12. The Future
There was a faint scrambling noise from outside the throne room, then a grunt, and a quiet rattling as pebbles showered down from a not-quite-solid hoofhold.
Celestia waited.
In the circle of starlight shimmering through the hole in one pitch-black wall, a dark equine silhouette clambered up to all four legs, pausing for a moment to take a breath. It took a step forward and dropped again, letting out a feminine yelp as it faceplanted. A cacophonous skitter suggested a collection of objects spilling to the floor.
The visitor bit back the first syllable of an Earth-dialect curse word, and her silhouette shifted around the lower edge of the starlight, accompanied by the scrape of hooves on floor and the occasional clatter of finding something by touch.
Celestia waited.
There was a loud clack, and a momentary flash as flint sparked on steel. A moment later, light flared up as flame enveloped the rag-wrapped end of a short stick. The other end was clenched in the teeth of a dirt-smeared, white-coated earth pony, whose flattened muzzle and faintly striped legs suggested okapi crossbreeding somewhere in the family tree.
The pony glanced backward at what had tripped her, and her eyes widened. A small section of the broken shaft of a warhammer was embedded deeply in the wall at the edge of the hole, looking like it had been flung with impossible force.
She turned slowly back around, throat muscles tightening as she swallowed, then spit the torch out into the crook of one pastern. "Y-your Highness?" she said, fear thick in her voice as she peered into the darkness.
Celestia waited.
The mare's legs were openly trembling, and she made no move forward. "M-my name is Silver," she said, eyes sweeping through the darkened room. "S-silver Polish. I used to work in Everfree as a maid, but we never really met. I —" Her voice faltered for a moment. "I know you don't like being bothered any more." She forced a smile. "I didn't want to bother you, either, but I drew today's lot, so, um, if you'll just raise the sun, please, I can leave and let you be…?"
Celestia said nothing.
Fear and desperation warred on Silver's muzzle, and she let out a whicker from deep in her throat, hooves rocking in a suppressed little dance. She stilled herself with obvious effort, then forced a smile.
"Please, Your Highness?" she said. "It's a special day today. The first Summer Sun since you saved the world from the Imperatrix. So we'd like to celebrate your —"
A golden glow flared in the center of the darkened throne room, followed by a lightning blur of golden light. Before Silver could even blink, there was a hollow whunk, and a new section of warhammer-shaft was embedded in the wall just past her ear, vibrating fiercely.
"— vic … tory …" she trailed off. A lock of pale blue hair, neatly shorn, drifted down from her mane to the floor.
Silver screamed. She bolted out the hole, dropping the torch as she scrambled and leapt. Celestia said nothing. The torch slowly guttered out.
A few minutes later, there was the sound of cautious motion out in the starlight. "Y-your Highness?" a thoroughly miserable voice said, muffled, from around a corner. "I'm so sorry. But if nopony raises the sun, our crops will fail and we'll start freezing …"
Celestia said nothing.
There was silence from outside, then a choked-back sob. "P-please," Silver whimpered. "I-I can't leave until you do. A-and, um, if I don't come back, t-they'll just send somepony else."
There was a shuddering sob from inside.
Then the throne room was bathed in golden hornglow. Outside, a shadow-darkened moon trembled and slipped below the horizon. The sky lightened, and reddened, and suddenly burst into daylight.
Silver let out a sob of relief. "Thank you, Your Highness!" she shouted, followed by the sound of galloping hooves receding at top speed.
Celestia waited. And, when the noises from outside had faded into the distance, her eyes gradually settled closed, and she returned to the uneasy half-sleep that had tormented her for a year.
Clover emerged with a body-jolting thump into a blinding halo of light.
He went limp until gravity finished having its way with him, settling painfully against something cool and hard. The light lurched around in his vision as he jolted to a stop, but refused to go away. He squinted — wondering for a moment if he was still in the middle of the Harmonic blast, but the glare was too white. Then it occurred to him to consider whether he had died and was orienting to the Ever Upward. But it didn't seem right that the afterlife would welcome him with both throbbing agony in every corner of his body, and the distant, muted sounds of birdcall.
Whatever the situation, there weren't any homicidal shadow demons. That was a plus. So he closed his eyes for a while, and listened to that birdcall while his pain subsided and the light baked off the last lingering tendrils of darkness from his form.
After some time, Clover rolled his head against the hard surface, then finally managed to block the glare by clumsily lifting a hoof to shade his face. As he cracked his eyes open and blinked the spots out of them, straight lines began to resolve in the surrounding dimness: the walls and corners of what had once been Everfree Palace's new throne room.
Slowly, the halo resolved into a shaft of sunlight peeking at a low angle through the giant hole in the ceiling. Clover was centered in that spotlight; a second sunbeam shone through a hole in the back wall with two thin, broken spears embedded in the edge, and that spotlight illuminated the crater in the center of the room where both alicorns had landed during their fight. The rest of the room was lit only indirectly from those sources. No mage-lights shone on the walls. Heaps of rubble had been stacked in front of the doors, blocking every entrance except for the holes. The background sensations of dark magic and Harmonic surge — and the tangy ozone of overwhelming magical discharge — still suffused the room and clung to the back of Clover's throat. That seemed impossible if a full year had passed since the fight, but then, everything about the Everfree had seemed subtly off since his encounter with Discord.
At first Clover thought the room was empty. But then he saw her: A pale form slumped in the center of the crater. What at first had looked like a mound of pebbles was a sprawled wing, white turned grey beneath a layer of dust. Her once-sleek barrel was emaciated and patchily discolored, rising and falling in barely perceptible waves.
