6. Formal Dining
Sweetie Belle - Hogwarts Exchange Student
Formal Dining
The Crystal Empire was not only brilliant above ground, but Theodore was beginning to think the sunlight reflected into even the deepest of tunnels. During their trip to meet Theodore’s new instructor, ‘New Leaf’ had led him down through the castle corridors with enough wrong turns to make Theodore slightly more comfortable treating the unicorn as a fellow student and a little less concerned that he was being led into an ambush. Theodore had cast a quick tracking charm before they left his new quarters, so he would be able to find his way back out of even the most twisted of mazes, but Leaf was obviously spooked in the crystalline tunnels, and that case of the fidgets was rubbing off.
“So, why do you think Granite is down here?” he asked as the two of them squeezed past another ‘Tunnel Closed - Unsafe’ sign. The clicks of their combined hoof/footfalls echoed around the cold, hard walls as if there were a dozen or more in their small group, which eventually made Theodore draw his wand and hold it casually while they walked.
“Granite and his team cleared out a few of his… ‘laboratories’ over the last year,” started Leaf with considerable reluctance and many hollow echoes from the corridor walls. “This is supposedly the biggest one, since it is just outside the castle perimeter, and there’s only one tunnel into it. We’re passing through the remains of the outer wards they burned in order to access the area now.”
The unicorn stopped at a smudged wall and lit up his horn, scanning the light across the translucent crystal until a series of blackened runes floated into sight a few inches below their surfaces.
“Luminous Maxima.” The beam of light from Theodore’s wand was much brighter, and swept down the corridor like a searchlight, showing charred and burnt runes every few paces as they continued to walk in relative silence. After several turns, they saw a pool of silvery hornlight far ahead, surrounding a stocky unicorn who could have been mistaken for a lump of grey granite topped with snow if not for the fierce frown on his face when he looked back up the corridor.
“Oh, it’s the nameless coward,” grumbled Granite in a gravelly voice that closely resembled his appearance. “And you brought Celestia’s monkey.”
“Theodore Nott,” said Theodore with a short nod. “And this is New Leaf, now. I presume you are Mister… I mean Granite Peaks?”
“Yeah.” The heavyset unicorn turned his back on Theodore and looked down the corridor again. “So, you got any kind of magic that’ll get my crew back so I don’t have to struggle along with you two losers?”
“Beg pardon?” said Theodore, but the heavy unicorn did not say anything else while staring down the empty corridor.
New Leaf coughed quietly, which echoed like a hospital asthmatic ward around them. “Two months ago, the primary cleaning crew headed down this corridor. When they did not check in on time, the secondary crew went in to find out what happened. Neither crew has been seen since. Thirty-two unicorns and griffons vanished without a trace.”
Theodore took a step backwards while observing the corridor with newfound respect.
“You’re the genius that Celestia said’d be able to fix this,” said Granite in a rough whisper. “What would you do that we haven’t?”
“Flood this corridor with lava and drill into whatever chamber you’re trying to access from another side,” said Theodore automatically.
“Nearly lost two drilling crews trying that,” said Granite. “And we ain’t flooding this chamber with nothing until we know if my crew’s alive or dead. Watch.”
The silver light coming from the older unicorn’s horn shifted into a darker green hue while Granite struggled, bending his head down and breathing in short pants. In moments, the view of the corridor shifted in much the same way, becoming dark and greenish along the whole length.
And something else.
Vague shapes danced and drifted in the darkness, with hooves and horns and wings and beaks, swirling around as if they were mere tissue paper in a stiff breeze. They darted through walls and across the open space regardless of the impossibility, a chorus and ballet of shadow that tugged at his heartstrings while standing flat-footed in the indistinct crystal corridors. The sight was both enticing and terrifying, and for just a tiny fraction of a second, Theodore felt himself being pulled forward into that spectral nothingness.
Then New Leaf bit him on the arm and pulled back, shaking Theodore out of his trance. The sickening green glow spluttered away from Granite’s horn and for a moment, the only source of light was the dim glow of distant daylight coming from behind him, or at least until Theodore lit his wand again and held it over the three of them.
“Well?” asked Granite once they had all caught their collective breaths. “I’m at the end of my wits here, so I’m even willing to listen to monkeys.”
