, Twilight. That's what I generally try to do."

She looked at me. "I know, but I am a princess; I understand that ponies have different opinions about me, but to do that in a public place was just inappropriate." We stopped when we arrived on my welcome mat. "Are you still sure about this meeting, Fluttershy?"

I shook my head. "I'm actually starting to wish that I refused." I tried to take a rare breath of confidence. "But, I have some optimism. If I can reform Discord, then I can probably handle my family, right?"

Twilight glanced away. I could tell that what she was going to say next was just an attempt to hide her skepticism. "Well, alright. I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I hope so, too. But if I can befriend them and show them how much we can still love each other, I think there may be some hope."

Twilight sighed. "Okay, Fluttershy." She started to turn away down the hill before pausing. "Just promise me something?"

I nodded.

"Promise me that you will tell me how it goes. Tell me everything they talk about, plan and what they want for Mockingbird. I don't want to have to look in on your family's privacy, but they are now under my radar. I can't take any chances."

At that moment, I was beginning to understand why Twilight had to take that sort of measure. Even while I was reforming Discord, I never took off my element of harmony at the beginning; I couldn't have been too safe. It wasn't until after he started to really earn my trust as a friend, that I felt safe with removing my necklace. I nodded to her once more.

"Thanks for understanding, Fluttershy. I'll see you around, okay? Good luck, with everything." Twilight waved goodbye and trotted down the path towards town.

I looked down with heavy doubt. I was beginning to wander if this really was all a very bad dream. A very deep hypnotic sleep that was impossible for me to emerge from. At least I wanted it to be.

Once again, I noticed the azalea by my door. The flower was now bending in a 40 degree angle, the red petals fading to a very light pink. If it was a pony, it would've been groveling to me for water.

I should really take care of you. I thought. I still don't know why I didn't, though. It was right there, I could've planted it, but I didn't. Why? It was like all of my misfortunes was just pulling me away from tending to the beauty that could've been.

I'll get to you soon, don't worry. I walked to my door, and turned the knob. My hooves felt like feathers as I lightly trotted into the house. I never tended to the azalea.

Comments

[Reeve]

I like this story... but that chapter was ridiculous, Twilight could have, and maybe even would have, that ass arrested, and since when does BIG mac get pushed around by some weedy little Pegasus, wheres the apple family pride

[thepinkparty]

i recon a family beating will happen in the next chapter

[Shellybox]

3328217 And your picture makes the comment.

[SpikeDark]

''The path our dear Shy is on will be hard and will have many trails but she shall prevail'': codex of harmony paragraph 2b line 3 by Discord the spirit of Chaos

[Dramapony]

3328217

Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that you didn't enjoy this chapter as much as the others. But I'll admit, your reason is pretty understandable. I'll be sure to keep this in mind for my future updates. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, and I hope you are still enjoying the story enough to stick around.

3329437

Did you just come up with that? I love it!

[SpikeDark]

3329878 yes i did and thank you

[Dramapony]

3332479

How you enjoying it, so far?

[SpikeDark]

3335481 I am Super loving it

[Dramapony]

3336566

Specific reasons, please?

[SpikeDark]

3349634 Its a bit to do with the characters and how you have portrayed them and how they react to each other as well as respond and i have to hand it to you doing a Fluttershy perspective must be hard.

[Dramapony]

3350303

doing a Fluttershy perspective must be hard

I literally try to think like her when I'm writing this. The biggest challenge, I think, is trying to sound like Fluttershy while still making my writing sound interesting. I guess in my head cannon, Fluttershy's use of language is more prolific when she isn't speaking with other ponies, but when she puts her words to paper.

[Wireframe]

To answer your question of why I like the story, I generally am interested in these explorations into sexuality and the social and cultural contexts they occur within. It's something I relate to and enjoy exploring. Writing this story from Fluttershy's perspective adds a rather interesting context in which what happens is viewed from a third person and someone generally so shy and timid as well. I'm quite qurious to see where you'll be taking this, and though I'm afraid for the comming chapters, I'm quite hoping that things will get better in the end. From what's we know about Fluttershy and Mockingbird's family so far, this invitation cannot lead to anything good.

I shared Reeve's stance towards Big Mac, whom I generally see as more of a strong if reserved character. I could understand it somewhat if he's quite uncertain about his sexuality or really doesn't want it found out or something in that trend. I somehow doubt ponyville would believe some rude colt over Mac. We don't know enough though, and I'm generally liking the idea of Mocking and Mac trying to date and make something work, as awkward as it may have been so far.

