//------------------------------//
// Chapter 9: Through Deadly Actions 
// Story: When Kindness Met Hatred 
// by Dramapony 
//------------------------------//


Chapter Nine: Through Deadly Actions




        
I couldn’t even count how many beats my heart skipped. All the ponies in the room turned their eyes to us. So icy. My mind tried its maximum effort to maintain all the thoughts I rehearsed for my parents. I can never speak well in front of other ponies, silently judging every little thing I do. But for him, I had to at least try. Yet at the same time, I couldn’t help but feel a larger than life rage against my father. How could he have tricked us like that? 

        No flight response this time, my mind spoke. This is it. 

        
Mockingbird shifted his hooves, looking like he was unsure whether to flight or freeze. 

        Rainbow Dash only stared at the group of pegasi in the room like she wanted Celestia to send them all to the moon. 

Father looked on and grinned. “Feeling better?” 

“Uh… I… um… yes,” I uneasily replied. “Everything is okay.” 

He nodded. “Oh, good. Remind me to never bring egg salad home ever again.” His comment was followed by a small ensemble of chuckles from the room. 

Mother sat in the first row of chairs, of course looking at us. She lifted her own hoof and flicked it to herself, inviting us to come sit with her. For some unknown reason to me, we did so, taking the three open seats right next to her. With Rainbow Dash to Mockingbird’s left, me on his right and myself next to Mom, we sat and waited for the deadly words to come. 

Dad stood at his podium like a monarch to give a speech. Behind him, Zeus, Milky Way and a young female pegasus, with a blonde mane and green coat, sat patiently. This was my father’s night to rule; to conquer. This was his kingdom and everypony was his subject, whether they wanted to be or not. 

“Good evening, everypony!” he spoke into the black microphone. “And welcome to our weekly meeting for the Traditional Pegasus Family Coalition. To start off for tonight, let’s give the floor to Kettle with our charity report.” He turned to the blonde mare behind him. She rose from her seat and trotted up to the podium, clipboard in hoof. 

“Thank you, Barrister,” Kettle said. I assumed this was her, given her cutie mark: a red tin kettle with a golden bit hovering over the slot. She took a glance at her notes before beaming and turning her eyes back up. 

Clearing her throat, she leaned in towards the microphone and announced, “Our Hearth’s Warming charity season was once again a major success.” Her cheeks turned a prideful red, her voice excitedly rising in pitch and speed. “From late November and into early January, our Santa Hooves kettle collecting project has raised over 600,000 bits!” Her report was received with stomping hooves of glee in the room, causing me to jump slightly in my seat.

“600,000 bits?!” Zeus exclaimed, leaping from his chair. “Now that is 50,000 more from last year’s charity, is that right?” 

“That’s right, Zeus,” Kettle confirmed in a cheery tone. “This has also exceeded our goal of 500,000 bits, bringing us to a new record.”

Father jovially trotted back over to the podium with a cocky lift of his brows. “And how many homes will we build with that total?” 

Kettle flipped through the pages of her report until she landed on the end. She skimmed the results closely before saying, “5,000 homes will be built with our total donations.” 

An even louder applause was met, Dad whistling into his falsetto and dancing around like he won the lottery. 

“That’s right, fellas!” he enthusiastically cheered, grabbing the mic from the charity collector. “Not only did we raise enough to give the gift of 5,000 homes to homeless pegasi families, but we also collected more than enough to fully shelve their pantries for a year!” Again came the thunderous approval, rattling the ground.

My mind fell into purgatory with this announcement. If my parents are good enough ponies to help those in need, then how could they have said such cruel things about Mockingbird? I couldn’t tell if it was either a cover up for their words, or because they purely wanted to help make Equestria a brighter place. If they wanted to do the latter, then why would they say mean things about ponies who are gay? About their own son? About their own daughter? 

Father raised his hoof and lowered it, hushing his followers. “Thank you very much, Kettle, this was a great way to kick off the evening.” Kettle nodded her head, joining the rest of the the pegasi amongst the audience. My dad took a moment, then turned his eye out over the sea of ponies, shaping his eyebrows into a large V. He slouched over the podium, taking short breaths in and out through his muzzle. 

I turned to Rainbow Dash and Mockingbird. My best friend since fillyhood, who was always so fearless to my eyes, sat like she was watching a horror movie. Her pupils kept jerking towards the exit like she wanted to make a run for it, but she remained in the chair like she was under a binding spell. Mockingbird was starting to look anemic, or like he was about to regurgitate. All I could feel was my usual vulnerability times a hundredfold. 

After gritting his yellow teeth, Father finally spoke calmly into the microphone, “Though this past season’s charity was a success, I feel the exact same, year, after year, after year: Disappointed. Disappointed because I always wish we can save more ponies, don’t you all agree?” 

“YES!” came the passionate answer from the group around us. 

Dad raised himself with a wag of his hoof. “But we have to come to terms and realize that it's just not possible. Not everypony can be saved, and I don’t just mean from homelessness, but from another disastrous consequence. A scar that’s invisible to our eyes. A wound that the injured don’t want healed. An issue that Celestia, Luna and Cadence have all turned a blind eye towards; now the newly coronated Princess Twilight Sparkle will do the same!” 

My ears were alarmed with a loud “BOO” from all the voices, their hooves pointing down for emphasis. My mane fell over my eyes, my head craning down. 