Clover's jaw dropped.
He staggered to his hooves, wincing as fresh pain blossomed, and croaked, "Celestia?"
Celestia's head turned toward the voice, eyelids cracking open. Her face was gaunt, eyes red and raw, pupils dead.
She blinked slowly, and her eyes drifted into focus. Then they widened, and she lifted her head, sending dust eddying from the floor.
"Clover?" she whispered through a scratchy throat.
He staggered forward. "I'm here," he said, the moment too big for clever words.
Celestia lunged at him with startling speed, given her appearance. He let out a weak little rattle as she squeezed fractured ribs, and tried not to twitch in pain as she bawled into his shoulder, and waited until the oxygen-deprivation spots began to appear around the edge of his vision before he started smacking her side in their age-old "please ease off the hug" signal.
"I'm sorry," she sobbed the whole while, and Clover finally managed to gently shush her.
Their clinging forms soon sunk to the ground in the crater. It was intensely, supremely uncomfortable — lumpy where it wasn't jagged, and curving at an angle that pressed on all the wrong parts of his spine. Celestia's body was gaunt, hard-edged in all the wrong places, and smelled like a year of bad dirt.
None of that mattered.
Celestia sobbed until her tears were spent, and Clover simply held her — which felt more important than any words they could possibly have exchanged. Gradually, her sobs faded, and her breathing slowed. Silent minutes later, Clover glanced up to see her eyes closed and her mouth half-open. Her chest still occasionally hitched as it slowly rose and fell, but the anguish suffusing her features had receded.
Finally, he let exhaustion take him, too, drifting to sleep as the sun shifted in the sky and left their crater in shadow.
Sunlight from the hole directly overhead stirred them both back awake hours later. Clover nuzzled into Celestia's chest. She clung to him fiercely, hooves wandering in repeated loops over his barrel. He held her, and waited for her to speak.
"I didn't ruin everything," she finally whispered. "You're really here."
Clover gave her a reassuring squeeze. "You did the right thing," he murmured back. "I'm sorry I had no time to explain."
"You're really here," Celestia repeated. "How?"
The corners of Clover's mouth twitched upward. "A time skip, of course. When Luna was finally distracted for a moment, trying to shield against your rainbow blast."
"But …" Celestia said, opening and closing her mouth. She finally managed: "That's impossible."
"No, just very difficult." Clover chuckled, then winced as the chest motion twitched against something cracked. "Ow. … The leech spell she stuck on me is a standard anti-magic technique. It cripples unicorns by removing their ability to focus through their horn. But a trained caster can still throw ridiculous amounts of energy into a raw magic surge, and direct some tiny fraction of it with pure willpower and colossal inefficiency. I watched you teleport that way once."
"You cast a time skip with a raw magic surge? I couldn't do that!"
Clover's eyebrows shot up. "What? Are you kidding? I was lucky I could muster up enough energy for the briefest burst of telekinesis."
"Telekinesis?" Celestia stared at him uncomprehendingly, then blinked. "What good would — wait, your necklace?" Celestia lifted a hoof in the direction of the shattered bits of gold scattered across the floor. "But I watched Luna destroy it."
Clover fumbled with his cloak, undoing the catches and revealing a circular golden necklace with an inset triangle. The real one — not the duplicate Aketi had once made.
"It turns out," he said with a grin, "I used to know a jeweler."
Celestia stared down at the necklace in disbelief.
Then a smile began to spread across her muzzle, and she wheezed out a laugh — which quickly shifted into a hacking cough, doubling her over and causing Clover to wriggle madly to avoid being bent the wrong way.
"You are a miracle," Celestia whispered once she caught her breath.
Clover beamed and kissed her nose. "Only because I've got the example of a goddess to live up to," he whispered back, and snuggled back into her embrace.
He wasn't expecting Celestia's body to go rigid.
Clover pulled his head back, startled. "Celestia?" he said, his heart squeezing at the sudden terror in her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I —" she said, faltering, and abruptly drew back, sitting up. "I'm sorry. You should go."
"What?" Clover exploded. "For all stars' love, Celestia. Why?"
It would have been hard to argue that the anguish on her muzzle looked worse than when Clover had arrived, but it was certainly a strong contender. "I promised you only the best of me," she whispered, eyes barely holding back tears. "This isn't … I'm not …" Her horn sputtered to life as she trailed off, and the necklace rose from Clover's chest in a shaky golden glow.
Clover yelped and shot a hoof through the amulet's chain, yanking outward as hard as he could. With a brief flash of pain at the back of his neck, the clasp snapped. There was a brilliant shower of golden sparks from the ends of the chain, and the necklace shot away and skittered across the floor.
Both of them turned their heads to stare at the amulet. Then back at each other.
Celestia slowly blinked. Then her eyes widened and her cheeks went pale.
"Oh, no, no, no," she said. "I broke it, I broke it, I —"
Realization hit. Clover's eyes widened.
He lunged in, pressing both forehooves to her muzzle. "Celestia."
She whimpered, ears lowering. Clover stared deeply into her eyes, feeling her lower jaw tremble under his hooves. Then he lowered his legs and gave her a gentle smile.
"You silly, silly mare," he said. "Do you think you just did something wrong?"
"What do you mean? I just ruined everything again!" Celestia said, voice rising as panic set back in. "Now you're going to grow old and die! I'll get upset! We'll have bad times and fights! The necklace is what made us work!"
