Chapter Ten: The Lioness Attacks
I didn’t bother keeping track of how long we were at the Ponyville Hospital. If there were two things in the world that didn’t matter to me, they were time and sleep. Sitting alone in the waiting room, it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep open my dry, weary eyeballs, turning a harsh hue of red. The chilly atmosphere of the building only increased the feeling of how frozen and sorrowful my heart grew.
My only entertainment to keep me awake was watching numerous ponies coming in and out through the sliding doors and down the aisles. The only sound that kept me alert was the receptionist punching the registration keys at her desk, trying to follow the rapid pleads for help from every sick pony coming and going. As if I didn’t already feel sick or disgusted enough, I felt this hospital was only a stopping point on the train to my own little Tartarus.
I could see a streak of rainbow zooming towards the entrance outside, fighting against the beating of the harsh spring rainfall. Rainbow Dash paused under the awning, shook herself free of the clinging water and hurriedly trotted through the doors up to me. She hung her head low, panting from her own speed.
“O-Okay, I just woke and told Twilight; she’s on her way,” she said, me nodding in reply. Dash made contact with my cold, enraged face, as I sat perfectly still in my chair. “Fluttershy, have you even tried to sleep yet?” I shook my head, as if to point out the obvious. “It’s four o’clock in the morning, they said it was going to be a while.”
“I don’t care how long I have to wait,” I hissed. “I have no reason to sleep at all, so don’t coddle me.” I turned down to my left hoof that was still encrusted with my brother’s blood. I am such an idiot.
“Shy, you can’t keep beating yourself up. It wasn’t your fault that he tried to do it. It wasn’t anypony’s fault. We’re going to make things right again.”
“No, we’re not, Rainbow Dash! I don’t know how things can possibly get better from this point. It’s like I can never do anything right, no matter how much I love him.”
“But you can at least try,” Rainbow insisted. “You’re literally the only family he has left. If you’re not loyal to him, Fluttershy, then I don’t know what has become of you.”
We were interrupted with the doors sliding open once again. Twilight, in a purple rain poncho, came dripping into our view. Her mane was unkempt, her eyes baggy, but she appeared as if sleeping and appearance were the least of her worries.
“Fluttershy, I got here as quickly as I could. Any news yet?” Twilight asked, out of breath. I kept quiet and shook my head. “Fluttershy, I know you’re upset now, but you have to help me help you. Rainbow Dash only gave me a very brief story. What exactly happened at the meeting?”
How could I even begin to explain what happened there? Did she really think it was that easy to just recount the worst night of my life, hours after it occurred, just like that? Of course it wasn’t. I just closed my eyes and tilted my head back against the concrete wall, refusing to participate in the interview.
Before Twilight even had the chance to force me to speak, the clip-clopping of approaching hooves signaled the news I’ve been waiting for. I opened my eyes and peered towards the sound to see the arrival of the nurse.
Her frazzled pink mane, that she kept in a bun, gave the impression of devotion to saving those lives in need, even if it meant sacrificing vanity. Her red cross cutie mark matched the emblem on her uniform hat, completing her heroic ensemble. All I could do was hope she was heroic enough to save my brother.
Lifting myself from the chair, I trotted up and met her with a concerned expression. She wiped the sweat off her brow and returned the look with a professional tone.
“Miss Fluttershy?” the nurse inquired, prompting me to nod. “My name is Nurse Redheart, I’ve been in charge of looking after and testing your brother, Mockingbird.”
My eyes welled. Hearing his name in that sentence only twisted my stomach into a pretzel. “How is he? Will he be okay?”
Nurse Redheart took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Your brother has suffered some serious trauma and blood loss from his wrist. Fortunately, we were able to repair his injuries on time. However, he is now experiencing some fever and mental instability. He is a very lucky stallion. If you weren’t with him at the time, he certainly would’ve died. We may need to keep him for the next night, depending on how stable his current condition is.”
For a very brief moment, I could feel a tide of relief knock me over. Mockingbird was alive, and we were able to save him. But what would this mean if I saw him and tried to speak to him?
“Can I possibly see him now, please?” I requested.
Nurse Redheart sighed. “He is resting at the moment, and really needs it. Like I said, he is not emotionally stable as of now, so it is best to remain cautious around him.”
Twilight stepped forward next to me. “Can we at least see where his room is? I want to leave him a little message for when he does wake up.”
The nurse nodded. “I can take you to his room, but only if you remain quiet around him.”