Father raised his hoof and the silence fell again. “It has become so uncontrollable that it has grabbed a hold of my own son and daughter. They are here with us this evening, as I love them both enough very dearly to care for their own safety. Which is why I would like to invite my good friend Zeus, to join me in reviewing our organization’s history.”

Zeus smiled before reaching towards the side wall to dim the lights. The living room faded to a nighttime shade like a movie theatre. A projector flicked on, casting a translucent spotlight over the white screen. 

As the two stallions came to the position the orbs of their eyes locked with me. Little did any of us know that the words of the father would pierce the ears and churn the stomachs. For his ideal of love was to be hammered into our heads. 

The projector showed its first image: an emblem of the group name, laying across a golden image of pegasi reaching their hooves out to fillies. 

Dad breathed in. “When we established this group twenty years ago, it couldn’t have been at a better time. Throughout all of Equestria, Cloudsdale has always had the highest statistics of concern for coltcuddlers and fillyfoolers. We were around to maintain it all. To make sure we never went astray.” 

Zeus stepped out in front of father. “However, this is, unfortunately, no longer the case.” 

My ears pointed to the ceiling in a spring of hope. How could I have not heard the possible news that my hometown could be getting better? If I can convince them, then Mockingbird will be safe here for sure.


The next image popped up on the projector screen: a graph. Against the wall of numbers running up from 0-100%, a red line took its perch near the upper half. The bar looked like it maintained its balance atop the years on the ground, until it curved downwards like a slide in the most recent decade. 

“According to the latest bureau results,” Zeus continued, fire sparking in his vocals, “when we first had our inception, Cloudsdale had a record homosexuality opposition of 75%.” 

“However, in recent years this has taken a drastic turn,” Dad stated, pointing his hoof to the top and tracing it downwards. “As support in other areas—like Canterlot, Manehattan, Baltimare and Las Pegasus—increased, Cloudsdale’s opposition has sank to a new record LOW of 37%!” 

This news was met with an even louder siren of disgust from the crowd, their harsh and very obnoxious vocals almost deafening me. I felt like I was about to go into a seizure. Nothing felt like real life anymore. I turned to Mockingbird to catch a lifeless face, almost like he was not exactly living but not exactly dead either. His eyes appeared all white, his pupils so small they looked like little black buttons, swimming in bowls of milk.

With another hoof raise from the leader, the voices hushed. Dad pulled the cordless microphone off the podium and took center stage. “Now when we first began, I had a vision to protect all our fillies and foals from this damaging phenomenon. I remember in the beginning, when pegasi actually cared, this very living room was overcrowded to the point of breaking down the walls. A lot of times I even considered relocating to the recreation center. I thought that my love for our future generations to come was in the right place. I believed that there were enough ponies to offer all their love and peace, so our group could see fruition.” 

Tears began soaking the borders of his eyes, accompanied with a watered down voice. “However, as the years went by, I could see clearly that what I thought was strength came to me in the form of a sneaking lie. No matter what we did to protect our children, more of our members turned their backs on us. No matter how strong our protests held, or how much we pushed for our petitions, or how much counseling we gave to those sexually confused ponies, we were losing.” 

Zeus intercepted the mic, taking Father’s place. “As we have already discussed in the past, we felt a change in approach was needed: to go radical!” 

More cheer from the pegasi in the room. More dread and sickness came to my brain and stomach. Why couldn’t I move? 

“If all of you have been reading the papers lately, you can see that our activism has scored the front page! We became celebrities!” Zeus passionately announced. Wiping the sweat off his forehead, he heaved in, giving a detestable glare to the nighttime sky. “I have a fear. A very disturbing fear that haunts me every day. I see it wherever I go. A fear that our beloved nation of Equestria has stopped caring. That all ponies think they are free to do whatever they think is best for themselves, but not for the future.” 

With a huff, he fixed back on the sea of ponies in front of him, snake like venom spitting with his words. “I see it everywhere. In the movies, in books, music, advertisements, comics, games, toys, EVERYTHING! As we are speaking at this very moment, ponies are either coming out, or being supportive of those who identify, as Homosexual, Bisexual and Transgendered. Thus forcing us to either join or be called the haters! How dare we be stamped as bigots for helping those on a dangerous path of shame! For expressing our very opinions! Unless we act, my brothers and sisters, Equestria will no longer be the land of love, peace, harmony and family values; but a land of sexual perversion and filth!” 

Please no more! I only pray this is a dream! 

Before the crowd had a chance to spring into a mob frenzy, Zeus cued  the next slide. “Which is why we proposed this!”       

The projector clicked. The next image almost made my eyes pop right out of their sockets. The picture was the front of a pegasus cloud home. Written across the door in red lettering was sprayed the message, FAG HOME! SEEK HELP OR FACE A LIFE OF MISERY! 

The members, surprisingly, fell silent. I couldn’t tell if it was either shock or humble respect for their efforts. But I didn’t bother to think of their thoughts, I was too pre-occupied with what I was actually facing. I-I can’t even describe how I felt. My mind felt like it stopped working. I was starting to think I was in one of those campfire ghost stories. How did Twilight not catch them doing this? 

“Within the past few weeks, we have spread several messages, very much like this, to about twenty-eight homes in Cloudsdale,” Zeus said. “As our usual campaigns failed to show any sign of significant growth, we brought out our loudest weapon.” 

“But that will end tonight,” Father chimed back in. He adapted a much calmer tone and posture, his meek attempt to actually appear professional. “Upon talking with my own family about this matter, I have realized how hypocritical we have been. Perhaps attacking other homes or families is a bit too extreme in order to help them. Which is why tonight, I am proposing a new solution. A better solution.” 

