“Damn it, girl – if I still had a heart, you would have given me an attack for sure!”
“Huh?” Applejack opened her eyes, the blurred world around her starting to slowly clear up. “What? Where?”
“Twilight’s castle... Or rather palace, why the hell does everyone call this place a castle is beyond me,” James said, helping her to get up. “Easy there girl, you’ve been through one hell of a ride.”
It took a moment before she managed to sit back up and the room stopped spinning. Regaining some composure, she glanced around in confusion. The area she was in looked like a hospital room – with a few movable beds connected to some sort of medical equipment, surrounded by curtains.
“This is Twilight’s place? This room looks more like a— Sweet Celestia!” She dropped to the ground, her eyes locked onto James standing above her, his body covered in blood. “What the hay did you do?!”
“You mean the blood? It happened when I interrupted your intimate date with Mr. Shrapnel here,” he dropped a small piece of metal onto the table, “I realize he almost stole your heart but—”
Applejack slammed her hoof on the table near her bed. “Talk normally!”
“Fine, Mrs. Killjoy… This piece of metal pierced a part of your heart and grazed your lung – you were bleeding out faster than I piss, after a six-pack.”
Applejack’s eyes widened. “Are you saying that this is—”
“Your blood, yeah. You are lucky that Twi and I are into researching some new drugs and I had some pony blood left.”
“But… why am I not in the hospital? Who patched me up?” James smiled. “Y-you? How? You’re not a doctor!”
Rubbing his hand together, he put on a sly grin. “I had a mandatory UNDF field medical training just… three hundred years ago, plus I’m a big fan of ER and House MD, so it was easy-peasy,” Applejack said, nothing – just staring blankly, her face pale as a ghost. “Although… I did misplace my scissors somewhere… You don’t feel anything funny in your gut, do you? I wouldn’t want to operate again,” his grin transformed into a crazy smile as he extended one of his wristed blades.
“I think I’m gonna be sick…” Applejack pressed her hoof to her mouth.
“‘I’m gonna be sick’… really?” Rolling his eyes, James retracted his weapon. “I’m practically playing Freddy Kruger in front of you, and your only reaction is ‘I’m gonna be sick’? Jesus fucking Christ AJ, you are no fun… Anyway, to answer your question – moderately advanced medical procedures are part of my programming, and I got you here instead of the hospital because the heart damage was extensive. I doubt you would survive without my nano-tech—”
“What?!” Applejack regained her composure in a blink of an eye. “You used that fancy techno-jumbo on ME?!
“Yes, I know how you despise technology, magic and me – but there was no other way. I guess you can say, a part of me will always be in your heart… Quite literally, I might add,” he let out a chuckle. “Oh, I also fixed your mangled hoof – I’m that good!”
Applejack glanced at the hoof she injured during the chase, but aside from a few bruises and some scratches, it looked as good as new. Her eyes moved to the side of her stomach, but again, it looked fine – except for some red stains left by the blood.
She let out a sigh. “Thanks, I guess… I—” as she tried to get up again, a searing pain shot up her flank. “Oh nelly… That hurts!” Gritting her teeth, she glanced at James piercing him with her cold gaze. “You… you didn’t try anything funny, while I was out, did you?”
“Funny?” James arched his eyebrow. “You… you think I’m a somnophil?” He chuckled darkly shaking his head. “Now I see what the ‘no good deed ever goes unpunished’ means. For the record – I have nothing to do with the pain in your flank, this bad boy does,” he threw her another small flattened piece of metal. “If it weren’t for the stuff in your bag that slowed it down, Celestia would have to look for a new bearer of the element. You’re lucky you had that thing on you.”
Applejack glanced at the piece of metal in her hoof and let out a deep, slow sigh. “Not lucky enough, I lost the merchandise…”
“I get it, that bag was important, but it’s not the end of the world is it?”
“We’ll see...” She said, putting a confused expression on James’s face. “Never mind.”
