//------------------------------//
// Fact 76 - 100 
// Story: 101 Interesting Facts About Draconequi 
// by naturalbornderpy 
//------------------------------//

Using a hoof, Twilight Sparkle rubbed at a temple and sighed. “Cats and dogs?” she asked tiredly.
                
All five of the other mares nodded at once, as outside hundreds of small kittens and puppies began descending from the sky, meowing and yipping as they fell.
                
Rarity grimaced. “So this means Discord’s up to the ‘worst possible thing’? I’d hate to see what that means exactly.”
                
“Okay, gang!” Applejack declared. “We need to get to the bottom of this right quick! This ‘fact’ book of Discord’s mentions a lot of facts about hating kids—think Discord might do something to the schoolhouse today? I’d hate for Apple Bloom to get involved in all this craziness.”
                
Rarity grumbled lowly.
                
“Or Sweetie Belle,” Applejack added quickly. “Or Scootaloo… or any kid for that matter.”
                
Twilight’s large castle stopped creaking for a moment, so all six of them could hear a large bang come from somewhere inside the castle. All eyes found Twilight’s again.
                
“That came from the kitchen, I think,” she told them in a hushed tone. “Now I’m getting the feeling everything outside is nothing more than a distraction caused by Discord to trick us. Come on, girls. Let’s finish this once and for all.”
                
In a steady march, the six mares made their way up the dark hall towards the castle’s kitchen.
                
After a moment’s hesitation, Twilight grabbed the book up with her horn.
                
“Couldn’t hurt to finish the list, though, could it?”
 

***

 
76. Discord doesn’t actually wear hats and coats. He just created them to have something to hang on Sombra’s horn. It’s much funnier that way. He had a feeling you were wondering about that.

77. Sleepovers with draconequi can be rather tricky business. Some of their worst pranks include: hoof in warm water; shaving cream to the face; and random gender swapping spells.

There are very few that can still remember just how beautiful Princess Blueblood used to be.

78. Look behind you.
 

***


 

Looking up from the book again, Twilight and her friends turned around in the dimly lit hall to find absolutely nothing in sight. Sighing loudly, Twilight muttered, “Now this is just getting ridiculous. Yes, more ridiculous than before.”
 

***


 

79. A book just dictated a part of your life. They seem to be very good at that, don’t they?
                
80. A draconequus once napped for so long, they completely missed out on the Equestrian renaissance. Upon learning of this, they were mostly okay with it.
                
81. Draconequi will normally refuse to eat sundaes on Sundays or hay fries on Fridays. Same goes for sitting on Saturdays.
                
82. Discord the draconequus visits Lord Tirek every week in Tartarus like clockwork. He always brings with him fresh cups of spit for Tirek to enjoy. When Tirek isn’t looking, though, Discord will sometimes sneak in mouthfuls of warm tea into his cups.
                
83. There is a little known “draconequi mating ritual” that few ponies know even exist at all—or until it is far too late. It’s called “making eye contact”, and once the ritual is complete, the draconequus must wed the pony they made eye contact with without hesitation.
                
Tears are a common sight at most draconequus weddings.
                
84. Draconequi fall asleep to the sounds of their own laughter. They also wake up to the sounds of their own laughter. It means they don’t actually get all that much sleep.
                
85. Endings are always the best part of long draconequi fact lists.
                
86. Clown ponies scare all draconequi. They scare everyone, actually.
                
This fact is printed in a book, so it must be true.
                
87. There is a rumor that draconequi are trying to bring yoga pants back. So far, no one has asked them to do this and so far no one is really looking forward to when they accomplish this goal.
                
88. A brave warrior once tried to kill a draconequus by pouring boiling hot lithium down their throat. The draconequus went on to survive the ordeal and has since been experiencing an overall better mood than before.
                
89. It is said that the Equestrian Dark Ages began when a draconequus stubbed his hoof on the edge of a coffee table. Draconequi and coffee tables have been natural enemies ever since.
                
90. Draconequi have indeed heard of snozzberries and eat them every day on-top of their pancakes. Snozzberries are grown naturally inside the dreams of all dreamers.
                
91. A draconequus was once tasked by planet invading creatures to name a single thing to save Equestria with. They then explained the dish known as hay fries covered with cheese curds and gravy and Equestria has been safe ever since.
                
92. No draconequi in the history of time has ever cared about how your day went. But they would just love to tell you how their day went. Usually in excruciating detail.
                
93. A draconequus once spat a well-chewed piece of pink gum into a mare’s mouth. Eleven months later, the mare known as Pinkie Pie shot out. Or that’s what we’re going with because we honestly have no other clue how she operates the way she does.
                
94. Less than a day after Princess Luna’s return, a petition was started to get her returned back to the moon for fear that the Princess would steal all their jobs. To this day, only two signatures have been signed:
                
1. Discord
                
2. Princess Celestia
                
95. You ever get the feeling someone’s watching you, so you turn around, but no one’s there? So you say to yourself, “Looks like I’m jumping at shadows again! Time to go start dinner, I guess. Hope those leftovers are still good.”
                	
Congratulations! You’ve just met your very first draconequus!
                
96. Once every thousand years, a draconequi must shed its skin to form a new one around itself. This makes the leftover “draconequi coat” a rather sought after and expensive gift.
                
If caught wearing one of these garments, though, members of PETDBERG (Ponies for the Ethical Treatment of Draconequi, Bears, and Extra Regular Gentlestallions) have been known to vocally exclaim their disdain to such individuals.
                
An effective countermeasure is to point out just how terrible their group’s acronym is.
                
97. According to nearly all draconequi, Equestria does not actually revolve around the sun. It instead revolves solely around them. The runner-up answer is of course: Celestia’s plot.
                
It’s just that big.
                
98. Draconequi always bring along extra protection when going out on dates to guarantee no unwanted pregnancies. They always make sure to keep their extra set of socks and sandals close to paw inside their travel bags.
                
99. Draconequi have the hardest time convincing ponies that meat actually tastes good. In order to solve this problem, some draconequi have been known to shove bits of fried bacon inside of ponies’ hay burgers without their knowledge.
                
It’s amazing how many ponies later asked for seconds. And drool uncontrollably.
                
100. There is now only one interesting draconequi fact remaining in this book.