The waiter has just made a very funny mistake. See, he thinks Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Rarity are all dating, when it's actually just Twilight and Dash. Rarity thinks it's very funny not to correct him. Now how far can she take the joke?

A spiritual sequel to Flimsy Pretexts, written as a response to the effervescent Monochromatic. An effort to close our loop of RariTwi x Dash, then RariDash x Twi - naturally there needed to be a TwiDash x Rarity for balance.

Preread by Pearple Prose and Undome Tinwe

Magic, the most forbidden art. Only nobles are allowed to learn from the great wizards and witches, and only from special schools set up by the state. For commoners, learning the mystic arts is nothing but a dream, a fantasy that many strive for but none achieve.

With one exception: Stalliongrad. The great, northern city boasted more magic schools than any other, and among them, the only one that accepts low born ponies. It's a dangerous trek to get there, and even more dangerous to simply stay in the frozen city.

Twilight Sparkle, however, will not be stopped. Destined to become the archmage, destined to sit at Princess Luna's side, she will not be stopped.

After all, Archmage Twilight Sparkle has a nice ring to it.

I'm in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of orifices I didn't know I had. Why am I there? Why is Rainbow Dash sitting in the corner?

Why is she crying?

A thousand years ago in Equestria, Luna's frustration and desperation has been building for years and years as her social and political isolation grows, but just before Luna's jealousy and resentment can turn into murderous hatred against her sister, a new event triggars Luna's mental collapse and pushes her over the edge. When Luna by circumstance finds herself alone in Celestia's room she reads her sister's diary out of curiosity and discovers all of the disparaging criticism that Celestia has leveled at her over the years about how much of a nuisance Luna has been to her, but has been too polite to say directly to Luna's face.

Luna and Celestia had always supported and stuck with each other all their lives. Even when the common-ponies critisism and shunning of her was at its worst, the knowledge that her sister loved her kept Luna going. The realization that nopony, not even her own sister valued her or thought she was fit for the throne completely shattered whatever remained of her fragile psyche.

And so Luna just gave up...

She gave in...

If no one wanted her there...

Then she wouldn't stay there...

She would leave.

A nice Yakutian stallion visits the nice, friendly lands of Equestria for a diplomatic visit. Despite being toted around as a land of Friendship and happiness, all of the mares keep bothering and or attacking him? What gives? Did he do something wrong? Was it a culture thing?

Well, Snowball, even with a security detail assigned to him, he'll have to learn why. As for the mares of Equestria, they'll be taught a very valuable lesson... By Snowball of all ponies. Will he and his luxuriously tempting extra-thiccc arctic coat survive Equestria uncuddled and unmolested?? Who knows?

RGRE Equestria with a Yakutian from a not RGRE culture based around Anui/Innuit/Yakut culture

A lot of influence from "The Long and Short of It" by SQA with his permission

Celestia had come to hate the fragrance of dark coffee. Because it had meant Twilight was up. 

Rainbow Dash's morning was pretty much ruined.
She tripped getting out of bed and landed flat on her face, giving herself an aching muzzle.
She forgot to buy her favorite brand of hay flakes at the store yesterday and had to eat plain toast for breakfast.
She found out she had to pull double-duty today and tomorrow on the weather patrol.
Oh, and she found a nearly-dead foal, broken and bleeding at the edge of Ponyville.

The rest of her day became a whirlpool of stress and worry but the colt woke up, thank Celestia.
Something's not right, though. Nopony can find his parents, he's not in the registers, and there's an unsettling look in his eye...

-
YouTube reading by Fire Hearth

Chinese Translation by forgivenlove

Russian Translation by Likantrop

TV Tropes page, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper

In a world where she sees from a distorted perspective, all Twilight Sparkle can do is cling to the one pony she knows will never let her down: her teacher, the princess... no matter which princess her addled brain tells her that is. Twilight's used to rewriting letters, but when she's the one being rewritten, she finds the sensation to be altogether different.

Many thanks must go to my awesome editors, Varanus, Ebon Mane, shortskirtsandexplosions, Seattle_Lite, and Nick Nack.

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