“That won’t be a problem,” I quickly replied.
“Very well,” Redheart began, “follow me.”
We walked up to the wooden door, leading into his resting room. Nurse Redheart fumbled with the lock over the knob and slowly opened it.
“Here you girls are,” she confirmed, softly. “Just be sure to not wake him. We don’t want him to be startled or alarmed.”
Twilight, Rainbow Dash and I all nodded our heads in understanding. In return, the nurse stepped aside, granting us consent to lightly trot into Mockingbird’s room. The walls were a clean, pasty white. Their blinding glow was enhanced by the humming translucent light bulbs overhead. My ears immediately picked up the steady beats of a heart moderator, which lead my eyes to the nightmarish sight.
Mockingbird laid almost lifelessly in his bed. The wires of an IV ran their trail into his wounded wrist. His chest raised and deflated in a slow pattern. The rhythm of the moderator keeping him alive continued to play in my ear, feeling like a pang to my heart on each high note.
Beep
Beep
Beep
Such torture to listen but not be able to do anything; a time when my maternal urges were at their highest. I wanted to cradle him in the cocoon my wings and give him warmth like a blanket. I wanted to kiss him until his entire face was coated in lipstick. I wanted my remedy of love from our favorite foalhood game to work its magic. But even I knew that it was a reality that just couldn’t come true.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight both looked on, wearing solemn faces mixed with grief. They said nothing, but only observed as if to show respect at a wake. I knew it was for the best that they didn’t try to say anything to me. Perhaps they could tell that the casual words of comfort would never be enough to mend my mangled, broken heart and mind.
“Mockingbird,” was all I could say, quiet and airy. Even if he did see me at that moment, I knew I was going to be the last face he would want to meet. The face of his sister. The face of the mare who thought she could change the hearts of the intolerant. The one who tried to be the hero she didn’t deserve to be. The one who almost let her beloved brother die because of her foolish actions. Foolish actions that were all done out of love. The consequences of kindness came to fruition.
Nothing kept back the lukewarm tears that slipped through my eyes. The more damp my face became, the lower I sank my face into my hooves. Controlling the volume of my moaning and breathing felt like a chore. Eventually, all my sounds just became too loud to muffle. I’m still surprised that I didn’t wake anypony up.
I felt the gentle brush of Twilight’s soft wing tip against my back, gliding up and down in a repeated motion. Rainbow hooked onto one of my forelegs and began massaging my hoof. I could feel their attempts to show all their love to me, but it was all so useless. Just like when I tried to aide him, after feeling the pain of our parents.
Wait… parents?
No, Fluttershy, you must be mistaken, my conscience said. A parent always loves, cares and supports their children unconditionally. Never would they abandon a colt for being himself. Do they even deserve to call themselves parents? Of course not! Those ponies are not parents at all; they are murderers. Murderers who tried to attack your cub. It’s time to hunt!
I swear I could feel embers spark in my pupils. As the tears continued to flow, my scrunched face lifted with a huff. Body stiffening, my brows tightened to the center of my forehead.
No more denying. No more trying to convince myself. No more passive aggression. What has being kind to them got us? Nothing. What has being peaceful and trying to compromise got us? Nothing. Seeing Mockingbird lay there, too close to death, was the straw that shattered my spine. I was hungry, and I craved for meat.
All my thoughts switched my brain into autopilot. My hooves started out slow, stepping around the foot of the bed. My nostril flared more and more as I advanced towards the door.
“Fluttershy, what is it?” Twilight asked, sounding concerned. I didn’t answer. I kept moving slowly. “Fluttershy, where are you going?”
“Uh… hello? Earth to Fluttershy?” Rainbow said while waving her hoof in my face. Again, nothing from me.
In the hallway, I pivoted to my right and picked up the pace down the corridor. The escalating thundering of my hooves could’ve been heard for miles. The further down I went, the more my trotting became a charge. “Fluttershy?!”
Before I could even tell, I was back in the lobby. I didn’t hesitate to spin around to the sliding doors and bolt outside. If anypony was in my way, well... it was just their own fault for not moving quick enough.
My rage was released outside, matching the killer winds, chills and blows of the tempest. I’m a weakling when it comes to flying, but that rain wasn’t even a challenge for me; when you’re furious, you do many crazy things out of the ordinary. I kicked off the ground hard, mud flying off my rear hooves. The current was beyond strong, but I was stronger. As my mane and fur started to feel more and more like ice water, I roughly climbed my distance into the black clouds.