“Well, anyway, just so you know, somnophilia is not my fetish. But, it’s good to know you think so highly of me…”
“You have a reputation mister, you got only yourself to blame for it.”
James put on a sly grin. “At least I don’t have a reputation of rutting my cousin…” Suddenly, Applejack’s eyes widened again and cheeks turned red. For a moment her jaw was going up and down, as her brain desperately searched for a response – to the delight of James. “Yeah, I know about your little workout with Braeburn, behind the barn—”
“T-that’s not true!” Applejack finally stuttered, only to see James’s smile widened. “H-hey! We were fillies, and it was just a misunderstanding, honest! … where did you even heard about that?!”
“Ponies like to talk AJ, some would say that you have a reputation… and that you got only yourself to blame for it.”
She rose her hoof to counter, but smiled sheepishly instead. “Point taken… But like I said, this was just a misunderstanding!”
“Don’t worry, if I believed everything I hear, then Pinkie would be a fallen daemon, Flutters an evil enchantress and Rainbow Dash a brainless cunt… Oh, wait – the last one is true but other than that…”
Aside from rolling her eyes, Applejack didn’t comment on his remark. Everyone in Ponyville knew about James’s feud with Rainbow Dash, but nopony took it seriously. They were just two show-offs – more similar to each other than they wanted to admit – trying to prove who is a better hero.
“All right, look – there is one more thing we need to clear up…” James said. “Um, look there.”
She glanced behind her, at the direction he pointed and immediately jumped back. “W-what is that THING doing here?!”
“He is injured and—”
“He?”
“He is a human.”
***
“I don’t understand, you told us your kind was extinct,” Applejack said.
“They were… I have no idea how he got here… or from where.”
For the first time since this all begin, Applejack glanced at the creature in the light. I knew that thing reminded me of something… “He looks almost like you.”
“Yeah… He is wearing a standard issue, NAA PA.”
She cocked her head, blinking. “The who, what now?”
“North America Alliance – they were one of the main factions during the WWIII on my world, and best equipped to, the UNDF borrowed a lot of their tech – including this powered armor.”
“That’s why the two of you look so similar?”
“Yup, my armor is based on the model he is wearing, only it is much more advanced. Speaking of armor APE, how is it going? It’s been three hours…”
A second later, synthesized, emotionless voice filled the air. “Generic access code search in progress, standby—”
“Gah! That thing is listening?!” Applejack said. “It always gives me the creeps!”
James chuckled. “Artificial Person Emulators don’t bite Applejack, and yes, just like any AI, APE hears what I hear and sees what I see… Well, a lot more actually, with all the sensors and stuff.”
Applejack shook her head. “Say what you will, that’s creepy – I can’t imagine having some voice in my head.”
“Well, he CAN break the mood sometimes during my happy hour… If you know what I mean—”
“Ugh! I really don’t need the details!”
James smiled. “Taboo, huh?”
“No! Some ponies just… don’t do it.”
“And some lie about not doing it… Then again, you are the Element of Honesty with a big brother, so perhaps you found other means to relieve the… stress.”
Applejack tried to hit grinning James with her hoof, only to receive another painful surge from her body as a result. “Y-you are just… Ugh! I’m going home!”
Suddenly the look of concern filled James’s face. “Whoa! Hold on! I would recommend staying here till morning – nano-tech or not, your body needs some time to heal, besides… Aren’t you curious about this guy? Who he is? How he got here?”
Applejack wanted to get away from there as fast as possible, but even standing still, she could still feel her body aching. After a moment, she reluctantly, let out a sigh and turned around. “Fine, I’ll stay, but no more stupid jokes or innuendos – you hear me?!”
“Applejack, everything is a sexual innuendo if you think long and hard about it,” James chuckled, only to see her turning to leave. “Fine, fine! I’m not gonna say anything more—”
A sudden announcement from APE interrupted him, “Code accepted, armor locking mechanism released.”
“Finally… Three hours, where is all that quantum computing speed there were always talking about, huh?”
