• Member Since 31st Oct, 2012

Sir Mediocre


If nobody is telling the story you want to read, then you have to tell it yourself.

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Found 159 stories in 66ms

Total Words: 23,575,118
Estimated Reading: 9 weeks

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E

This story is a sequel to The Waiting Doom


It was just a bad cold. But the Cakes are first-time parents, they panicked, and... well, the twins fully recovered in the Canterlot hospital. Pinkie just didn’t know about any of it until now, because she was on a mission. So to make up for her absence, she’s sending the Cakes home. Pinkie can bring the foals home after they’re discharged. Which should be any minute now.

...or hour...

Well, it’s a big hospital. Maybe she can find something to do.

(While this story is tagged as a sequel, the only thing it shares with the previous one is theme. It can be read as a stand-alone, and no reader knowledge of previous events is required.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)
E

Celestia has given Sweetie Belle a rare opportunity to become an exchange student where she can bring friendship to a whole new world’s students of magic. Elsewhere, Theodore Nott has been given a similar opportunity: turn down his Seventh Year at Hogwarts in order to learn powerful magic from the cursebreakers of the Equestrian Crystal Empire.

Neither of them has the slightest idea what they are about to experience over the next year.

Editors: Tek, Peter, Charles H
Cover art from Florida's Harry Potter World at night.

Chapters (15)
T
Source

It's a theoretically simple setup: five ponies on a train, deciding that playing a popular board game about the restructuring of a barren planet so that it can comfortably sustain life for the ponies of Equestria. They all compliment each other when it comes to forming the perfect group for a board game: Rainbow Dash brings her undeniable charisma to the table, Starlight Glimmer brings her brains, Rarity brings her panache, Applejack brings her delightfully sardonic wit, and Fluttershy's also just kind of there, I guess.

Theoretically, it shouldn't be a bad way to spend a couple of hours.

Theoretically.



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My entry into no writing competition whatsoever. The idea of deliberately sending yourself up to be graded like a bad entry on the fanfic equivalent of Hell's Kitchen doesn't really do anything for me, thank you very much.

Story is a work in progress. Expect to see new chapters Mon-Fri between 2:00 PM-5:00 PM CST, and that's a schedule I'm really going to try to keep to for a change of pace.

All my thanks to Flashgen for his help.

Elements of cover art are by Isaac Fryxelius, and will be taken down upon request.

Chapters (12)
T

It's a simple request, really. Can't they do just a little more for Ponyville, especially when they consider all the things they've done to Ponyville and how this might help to pay for some of the damages? It's just spending a few hours at the town's street fair, being among the population, making themselves freely accessible --

-- well, not freely. After all, the kisses have to cost something, or how is the money being raised?

Kiss A Bearer For A Bit.
Arrive early. There might be a line.



Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)
T

This story is a sequel to Entrenchment


Boarding actions are often frantic, desperate assaults. Men are launched directly into the greatest bastions of the enemy while guns that can level city blocks roar around them. Boarding soldiers are swarmed in minutes by all manner of defenses and opponents, trying to wreak what havoc they can within a vessel's belly before they're overwhelmed and extinguished. Incoming fire from their own ships continue to pound away at their target the entire time. Depressurization, incineration, and rad-flensing are all common ends to the life of the boarding trooper, and as often as not their death comes as a result of their own sabotage.

Pity these courageous souls who take their weapons to the hearts of giants.

(Dark humor warning; grimdark themes)
(Cover art by EZTP)
(Featured on 8/4/2019!)

Chapters (3)
T
Source

Clover the Clever never asked for his life to get so complicated.  It was bad enough tricking a drunk Imperatrix Celestia, war goddess of the Three Tribes, out of her accidental coup against Queen Platinum.  But now the most dangerous pony in Equestria has returned to trade her claim on the sun for a chance to woo him.