“I… think this will require considerably more research,” said Theodore. “I’ll need to look at all of your reports, check out the wards and traps you’ve already discovered and disarmed, and—” he took a deep breath, tasting the dusty air with the faintest hint of a different scent wafting in his direction “—until then, seal the corridor without flooding it, so we can come back more prepared.”
A series of his wand motions conjured an opaque crystal wall across the corridor, cutting off the faint breeze and allowing Theodore to head out of the corridor maze without feeling as if something dark and scabrous was creeping up behind him.
Granite let out a low grunt, but fell into step beside the lanky human while they headed back upstairs. “You know, you’re not as dumb as I thought. That was pretty fair spellwork. Well, I’ve done all I can, so it’s your call now. What were you planning on doing first?”
“Dinner, because we’ve been invited by the rulers of this land,” said Theodore. “And some thinking time afterward.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to get the work crews out? Do you think they’re still alive?” New Leaf strode next to Theodore's other side, much like he was sheltering under a tall tree while a storm blew in.
The Slytherin in him was tempted to lie and offer candied assurances, but Theodore focused on his empty stomach and shook his head while walking. “We’ll see.”
In hindsight, Theodore Nott would have much rather faced a whole series of N.E.W.T. testing at Hogwarts under the tutelage of Lord Voldemort.
- - Ω - -
Sweetie Belle was starting to really like the human world, particularly the food. Humans ate many of the things ponies ate, but they also ate the most amazing things like rumbledethumps, spotted dick, blood pudding, and sandwiches made with prawns and mayo. Dinner had all of those things and more, with sugary crumbles and turnovers piled high on plates, and all sorts of vegetables smothered under brown gravy until she could not eat another bite.
And the chicken… Well, she was not going to mention this particular aspect of human life to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo in her diary entries, or to Fluttershy when she eventually went home. Chicken was delicious.
There was only one thing that bothered her about the meal, and that was how Miss Selkirk acted. Oh, dinner was great fun with all of the witches and wizards… well, the witches at least willing to show little tricks with their wands for the enthusiastic young student. Mister Dunham quietly ate his porridge without comment, and after pocketing a dinner roll for later, retired to his room for the night, while Mister Weasley had that same nervous smile and facial twitch that Miss Cheerilee, her teacher back in Ponyville got whenever she took her school class on a trip to somewhere with lots of expensive breakables.
The thing was, they all used their wands with much the same casual frequency as an adult unicorn used their magic. All except for Miss Selkirk, who was always bustling around somewhere in the background. Professor McGonagall seemed to notice it too, and took every action to accommodate the middle-aged woman until a card game called Exploding Snap got started, and the professor made her apologies before departing for the evening.
“I’m feeling a little tired too,” said Sweetie with a yawn. “Miss Selkirk, can you show me how to work the bedcovers?”
As excuses went, it was pretty feeble, but the middle-aged witch smiled and took Sweetie upstairs to the storage room they had searched for clothes earlier. They dug a new piece of clothes called a ‘nightshirt’ out of a chest, struggled to figure out which holes got which limbs, and went back to Sweetie’s room to make the bed, but the expression of subdued sorrow on the older witch’s face grew deeper between every giggle. Finally, once Sweetie Belle was sitting in her new bed, she reached up, wrapped her arms around Miss Selkirk, and just held her.
Even though Applejack had told her once that apples were the most honest things about ponies, Pinkie Pie had insisted that a hug, when applied with sufficient intensity and duration, was far superior. Miss Selkirk did not hug back at first, but after a moment she reached around with one arm, then the other, until she tightened her embrace up to nearly Pinkie levels.
The subdued sob caught Sweetie by surprise, as well as the trembling in her arms when Miss Selkirk lowered herself to sit on the bed and wiped her eyes on the sleeves of her plain dress. “I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “You just seem so much like my daughter.”
“It’s okay to cry,” said Sweetie Belle. “My sister says it’s the best way to get what's on the inside, outside.”
“Thank you.” Miss Selkirk wiped her nose with a tissue. “I don’t know what came over me.” She hesitated halfway through standing up, then sat back down next to Sweetie. “I just want you to be safe at Hogwarts. There were so many deaths there last year. It always was a place of safety for the wizarding world to send their children, and then…”
“Voldemort,” said Sweetie Belle, and a shudder ran down Miss Selkirk’s side. “You and Professor McGonagall said he was dead, and all of his followers hiding or in prison. Right?”
“Yes.” Miss Selkirk tried to smile, although she faltered when Sweetie Belle continued.