“I am afraid that my computational abilities are limited by the performance of the host’s brain capabilities, sir,” APE said.
This time it was Applejack who let out a chuckle. “So, you are saying that your master is a blockhead? Hmm, maybe that thing ain’t so bad after all – at least it seems honest.”
“Fuck you! … both of you!” He tried to sound intimidating, but Applejack kept smirking. “… blockhead, you’re a blockhead…” He mumbled as he started opening the armor. “Arg… come on you bastard, what the hell…”
“Structural damage in primary locking mechanism – probably from the earlier encounter, sir.”
James smiled sheepishly. “I guess I overdid it a little…”
“Like always,” Applejack murmured.
“No problem! Next time I will try using harsh language instead!” Ungrateful bitch…
Suddenly, a click sound filled the air and James froze – his face filled with confusion. That’s impossible – you are dead…
***
With James still unresponsive, Applejack slowly approached the table the second human was lying on – her heart speeding up the closer she got. Keep it together girl, he won’t harm you… I hope. Shivering slightly, she glanced at the person that just a few hours ago, tried to kill her.
The man looked older than James – his face was covered in multiple scars, some of them behind a light stubble, and his short hair was showing signs of going gray. Eh… just what Equestria needs, another good-for-nothing human.
“Hey! You OK?” She yelled at James, snapping him awake.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been staring at that thing for last minute or two, what’s wrong?”
He scratched his head. “That’s… I don’t understand… I don’t know how the hell is that possible, but that’s Wildman!” Applejack arched her eyebrow. “Sgt. John Wildman?” She cocked her head. “Ugh, a guy from my former squad, OK? But the last time I heard, he was KIA – I have no idea where he came from, or how. I will try to wake him up.”
Applejack watched as James prepared a syringe with a mixture of various medications. So, they are friends? That explains a lot… Even more trouble for Ponyville.
A few moments later James injected his friend with the drugs. “Um, Applejack, promise me you won’t press charges against him.”
“What?!” She slammed her hoof into the ground with force. “You gotta be kidding! He tried to kill me for Celestia’s sake!”
“Yeah, but… with all those nano-tech injections, you will probably live twenty years longer – so in the end, it was a good thing, right?” With her eyebrow arched and crumbled face, Applejack didn’t look like someone laughing at the joke. “OK, how about this one… The way I see it, that was the third time I saved your flank. I never asked for anything in return, but this time I ask you – let him be.”
Her eyes traveled from the unconscious human to the one asking her for the favor. You are both nothing but trouble… ”Ugh, fine, but keep him the hay away from me.”
“Pinkie promise?”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Happy?”
Their conversation was interrupted by a loud groan coming from the table…
***
“Ugh… my head,” John said, slowly opening his eyes. “Where am I?”
Fuck! If he sees Applejack… James gestured her to keep out of sight and stepped into the view. “Hospital Johnny boy.”
“Boss?” John started massaging his temples. “Damn, I feel like if I was hit in the head by an elephant or something. The rest of the squad… Did they make it?”
“Um, for now, we were only able to locate you. What is the last thing you remember from the… mission?”
“We got inside Houser Labs, everything was going fine, but once we placed the charges, it all went FUBAR.”
Houser Labs… that would be the mission – when they officially died. “Go on, what happened?”
“It was goddamn chaos! We were up against the whole damn garrison – outnumbered fifty to one. They got us pinned down and…” John heaved a heavy sigh. “Jeff and Webber were first to fall, then Meltdown’s powered armor got busted. At that point, we were running out of ammo, and the clock was ticking so Kleiner proposed to use that contraption we went to blow up to transport out of there.”
James cocked his head, his face filled with confusion.
“Yeah, that was my first reaction too… But since we were dead anyway, I said ‘what the hell…’
“Seems like it was a good call in the end Johnny.”