The last sound I heard below me was the pleading cries of Twilight and Rainbow Dash. Before I even cared to turn back around to them, I was well above Ponyville, making my way to feed the squatting lioness.
I neither knocked nor rang the bell for my parents’ house. After ramming into the door like a bull, I could hear the lock break in two, sending me tumbling to the entrance floor. A grinding pain shot into my shoulder, eliciting a yelp and groan from me.
As my body dripped and shivered in rainwater, I forced myself to an upright position, a lake forming under my belly. My labored breathing matched the loud stomps of my hooves in front of the main staircase. My hot, exhausted eyes turned up to meet the two ponies, who were once my beloved parents. With Mom in her nightgown and Dad in his bathrobe, they each looked on with perplexed faces.
“Fluttershy… what are you doing here?” Father asked in confusion, following a yawn.
I just kept glaring in anger. My infamous stare was intact, and they could tell.
“Fluttershy, sweetheart, what’s the matter?” Mom asked, anxiously.
I finally decided to give them an answer, but only in a way I thought they would understand. Standing on my hind legs, my wings kept me afloat as I slowly clopped my front hooves together, as if to mock an applause.
“You were both right this whole time,” I said, coldly.
Dad made his first steps down the case. “Fluttershy, listen, I am terribly sorry for last night. I’m serious—”
“No, no, Daddy, it’s okay,” I interrupted. I might have sounded and appeared incredibly calm on the outside, but my inner feelings and emotions blazed more than a forest fire. I started making my way into the living room, the stream of rainwater trailing under me.
Father made his way downstairs, not even taking notice of the swinging door. “Right about what, Fluttershy, what’s going on?”
“Oh, nothing,” I snipped. Giggling like an asylum inmate, I located the wine cabinet, turned the key and ripped out a red bottle. “Oh, Mommy and Daddy, how could I have been so blind? I understand now that it is very necessary to live under the control of my parents. I see that me and Mockingbird both have to obey your every desire, even if it makes us miserable as shit.”
What? Oh, my goodness. I’m still in complete shock of saying that out loud. I never cursed before in my life, up until then.
“Fluttershy, what’s going on?” Mother asked, sounding desperate for a direct answer.
“Oh, everything is just zippity doo dah, Mother,” I chirped, wearing a painted smile like a clown. “I’m just saying: you two were always right. Being gay is worse than being a murderer, but they can still change. It’s either go straight or go die, right? Of course, right! Just like Mockingbird.”
Father’s eyes widened to the size of a platter dish. “Fluttershy, what Zeus did last night was not something I approved of.”
My teeth sank into the wooden wine cork and yanked it out, a loud pop following. Turning my head, I shot out the piece of wood like a boxer would with a broken tooth. “But he was right, Father. So was Milky Way, and you, too.” Feeling my calm demeanor beginning to slip, I raised the bottle by the neck like I was giving a toast. “And may Mockingbird’s desire to die serve as a reminder of what it means to be traditional and happy. To Family!”
Wrapping my lips around the glass rim, I threw my head back and let the wine slide down my throat. The red alcohol tasted like a mixture of grapes and cough medicine. I could feel my throat burn, resulting in my eyes stinging. My head was starting to feel incredibly heavy and fuzzy, but I kept guzzling it all like it was nothing more than water.
I couldn’t even make out a clear reason as to why I was having such a large drink in the first place. I knew I was furious and really off, but even when I’m like that—if I’m ever like that at all—I don’t usually solve my issues with a comfort beverage. The only time I ever do get a little tipsy is for special occasions; even then, I drink in very light moderation. But at that moment, the side of my brain that I usually trust was telling me that I did not want to be sober.
The moment when the final drop soaked on my tongue, I lowered my head with a sigh. Mom and Dad were looking at me like I just swallowed exotic insects. Nopony said anything. We just stared.
The lioness finally found her enemy, standing right in front of her. The foe knew what was to come, for he harmed her baby. Though the matriarch of the wild may be merciful and generous when compared to her male partner, all animals know that it is fowl play to harm her family. Even if that threat is from within the pack.
She crouched and growled, signaling her desire for blood. The enemy in front of her did nothing but waited for his punishment. Showing the weaponry that was her razor claws and teeth, the lioness’ lips pried opened, proceeding to lick them clean of dripping saliva. Knowing that her prey was right where she wanted him to be, she finally roared and pounced!