"No, it isn't," Clover said firmly. "We had those anyway. And the amulet isn't our relationship — merely what brought us to this moment." His voice softened. "When the mare who loves me is alone and broken-hearted. Without it, I have the chance to be here when she needs me the most."
Celestia choked back a sob, standing still on trembling legs. Then her face softened in something very much like awe.
Clover leaned in and clamped his forelegs around her withers, clinging as tightly as he could until she let out a shuddering breath and lunged back in to return the hug.
"Do you remember what I said about when love counts?" he whispered. "I love you, Celestia, and there's no time or place I would rather be."
Celestia let out a long breath, clinging tightly to him and shivering, the tension slowly draining from her shoulders.
"Thank you," she whispered back.
Clover gave her a silent squeeze, closing his eyes and feeling her body against his.
A few moments later, Celestia shifted against him. "No, that's not enough," she murmured. "Because I think I finally understand. You were right. Love — real love — means wanting each other every possible minute. For the good times, to share them. And for the bad times, because you would make any sacrifice to make your lover's bad times better." She sniffled, and her body shook in silent laughter. "I can't give you my best right now. I'm as far from my best as I can get. But having you here makes me want to try." Celestia lowered her muzzle and kissed his forehead. "I love you, Clover. I do love you. But I wasn't loving you when it counted. I want to change that. And I'm sorry that took me so long to realize."
Clover felt tears burst through the dams of his eyelids, and he laughed, and raised his head to return her kiss.
Noises stirred Clover back to consciousness as the shadows outside were getting long. The muffled sounds of hoof-fall, and the rattle of shifting pebbles. A pale head popped up from the lower edge of the hole in the wall, then immediately ducked back into cover.
"Y-your Highness?" a feminine voice hesitantly called from outside.
Celestia stirred, too — looking past Clover, then refocusing her eyes on him, as if even now she couldn't believe he was really there. She gave him a brief squeeze, which he smiled and returned.
The touch seemed to stir something within her, and Celestia lifted her head and cleared her throat. "Hey," she called out in a gravelly voice. "I'm sorry about this morning."
There was no sound from outside for several seconds. Then a wide-eyed head slowly rose to stare into the room, its surprise matching Clover's own.
Celestia, too, rose up — a cloud of dust puffing up around her as she pushed herself upright from the crater and shook out her wings. "You're here for me to lower the sun and raise the moon, right? Even though you thought I was going to kill you last time." She glanced back at Clover. "There must be a pony you really love to make a sacrifice that big."
Silver scrambled up to the rim of the hole, then dropped into a low, trembling bow. Her mane had been cut short and uneven in a crude attempt to compensate for the chunk of hair shorn off by the warhammer shaft. "I-it's for all of Equestria, Your Highness. I drew the lot, and without day and night, there's far more than my life at stake."
Celestia winced at the honorific — and was silent for a moment in thought — but her muzzle ultimately curled into an unsteady smile. "Uh, good! Don't sell yourself short. Being willing to sacrifice yourself for ponykind is the sort of heroism I hear stories about. Equestria needs more ponies like you."
Silver was briefly silent. Then she risked a glance up. Her eyes met Clover's for a moment, and confusion registered, but she quickly turned her gaze back to Celestia. "… Thank you, my Queen?"
This time, Celestia's ears flattened. "No," she said softly. "Not your Queen. Never again Queen. I got so caught up in being on top of the world that I didn't realize how badly I was rutting everything up. And until a few hours ago I —" her voice hitched — "I … was scared I'd ruin the whole world the same way I ruined everything I ever cared for. I'm sorry."
Silver considered for a moment, opened her mouth to speak, then hesitated. Instead, she bowed her head again.
Celestia's horn blazed at full intensity for a moment. The shadows outside lengthened, then spread as the sun dipped below the horizon, then lightened fractionally as a dull, darkened moon rose. Celestia's horn stayed lit, and soon, the throne room's magelights stuttered to damaged, flickering life.
Then she stepped forward to Silver. "Whoever sent you here," Celestia said, "tell them there's no need to draw lots tomorrow. I'll raise the sun." She fidgeted as Silver gasped, then glanced back at Clover to smile gamely. "I've never done well with the bad times, but it's time I started trying."
"That's," Silver stammered. "I-I can't tell you how much that will mean to us all. Thank you, Your Highness."
"Celestia."
"… Celestia." Silver angled her head even further down, and took a step back toward the hole — but paused, then made no further move to leave.
Celestia stared back uncertainly, then frowned. "Is something wrong?"
"Not … with what you just said, no." Silver swallowed, then shakily stood. "I'm so sorry, Your… Celestia. This is rude beyond belief. But you said I was a hero because I asked you for help when the world was at stake. And … I think that means I need to do it again."
Celestia's eyebrows raised. "What do you mean?"
"You already do more for us than we have any right to ask for. You saved us from the Im— the Nightmare — and you move the sun and moon." Silver's ears swiveled back. "But there are monsters in the forests, and raiders on the borders, and nobles and warlords fighting each other for the scraps in between. To be blunt, Your Highness, Equestria needs more than sunlight. We need you back. Now more than ever."
Celestia looked away for a long while. Then she glanced out at the shadow-darkened moon.
"Not back," she finally murmured, lowering her head. "You deserve better than that." She drew in a deep breath, then let it out again and straightened up. "But … a wise pony just taught me that the most important thing is being there for the bad times. And it looks like I'm not the only one who spent the last year convinced everything was ruined forever." She let out a pained laugh. "After everything I've done, I owe it to you to fix what I can."