Mumbling arose amongst the pegasi. I turned to my mother, who still only sat and watched. Nothing more. I could tell that she has grown accustomed to this. That she knew what was to come. Like she wanted to say something comforting or supportive, but was mentally forced to keep silent. 

Father turned to Zeus, then Milky Way. Zeus responded with a nodding head; his son, with a face looking into the night sky, slumped in his seat. His outer appearance gave the evidence of longing to be somewhere else. To be free of the bondage of what controlled his life. His daze ended with Zeus shaking him back to life on the shoulder. Milky Way quickly nodded as if to say, Uh, right. 

Then, Father looked to us, his un-trusting eyes shooting into my head and freezing my brain. Mockingbird looked as if he was staring at an assassin. The horror of our reality seeped into our veins, boiling our blood to a degree capable of melting skin. 

Bringing his lips close to the wind-screen of his microphone, he ordered, “Mockingbird and Fluttershy, will my beloved children please join me up here?” 

This was it. I knew that if I was going to win, I had to throw all my cards on the table. Open up when I still had the chance. But why did he want us up where all could see? I really hate speaking in front of an audience, but I knew I just had to do it. 

I made the first move with my hooves touching the cloud beneath me. That was all the movement I wanted to do and nothing more. At least it was more than what Mockingbird wanted. Shifting his haunches, he slowly slid off his cushion and met the cloud. I tried to give him the non-verbal message to relax, but this action seemed almost impossible when I couldn’t even convince myself.

Rainbow Dash looked like she wanted to come with us, but also like her own flank was set in stone. I wish she could’ve joined me. Whenever I was with Dash, I always felt safe and secure. That night was my only exception. 

Dad, with patience, backed away to give us room. Mockingbird by my side, we took one step at a time until we were both visible to all the ponies in the room.    

“We have my own children joining us tonight," Father announced. "Mockingbird, Fluttershy, welcome home.” 

“Oh, um, thank you,” I mumbled. Mockingbird only found the response to nod and nothing more. It was rare for him to get stage fright, but this was no performance; this was his own life. 

Father shot his eyes to Mockingbird. “Son, I understand that we had a little fall out last week.” 

“Um, yes, we did,” Mockingbird said. 

“And is it true that it ended with you no longer remaining with us?” 

“Yes.”

His welcoming voice suddenly turned cold once he commanded, “Both of you, down, now.” 

“Wh-What was that?” my voice urged. 

“Down,” he repeated. 

Without more hesitation, we both did as we were told. I couldn’t for the life of me understand why I was listening to his orders like that. But most of all, why was he making us do that in the first place? 

“Now, my children,” Dad continued, “I want you to confess.” 

My tongue tied. Confess what? Everything at that point has gone beyond nightmare like. 

“Wh-What do you want us to say?” Mockingbird asked, letting his mane fall over his eyes.

My dad simply shook his head. “Oh, Fluttershy, Mockingbird, you young ponies have blessed the lives of me and your mother for so many years and brought wonderful memories for us. However, you also both created your own flaws and bad habits as backsliders. Because of these, I find it very hard to help you find what’s best in your own lives. 

“Fluttershy, you have defied your parents wishes and lived the life of an earth pony, caring for the wild. You left us when we simply wanted what was best for you. We gave you our love, only to let you reject it and run away like it never even mattered to you. But worst of all, you have enabled your brother’s nasty habits, when he needed serious help to get rid of them.”

To this day, I still find it a miracle that I didn’t vomit right there on the spot. It was bad enough to hear him say those hurtful things to me in private, but in the open? Was he serious? He knew how much I hated that kind of humiliation. To me, he was the one committing the worst habits. 

Mockingbird still had that mortified look on his face. Dad lifted his hoof and brushed it through my brother’s mane like he was petting him. It was with this motion that the stallion of the home took his pride and claimed that he owned us. We were nothing but a pair of pets to him, made to follow all his wishes, do what he wants, and become what he wants; only to be given dry treats for following his orders. Never before have I ever felt so sickened with how parents treated their children, holding back our own dreams and goals for their own fantasies. 

“Mockingbird,” Father said, “I want you to say it.” 

Mockingbird choked. His eyes moistened, accompanied with a fur raising shutter. “What, uh, what do you want me to say?” 

“You know very well what I want you to announce, Son.” Dad looked over the crowd, straightening his glasses. “Mockingbird, you have gone against everything I have taught you to believe. Last week, you have left us when we wanted to help. We wanted you to get better because you were sick; but you rejected our hooves when we reached out to you, and you attacked me. I refuse to let you live a life where you will fall even more sick to lust, drugs and abuse. I’m only making you do this because I love you, but you won’t listen any other way. I’m sorry that it has to be like this, but you leave me with no other option. So say to my coalition what you said to me on your birthday.”

Mockingbird closed his eyes like he was preparing to drink arsenic. His breathing went from unsteady whispers to tiny bits of huffing. Sweat rolled down every muscle, forming a small moat around him. 

“A-Are you sure?” Mockingbird asked, now terrified. 

Dad’s voice grew thin and sharp. He leaned down and whispered into his ear, “I said say it. Now.” 

With a crackle of the vocals, Mockingbird softly coughed out, “I-I like colts.”

“Louder, Mockingbird, for all to hear,” Father retorted. 

“I like colts,” He repeated with just a small change in volume.

“Celestia and Luna can’t hear you!”

