I get by with a little help from my friends: Rainbow Dash Pt 2
There it was; sitting in a clearing of the Everfree forest. Twilight Sparkle's penis. Following a sticky trail of destruction wasn't too hard for Rainbow Dash, but she hadn't expected Twilight's penis to be surrounded by loving children. The Cutie Mark Crusaders. This now constructed a challenge Rainbow Dash had not foreseen.
A large, penis-shaped challenge.
"Heeeey giiiiiiirls." Rainbow Dash crooned as she landed, making slow movements and keeping her distance from the behemoth statue that was nuzzling tenderly into Apple Bloom's side. The three fillies instantly squealed in happiness when Rainbow Dash landed, but none of them moved from their spot.
"Hey Rainbow Dash! Check it out! Apple Bloom found this cool statue thing and it can MOVE! She picked us up and we've been riding it all night long, but now we're kinda taking a break!" Scootaloo called out in a cheerful tone. Rainbow Dash nodded her head slowly but when she took a step forward, the beast immediately turned its mighty penis gaze upon her and Rainbow Dash froze as if she'd turned to stone. Ok. Don't move. Vision based on movement. Got it. This was going to be harder than she thought...
"That's....that's great. Super great. Not at all legitimately terrifying! Hehehe, Uh, so...I have questions. Lots of them." Rainbow Dash called out. She had to take it slow. She didn't want to startle it and she certainly didn't want to excite it. No, she did not want to excite it at all- at least, not anymore than it already was,
"Like how this thing came to life? Ain't got no idea! Sure is fun though!" Apple Bloom exclaimed. Sweetie Belle nodded her head, flashing a vibrant smile before nuzzling into one of the gigantic stone orbs underneath the monster.
"It is a majestic beast." She cooed lovingly. Rainbow Dash winced. Great. They were bonding with it.
"That's all kinds of wrong, Sweetie. Look, guys, just come over here really really slowly, ok? Wheres Applejack and Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow called out, inching her leg forward to try and coax the fillies forward. None of them moved, only giving her curious glances in return.
"I'm gonna say low orbit." Scootaloo chuckled. Apple Bloom gave a displeased little grunt and hopped off the head of the massive pony pride, pointing to the sky in the east.
"Pinkie Pie n' Applejack spooked it! See, we were trying to get Stephanie to turn around and-" Apple Bloom began before Rainbow Dash interjected.
"Stephanie?" Rainbow Dash asked. Apple Bloom nodded.
"Yeah, that's what we named her!" She exclaimed.
"..." Said Rainbow Dash.
"Anyway, they were tryin' ta calm Stephanie down, and I guess they spooked her, cause Stephanie started bouncin' around and bucked 'em both into air way higher than I've evah seen! But Applejack is tougher n' one of Granny Smith's pie crusts that's been left out fer too long. Applejack'll be fine! And Pinkie is made outta springs, ain't she? Anyway, we can't leave yet, we were about to induct Stephanie into the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Shes gonna be our new mascot! She ain't got no cutie mark either! " Apple Bloom squeaked. Rainbow Dash gave a groan and shook her head. She could have been spending the day napping- but nooooo. She had to go out and wrangle three children and a giant pony pounder. Twilight owed her for this; big time.
"Look, um, girls, I think it's time we head back to town, ok? Come on over here, nice and slowly, ok? No uh, sudden movements." Rainbow Dash tried again, but Scootaloo shook her head.
"Aww, you ain't scared of Stephanie, are ya Rainbow Dash? Shes really sweet!! And she's our friend!! " Scootaloo beamed, gently stroking over Stephanie's head with a soft, feathered wing. Stephanie shuddered. Rainbow Dash did too and slooooowly took a step to the side- out of the direct line of fire, hopefully.
"Please don't say that. " Rainbow Dash groused. "Now, um, come on kids, lets get you away from ...um...Stephanie." Rainbow tried again but this time Apple Bloom stood up with an angry growl.
"Why ya'll tryin' ta separate us? Stephanie is our friend, and we got big plans for her!" Apple Bloom announced, climbing up onto Stephanie's back and wrapping her hooves around the rope still attached to Stephanie's 'head'.
"Yeah!! We're gonna ride her to school and show her off to everypony! Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon will be SO jealous! We're gonna be extra popular, cause we plan to give everypony a ride! Even Miss Cherilee, if she wants one!!" Sweetie Belle explained. Rainbow Dash stared with mouth agape. This could not be happening...