Silver's eyes filled with tears. Her jaw started quivering. Then, suddenly, she lunged in for a hug, clinging to Celestia. "Thank you," she sobbed, over and over. "Thank you."
Celestia lifted a hoof to awkwardly pat her withers, giving Clover a wry smile, then said, "Go let the others know. I'll fly out tomorrow morning. We'll talk."
Clover watched Silver gallop away, then walked up to Celestia and leaned his head to her shoulder.
"I'm proud of you," he said. "And you really should think about what she said. If the world's that bad off, Equestria will need a leader."
"No," Celestia said firmly. "All this happened because I was Queen."
"Celestia, I know what I just heard," Clover said gently, "and I promise you, in my professional opinion as a royal advisor, that they're never going to find a better ruler than a pony who wants to listen and fix things."
She stared into his eyes. Clover smiled.
Celestia nuzzled his cheek. "I'll think about it," she said softly.
"Princess," the pegasus said with a crisp salute, "I bring word from General Firefly. The Western Protectorates recognize your rightful rule, unconditionally cease hostilities against the Everfree Fiefdoms, and pledge allegiance to a reunified Equestria." He bowed low. "Welcome back, Your Highness."
Clover smirked. "Told you."
Celestia stuck her tongue out at him, then nodded to the messenger. "Tell him we'll be looking forward to his visit here to Canter Peak. We —" She hesitated for a moment, then clarified. "That's the 'all of us' we, not the royal we. This time, everypony's going to sit down from the start and figure out how to work together again. 'Cause I already lived through one Unification, and this time, we're gonna skip the part where the big problems don't get brought up until a generation later."
Celestia watched the messenger spin and leap off the cliff, tracking his form as he flapped past the teams of mages and weatherponies who were still — four weeks after their arrival — working in round-the-clock shifts to tame Canter Peak's skies. Only after he vanished into the storms did she let out a breath, yanking the tiara from her head and rubbing her eyes with a hoof.
"Gah, telling ponies how to fix things is so tiring," she muttered. "I'm supposed to be out there doing the bucking."
"Save that impatience for King Guto," Clover said. "The way talks are going, you're likely going to have to beat some sense into him. And when you leave to lead the army, we don't want the clouds rolling back in and undoing all our work. The more experience these ponies get by then, the less effort we waste."
"I know," Celestia grumbled. "It's just … nnnngh!" Clover's world suddenly shaded gold, and he hurtled through the air alongside Celestia as she trotted toward the storage building that had once been the only structure on the mountain. "Busy for a bit! Princess time!" she shouted as she yanked Clover inside, slamming the door.
Celestia's form was decidedly less tense as they snuggled together afterward, Clover noted. But she was still staring out into space in a way he wasn't certain any distraction could erase.
"What's on your mind, lover?" he murmured, nuzzling her shoulder.
"Mmm?" she grunted, her eyes refocusing. Then she sighed and laid back, sprawling out on the straw mattress they'd set up for old times' sake.
"Luna," Celestia said. "Fixing things was always her job. I just … you think you get used to seeing shadows on the moon, and you think you get used to a world without her, and then a reminder of her still blindsides you, you know?" She let out a much longer, deeper sigh. "I failed her most of all."
"So did I." Clover sighed too. "I keep thinking, if I had talked to you about the prophecy earlier, or tried harder to make up with her …"
"If I had listened." Celestia's voice was quiet. "If I hadn't taken her for granted. If I'd put more effort into making her equal to me, instead of a substitute me. There are so many signs I should have seen over the past few decades."
Clover gently stroked her side. "I wasn't there for that. What happened?"
"A lot." Celestia looked away. "I'll … tell you later, okay?"
"Alright," Clover said. "And when you do, I'll tell you about the wonderful beings who helped me get less broken after I failed Pansy. And we'll figure out if there's anything we can do to fix this — and if not, how we can learn from our mistakes."
They held each other in silence.
"I'm sorry," Celestia finally said. "I've got the entire rest of my life to have regrets in. I shouldn't be wasting your time with them."
Clover gave Celestia a kiss on the base of her perfect alabaster throat, running a hoof through the otherworldly aurora of her mane.
"We'll always have regrets," Clover murmured. "Regrets are part of life. But we'll still have time enough for love."
A few weeks later, Clover was directing the team of ponies hanging tapestries in the newly finished Canterlot throne room when an ear-shattering boom split the air. Two tons of iron-plated wooden door sailed out from the doorway, bouncing across the marble floor and coming to rest against the steps of the broad throne dais.
Every pony in the Great Hall froze statue-still, then swiveled their heads toward the projectile's source. Clover sighed and turned around, a gentle smile plastered on his muzzle.
"My name," a deep baritone voice thundered, "is Prince Gruntwig of the Great Yak Kingdoms! I have laid low eight gryphons with a single blow, wrestled the Arimaspi until he cried, and evicted the Lord of the Frostdrakes from his cave!" Gruntwig's gaze swiveled around the room, then fixed in on Clover, and a burly hoof shot forward. "You! Stories have reached yak lands of the tiny little pony who won a drinking contest for the sun! Now the mightiest of the yaks challenges you, to see if you can keep it!"
Chaos erupted as Gruntwig stomped the floor for emphasis, tossing back the braids of his shaggy brown mane and swaggering into the room. Earth pony, pegasus, and unicorn alike all screamed and galloped for the nearest exit — except for Clover, and one small white figure with faded stripes.