“I like colts.”

“LOUDER, MOCKINGBIRD, OR SO HELP ME—!”

“I LIKE COLTS! I LIKE STALLIONS! I’M GAY; I’M A COLTCUDDLER!” Mockingbird’s spirit was officially broken. He craned his head. Silent for a moment. Then soft breathing. Then a pause. His eye lids leaked with liquid. A small stream slipped and ran down his cheeks. Making a turn down his muzzle, the trail reached its cliff and ran onto the floor. 

His breathing escalated to a muffled huff. His tears broke through the dam of his eyes, soaking his face. The floor below him went from a tiny puddle to almost an ocean in a matter of a minute. 

My natural instinct to hug and protect him was screaming in my mind’s ear. Of course I wanted to act upon it, but I couldn’t. My legs felt like tree stumps, planted into the soiled earth. Why was I like this? I don’t know, and I don’t think I ever will, please don’t ask me.     

There was a mixture of faces from the crowd. Some showed bitter disgust for this discovery, while most showed faces of pity. But no, I could not see the pity I usually feel. They did not feel sorry for him being up there and being humiliated by the stallion who was supposed to love him. This was the pity that said, Let us help you. Or We want you to get better; we can cure you. 

I could not believe that these ponies actually thought of their actions as compassion. I almost felt sorry for them, not being able to feel the empathy of the ones they were “helping.” To me, they were nothing but marionettes, mindlessly being controlled by a puppeteer of false charity.   

Rainbow Dash looked up with a furious war snarl on her lips. Her nostril flared like a bull ready to charge. She gripped the bottom of her chair like she wanted to split it in twain. But she remained sitting, just as frozen as I was. 

Mother also continued to sit, but now with much uncertainty. She clenched her chest and took slow breaths in and out. I swear I could even see her attempt to lift a hoof off her chair, pushing it forward like she wanted to come up. But she never did. And that’s when I had to force myself to accept that I was not slumbering. This was really my life now. 

My father performed another action. An action that threw me off guard. I’m not sure if anypony else in the room could see it coming. He knelt down to Mockingbird, wrapping a foreleg around him in a hug. His hoof brushed along his side in an almost comforting motion. 

“Shh… I know, Son, it isn’t an easy thing to admit,” he spoke softly. “But the bright news is, there's still hope for you.” 

He rose with Mockingbird in his arms, keeping a firm lock around his torso. “And you know why I think there is still a chance? Because I was once in the same situation you’re in.”

Milky Way stepped in front of the scene, cue cards in hoof. He looked to Zeus. The father gave the son an urgent nod.  

With a glance of his script, Milky way began his presentation. “Mockingbird, you come here tonight because you want to be with your family again. You may be resisting, because of how much a challenge this may appear to be. At this point you have convinced yourself that your homosexuality cannot be reversed; that you will forever feel this abnormal attraction. 

“On behalf of TPF, I want to say that we feel deeply sorry for you, that you have this delusion of accepting yourself this way. But we are here tonight to reveal that there is a silver lining in your storm. Little do you know that there are others just like you, but proved that it’s possible for a brighter future.” 

What did he mean by “A brighter future”? Why did my brother need to change? Mockingbird never committed a crime. He never got detention in school. He wouldn’t even dream of harming an animal. All I knew was at that very moment, I wanted nothing more than to smack Milky Way’s skull right off his neck, and use his jaws as a nut cracker. 

“Take your father, our own leader Barrister, for example,” Milky Way continued. “For everypony who may not know, Barrister may not be all that he appears to the eye. We all know how he is one of Equestria’s greatest lawyers. We know how he is a very committed stallion to both his causes and his own family. We know that even though the media may portray him as a tyrant, we see him as a caring hero and advocate for healthy pegasi families everywhere.

“But I am here to tell you all what you may not know about Barrister. Though he now has an extraordinary career, a beautiful wife and two fortunate children, he used to not be on this road. Instead, he was heading down a more dangerous path. This, fillies and gentlecolts, was our beloved leader 30 years ago!” 

He pointed his hoof to the projector screen. With a loud click and bright flash, the next image appeared. A portrait so unexpected, so shocking and so eye opening, a choir of gasps escaped all mouths. This image caused such a stir of internal pandemonium, that the visible witness of the body could be fooled. It was a younger picture of my father.

He almost looked like a doppelgänger of Mockingbird himself. Inside the old photograph, he had his forearms wrapped around a younger, tan colt with a fiery red mane. A unicorn, I remember him to be. What sent the largest shock of all was what they were doing.

The dad in the picture pursed his lips passionately against the mouth of his male companion, both their cheeks blushing a bright shade of burgundy. Their eyes sealed closed from what looked like pure enjoyment. The stallions lovingly held each other, like a bride and groom would appear before an alter.

My mind found it impossible to comprehend. The very last thing I ever expected to see was him kissing another colt. How could this have happened? How did he turn out this way? Was I not supposed to have even been born, were this to be true? Nothing made sense anymore. 

Regaining his composure, father put on his smile and straightened his own back. He glanced at the picture like he was in very deep regret for his memory. Like he hated himself for being in love; like it was more disgusting than eating feces. 

“Everypony may be wondering how I turned away from such a corrupted youth,” Dad spoke. “Well, it would be in my defense to say that at Traditional Pegasus Family, we can trump the popular idea of homosexuality, proving that it’s not in the genes, but is rather a lifestyle choice. Milky Way, would you like to share how I overcame this challenge in my life?” He turned to the young colt, now holding the cards with a very sweaty hoof. “Please, explain, son.”