Hushing the annoyance that was the quiet, I chucked the wine bottle for Dad’s head. He immediately ducked, causing the shattered glass to rain and fly in all directions off the wall behind him. With my blood racing and teeth baring, I shot my hoof out for my next move.
“Fluttershy, stop!” Dad hollered. His plea was no use. There was nothing stopping me from growling, pulling the skin over his chest, twirling him, and launching him towards the fireplace. A loud smack of his head hit all ends of the room. Blood trickled from his temple. His broken glasses sat cracked and bent on the ground. Tartarus was empty, and all demons were inside me.
“Fluttershy, what are you doing?” he meekly asked, dread in his voice.
“What does it look like I’m doing, you old son of a bitch!?” I zipped over and continued to smack his cheek bone. Then a kick. A smack. Then a twist of the arm. Then more loud punching and screaming. The more pain I delivered, the more his face sounded like the splattering of a ripe cantaloupe. Blood flew from my fists like paint off a brush, staining the spotless clouds around.
My arms hoisted Dad to the air as I continued to spin him around and send him flying onto the couch, face down. I didn’t even have the capability to speak logically, or clearly, anymore. Every word that escaped my lips were phrases I thought I would never even think. “F” this, “B” that. I must have shouted every single profanity known to pony kind in just one sentence, alone. I never knew that was possible.
I watched him squirming around like a helpless worm. It sounded like he tried to mumble something to me and beg for mercy, but why would I be paying any attention to how he felt? Did he pay any head or mercy to Mockingbird or myself? Ignoring his cries, I straddled him on the couch and plunged my two front hooves against his blood soaked head. I proceeded in shrieking, “Why didn’t I do this to you sooner?! You never even deserved to be our father! I’m going to bury you and laugh while doing it!”
I could tell that a very different part of me was performing this punishment, not my true self. The part of me that tamed all that anger and rage inside for so many years died. I could feel the very blood and DNA of the Iron Will Fluttershy pumping through my veins. I hated that Fluttershy so much, but there was nothing I could do to stop her. Once she took over my thoughts, I was her own little meat puppet. She enjoyed every bit of torture being delivered to the stallion, who was pinned under my rump. Purely enjoyed it.
Just when I swore I could have heard Father’s terminal breath, I felt something lock around my neck, thrusting me skywards, causing my throat to gag and tighten. My hooves remained clinging to Dad’s mane, who suddenly started gasping for air with his new freedom.
“Fluttershy, please calm down!” Mom’s voice ordered into my ear.
“Are you serious?” I cried back to her, my voice croaking. “Now you’re the peacekeeper? Where were you when Mockingbird was being terrorized on his birthday?!” Neither of us listened to one another. It became a wrestling match of three: Mom versus myself versus Dad. No referee to blow the whistle. No restrictions for safety. It was win or die.
Right as I was about to deliver another blow to Dad’s head, a warm tingle, that engulfed my skin, freezed my actions. While trying to push past the weird sensation over my body, I was lifted off of Father and out of Mother’s grasp. I felt like I weighed zero pounds. I quickly realized that I was glowing a sparkling magenta that dragged me away.
“Fluttershy, what in the name of Celestia is going on here!?” Twilight, with her bright horn aimed directly at me, came into full view of the room, Rainbow Dash following. The two mares, shivering under matted furs, wore faces mixed with seriousness, worry, sadness, anger, and shock.
My eyes glared at my alicorn friend as my teeth trembled together. “Twilight, let me go! I’m finishing the job!”
“Fluttershy, you have to get a grip,” she protested. “I have everything under control.”
“Twilight Sparkle, if you don’t put me down right now, I swear to Luna—”
“What is the meaning of all this!?” Father yelled. We all turned our gazes to see him standing by the sofa, face all red, blue and black. His mane was sweaty and tangled. Blood continued to run freely out his fresh cuts and scrapes. His eyes squinted in blindness.
“What happened here?” Rainbow asked, stepping over the remains of the wine bottle.
“I think we all want to know the same,” Mom uttered, hoof clenching her panicking chest.
All four of my hooves kicked and flailed in Twilight’s aura. Useless. I’ve always hated it whenever she did this to me. “What... are you... even... doing here, Twilight?”
“Fluttershy, you just went bolting out of the hospital. We had to follow you, what did you expect? And Rainbow Dash just told me everything, so I’m also here on some heavy legal business.”
“Your highness, I can assure you that we hold a very respectful and legal home,” Dad tried to insist, looking like he was resisting to cower.