Silver galloped up to Clover and poked his shoulder. "Get the Princess?" she whispered.
Clover smirked. "Oh, yes, get the Princess," he murmured back as Gruntwig strode up. "She wouldn't miss this for the world."
Then he dipped his head to the yak in a casual bow. "A drinking contest, eh?" he said. "You've certainly caught my interest. But what makes you think you have a chance against me?"
Gruntwig's blunt face contorted with pride. "Look at the frail little pony!" he bellowed. "This yak has endurance to make the stars themselves tremble! He can drink four hundred tankards and still stand up from the table!"
Clover lifted his eyebrows. "Four hundred! That's certainly worth bragging about. For, you know." He waved a dismissive hoof. "Normal beings."
Gruntwig's eyes widened. His nostrils flared. "Bring us tables!" he shouted. "Bring us tankards and your weak thaw-lands drinks! We will see if the little pony can live up to his boasts!"
Clover straightened up. "What kind of weakling do you take me for!" he shot back, putting his hoof to his chest in mock outrage. "I'll drink you and your ancestors under the table! Just as soon as … well, you know." He gave Gruntwig an apologetic shrug. "Surely, you're aware that a competitor at my level can't take challenges from just anyone. First, there's a tiny formality. A simple test to make sure you're worthy."
"Ha!" Gruntwig bellowed. "A yak fears no mere test!"
"Marvelous!" Clover said, gesturing toward the doorway — where Princess Celestia had just galloped in, wings flared, Mister Smashy at the ready. "It's simple. Merely outdrink the mare who lost to me."
Celestia blinked.
Then her eyes lit up, and the peal of her laughter echoed throughout the castle.
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Well (he says after about 12 straight hours of managing last chapter's comment explosion and 12 straight hours of frantic micro-edits), here's hoping the epilogue wrapped things up satisfactorily.
What a ride. Thank you for joining me on it!
About eight hours from now, I (and my precious, precious kneecaps) will begin my journey to the final Bronycon. Check my blog or click here for details.
Among other exciting Bronycon happenings, I'll be releasing my first printed book there! Titled "Songs of the Sisters", it has 150,000 words of tales about Celestia, Luna and the ponies who love them. Time Enough For Love is one of the book's two centerpiece stories. It will be available at the Golden Oaks Bookstore throughout the con, and if you're not attending, there will also be a chance to acquire it later (or get a free e-book) through Ponyfeather Publishing. I'll post a blog once those orders are ready to open.
Between this and Administrative Angel, I'm absolutely going to be buying a copy of Songs of the Sisters, no question. I've really enjoyed this version of Clover and Celestia, and the story, and the message and themes, and just everything about this fic has been positively captivating. I very much look forward to reading a physical copy of this fic.
Oh, indeed, this was a fantastic read. The ending did feel a bit abrupt, but I'm not certain there's anything that needs to be done for that; I suspect it's strictly a personal problem.
Aww yeah last chapter uploaded just as I woke up and finished the second to last. You've done some good writes, as while I was bored and left longing after reading single chapter updates, I'd read your other stories to fill the void.
You actually worked in the title. You son of a...
In any case, this was definitely worth the wait. Magnificent work from start to finish. Thank you for finally bringing the story to its full potential, and for taking the time to make sure that you did.
And this is why it's nice to be an immortal. Wisdom comes from learning from your mistakes. With an infinite amount of time, you can become very, very wise.
This was wonderful, thank you.
This final chapter was beautiful. Clover outclevered us all.
And that last callback to the very beginning was a particularly nice touch.
Thanks for sharing this all with us.
9757835
Every time someone mentions AA, I feel obligated to point out: Songs of the Sisters contains its NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN sequel, Devil May Care! Book patrons get a head start, since it won't be published to FIMFiction until September!
I'm sorry, but I don't buy this abrupt turnaround of Celestia's. She's had very little to no growth over the course of the story, and then to get a mess of it dumped in the last chapter is jarring, to say the least. It's hard to see this as significantly different from the first few times he flipped after they fought. Well, there is one difference: Clover wasn't gone through any fault of Celestia's, but of Luna's.
For all this fic's themes about how love is more than romance, what separated Celestia and Clover the last time had nothing to do with the messed-up way their relationship was working out and everything to do with outside forces. Luna became Nightmare Moon and tried to remove Clover from the equation to keep him from breaking Celestia's heart not because their relationship was going to fall apart because it's unhealthy, but because of a prophecy. Even if Celestia's and Clover's romance had been healthy and well-adjusted, it's not impossible that Luna would've tried to do away with him anyway because of the prophecy. Clover was gone because of Luna, not because their relationship was unsustainable. And as a narcissist with an easy scapegoat, the first thing Celestia would've done would be to shift blame: "Well, it's not my fault Clover saw me like that. Luna forced my hoof. She was jealous. Why else would she take him from me?"
It still could've worked if the Nightmare Moon incident had simply been the final point in an extended character arc of self-discovery. But Celestia at the beginning of the story is the same as Celestia at Clover's post-Discord return half a millennium later: dismissive of everypony except herself, unempathetic, high on her own existence. One bad moment will not change that, especially not when she has somepony to blame for her problems. But if her and Clover had spent time between flips talking some of their problems out, if Celestia had grown more appreciative for what Clover was doing for her, if she'd become even a smidgen more understanding before the climax, maybe I could buy it. But as it stands, a huge swathe of offscreen character development hinges on one single event that Celestia's flaws had no part in.