Milky Way gulped in his throat, carrying on his presentation. “Barrister was lucky enough to have received a saving hoof from some very generous ponies. Along with my father Zeus, my family has been successful in running our conversion program for the past 35 years.”

I was not prepared for what was to come next. I wanted to shut my eyes but just couldn’t. Before the next image even appeared, I already regretted every decision I have made to try and negotiate with the ponies whom I thought were my loving parents. 

The projector clicked, followed by a sunny image of two ponies—one mare and one stallion—smiling brightly at the camera. Their expressions looked far from genuine, but rather like they were told to display those faces on cue. In the background stood a gleaming recreational like building, formed from cumulus clouds. The center of the photo was filled with the title in a fancy heading: Windsong’s Path For Lost Ponies. 

Looks of approval and praise from the audience fixated on the screen. This uncomfortable gaze made me feel an emotion that I couldn’t even read myself. Anger, shock, sadness, pity, confusion, fear and rage all enveloped my brain like a swarm of parasprites. Thinking straight for me was no longer an option. All I could tell was that I finally knew the truth about my father. A poor, unfortunate victim of brainwashing, who was never allowed to love. 

Milky Way turned his head down to Mockingbird’s tear running eyes, speaking in a surprisingly gentle voice. “Can’t you see that there is a chance for you to be normal? If your dad can do it, then you can too. If you just let us help you, we can guarantee that you can start feeling better in no time.” 

That was the final straw, for after those words passed his lips, I had to act.

“This is ridiculous!” I cried, everypony in the room recoiling in surprise. This anger was truly enough for me to boil over where I thought I could go. My voice turned raspy but loud. “What makes you think it’s okay to force other ponies how to love? What happened to accepting all ponies for who they are? Won’t that be the kindest thing to do? Dad, when you invited me here a week ago, you never told me any of this would happen!” 

Before I could assert myself any further, Zeus ran up, wrestling me into a tight bear hug. He kept my head firmly locked to his chest, his hoof stroking very close towards towards my flank. 

“Shhh… easy does it, sweetie,” he hushed as I squirmed in his grasp. “This is all for the best, you just have to trust us.” The last thing I wanted at that moment was his lustful, creeping voice, dripping down my ears and melting my brain. My blood felt like it turned to lava. I felt his hoof pinch my cutie mark, causing me to fight even harder, even if it meant resorting to hitting. 

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing to her?!” Hearing Rainbow Dash’s shout, I could tell at that she was released from her petrified prison. Looking up, I saw her hooves wrap around Zeus’ neck, reeling him backwards. Naturally reacting, the old stallion finally let go, causing me to pedal away like a startled dog. 

 The wrestling of the mare and stallion was only brief, however, when Milky Way forcefully pulled her off him.

“How about you watch your manners!” Milky Way grunted, Rainbow Dash trying to fight back. 

“That’s enough now!” Dad cried. All ceased again. “This meeting is for Mockingbird. He is the only one who shall decide. 

Mockingbird didn’t hesitate to lift himself up. Wiping his face clean, he looked like he wanted kill all the ponies in the room. Still shaking, I felt like I could only watch and pray that he could find the right words. 

“What makes you think I would go through something like that?” he asked, locked in personal dread. “First you welcome me home after a fight, now you’re trying to tell me I’m sick? I thought you wanted me back.” 

“I do!” Dad argued. “Mockingbird, I know what you’re feeling. If I had not gone through the program, I might not even be here now. I never would've met your mother. Fluttershy never would’ve existed. You never would’ve existed. What I wanted was a normal life, and I got it. How do you even know if this is natural for you? How do you know if you haven’t just been convincing yourself of this, to a point of becoming real for you?”

        I couldn’t tell how Mockingbird was able to keep his stance. It was like he forgot how to debate or even move independently. “D-Dad, it’s just always been this way for me. I’ve never felt attraction to mares, even if I tried; even if I wanted to. I’m just not like that, okay?” 
 
“Not okay, Mockingbird! The problem is you don’t know what it means to be a real stallion. All I see is you rebelling against me, simply because you’re so naive and stubborn. If I’m living proof that something can be reversed, then the same is meant to happen for you.” 

Mockingbird’s face tightened, his nostrils clogging with snot. Sniffling, he rapidly shook his head to deny everything.

Father stomped his hoof in retaliation. “Stop crying! You weak, little ass. Don’t you want to live a life free of fear and denial? Or are you saying you want to be judged, and openly mocked, causing yourself to hide behind a veil of embarrassment?” 

“Don’t bully me, Dad!” Mockingbird moaned. “I-I wouldn’t have to feel so afraid if ponies like you never said any of these things.” 

Dad’s eyes almost fired like missiles. “Oh, and me going soft while not getting through to you is going to make them stop? You're right! How dare I give you a harsh, but honest, reality of an unhealthy habit. It’s not the yellow brick road you’re on, Mockingbird; you’re just merrily trotting down a path, painted with a sunny sky, that will lead you to appearing as a social threat. I’m not going to let these so called positive reinforcements allow you to harm so many ponies, then eventually yourself!”      

No more! I knew that I just had to shake myself off, step in and actually say something. As much as I hate raising my voice, you can’t stand idly on the side when those you love are in distress in front of you. Snapping out of my frozen prison, I galloped between father and Mockingbird, spreading my hooves out to part them. “Please, that’s enough!” 