“Maybe, but the ride was pretty wild… Since they were no volunteers, Kleiner and I went first and…” John let out a groan of disgust. “I can still remember the rainbow colors, the tunnel and me spinning, and spinning… until I passed out. Hours later we woke up in the middle of some forest, with most of the gear busted, so I activated the built-in rescue beacon and set up a camp in the nearby cave.”
“Hmm, I… we didn’t find you waiting in a cave.”
“Well, it took you guys so long that we were running out of ration, and the food I found nearby must have been full of hallucinogens or something because after we ate it, I could swear I saw the sun and the moon just popping out of the horizon!” He shook his head. “Anyway, I left Kleiner in the cave, grabbed what was left of our weapons and went out to hunt something to eat—”
“WHAT?!” Applejack yelled, jumping into view. “You wanted to EAT ME?!”
John eyed Applejack and blinked – his mouth agape. “What the hell? That thing’s real?!” Perhaps it was the fact he saw a talking pony for the first time… or maybe it was because Applejack was giving him a stare that was gnawing to the bone. “I-it talks!”
“God damn it Applejack! He is not ready yet—”
“That thing TALKS!” John yelled, and with his shaking hands pushed himself to the far end of the bed, his eyes locked on Applejack. “Jesus Christ, what are you?! "
Fucking great Applejack, you had one job, ONE JOB! “John, meet Applejack – now that I’m nearby with my universal translator thingy, you can understand each other – say ‘hi’ Applejack,” she snorted loudly, her killer stare still upon John. “Um, that was ‘hi.’”
For a moment they just stared at each other – her eyes, burning with rage, and his wide in horror.
“OK, both of you calm down—”
“No! “This is just another hallucination!” John yelled, hopping off the bed and grabbing a scalpel lying on the nearby medical table. “Stay away!”
Applejack immediately took a fighting pose. “Come on you vermin! This time I’m ready for you!” But instead of an attack, the other human was slowly backing away with his arms in the guard position, and body shaking.
“Stay away! Just… stay away!”
“Wow, relax man—”
Instead of calming down, John kicked a nearby chair, sending it flying with enough force – thanks to his power armor – to launch James into the air and across the room when it hit him. Seeing his chance, John immediately dashed to the door, passing confused Applejack and grabbing the handle – but before he could open it, his body sparkled yet again as a few million volts passed through his system.
Applejack glanced at James, to see him already back on his feet and approaching his dazed friend with a syringe in his hand – his weapon letting off some light steam.
“Sorry man, but this is for your own good!” James said, pumping John with a sedative. “Sleep! We will talk later,” a moment later John’s body relaxed, and he was out cold, James moved him back to the bed.
“Is he unconscious?” Applejack said, approaching cautiously.
“You couldn’t just stay away for a few minutes?!”
She bit her lip. “I… sorry… But he said he wanted to eat me, darn it!”
James let out a sigh. “AJ, as much as that may shock you, we humans eat meat – he was just… hungry,” Applejack opened her mouth, but he interrupted her with a wave of his hand. “Don’t say it, I know… Anyway, he will be out for a while, and I need to go.”
Applejack tilted her head. “Go? Go where?”
“Everfree, didn’t you hear? There is another guy over there—”
“What?! You gonna leave him here without supervision?! What if he wakes up?”
“I pumped him with enough drugs for a few hours at least, and I’ll be back in one at most… Besides, you are staying here so you can have an eye on him,” Applejack’s face crumpled up. “Oh, don’t give me that look! The other guy is an egghead, not a soldier, timberwolves will have him for breakfast if I don’t find him fast! That’s something you should understand…”
Looking back between the two humans, Applejack let out a deep sigh. “Fine… but be back soon.”
James nodded and opened the door, but stopped. “You know, if you want something to do, you could clean this place up a bit,” Applejack squinted her eyes, and grumbled. “What? It’s your blood after all, you know!”
Seconds later he disappeared into the night, leaving the grumbling earth pony, alone with the sleeping human. “One day… I’m gonna buck him to the moon! Ugh, where is the darn mop…”