"Look, you guys CAN'T keep Stephanie, she's ....uh, w, well she's a giant....I mean three little girls can't ride...You're too young to be...She...er...um...belongs to ...Twilight." Rainbow Dash winced at her explanation. Apple Bloom tilted her head curiously to one side.
"She's Twahlights? Awwww, well maybe she'll still let us induct her into the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Come on girls! Lets return Stephanie back to the library! CUTIE MARK STATUE RETURNERS!! YAY!!" Apple Bloom announced, electing a deep, DEEP sigh of relief from Rainbow Dash. Finally...
"Ok girls, heres the plan. We can't exactly go marching into town with Stephanie, she might...uh...spook some ponies so we're gonna play a special game, alright? Super Sneaky Crusaders, alright? We're gonna sneak in as super quiet as possible. Do not tell anypony about ...um, Twilight's....special.....friend. Ok? This is just between us? Promise?" Rainbow asked nervously and the three girls gave an immediate salute. Rainbow sighed with relief. She figured Twilight would appreciate the added secrecy. Keeping the girls and the giant shlong out of the media's spotlight would make everything go over smoother. Still, getting 'Stephanie' back to the library and without being spotted would be a challenge in and of itself, but Rainbow would cross that bridge when they came to it. First, they had to get out of the forest. Luckily, that was the easy part; all they had to do was follow the sticky trail back to town, and keep 'Stephanie' from getting to excited...
"I assure you, our town isn't normally like this, but we here in Ponyville take care of one and other, and I assure you, we will not rest until we discover who, or what is responsible for this devastation!" Mayor Mare explained, as she trotted in front of her guests; ambassadors from Saddle Arabia. They were visiting Canterlot, when one of them had commented on seeing the delightful 'Sugar Cube Corner'- one of many landmarks popular in town. The Mayor, of course, immediately offered to guide them through the town, before she realized the destruction that had taken place. Now she was quickly and effortlessly spamming her plot kissing skills to the fullest effect.
"This mess will be cleaned up in no time. We are NOT a town that has vandals running lose, and whoever did this will surely pay the price. We're a loving community and we respect our citizens. This is not the sort of thing that happens to us on a daily basis, at all! The town has NEVER degraded into gladiatorial combat over a doll, and we've never had our entire housing structure eaten by parasites! Honest! We're...well we're wholesome, really. Pure. Ponyville is a town of new beginnings, and fresh starts, and- "
"BIG FAT PONY COCK!" Screamed one of the ambassadors, interrupting the mayor and pointing towards the forest. The mayor frowned, and searched her brain for any alternative meanings or perhaps, euphemisms for 'big fat pony cock' Surely there had to be one! Maybe it was a language and translation issue. Maybe it was a silly prank, or a joke from their nation. It couldn't be literal. There was no way it could be literal. PLEASE don't let it be literal. That was the LAST thing she needed. Don't look towards the forest. Don't look towards the forest. Don't look towards the forest.
The mayor looked towards the forest.
Sure enough, a giant erection came barreling out of the woods towards Ponyville, with three children riding gleefully atop it, bouncing, and squealing as the massive cherry popper hurled itself towards them at a terrifying speed.
Awesome.
"GUYS! GUYS COME BACK!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE HER!! APPLE BLOOM! SLOW DOWN!" A voice cried from behind, as Rainbow Dash raced to keep up with the run away horse hose. Yanking as hard as she could on the rope, Apple Bloom managed to drive Stephanie to a skidding, shrieking stop, right in front of the ambassadors and Mayor Mare- who simply stared up in complete confusion. Also horror. There was a LOT of horror.
"W, whoa, whoa there girl, it's ok...it's ooooookay, shhhh, shhhhh..." Apple Bloom crooned lovingly, stroking Stephanie on the head. Rubbing the giant fountain with delicate little hooves and warm little whispers to try and calm her down. The giant penis shuddered.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" Mayor Mare shrieked, stomping a hoof in front of the quartet. Atop the massive meat puppet, the Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at each other, then down towards Rainbow Dash who had just flown up. Rainbow Dash had sworn them to secrecy...
"We're not supposed to tell you. It's Rainbow Dash's special game and no pony is supposed to know about it except for us." Sweetie Belle explained. The Mayor stared. The ambassadors stared. The CMC stared back. Dash's mouth dropped open in horror.
Oh. Celestia. No.
"M, Mayor Mare! Hey, hey girls, hey...Oh....wow. I mean, wow this looks bad. Ummmmm...uhhhhahahahaha, A, Apple Bloom, you uh...you wanna fill the mayor in on what's going on?" Rainbow Dash squeaked nervously. Apple Bloom however, shook her head.