Again, everything went quiet. Only mumbles arose from the audience watching on. Why didn’t anypony do or say anything? Were they enjoying the show or something? 

I was joined by Rainbow Dash, breaking from Milky Way’s grasp. Then finally, my mother trotted up to us, wearing a face of anxiety and panic. I couldn’t help but question why she decided to run up then and there. How could it have taken her so long to actually realize it?  

An atmosphere of dead air filled the chamber for no longer than half-a minute. If anypony was to speak next, it had to be me. Finally, with a wobbly voice, I pushed out, “Is this really a way for a family to behave?” 

No answer. At last, I had my opportunity to speak. “Father, I don’t understand why it bothers you so much. Can’t you see how unhappy Mockingbird is about it? What happened to our dad who always thought of his foals first? Supported us through school? Encouraged us to achieve great things?”

I was very disappointed with myself. I swear, I rehearsed what I was going to say that whole Saturday. The words of my mind were so much more… I don’t know, strong! All I could say in public, again, were meek drones, that sounded like they came from the mouth of a little filly. Though I felt my plea was very readable, I already felt like I lost.

Father gave an exasperated sigh. With a dominating glare, he looked down into my pupils. “Fluttershy, all you had to do was see that we always had your best interest at heart. You could've gone on to do many great things in my eyes, but the only greatness that you and Mockingbird have achieved is become great disappointments. I am trying to get Mockingbird to realize he is very sick and needs attention. I will not have my defying daughter encourage her brother to experience the same shock, confusion and sickness that I faced.”

“He is not confused!” Rainbow Dash barked, almost causing me to stumble backwards. “You know, I’ve always been very surprised that Fluttershy is your daughter. Because she actually understands how ponies feel. She can never judge. I feel like Equestria would be a much better place to live in if there were more ponies like her!” 

“Oh that’s exactly what we need!” Milky Way yelled. “We need more ponies to start acting like a bunch of scaredy cats, who are too stupid to even accept what is morally right and wrong—” 

With what felt like the wind of a hurricane, his words were blown down by the roaring voice of Mother. “Don’t you EVER say that about my daughter!” She held her hoof like a sword towards the oily maned pegasus. Milky Way immediately silenced himself, lowering his head as if to surrender. 

My heart was still thundering many seconds after she shouted. The first time I ever heard her raise her voice. Ever. It sounded so empowering and godly. 

A spark almost came to my eyes. Perhaps she could finally break her silence and help us? Mother, who first held me when I was born. Who encouraged me to continue practice flying and make friends. She just had to. 

Almost faintly, I uttered, “M-Mom, please, say that you don’t agree with any of this. Say that we can just go on with our lives.”

However, this was not to imply that I would win the fight. This did not mean that my sick father saw the errors of his ways. Never have I been so mislead.  

She shied away, bowing her head. “I’m so sorry, Fluttershy and Mockingbird, but this is simply because we love you. I’m sure you’ll be thanking us if you just listen and follow through. I wish there was another way out, but there isn’t. I’m sorry.” 

I still don’t understand why I didn’t lash out there. Reality finally poured back into my head, much to my reluctance. A parent would never deny their children humane happiness. I didn’t even want to accept them as my birth mother and father anymore. What was I to call them?  

It was probably the angriest I have ever felt in my life. I could feel my brain sizzle and melt like butter on a frying pan. My face shriveled and soured more than an expired grape. If you were to touch my fur, a piece of your skin would’ve been burned clean off. 

But no, I didn’t move, didn’t flinch, didn’t budge. All I could do was insult myself in self-hatred, about how stupid I was to think this was a good idea. So much optimism and compassion I kept inside lead to a situation that could’ve easily been avoided. A stupid little fool. That’s all that a kind and loving mare can be in this world. A gullible, naive and simple-minded, little bimbo.  

Mockingbird sadly shook his head, tears flowing freely and voice growing raw. “No! No! I’m not going through with it! Whatever you may think there is nothing wrong with me! I just want to be happy with myself, please.”

“And what good would come from ignoring this issue?” Father brashly retorted. “All that enabling and giving you false hope without a shred of reality. Or, let me ask you this: do you even WANT a family?”

“Yes, I do want a family. Me and Fluttershy both want to have one, but not if it means trying to change something that’s as natural as a cutie mark.” 

Calls immediately erupted from the rest of the group. Their jeers of disappointment reached every sound barrier of the living room. If my home wasn’t made of cloud, they could've broken down a stone fort.

“Enough! Enough!” cried Zeus in a fit of agitation. The crowd, once again, pulled back in volume and ceased on command. Eyebrows raising and voice setting to a lighter tone, Zeus waltzed over to my brother’s focus. “Now, Mockingbird, you really don’t want to refuse. You are very young, and may not be fully aware of the consequences that may come with certain decisions.” 

Milky Way gave his signature bad colt smirk, joining his father. “He’s right, you know. Say, for instance, our vandalism escapades left no obvious traits.” 

“Meaning they could lead to anypony,” Zeus picked up. “Just wonder what kind of story that the papers and news would be all over. ‘Closeted Coltcuddler, Tagging Innocent Homes In Self-Hatred And Anger’. You would like that kind of fame, won’t you, Son?” 

Sweating became too much to resist for all of us. Mockingbird wore a panicked face, mixed with disbelief. Rainbow Dash looked like she was mentally getting ready to pounce. I had my own trouble trying to control my quickening heart rate and nauseating dizziness. 