“Did your daughter… Did Voldemort kill her too?”
Miss Selkirk nodded slowly. “And my husband. It’s been almost twenty years, back when he first took power, and in some ways it hurts more now than ever.”
After a long period of silence, she stood up and stepped out of the bedroom to go next door, coming back in a few moments with a wand. It was a pale stick, nearly a twig, and just over a foot long including the handle.
“Most wizarding traditions allow wands to be passed down through the generations, as long as they still function. When my husband and our daughter were buried, we broke their wands and left them in the graves. My own heart broke when they died, and I could not bring myself to use my own wand since then. At the time, I thought I might as well be a Muggle. After all, magic took my family away. All I wanted to do was hide from the magical world, so I hid my wand, hid myself, and tried to make a new life running a boarding house.” She gave a wet sniff. “When the first witch showed up, looking for a room, I couldn’t turn her away. Then there was another, and another. Before I knew it, the whole house was nothing but witches and wizards. Then I started providing a meeting place for Hogwarts students and their Muggle friends. And then… now. I’ve never used a wand in all that time, so you might as well use mine. Willow, twelve and three quarters inches long with a veela hair core. Here.”
The wand felt warm to the touch, and Sweetie held it at arm’s length. “You’re giving me your wand?”
“At least you can use it. Go ahead. Give it a wave.” Miss Selkirk put on a forced smile, which faded when Sweetie waved the pale stick around to no effect.
“Does it need to be charged?” asked Sweetie Belle, handing it back over.
“No.” Miss Selkirk held the wand loosely in her hands, turning it over several times before grasping it by the handle and flicking it in Sweetie’s direction. The loose nightshirt promptly tightened up and arranged itself to fit correctly, and the socks which had slipped down over her feet darted back up her chilly legs.
“Guess it’s a little like riding a broomstick.” There was a tremor under one of Miss Selkirk’s eyes, matching the tear trickling down her cheek. She moved to put it into the room’s chest of drawers, only for Sweetie Belle to reach out and touch her on one hip.
“Please. Keep it, at least as long as I’m here.” Sweetie smiled up at her. “Maybe you can show me some magic with it so when I get my own wand, I’ll have some idea how to use it.” A horrible doubt swept over her and Sweetie felt a chill in her chest that the flimsy nightshirt could not stop. It must have been showing in her face too, because Miss Selkirk sat her down on the edge of the bed and slipped the wand up her dress sleeve.
“Every young witch or wizard worries about their first wand. My daughter had to test a dozen wands before she found the one that she liked.” The ghost of a smile crossed the corners of Miss Selkirk’s thin lips. “Or as Mister Ollivander likes to say, the wand chose her. Now, you get some sleep, and we’ll see about some shopping tomorrow.”
Sweetie Belle put on her best plaintive expression. “We’re not buying clothes, are we?”
Miss Selkirk laughed, a welcome release of tension that took years off her tense face and resulted in Sweetie getting another warm hug. “Some clothes are required, my little nudist. Hogwarts is chilly in the winter, and you won’t have your warm unicorn coat to protect you. I promise, we’ll have a good time, and you’ll appreciate it once the snow gets deep in the Hogwarts castle grounds.”
Sweetie particularly appreciated the warm comforter on her bed that evening. Dreams of a serpent-like creature who hissed in the shadows pursued her for quite some time until a familiar darkness swept her up in warm feathered wings and let her truly rest in anticipation of adventures yet to come.
* ♥ *
It was decidedly cold in the bright crystal corridors of the otherworldly Equestrian castle, a chill that exceeded mere temperature, and which would not be dispelled by a wool cloak. Thirty-two unicorns and griffons—each no doubt more experienced and powerful than himself in this world—had vanished down that dark corridor, and he had no idea what happened or where to start looking to keep himself from meeting the same fate.
If ever there was a job doomed to failure, Theodore Nott had it. The only edge he had was time. Certainly, whatever had been lurking in that subterranean vault would wait for a little while longer. By Celestia’s own admittance, it had been two years since King Sombra had been defeated the second time, and nothing too serious had happened so far. A few weeks or even months delay could not hurt while they investigated other, less dangerous places to get information on how the tyrant’s twisted mind ticked.
And if it took him until after his exchange student period was over… he would lose any chance to remove any of the magical artefacts in the hidden vault for his own use. Then again, being fast and dead would keep him from collecting anything but a headstone.