The overall story works, even if it has a tendency to speed through some things (Couldn't we have gotten that brief scene where Clover shows Celestia the waterfall at the end of the honeymoon? What about a scene with Clover's ageing friends during the flipping montage to show how they're handling it?), and the very ending scenes, where Celestia's grown a bit and is strengthening Equestria, are good. But Celestia's character development feels like, rather than going from A to B to C to D to E over the course of the story, she stays at A until the very end and then just teleports to E.
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I kind of have to agree with you there. I expected .. maybe two or three more chapters. Maybe it got rushed due to the upcoming con? It was fun, sure, but I honestly felt like Celestia LEGITIMATELY needed a SERIOUS slap to the face, with a reality check. Hell, Clover could've just, being clever, spun Celestia's original thinking on her head or back at her. "If you can have a harem, why can't I? Or why can't I just do whatever and you have to come and get me? or something. I dunno. Feels like there's ... three or four missing chapters in the story itself, and one or two right before the end.
9757830
Did we really cause you twelve hours worth of work?
Arghlblarghbl I was writing up a response and then accidentally deleted the thing. Frrrom the top:
Title drop!
This was a great story, aside from the quibble I brought up in my previous post. Within its own context the worldbuilding was excellent, especially during the world tour arc, but even aside from that all the little things like the court language used was great. I liked Clover, idiot that he could be at times; it was easy to see what Celestia and Pansy saw in him, even if Pansy’s ultimate end was a tragic one. It wouldn’t be a proper myth without tragedy.
Speaking of, I do love me some physical gods (growing up watching Hercules and Xena and all that), and you did a good job with Celestia in that regard as well. I like how even at the start of this fic we could see little flashes of her canon personality (notably in her playfulness), and how that gradually grew over time here and there. We never quite get to the Celestia we know and love, but we’ve still got about a thousand years or so before the show, so that makes sense. As you well know, continuity of character is very important to me as both a reader and a writer, and there was never a point when reading this where I was like “given the context, I can’t see Celestia doing this.”
With the exception of the quibble vis-a-vis Celestia and Luna fighting over a guy, which does unfortunately hurt the fic just a bit — but only a bit, and I’m still going to recommend this fic to friends. I don’t regret the time I spent reading this.
All in all, great job!
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I can see the complaint about the ending feeling abrupt. One of the frustrations of time-skip/time-tweaking stories is that you have to lean pretty heavily sometimes on things you can't directly show, only show the effects of.
I will suggest that this "single moment" you found underwhelming was the reality check you're talking about. There are two constants in Celestia's immortal life: Luna and Clover. At a single stroke, she lost both, and at the start of this chapter she has now spent an entire year marinating in that loss, completely unmoored from any sense of stability.
I did my best to show her reaction at Luna's betrayal as legitimate shock. Desperate bargaining. As I've argued in previous comments, Celestia isn't a narcissist; she is capable of feeling empathy and guilt. She just acted like a narcissist because she literally was the center of her world; Luna was an enabler, right up until she wasn't, and Clover wasn't around to be a moderating influence on that.
If Celestia had felt anyone but herself was to blame for the complete collapse of her world, this story would have been very different.
Edited to add:
Yeah, however, I think I do agree that Clover's decision to forgive her is underplayed. I think the story as written supports that he's willing to — especially after seeing her sacrifice everything to do the right thing, and seeing how the following year tore her up — but in hindsight it could definitely have used some more meat on those bones.
I didn't run out of deadline time because of Bronycon. The story was finished a month ago. But I did hit a point where it came down to, either I keep working on this forever, or I accept it and publish.
Dat title drop.
Magnificent work. Twelve thumbs up.
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My insecurities did, plus the fact that a number of commenters (not just the one huge thread you're thinking of) were expressing reservations about Celestia's behavior. I wanted to tighten the screws of the existing structure in this chapter about Celestia finally learning from her mistakes, and walk back some places where she came across as more callous than I intended.
On the goodbad side, if you're curious what changes I made, the book at Bronycon will have the non-tweaked version.
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For the record, I don’t personally get the impression of Nightmare Moon being the result of a “final straw”. It really does feel like it all leads back to Clover, directly or indirectly, especially in the way that Luna painted herself as trying to create a perfect world for Celestia (to help her move past Clover and to try and get Celeatia’s love for her back), and in how much she ranted at and about Clover during the battle. Yes, Luna is throwing herself at other work as well, she was the Imperatrix now, but even that seemed to be a result of Clover.
Like I said, as an MLP fic I think that the story suffers a bit for it, taking arguably the most important background element of the show, the fight between Celestia and Nightmare Moon in ages past, and making it center on a stallion. Or at least that’s the impression I got.
But, divorced from the context of MLP and as a plot point in its own right, it’s fine. You spent a lot of chapters and time establishing how and why their fight would center on Clover, so it doesn’t feel wrong that it should in this story itself, just within the larger context of MLP as such a strong feminist show.
I don’t usually rate stories numerically, but for the sake of argument as an MLP fic I’d rate this as around a 7/10, while as a story in and of itself, a 8/10. So enjoyable either way, you just have to be able to do some mental gymnastics of divorcing the story from the very thing it’s a fic about to maximize your enjoyment. Or I have to, anyway.
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I’ll be picking up a copy, then! I’m sure the pre-edits version is fine, and even if it’s not quite as good we can just pretend I bought this version, which is worth paying for.
The cover art and description had me set for a zany thrill ride, but things got complicated (as love tends to) in all the best possible ways. Wonderful work
Thoroughly satisfying!