“N-No, that’s illegal!” I objected, face tightening. “He was with me almost every night this week; his hooves are clean! There’s no way you can possibly pull that off!” 

“Are you kidding, Fluttershy?” Zeus quizzed. “Are you forgetting that your father, The Iron Barrister, is one of the most powerful lawyers in Equestria? Who do you think was the one who ordered the operation and knew how not to leave any evidence? He can easily pin anypony he desires, just to get away free.” 

Father nodded his head, though somewhat reluctantly. Was it because he was willing to do it out of what he thought was love? Because he thought using scare tactics would work on his children? A scare tactic so cruel and inhumane that it showed desperation for things to go his way? 

“I. Said. No!” Mockingbird shouted. My brother trembled, his eyes quenched and sore. His breathing came out in snippets, sounding both gravely and harsh. His frozen stance gave the impression of an impending doom that even I could sense. Why didn’t I act? 

Zeus continued to step forward closer and closer towards Mockingbird. The old stallion’s eyes looked like they sparked embers of a wildfire. His cold stone face was enough to make a cockatrice halt. Even my signature stare wouldn’t have been enough to match his look. 

“I don’t think you’re aware of living this lifestyle, Mockingbird,” Zeus uttered closely to his face. “It seems that you're ignoring our warnings of a life filled with you being an easy target for violence.” 

The stallion raised his hoof, placing it against my brother’s shoulder. His pat turned to a tightening grip. “An easy target for just about anything.” He brought his face closer in, bringing another hoof over the neck. 

It was happening so quiet and slow. I didn’t know what to do or how to act. But I knew I had to do something, get out and run away as quickly as possible. But I wasn’t quick enough. 

“Just. Like. This.” 

Before me or Rainbow Dash could even flinch, my baby cub was attacked. Zeus thrusted Mockingbird against a wall. My brother struggled and flailed his forearms, only to face the raining punches from Zeus’ hoof. The predator’s hoof clawed below the prey’s waist smacking down there. Mockingbird howled in pain and desperation, matching the noise of the shocked crowd.

As if all the anger reached into my forearms, I latched my hooves around Zeus’ neck and angrily tried to pry him away. But that beast attacking my cub was too strong. Rainbow Dash joined me and we pulled together. Still too strong. Then to my surprise, Mother joined in and began her attempt to rip him away. 

The room went lopsided, my vision twisting and blurring like I was in a funhouse. All we were able to hear were the torturous cries of Zeus, overpowering the wails of my poor brother. “Is this what you want in life!? Torture after torture being sent down like this!?” 

There was another voice banging into my ear. Dad’s voice. But for the first time, I could hear him going against something bad happening to Mockingbird. I could hear him hollering, “Zeus! No! This wasn’t a part of it! What are you doing?! Get off of him!” 

Was it possible that he still had some natural paternal love? 

Finally, after what felt like three minutes, we succeeded in tearing Zeus away. I grabbed the sweating and crying Mockingbird and took our flight outside, Rainbow by his other side and helping us pick up speed. We ran past the shrieking crowd of my dad’s blind followers. We left behind the purely evil Zeus and Milky Way. We left behind my unreadably quiet mother and unloving father.  

We were quickly out of the house and back into the cold black night. Leaving home, and refusing hope of it ever getting better again. My lioness has found her prey, endangering her cub. 





“Mockingbird! Please! Listen to me! I had no idea this was going to happen!” My eyes balled as I desperately attempted to communicate with Mockingbird in my cottage. He only shook his head, softly crying into his hooves. I turned to Rainbow Dash who looked the most shell shocked that I’ve ever seen in my life; a mare so tough and stoic, washed into a state of unshakeable terror. 

I tried again to apologize. “Mockingbird, I hate them now, too. But I had no idea what was going to happen. Please, understand that I still love you.” 

He angrily shot his head up, spinning around to meet me with a glare. “You have a very funny way of showing it!” 

I recoiled a whole five steps. He never shouted at me before. 

“I said I had a bad feeling about it. Why did you make me do it!” he snarled. 

“We had no idea it was going to be a cult meeting!” Rainbow Dash said.

“Then what did you expect?” Mockingbird snipped. “A lovely cocktail party with drinks, laughter and gossip? I can’t believe you were really stupid enough to believe that any good could’ve come out of this!” 

Never has Mockingbird called me stupid and sounded like he meant it. But I could feel very deep that I deserved every one of those nasty words. Every. Last. One.  

My eyes swelled with guilt. “Mockingbird, please, I’m not lying to you when I say I’m sorry. It’s going to be okay. I promise. Let’s just get some rest, then tomorrow morning I’ll go to Twilight and…” 

Oh, Fluttershy, you’re such a loudmouth!     

Mockingbird gritted his teeth at me and Rainbow Dash, his eyes shrinking in sheer dread. His face went whiter than snow. His tremble of anxiety returned. “Twilight!? What does she have anything to do with this? Why can’t we just go to the police?”

I could feel an iceberg smack my face. My stomach crumbled like a piece of paper. “Well, uh… Twilight, she kind of—” 

“Kind of what, Fluttershy?” 

I paused. I knew that he would be upset if I spilled the beans, but I was already backed into a corner. It was all for his safety. I just wish I was more prepared for his response. 

I took a long, slow breath and finished, “Listen, I told her about you, and she wants to help us out. I know you didn’t want me to tell anypony, but—” 

“You told her?!” Mockingbird snapped, the wind of his voice throwing back my mane. “After I trusted you, Fluttershy, after I told you how terrified I was to be outed, you turned your back on me. I thought you understood!” 

