Rapidash accuses you of not knowing her name.

Rated T for the T word.

Cute and adorable ponies go about their daily lives in Equestria, and yet none of them can forget that in 1998 The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and he plummeted sixteen feet through the Spanish Announcer's Table.

Suddenly finding herself in hell, Twilight is presented with one fact: for the rest of eternity, she's stuck in a library holding every book possible. She's expected to organize them and is allowed to read them.

What makes this hell, again?

Now has two Spanish translations, one by SPANIARD KIWI and another by Pugg-Senpai.

This story is a sequel to Best Hell Ever

Once upon a time, Twilight went to hell. It wasn’t that bad. It was pretty great, actually. It had a library! A big one. Like, bigger-than-the-universe big. But then Twilight went and got herself kicked out of hell, and now she’s depressed.

There’s only one logical solution: with Starlight’s reluctant help, Twilight is going to break into hell and invade its library. Oh, it’ll be tricky — trying to find one specific location in an infinite dimension tends to be a bit hard — but the infinite knowledge it’ll provide is too good to pass up. Twilight will find that library if it kills her (which, since this is hell, isn’t the worst thing ever in the grand scheme of things).

There is absolutely no way this can possibly go wrong.

First impressions are important. A bad one can ruin one's credibility for a long time. John Wildman - the second human to ever arrive in Equestria - is learning that the hard way.

After almost hunting down Applejack, he is trying to adjust to his new home - struggling not only against his own demons and doubts but also against prejudice and hatred.

Ashamed by the bigotry she is witnessing, Celestia is starting to wonder if her subjects are really as forgiving and kind, as she thought. Together with the help of edgy human super-soldier James "Bastard Man" Gastovski and Twilight, she is determined to figure this out and help John before it's too late.

Meanwhile, CMCs and Cheerilee are trying to figure out, why Scootaloo became reckless and vile all of a sudden - forcing new human, to be a participant of their investigation - whether he likes it, or not.

Can an outcast like John make some friends and maybe... save someone in the process?

This story can be considered somewhat of a sequel to both:

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/353834/lonely-among-us
and
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/409639/dashing-to-dirty-conclusions

with James, as a recurring character, alongside the new guy. However, reading the above stories is NOT necessary.

Silhouette vector from:
https://pixabay.com/pl/zdesperowany-stres-podkre%C5%9Bli%C5%82-2676556/

Planned story length:
90-120 K words

Changelog:

2019-08-13:
- Removed 'Comedy' tag - it was suggested by a lot of people that this story has become too dark, and tag should be removed. Sadly, I had to agree.

Twilight Sparkle keeps using a specific phrase out in public to describe her 'special relationship' with her friends. Said friends are convinced it does not mean what Twilight thinks it means.

Part of the MAD verse.

Thanks to Steel Resolve and Nova Quill/Firimil for their edits and sugestions! Also thanks to DrakeyC for the story prompt and his edits and suggestions!

And finally, thanks to jhayarr23 for the hilarious cover art.

Weeks after defeat, the sirens known to many as the Dazzlings lost their magical voice. Adagio became depressed, Aria shut herself from the world, and Sonata just did what she could.

Adagio used to pay for everything, but ever since that fateful encounter, she was simply too depressed. Sonata thought she could do it, but suddenly, Aria was paying for everything.

Sonata wondered; where is she getting all the money?

Now has a sequel! “Whoa Adagio, Why are You So Small?”

Wonderfully edited by Level Dasher.

Want more shorts on EQG? Check out my the other Equestria Girls one shots!

Nobles have long held sway over Equestrian culture. They are the trendsetters, the heads of the pack. Simply the way they speak can influence language. When they create compliments, similarly-phrased praise spreads throughout the nation. When they implement insults, ponies create situations for those insults to be used. One insult, in particular, has gone down in history as especially infamous.

I'm talking about butts and the photocopying thereof. This is still Equestrian nobility, after all. It's complicated. And stupid. Mostly stupid.

Has a dramatic reading done by Skijarama.

With Hearth's Warming approaching, Applejack takes a moment to chat up a fellow vendor at the Ponyville market, and find what she thinks is a pony in need of a friend. But the holidays mean different things for different ponies, and some don't necessarily celebrate Hearth's Warming as Applejack does.

But it may be that there's still a way she can brighten up their holidays.

Entry for 2018 Jinglemas, written for Chris

In Canterlot's central shopping district, gift clocks are the newest Hearth’s Warming sensation: a present every day until the Eve itself, all in one convenient giant box! You can give them to other ponies! You can buy them for yourself and get a little surprise with every sunrise! They come in all sorts of themes! And as our eagerly shopping Bearers are about to discover, every last one has something in common.

Really, why does everypony keep presuming the ensuing riots are their fault?

(Dedicated without shame to Stuart Ashen.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.