Slow and steady with careful planning was the key to preventing any lethal mistakes. He was not competing against a living opponent, after all. What spells Sombra had laid in defense were static, able to be cofferdamed around, blocked, broken, unwound and unspooled at the leisure of the breaker. Any unexpected results were cause for retreat, not attack. When Granite Peaks had sent more than thirty of the unicorn and griffon spellbreakers into the same area for whatever reason, he had been quite foolish, at least in hindsight.
Still, having the assistance of a disposable flunky for the more dangerous experiments would have been convenient. It was a tempting thought, and although there were several of his fellow Slytherin students who Theodore would have loved to use up in that fashion, he dared not try anything similar here. Since he only had Granite and New Leaf to spend, he would just have to be exceedingly cautious in his exploration instead.
But first, dinner in a world of small horses. Hopefully, he would not wind up dining on hay for his entire time here.
* ♥ *
To be honest, the food was the last thing Theodore Nott noticed. He had thought he was getting used to ponies. There was a lot left for Theodore to learn.
The prim and proper glittering servant pony who guided Theodore and his two unicorn companions into the room had called it the ‘Lesser Western Dining Nook’ while they walked, but when the double-doors had been swept open and the three of them looked inside, there was no ‘lesser’ to be seen. Every surface of the crystal walls was engraved with whirls and scrolls as if some crystalline frost sylphs had brushed every inch with the ice patterns of winter, while the light from the setting sun blazed in through the transparent windows to one side brightly enough that Theodore fumbled his sunglasses out from a pocket.
When he could see again, all he could think about was the chandelier. If it was made out of real diamonds, it was valuable enough to purchase all of Ireland and a few outlying islands. Even if it was merely crystal, the pure value and workmanship… or workponyship in this strange land, was inestimable. Every facet caught the blazing light of the sun and reflected it in pinpoint sharpness to cover the walls in colorful specks of brilliance that drifted slowly with the breeze in a nearly hypnotic fashion until his eyes lowered…
…and he saw her.
Celestia had been a blazing white light of fire and power, able to burn Theodore into ash with the slightest effort but restrained by her will. This pink alicorn was… not. She was love, the unstoppable power that drove the entire human race out of caves and into civilization, the touch that made men into fools and women into goddesses. He could feel the waves of pure adoration pouring off her like water down Victoria Falls, cresting in waves that swept over him until he could drown happily under the pounding torrent. There was no restraint in her love, nothing held back or reserved.
His entrancement lasted only a moment, until Theodore could see a second alicorn sitting on the table, a younger type of the small ponies, with the same big eyes and the largest wings he had seen proportionate to any of them so far. She was adorable in so many ways, and if the portal had still been up, he would have been sorely tempted to steal both of the alicorns away.
The sight of a third pony at the low table, a male unicorn with an open expression and a smile, made any thoughts of alicorn theft evaporate like the dew. There was a sense of steel under that quiet smile, sharp steel that the unicorn would have no qualms about using in defense of the alicorns at his side or any one of the other ponies in the Crystal Empire. The Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt had a similar look, which made Theodore very glad he was on a world far away. This unicorn looked like he would have crossed that cosmic gap and more in order to protect what was his and his alone. Or to bring hellfire and certain retribution if they were harmed.
“Ah, our elusive Mister Nott,” said the unicorn as he rose smoothly to his hooves and began to walk forward. “Princess Celestia told us about you before she had to return to Canterlot on urgent business. I’m Shining Armor, and this is my wife, Cadence, and our daughter, Flurry Heart.”
Theodore nodded back. “Prince Armor, I believe you know Granite Peaks, my instructor, and…” The newly renamed unicorn made no attempt to introduce himself, leaving an awkward gap in the conversation.
“New Leaf,” growled Granite. “Silly name. May we be excused, sir? We have work to do.”
“Oh, no Mister Peaks,” called out the motherly pink alicorn. She scurried out from behind the laden table, leaving the cute little toddler playing with a bowl of what looked like peas. “Come and sit with us for a change. Take one evening off from your tasks so we can get acquainted. You’ve been working yourself to the bone ever since—” Cadence dimmed, the warm flood of love that streamed endlessly off her shifting somehow into something more sympathetic and supportive.