I tried to approach him. “Mockingbird, I do understand, but she can also help us out. If you please just calm down, count to ten—” 

“Stop lying to me!” I’m still very surprised that his scream didn’t make my ears bleed. The animals of my cottage all poked their heads out to the scene. The poor little dears. Rainbow Dash fell into a chair, gripping her hoof over her rapidly rising chest. This was the first time in my life that I was truly afraid of my brother.

“All of Ponyville is going to know now, are they?” Mockingbird asked with a sniffle. “And it’s all going to come into full circle. Ponies are going to glare at me, judge me, beat me, and grope me for pleasure. All you had to do was keep your mouth shut. You said things will get better, but I don’t see the better coming and staying anytime soon, Fluttershy. I’m kicked out of the family, there are homophobes all around, I was sexually harassed, and now I see you can’t even keep a simple promise. All you can say is you’re sorry. Like all the problems in Equestria can be solved just by saying those words, hugging me and saying a string of empty I love you's.”

Rainbow Dash rose, trying to trot up to him at her unusual gentlest. “Mockingbird, please listen to us, okay, buddy? Fluttershy was just trying to help. That shows she loves you more than anything. It’s not like you to say these kinds of things—”

“Then how do you expect me to react?!” Mockingbird yelled back. “Just laugh all this off, put on a lisp, call my sister a silly loose mouth, and listen to the soundtrack of Hinny of the Hills so I could feel better? This is not something I can forget or live by!” 

He whipped his head to me. “Fluttershy! You don’t listen to me anymore! You saw me crying in the bathtub tonight; all you had to do was see how I clearly felt, and we could’ve gone home safe. Look where we’re at now! I can‘t begin to describe how I feel so isolated, terrified and lonely because you went blabbing and acting on your own blind instincts. You don’t know what I want or need! I am not a foal who needs older consent for my decisions. I am Mockingbird! I am a stallion and child of Celestia!” 

His words pouring out to me all felt like a toxic chemical I deserved to consume. They were knives and I were their cutlery. My baby brother so broken all because of me. All I wanted to do was help him and I failed. 

My knees buckled until they fell to my floor. I crawled toward Mockingbird, reaching up to his chest fur. My vision became so blurry with tears that all I could see of him were colors. My stomach felt like a punctured wound. My voice sounded like I picked up bronchitis. 

“Mockingbird, honey,” I begged, him turning his face away. “Please, I truly am very, very, very sorry for all of this. I’m an idiot for not listening to you or thinking things all the way through. More than that; I’m brainless, spineless, selfish even for not paying attention to you. I never should've done anything you felt uncomfortable with. I just wanted us to be a family again.” 

I wheezed heavily before making a feeble attempt to continue my testimony. “But I hate them now just as much as you do. You can be mad at me all you want, and I will understand why, but can you please try to see how much I really love you? Can you please understand that I never wanted to cause you any kind of harm?” 

Mockingbird looked down, quietly shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy, but I don’t think I can take your word anymore. You meant well, but only made things worse beyond imagination. All I want now is to do what I think is best.” 

He shakily raised his own hooves over my own and lowered them to the floor. My heart was a flame, crackling and popping sparks with every hot beat. I couldn’t even make out what he meant by that. 

He slowly turned around, softly crying, and marched towards the kitchen. The flashback of the week prior played in front of me. Him. With the knife. It didn’t take me very long to make the dark forecast. 

“M-Mockingbird, what are you doing?” I cried out, panicking. Rainbow Dash hastily lifted me onto my hooves. We made our way towards Mockingbird, advancing towards his weapon. 

He walked like a zombie. His mind thought of nothing. His eyes focused only on the foreshadowing blackness. Face wet, red, swollen and salty. His hooves pelted against the floor, picking up speed. 

“Mockingbird, please!”

“Stop! Listen to us!” 

"Can we please just talk about this some more?”

“It’ll be okay, just stop!” 

“I’m sorry!” 

“Mockingbird, No!” 

Little did we know that he was already dead, but could still walk and breath. That he was deaf, but could still hear. That he was blind, but could still see. That he desperately wanted to trade the comfort of a bed for the hard coldness of a casket. 

Now running ahead of us, his brain instrumented his hoof to reach out and grab the kitchen knife on the counter. My eyes bulged as I lunged onto him, tackling for the silver blade. Rainbow Dash tried to snatch it from his grasp, but to no avail. 

And I was forced into a front row seat as Mockingbird lifted the knife to his wrist and sliced apart his skin. His eyes poured waterfalls of tears as his wrist poured a waterfall of crimson fluid, pooling under us and staining his beautiful coat. Through deadly actions come deadly consequences. 

He shrieked and pleaded for the loving embrace of the reaper, only to be matched by our protesting screams to rescue him. He squirmed, jerked, kicked and punched. But before his knife could repeat the action, I finally succeeded in knocking the sword from his control, away from our wrestle. 

He stopped jerking and laid in my arms, begging to sleep forever. Little did I predict that my folly would lead to craving for death’s kiss. The colt I vowed to protect almost slipped away from me. My eyes watered and flowed like it was a natural cycle. 

I could hear Rainbow grabbing my trash bin and hurling loudly in sickness. While I could taste the vile flavor of bile on my own tongue, I didn’t follow her lead. All I could do was slam my hoof against the floor and scream above.

“I HATE YOU, MOM AND DAD!!!!”