"Ah promised not ta say nothin' bout our special secret game. Mah Sistah is the element o' honesty and Ah ain't gonna disappoint her! I don't go back on my promises and ah promised not ta say nuthin!" She explained. Rainbow Dash gave a nervous smile. The mayor glowered.
"You three fillies, were out in the woods with this...this....this monstrosity, playing a 'special', 'secret' game with Rainbow Dash?" She asked slowly, peering at each of the children, the massive penis and Rainbow Dash who was sweating helplessly.
"YUP!" Beamed Scootaloo, stroking her wings over Stephanie's head once more- who shuddered, wriggled, and exploded in a sticky white mess all over the Rainbow Dash, the mayor and the ambassadors.
"Awww, she sneezed! Is she sick?" Asked Sweetie Belle, cuddling in close to Stephanie, while the mayor looked at herself in disgust.
"WAARRUUUGGGHHH!! IT'S IN MY MOUTH!! IT GOT IN MY MOUTH!! " Screamed the mayor- which was enough to spook the poor fountain. It reared back, tossing the children to the ground and took off running wildly through the streets, leaving the CMC, Rainbow Dash, Mayor Mare, and the Ambassadors sitting in a sticky creamy mess.
"...I can explain this." Whimpered Rainbow Dash.
Mayor Mare glared.
Twilight sighed. If it wasn't one thing it was another. She thanked the messenger at the door to the library, and turned about, trotting quietly into the main room, where Trixie was looking over books. Zecora had gone home, making some comment about walking cocks, Africa, and "Never should have left the tribe for this BS." Twilight would have to talk to her later, but for now, she had other things to deal with.
"Who was that at the door? Was it Rainbow Dash?" Trixie asked. Twilight sheepishly shook her head.
"Ahh...no...no, that was a guard...um...Rainbow Dash is in jail. Bail is set at 42,000 bits and she is really, REALLY mad. " Twilight winced nervously. Trixie groaned and slapped a hoof over her eyes. Could this possibly get any worse?!
"And the penis? Where is Trixie's Pony Plunger?" The blue mage asked. Twilight hung her head with a defeated groan.
"Well, according to the guards, uh, the last time it was seen, it was heading towards Canterlot." She whimpered quietly. Trixie stared at Twilight for a long, long, long time. Her left eye twitched. A giant walking penis with Trixie's magic linked to it. Wonderful.
"Twilight Sparkle. You are by FAR the most, complicated lay, in, Equestria." She hissed darkly and Twilight Sparkle gave a quiet whimper.
"I, I'm sorry, I don't MEAN to be horrible at sex! T, this seems a lot more complex than any of my books have described!" Twilight whined. Trixie rolled her eyes, and turned, bopping Twilight on the nose with a free hoof.
"We'll deal with that later! Right now, we've got to get to Canterlot! There's no telling what Trixie's great and powerful penis might do once it's there!!" She cried- and with that, the two of them raced out the door.
Stats
Page generated in 0.035 seconds
Total duration
956 users online
1,238,394 hits today, 1,996,409 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well.
...
This will either end in disaster, or extremely well. Depending on whether Celestia gets involved or not. (No telling which one is which. Spoilers!)
Also, so much innuendo.
this aint going to well for anybody
Hopefully somepony stops this insane, giant penis statue...
I can give you two Alicorn guesses.
4917481 Why are they mutually exclusive?
It could be a wonderful disaster. After all it's produced by a pair of master magician mental patients.
Great. They were bonding with it.
Lost it. Didn't find it again the entire chapter. This is going to be very silly.
Trixie does sum it up well.
Why didn't this appear in my favorites box as updated? DAMN YOU FIMFICTION!
This story is too hilarious to miss!
Where's the bonus chapter?
4945909 What bonus chapter? Don't know what you're talking about.
4946046 You posted a chapter not that long ago and it's not there.
Come here for bonus chapter, it's not here...
You love tormenting me with hints of chapters, don't you
I'm sure Celestia will be fine with Trixie's giant penis.
And once again you torture us by dangling the next chapter before our faces before snatching it back.
You, madam, are evil.
4952960 With you there. *Hooves together, begging for you to get this chapter published* I wanna know what's next!
Gods this was the best kind of insane.
i think ive gone insane
I love how you captured RD's skill with children. The Crusader's innocence is just so darned funny cute.