The warm flow washed over Granite Peaks with little effect, other than a faint rise to his ears and shifting of his stance, but it was a weakness, a place to play one power off against another. Royalty was, at least on the surface here, a more potent ally than a magic teacher, and points gained early in a relationship would pay larger dividends later. Theodore only hoped the rules of social behavior were similar in this strange equine world.
“You need a break, sir,” said Theodore in the strongest tone of voice he had used in years. He rested one hand on the back of the grey unicorn, feeling the knots of tense muscles and tendons tremble under his fingers. “If you go back into the tunnels tired and sloppy, you’ll get yourself trapped too, and that won’t do your crew a whit of good. Their Highnesses have offered us the courtesy of their table for the evening, so as your student for the next school year, I advise you to accept their offer.”
For a moment, Theodore thought his teacher was going to bite him. Granite calmed down quickly, though. Heaving a quick breath that hissed out from between his bared teeth, Granite turned back to Princess Cadence and lowered himself down in a slow nod.
“Your Highness. On behalf of my students, we accept your offer.”
Those were about the last words that Granite spoke during the delayed dinner, and New Leaf was similarly reluctant to speak up, leaving Theodore with the unaccustomed task of being the social one of the group. He stuck to it, guiding the conversation through an abbreviated history of the Crystal Empire and what little was known about Sombra intermixed with compliments about the decor and the food.
Far from hay, the vegetables and fruits in the dishes were just as delicious as the fare at Hogwarts, although lacking in any meat. Quantity made up the difference, and Theodore suspected a few weeks of being fed like this would fatten him up despite the lack of pork chops or brisket. Even the salad dishes carried just as many calories in nuts and dressings, making him determined to use a preservation spell to slip some of the more clever creations into his luggage before he went home. If nothing else, his little brother Wycliffe would enjoy them along with tales of the strange place containing so many colorful ponies.
The one thing he was unable to get an angle on was the exact thing he was here to assist with: Sombra’s hidden dark magics. Neither Shining Armor or Princess Cadence had been in the empire during the thousand year banishment, and Cadence gained a nervous twitch whenever anything related slipped into the conversation. A little prodding got a tidbit about how she was far older than she looked, and had spent centuries as a foal in a distant nunnery being cared for as a goddess, but that was as far as it went before the dinner was over, and they all excused themselves for the evening.
Things had not gone anywhere the way that Theodore Nott had expected today. Which in hindsight was not all that bad.
It still made him worry.
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Flurry would be about three or four here at best guess.
Well that's a wicked trap, designing the thing to take prisoners to shield itself with is entirely in keeping with Sombra's nature. You need a touch of sadism to really succeed in trap-making, and Sombra possessed that quality in abundance.
I wonder if Sombra and Voldemort face off, who would come out on top?
I sense Celestia's hoofprints all over this.
And we dig a little deeper to find the shadows under the surface, whether traps or trauma. And Sweetie's already going to work in terms of reconnecting people with what they do best. Theodore, meanwhile, has quite the task ahead of him. Can't say I envy him. His perception of the ponies is certainly interesting. I can only imagine how he'd react to Luna, Twilight, or Pinkie.
Hi new Snape!
No? The workers are still trapped on there. Send them food and things.
Looks like Flurry Heart made quite the impression on Mr. Nott. I wonder how Sombra set up his trap and how the script could be involved?
I always knew Sweetie Belle secretly craved the flesh of the living.
Interesting choice to just have her embrace omnivorousness.
I really like how you're writing Theodore, he's still very much a Slytherin but is still a likable and interesting character. It's so common to see the Slytherins depicted as mustache twirling evil that it's nice to see one done as a realistic character.
Interesting chapter. Sweetie is living up to her name here, and Theodore... well, he's definitely a Slytherin.
Seems like Sweetie and Theodore should connect after their exchange is done and work on a trans-dimensional recipe exchange. There'd probably be good money to be made on those cookbooks.
Should read "chose her."
Cofferdammed - cofferdamed would involve making nobility out of a money chest.
Spells that are a variation on the Venus Fly Trap with spacio, temporal componants, back propagation, overlapping, amongst others?
Chose
Sweetie and Nott continue to be interestingly perceptive in their own ways. Can everypony sense the power radiating off of the alicorns, or just Theodore?
Also, I saw that Skywriter reference.
9927769
Isn't this the 3rd fanfic I know of that does that though ?
I wonder how Nott would look like as a Pony
9927665
Most certainly - I'm most curious about Twilight's 'aura' but the others are no doubt fascinating as well.