Twilights somewhat handling or rather not being sure how to handle this abusive pegasus kind of is understandable to me and didn't bother me. Well, I'm not fond of characters such as Milky Way, thus wouldn't mind seeing him sent to the moon or soemthing in that trend, but they're supposed to be dislikable I would think. So far assuming show cannon there haven't really been any overly rude or aggressive characters for the mane six to deal with. On top of that she's a recently turned Princess and is still trying to learn how to deal with that. Without any checklists or books to go on Twilight has generally been a bit insecure.

A small personal issue I run into is the use of 'of' instead of have. I expect to read 'have' within a certain context and generally I read it that way too, until I realize the shape of the word doesn't correspond with what I read which causes a break from immersion for me. I guess that's mostly due to what I've been used to reading so far though as I have no idea how general this approach to writing is.

Overall your story is quite the different take on a coltcuddling romance genre as I generally read them and your approach to it has me intrigued. I'm looking forward to seeing where you take it.

[Dramapony]

3368766

Thank you very much for your detailed critique. I will admit, I am far from a perfect writer and this is my first full length story around this topic. As for some characters, like Milky Way, I will say that you are right. I am presenting them as kind of dislikable, but I do plan on developing them further and hopefully give them more depth—or even make them redeemable. Especially with Milky Way. Originally, I was just going to have him make a minor appearance in chapter three, but then I realized that I could probably do more with his character and give an explanation as to why he's such a jackass who should be sent to the moon. But, rest assured, you will learn more about the antagonists in the upcoming chapters.

As for Big Mac, well, I kind of see an unusual interpretation of Big Mac. While I do see him as reserved and strong, I also see him as a rather peaceful stallion who wishes to avoid conflict. When I wrote him trying to get up and flee from the lunch scene, I was hoping to represent that side to him, but I might of over done it. Since we don't actually know too much about Macintosh based on his appearances in the show, I find him to be a very difficult character to write for. But hopefully, I'll get it right eventually.

As for everything else, it's all kind of a working process that I'm experimenting with. As the author, I'm also kind of afraid of publishing the upcoming chapters, because of how the readers may react. I just hope people will be willing to still give this a chance to the very end. I'm currently working on chapter seven and I hope to not keep my readers waiting too long this time. But I do hope you will enjoy the story from where it goes from here.

All feedback is appreciated.

[Dramapony]

3368766

I'll also add that I'm a straight guy writing a coltcuddling story. Which is one of the main reasons why I'm writing from Fluttershy's perspective; I'm trying to show how there is more than one victim in homophobia. Basically how this issue can negatively affect the friends and families of those who identify as LGBTQ. Also, how people may not have a great understanding of how to help, or know exactly what to do when they witness or hear about it. As an ally, I definitely feel a lot like Fluttershy whenever I hear about homophobic attacks. Meaning I want to help, but I'm not sure exactly how to. Most of the time I feel like all I can do is try to comfort and offer words of encouragement. Overall, it's not easy.

[deletingthisaccount]

3057348 Aw, that's alright, we're in the same boat, no need

[Ocelot8]

Has it occurred to anyone to take Discord with her? Shit happens, he would be damn good in a scrap.

[blackdragonepic]

fun of you a lot for being a week flyer up there." I am living evidence of that fact. Flight camp was never a pleasant time for me.

this should use "weak" not "week" :)
keep up the good work, loving it.

[Nameless cow]

OK I don't wanna be a nagger but here in Australia that jerk could of been arrested under the charges of child assault for pushing spike.
For publicly expressing views that are racist, homophobic or otherwise ofencive and putting others down for example calling spike a disgusting reptile and his attitude towards big mac and mockingbird.
For harassment, for example when big mac and twilight told him to leave, especially with big Mac because from what I understand he has repeatedly told him to go.
For making threatening comments, this one explains itself and finally, since he is associated with zeus and barrister, the possible charge of vandalism IF he is taking part of spraying the messages.

I am sorry if this is worded in a incomprehensible way and if my knowledge of auzzie laws is a bit off. I am also sorry if my spike fanboyism overshadows some keys examples and if I left anything out. One bit of critisim, when spike was pushed and insulted, I'm surprised twilight did not say "hey!" or threaten to arrest him under any of the prementioned charges, or atleast show more resistance because otherwise it wont feal realistic.

Just some food for thought.

[Zugthule]

4672400 ah its great to be a Auzzie

[Zugthule]

4160526 you can't always have a god of chaos there to help