• Published 12th May 2014
  • 3,309 Views, 112 Comments

The Sexual (mis)adventures of Twilight and Trixie - RarityEQM



Trixie and Twilight explore the next level of their realtionship

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I get by with a little help from my friends: Rarity

There it was. The Carousel Boutique. Bastion for all things gaudy and ostentatious. It was a veritable melting pot for all things carnal and decadent, and inside, it's mistress; Rarity.

Strangely enough, approaching the building put Twilight in a calmed state. As if the idea of Rarity, taking her hoof and guiding her through this miserable sexual adolescence was almost reassuring. Rarity would know how to fix everything, Twilight was certain of it, and so, the purple unicorn trotted up the steps and gently rapt her hoof across the door. Rarity was there in a flash, beaming her perky, perfect smile, and beckoning Twilight into her home.

"Twilight! Darling! Always good to see you, dear! Please won't you come in? What can I do for you this afternoon?" Rarity squeaked, always delighted to see Twilight. The flustered purple unicorn trotted in slowly and shot Rarity a shaky grin.

"I...um...I have a problem." Twilight stammered nervously. Rarity nodded her head quietly, ushering Twilight through her boutique and into her lounging area, where she gestured for Twilight to have a seat, giving her a warm smile.

"Well, I'd be happy to hel-" Rarity squeaked, before Twilight cut her off.

"IT'S SEX!" She blurted out in a rush.

Rarity stared.

"Beg your pard-"

"I've been trying and trying to get it right, but things just won't work the way they do in the books! I mean, we can't even get our kisses right, and then I got a concussion, and the book just said nibble, but I tried to bite, and she screamed and there was blood everywhere and then a penis shot Spike in the face and Pinkie wanted to make a sex carnival but now I think she's dead, and I just don't know what to do! I'm HORRIBLE at this, Rarity! Horrible! I'm like a sexual tsunami! A disaster! I am a natural sex disaster!" Twilight sobbed.

"........Let me put on some coffee." Said Rarity.



Twilight stared at the fat length of latex and rubber that bobbled between her legs, glistening with lubricant and the glossy sheen of a toy that had just been peeled free of it's box. She slowly glanced to Rarity, who was standing beside her, beaming brightly.

"I am one hundred percent sure, I want nothing to do with this." Twilight said flatly. Rarity gave a quiet giggle, and tapped Twilight on her hip.

"Darling, calm down. The problem here seems to be your confidence in the matter. With this device, you'll find all the confidence you could ever need and then some. This will help you take charge of the situation! You'll be a dominant in no time!" Rarity explained. Twilight frowned. The ...object in question was at least 15 inches long, and as thick as her foreleg. To be honest- it terrified her. Why did Rarity even HAVE something like this? Wait, wait, no. No, that was yet another question Twilight was sure she didn't want answered.

"I am entirely confident I do not want to be attached to this. Plus, I think if I tried to use this it would probably kill Trixie. H, how is this even legal? Shouldn't this be classified as a weapon?" She whimpered. Rarity rolled her eyes.

"Nonsense darling, it's safe as safe can be. Now, all you need do, is rise up on your hind legs, theeeere you go, and thrust your hips forward." Rarity explained cheerfully. Twilight had done just as she'd asked, raising up onto her hind legs with a nervous wobble. She gently thrust her hips forward, watching the glossy black object bounce in front of her.

"This...this is easy..." Said Twilight sheepishly. Rarity beamed.

"Yes, darling, that's it, just like that, now, a little bit harder!" Rarity explained, while Twilight threw her hips forward. The lube soaked toy flew up and slapped her in the face, splattering strawberry flavored gel into her eyes.

"ARRGHHHH!! OH, GOD, RARITY I THINK IT BIT ME!! RARITY!!? RARITY HELP I CAN'T SEE!" Screamed Twilight, holding her hooves out in front of her, and turning sharply left and right, trying to grab onto Rarity for support.

"It's ok, Twilight! Darling, just relax and I'll-"

THUNK. The faux stallionhood collided with something. Hard. This was followed by the unmistakable sound of a body crashing to the floor.

"R, Rarity?!" The blinded Twilight screamed, perking her ears in dread. There was no reply. No...NO this couldn't be happening...Twilight needed to find help- she had to do something quickly! There might still be time to save Rarity! And with that thought in mind, Twilight threw her horn into the air, and teleported to the hospital.

Blinded and scared, however, Twilight's natural instincts took over, and she immediately teleported herself to someplace she knew was safe; 'the library.'

"T, Twilight...Twilight y, you're back...h, Hello Twilight." came a young, frightened voice from behind her. Twilight's ears perked in surprise. This wasn't the hospital...

"Sp, Spike?! Spike I need your help, I think I just killed Rarity!" Twilight whimpered, turning around with her hooves out stretched, trying to feel for the young dragon to help guide her. Spike stared in absolute horror at the massive toy jutting from Twilight's privates.

"Oh...OH GOD IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN! NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE!!!" Spike shrieked. The next sound to greet Twilight's ears was that of a window shattering, followed by the wild screams of a horrified baby dragon. Twilight gave a groan. These events had her day plotted out for her.

A: Restore Vision
B: Check on Rarity
C: Find Spike
D: Purchase first train ticket out of town and never look back.

Author's Note:

Well, Rarity was the sure choice in the matter but....uh....not so much now...