9927936 I do too. He's not going to be one in the story, though.
9927918 Well, there's only X categories of common carnivore food to cover: Fish, Beef, Chicken, and Hogs. Ponies have been spotted fishing in the show, so chicken is the most obvious thing to use to show the cultural and species preference.
9927882 Pretty sure Shining Armor can detect his wife several floors away in the castle. :)
9927877 Picky, picky. Got it.
9927860 Venus Princesstrap Spell. Realize that Flurry Heart is at that gets-into-everything age.
9927849 I swear, the whole of fanfiction writers are the kids who won the spelling bee, where I always got knocked out on the first round. Fixed.
9927805 The thing to remember when writing characters, INCLUDING villains, is they think they're right. That's why they make those decisions. Sometimes, you have to be careful. Marvel wrote Thanos so well there were a number of people who thought he was right also.
9927769 Gonna be a lot of fun when she returns home and starts asking some questions: "Applejack, what exactly do you do with the hogs? And can I get some bacon next time you do?"
9927718 9927614 Paranoid, insane, and powerful. The three legs on the villain stool.
9927714 They are trapped in the walls. That's going to be a problem for JimmyJohn's to deliver a sandwich.
9927665 I do plan on introducing him to each. And taking a tour of Tartarus. And speaking with Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy. (no, I don't plan on letting them loose.)
9927639 If she can't find a local to protect her great-niece in the Crystal Empire, she'll dig out the ol' H1B visa and import one.
9927637 Depends on how many minions they can sacrifice.
Think Xykon in OOTS
9927965
not even for a short amount of time, cause a spell gone wrong or one of Sombras hidden traps?
9927983 People who thought Thanos was right were of a sort I tend to expect to be plentiful among humans: idiots.
Thanos was a short-sighted fanatic who knew little of the nature of life, nor that merely wiping out half would do nothing as a single generation could bring the numbers all the way back up.
All fools... ALL inferior to ME!! The TRUE Great and Powerful Alondro!
(Alondro collects all 6 EoH, the 6 Segments of the Key To Time, and the 6 Infinity Gems! Wait... that's... 666?!!!! ALONDRO WAS THE ANTICHRIST ALL ALONG, WE GOTTA STOP HIM BEFO- GAK!!)
Foolish Narrator, you're too late! YOU'RE ALL TOO LATE!!! Terminator is now DEAD!! Soon Star Wars shall fail and my destruction of the ancient franchise chains which bind my hand shall be broken! AND ALL THE FICTIONAL COSMOS SHALL BE UNDER MY RULE!! MUWAH HA HA HA!!
*New, and much more fanatically loyal Narrator here! All hail Lord Alondro, the Troll King and the Deus Ex Self-Insert!*
9927965
Sorry. Honestly I'm not too sure about reader comment ettiquette. Where it doesn't detract from the story, is it better to just leave that stuff unmentioned? I realize different authors may feel differently.
Wait until she gets a cheeseburger!
I can confirm all the above are pretty good, although I've always known rumbledethumps and bubble and squeak.
I wonder about Sweetie's age in this, it's odd that the two exchange students seem such different ages, it seems that Sweetie if starting at the first year at Hogwarts making her about 11-12 which seems to fit with her general cuteness to most of the adult's she meets where as Theo is at the other end of his career taking or having missed his OWL (O-levels, GCSEs) so 16ish. What is Sweetie's actual age / maturity in both human and pony terms, is she actually 11-12 as she appears or is she 16 but seems young? Or is she actually something like 5 which equals another age in human terms or even the reverse ponies have long lives and she's still a child of 32, or something.
9928233 No, no, no. You're fine. I'm just snarky in my comments. Keep on finding those hidden gems, like the Urlock in Letters From a Little Princess Monster.
9928240 And fries. Or British, would be chips.
9928259 Sweetie, Sparrow, and Wycliffe are all 11 years old since they're First Years. Wycliffe is kind-of a latchkey kid, raised at home by his father and two house elves (Peas and Carrots). Magic comes easy to him, he plays the guitar (self-taught), and since he lives in a nature sanctuary (a Snitch preserve), he knows a lot more about magical creatures and herbs than most his age. Socially, he's way, way behind. Sparrow (not her real name) is one of those annoying kids who move every year or so as her parents got transferred. She's been in Japan, SoCal, a few other places for a month or two at a time, and now Britain (Which she mostly knows about from the Ultima series of games, poor thing) She has an amazing memory, the patience of a sugar-juiced toddler, and a father who trained her in self-defense in addition to a number of other physical skills that she tried for a few months and gave up. Socially, she's never had real friends either since she always moves (her excuse) or they find her godawfully annoying. Sweetie Belle is the typical small-town girl going to the big boarding school isn't this neat! Only she's been exposed weekly to things in Ponyville that experts in the field of the paranormal would run screaming away from.