I have some still-evolving thoughts about Clover and Celestia's relationship, but after witnessing the [REDACTED] comment storm from last chapter, I will keep them to myself and instead savor them as a "finish" to a great story.
I'll be ordering a copy of the book when it's available online!
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>sad publisher noises
Well, that was nice but also really short. I mean, after five or six chapters of constant heart break we only get one chapter to wrap it all up? That's pretty rough, man. It'd be nice to get an epilogue, or anything really. I get that Celestia has supposedly learned her lesson but it would've been better to actually see that in action rather than just hear her say it.
Also, this story really needs a Sad tag.
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Thanks for speaking up!
The chapter you just read was originally called the epilogue. No immediate plans to add to it, but I guess the retitling has left me the room!
I thought that because the story ends with them getting back together, and there's not a sad to be found in the entire front half, the tags are fine as they are, but I'm willing to yield to the crowd on this one.
QUICK READER POLL:
VOTE UP IF add a Sad tag.
VOTE DOWN IF no Sad tag.
I enjoyed this, thanks for the story!
Goodness, this was quite the ride - and quite the ending!
Also, I sort of feel bad for the Yak Prince.9758309
Sad?
Maybe this was living up to a form of the 'Earn Your Happy Ending' trope, but the story is by no means sad.
Kind of crazy, kind of tense, kind of hard to take at times, but it is far from sad. Those moments, large as they might seem, were not the core of the story that gets you cheering on two idiots that are trying to figure out how to love each other properly.
This was an adventure, which almost demands painful struggles in the middle, which were obvious growing pains the whole time.
This was not a sad story at all.
Needs a DRAMA tag.
9758309
I'd say no. The story has sad parts to it, but it's not an intrinsically sad story.
Wow! I just read through your whole story and I gotta say that it was a FANTASTIC ride! Very interesting take on the immortal Celestia, and how she grew from what she was (and still is).
I loved it all.
In regards to everyone else's comments, I would agree that this is not a sad story but a drama because life is full of ups and downs and if things end up working out in the end for the better? Then it's a happy story indeed.
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Both are to blame for that, though. Look back at the times when Celestia insisted he flip through time.
The ultimate point is that they were both pretty horrible to each other (and to others as well), and it's only through a series of external tragedies that both of them got to a place where they could figure out how to stop being horrible; the entire arc of their growth as individuals is all about learning to overcome tragedy and hardship. The fact that they managed to work it out in the end is the only reason this story isn't tagged as tragedy.
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Oh, for sure. I did not mean to say Celestia was blameless. She made herself a liar whenever she told him to flip because that meant not taking on the challenge of working through their problems, that just kicked it down the road. I was more baffled by how nobody seemed to think Clover's taking Celestia for granted was a problem... because he kinda was, and it definitely was. Heck, from Celestia's perspective, she kept trying to be become more and more what she thought he wanted, and every time he comes back he's getting more pissed and leaves early. No wonder she's tired and frustrated, eh?
9757971
The pre-edit version is fine, except for the typo in Chapter Five where all of Celestia's lines are just "butts". I'm not sure how that one got past the prereaders.
This story has caused a lot of drama in the comments, that’s for sure, but, I for one, really enjoyed it.
Also, um . . .
I suppose no one will believe me if I said this was the exact same reason I came up with to explain why Celestia calls herself “Princess” instead of “Queen”, before I ever knew this story existed?
This has been a sad and awesome ride.
Oh this was an absolute delight. Thank you so much!
9758971
... I don't believe you. You're trying to trick us.
Huh. This ended a lot better than I thought I would. I was expecting Star Swirl to turn out to be an older Clover all along, having set everything up via time travel to maintain the loop and ensure the right future would come about. And Celestia never saw Clover again.
9759378
You're just going to have to buy the book and find out!
Ah, that ending!
There's nothing like some good levity to punctuate an upbeat ending. And I definitely wasn't expecting it to play out like that, so the final lines hit me with their full, Mister Smashy-esque force!
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Yeah, I could see that a bit stronger emphasis and reaction on his part to the situation could really bring it back around. Like, how he could never abandon her when she clearly needs him the most. Probably a bit more love will overcome this low, and some such.
But I didn't even think about any of that until I saw the comment section, so also don't kill yourself trying to make everything perfect. You already said something to that effect? Good man!
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I'll believe you, though does that mean I get a cookie?
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*Tosses you a cookie!* Here ya go!
9758971
wait, that’s supposed to be there. who took it out...?
STAAAAR SWIRRRRRRL!!!!
After reading this and stewing on the comments for a while, I feel like not only do Clover and Celestia not have a good definition of love, they don't have a good definition of 'sacrifice' either. The sacrifices they talk about - primarily Clover talking about giving up his other potential relationships in order to time skip with Celestia - only qualifies in the strictest sense, but it isn't how any of us would normally use the term. You don't say that you sacrificed a life as a farmer to work instead as a doctor - you'd call it a trade-off, or an opportunity cost, or a road not traveled. A sacrifice would be said doctor using his skills to treat impoverished patients at no (or little) benefit to himself besides the feeling that he's doing 'good' in the world. It isn't a sacrifice to go out with the pony that literally every single stallion in not only Equestria but the entire world has the hots for. Pansy sacrificed, certainly, but then again she and Smart Cookie seem to be the only ponies with reasonable definitions of the two words.