“Not from what I heard,” Twilight retorted as she stepped further into his vision, while keeping me frozen and afloat in her magic. She wore a face that she obviously practiced many times. Even for those outside of Equestrian royalty, it is common knowledge that a princess must rehearse what Twilight was about to do. The very duty that makes everypony bow in respect and almost fear the princesses, no matter how motherly they appear.
Twilight cleared her throat before breathing slowly. She then announced in an official tone, “To the home of Barrister and April Shower of Cloudsdale, Equestria. I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, hereby announce that you have been filed for potential arrest under the following charges: Forced eviction of a family member, repeated acts of vandalism, physical assault, and holding responsibility for the attempted suicide of your own son, Mockingbird.
“Under the official laws of Princess Celestia, you and the organization of Traditional Pegasus Family are to be scheduled for an official hearing to take place in Canterlot. Until an official date is settled, you will be given the time to settle your case and arguments. Failure to comply with this law will result in automatic imprisonment, for a bail fee of no more or less than 500,000 bits.”
Dad stared at Twilight, then to me, with a very fearful, alarmed face. “Mockingbird tried to kill himself? Fluttershy, no, please listen. That wasn’t apart of our plan at all. Zeus overstepped his bounds.”
“You already overstepped your so called bounds when you kicked Mockingbird out!” I snarled. “You have no idea how much distress you have caused both of us. Do you know why I wanted to talk with you and Mom? Because I still loved you! I was very angry, but I still loved you. I thought you could open your heart for once in your life, and show the simplest act of love, but I was wrong. You can never change, your heart is black and I… I just hate you so much!” I continued to kick in another weak attempt to escape Twilight’s magic, but again, nothing.
“Take it easy, Fluttershy, it’ll be alright now,” Twilight said to me. I couldn’t see any reason why she was trying to make me feel better. Twilight returned her focus to my parents. “An official court order from Celestia should be arriving to your home within a day. It will give you the dates of the hearing and all you need to sign.”
“Twilight, I’m calm, now,” I interrupted with my voice going from angry to demure. With my legs motionless on my command, I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. “No more fighting, it’s all out of my system.”
Twilight looked at me, skeptically. “You sure? No more fighting.”
I gently nodded, not showing any more signs of the beast like rage that screamed in my head. As slow and gentle as she could be, Twilight lowered me back to the ground, extinguishing the spell from her horn.
“Looks like you’re gonna get what’s coming to ya,” Rainbow Dash sneered to Dad while making her way towards the door frame. My father said nothing. He kept silent with a stare of disbelief. Mom appeared even more timid and frightened than I’ve ever seen her. Never could they have ever pictured their own daughter bringing them to a justice they deserved.
I tried my hardest to keep calm and follow Twilight towards the exit, but halted. I eyed the many pieces of broken glass next to my hooves. There was my chance! With my royal friend looking away, I could finish what I went there to do.
In a very swift motion without even thinking, my head swooped down, clenched a knife long shard with my teeth, and spun around with a leap. My wings buzzed, causing me to accelerate on my already screaming father. This was the moment to shut him up and prove, once and for all, that I was the strong one. That when you mess with a lioness, you get the claws and teeth. You try to harm her loved ones, you become her dinner.
My head twisted to my right and quickly unraveled. The sliced blood from Dad’s forehead flew with the blade across its path. As I listened to his horrid cries of agony, my eyes once again bursted like water balloons. An action that I never saw myself ever committing happened without my conscience. I was a monster.
Mom and Dad’s shrieks was met with the frantic gasps of my friends—along with the return of the magenta glow, yanking me away. With my whole body quivering under the telekinesis, I continued to sob and curse so furiously, my throat felt like it was bleeding. After being turned a full one hundred-eighty degrees, I was forced to look into the very center of Twilight’s eyes.
My groggy voice screamed, “Twilight, put me—”
“Sleep, Fluttershy,” Twilight cooed, soothingly. Her violet eyes, looking so gentle and peaceful, filled my whole vision. A light, dizzy feeling filled my brain.
Twilight’s presence was all I was able to see. The urge to retaliate was gone. Calming down felt too natural for me. My legs dangled like a rag doll, as my eyelids slowly started to slide down. My crying and breathing died down with my head starting to swoon.
I tried to say something, but ended up mumbling some noises that were barely audible. My eyes finally blurred and closed. All I could feel was a pair of gentle forelegs, wrapping around my waist and head. A soft hush was all I could hear, canceling out all the chaos to make way for the sleep that I fell into.