So you've got over-reserved, under-reserved, and over-social, the evil trio. It doesn't help their average IQ is probably around 150.
Theodore Nott is 17 (or 18 depending on birthdays) which in the wizarding world is a full adult. He's bright, convoluted, and has a restrained sense of wanting to attain power because he's seen what terrible things happen to people who are impatient in that regard. When his father dies, he will be the Head of House Nott, and inherit the properties it owns, which includes part of the Snitch Sanctuary.
9928322
I sorely hope they all do into Slitherin even if only for the subversion.
No Cheeseburgers In Paradise
When I came to Equestria, they told me
"Equestria is paradise, but you'll have to change your carnivorous deeds.
You'll see no more meat for the rest of your stay.
You'll spend your day living like a bird on sunflower seeds,
Breathing fresh air, and hanging with ponies at work and at play."
"But at night Luna will bring these wonderful dreams.
Some kind of sensuous treat.
Not zucchini, fettucine, or a sugary treat.
But a big warm bun and a huge hunk of meat."
How can Equestria be Paradise?
Without cheeseburgers it ain't Paradise!
They're Heaven on Earth with an onion slice,
I'll be particular, I'll be precise
I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes
Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer.
Back on Earth, I'd know where to steer, 'cause
Without cheeseburgers it ain't Paradise!
You talk to the average Equestrian and
They eat the same food again and again and again.
Warm beer and stale bread,
the taste could gag the dead.
It's all you can get at an Equestrian inn.
It's the same for this human these days
So I'll head for Earth to get what I need.
Not just Havanas and bananas and daiquiris,
But that American creation on which I feed
Equestria may be a Pony paradise.
But I'd suffer any hardship and pay any price
To get one medium rare with mustard'd be nice
But there are no cheeseburgers in Paradise!
Without cheeseburgers, it ain't Paradise!
I'm only human in every virtue and vice
so how can Equestria be Paradise?
I'll be particular, I'll be precise.
I like mine with lettuce and tomatoes
Heinz 57, and French fried potatoes,
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Back on Earth, I'd know where to steer
To get a small piece of Paradise
Yeah, a cheeseburger is Paradise!
Jimmy Buffett, eat your heart out.
9928669 Amen! Preach it, brother!
As a slytherin, I am offended by this story! (Not really, I just wanted to say something because I haven't commented on this chapter)
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I have the perfect song for this.
You're welcome.
That is some prime SCP Foundation thinking.
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That was not clear to me at all. There’s barely any description of Flurry’s physique or behavior. Can she speak sentences? Or at least coherent words? I would think so if Cadence and Shining bring her to a special occasion, like dinner with a visitor from another world.
Assuming she’s out of diapers, is she wearing any garments or royal trappings? Does she spend more time on four legs, instead of sitting up like a quasi-human infant?
Giving Cadence and Shining each an Anime-esque aura of power was the wrong way to go about their introduction. A big part of their appeal, and Twilight’s, how approachable they are despite being heroes and royalty (and immortal Alicorns). It feels like they were given the ability to be summed up in a glance for the sake of saving time, and not writing a proper conversation. Compared to Sweetie, so much of Theodore’s learning and interactions with the world Equestria just the monologues and list of observations done in his head. Theodore is a more introverted than Sweetie, of course. But Sbo just has more interesting character interactions and real conversations, but I keep finding myself tempted to skip over the Nott POVs entirely.
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I’m just confused about that starting course of hay. Did they sincerely think Nott could eat that kind of thing? Or were they just chowing down while he waited for proper nourishment to arrive? It doesn’t mention he was offered anything else in the meantime.
ICR which story, but the day she was toilet trained was declared a national holiday
Women cry because they can't swear, men swear because they can't cry.
Old time saying.
11325468 Think you're thinking of A Princess By Any Other Name by Skywriter, a magnificent take on Ghost of Heraclitus's Civil Service series.