On top of that, his erstwhile mentor Star Swirl the Bearded has saddled him with a mysterious magical necklace and a uniquely bleak and pointless prophecy: If he's brave enough, and if he's clever enough, he just might survive Celestia for long enough to break her heart.


Now with an audio reading by ScarlettBlade!

Recommended by PresentPerfect! "horizon gave me the story I needed rather than the one I wanted ... along the way we get some very strong lessons about love, and meditations on the value of a lifetime and what one pony can achieve on their own."

Featured on Equestria Daily!

First place, "Out of Time" Writeoff! (11/2015) At long last, expanded to novella size! The world-spanning, centuries-spanning romance as it was always meant to be told!

PRAISE FOR THE WRITEOFF VERSION:
"One of my favorite depictions of Celestia in a long time." –billymorph
"To the top of the ballot with it." –AugieDog
"There’s going to be a lot of tears shed when this one hits publish." –Georg
"You need to read Time Enough For Love. I literally swore out loud when my computer crashed when I was halfway through, and then I immediately whipped out my smartphone to finish it. And now I'm reading it again in a desperate attempt to figure out how it does its job so damn well." –Bachiavellian
"I can get behind some historical revisionism for such a brilliant story. The writing is second-to-none … I laughed, I cried, and I felt other things too." –Trick Question

Cover art by Nadnerb.

Chapters (12)
T

To escape from Tartarus is nearly impossible, even for one of great magical power. When you've lost your powers and are little more than a withered old centaur, it's even harder. But Tirek has a plan, one that will draw in a creature from a world where life is cheap, hats are plentiful, and gravel is king. Will the Spy take the opportunity to enjoy a well-earned vacation in this new world, or will he see the population of friendly, innocent ponies as just a fresh selection of backs to stab? It could be both!

(Takes place before the beginning of Season 9.)

Chapters (21)
T

During an attack on Ponyville in the middle of the Summer Sun Festival, Princess Twilight Sparkle evacuates the town by teleporting the entire population to safety in Manehattan. It turns out that her idea of safety needs some work. As well as her aim. And spelling.

Meanwhile, on a hot summer day outside of Manhattan, Kansas, Jonagold Bruener had a fairly successful life with few complications. Until while out mowing hay, he had a very strange visitor fall from the sky. And then another. And another. And another....

Editors: Tek, TheMaskedFerret, Peter, BluePaladin42, Edward Becerra

Picture credit: Manhattan Water Tower

Chapters (38)
T

This story is a sequel to Best Hell Ever


Once upon a time, Twilight went to hell. It wasn’t that bad. It was pretty great, actually. It had a library! A big one. Like, bigger-than-the-universe big. But then Twilight went and got herself kicked out of hell, and now she’s depressed.

There’s only one logical solution: with Starlight’s reluctant help, Twilight is going to break into hell and invade its library. Oh, it’ll be tricky — trying to find one specific location in an infinite dimension tends to be a bit hard — but the infinite knowledge it’ll provide is too good to pass up. Twilight will find that library if it kills her (which, since this is hell, isn’t the worst thing ever in the grand scheme of things).

There is absolutely no way this can possibly go wrong.

Chapters (7)
T
Source

Five hundred years after the Discord's first defeat, a lone unicorn scientist makes an interesting discovery. Across Canterlot, over the last few centuries, accident rates have increased in the area around the Royal Palace. His work is ridiculed by his peers, but comes to the attention of the Princesses, who know exactly what is happening: Discord is waking up. With Luna and Celestia, he concocts a plan to stop the Lord of Chaos forever.

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Cover art butchered from UnderwoodART's render of the stained glass in S02E01.
This story is based on S1/S2 (Discord was never released and reformed) and sits within my Soot-Covered World canon, but is stand-alone. No knowledge of the other books is required.

All thanks to ascendant, NoeCarrier, turol, KMCA, Caliaponia and billymorph for their prereading and editing over the life of this story.

Chapters (36)