I thought Celestia's about face when dealing with Nightmare Moon, and later Clover, was far too abrupt and showed no signs that it should have occurred, but I suppose if she's going to hit rock bottom then losing the two closest to her would qualify. It felt like there should have been more instances of Celestia regretting not being able to talk things out with him. We only get the one instance in Chapter 12 of him calling her out on saying something and regretting it. But, since it's all from Clover's limited perspective, maybe that's difficult to convey.
On a different topic, I thought it strange, not because Celestia got a second stallion to be intimate with, but that she didn't do it sooner. She's spent her entire life living hedonistically, and treated sex as just another arena that she could best ponies in. Her promise to Clover was to be there for him when he's there, but as another commentator said, what about the other fifty weeks of the year? Especially after he disappears without a trace for an entire year? I would have thought he died to some wild animal, or got in a back-alley fight with an opponent who didn't bother to let him 'clever' his way out like the other three opponents are shown doing. Then, later, Thunderburst is a pony she managed to hang on to for fourteen months, plus however long they kept the on-again-off-again thing going? That'd have been the perfect spot to show some character development, that she has some ability to discuss problematic things without going over the top. But, then again, her relationship with Clover consists of him needling her and challenging her to ridiculous dares. And sex. Meaningless, unfulfilling sex.
Minor nitpicks - in Chapter Ten, Celestia says that 'for the first time in four hundred and twenty two years' - unless their time jumps skipped a lot of decades, more so than the two or three Queens they show them going through, this number was figured after the three hundred year time skip that happens with Discord. Second, the ponies address Celestia as 'your Highness' when they should be using 'your Majesty' - the first is for Princesses, the second is for Queens; it would make a more noticeable shift in dialogue when she asks the maid to title her Princess.
TLDR; I thought it was a fairly enjoyable ride with characters who really needed a better role model and 'parent' than Star Swirl.
9759799
nom nom nom, bribery it works every time. nom nom nom
9761050
Thanks for the comments!
Re sacrifice -- if you agreed to move to a foreign country for your lover, would you say that you sacrificed for your relationship? Clover basically did that, with the added cost that whether or not it worked out, he could never go home again. It's not just him giving up a potential relationship. He gave up his life.
Celestia never really sacrificed anything, no, and that's what leads to her downfall.
Re Celestia's intimacy, as Clover says, it's not the first time she was out sleeping around, but it was the first time it mattered.
Re timeline: There was ~60 years before Pansy's death, then some number of years during which things worked between them, then a single huge skip of 83. If Clover spent an average of a week with Celestia in each skip, then three hundred years or so for that middle period would still be less than five subjective years of his life.
Re titles: Thanks, I'll do some research to double-check and see about ninja-editing that in.
With you there.
Regardless, glad it didn't waste your time!
Huh, now this clearly hasn't been a thousand years.
Ahh, how clever.
Welp, that's it for the time skips. Good thing this is the moment that Clover needed to skip ahead to.
Brave little mare, and she's not wrong.
Interesting how shattered things got after just one year.
There it is!
Hah!
Great ending to a great story.
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Re: Sacrifice - Only in the strictest sense of the word, that you're giving something up. I'm struggling to figure out why, exactly. I think the best way to put it is that you don't 'sacrifice' like for like. In other words, it's a sacrifice to jump on a grenade because it trades my life for your life. It isn't a sacrifice to make a risky investment, or a gamble. It isn't a sacrifice to forgo a relationship with A for one with B.
I think the immigration comparison is particularly apt, but I see that as more of a gamble: you are trading a 'sure' thing (however good your current life is) for a chance at a better life. And I think most ponies would agree that a life with Celestia ranks pretty darn high on the list of possible lives. And then, if things don't work out, he doesn't lose his life (okay, Celestia or Luna might decide differently). He just has to start over, which the fic shows him really struggling with.
Maybe it's just a quibble about definition, as Clover certainly believes that he's given up a lot, and he undeniably has. It's just that he's gained a lot in compensation for that loss.
Re: Intimacy / mattered - That makes sense, that this is the first time that Celestia has missed their 'reunion' and it supremely pisses his off. I still think he jumps to that conclusion too quickly, but alas. He's cle-
Re: Timeline - Yeah, time certainly flew by. The four hundred number just seemed jarringly high.
kinda feels to me that it ended prematurely, it feel like celestia is only now just starting to change for the better, the beginning of a character arc not the end, i feel like the story should go on show glimpse from the years they spend together normally as she slowly becomes the celestia from the show as clover slowly ages with death coming closer and closer with it ending with clovers death and the fulfillment of the prophecy then but also setting the stage for celestia to get Luna back.
on a side note for a while i was actually convinced that clover was actually starswirl for a while that the encounter with nightmare moon set clover in the past and he set all event in motion, but nah still i enjoyed the story it was a good read
I was not disappointed about this. This story is one of the best that I have read in a few years. It's short compared to a few, but packs just enough into it to be satisfying.
I'd also like to point out more of a side note; I always struggled with making a truly "clever" character and this story is the BEST example/template to look at in my opinion.
Love your story, hate to see it end, but I am satisfied with it. Definitely becoming one of my favorites.
I am not one to beg for sequels when a story is so neatly wrapped up. I will say though for once, this is a story that deserves a squeal following the remainder of their days together.
Either way this story was one of the best bits of fiction I have read in quite some time.
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Thank you for the kind words!
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My next writing project is definitely gonna be getting back to finishing Hard Reset 2, and I'm not sure how much fandom writing energy I'm gonna have left once that wraps up. That said, I'm not ruling a sequel out! These are fun characters close to my heart.