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Dear diary....
The line froze Luna in her tracks. The shock of having her expectations subverted utterly was like a bucket of ice water on her emotions. It was difficult to maintain the heat of her fury in the face of the growing feeling that she had just committed a very severe error in judgement. Her anger and rage sputtered out, replaced with a burning feeling of embarrassment.
While Luna was busy undoing the seal, her mind had been churning with dark and sinister conspiracies over what her sister wanted to hide from her. The fact that she had gotten herself worked up into such a senseless state, that she had lost any semblance of composure and dignity over her a simple diary deeply embarrassed the Princess.
A cold, creeping sensation of dread settled in her veins as her mind unfroze and started to think over the implications of what she had just done. She would not be able to conceal the broken enchantment. Even if she recast the spell exactly right and attuned it to unlock upon contact with her sister’s magic, she couldn’t mimic her sister’s magical signature, nor could she hide her own. Celestia would instantly know what had happened and who was responsible.
At that moment Luna wished that she had taken a more active interest in Starswirl’s lessons on temporal magic, as she realized that she had potentially made a big mistake. She had violated her sister’s privacy and brute-forced open what was surely one of her sister’s most private possessions, over nothing but her own out of control paranoia. The dread amplified as she realized how much trouble she could potentially be in.
The Lunar Princess recognized the dark emotional spiral that she was descending into and, with gritted teeth, brutally suppressed her growing fearfulness. The bitter frustration and slowly simmering anger that had served as her ever faithful companion in recent times returned to melt the icy dread that had settled in her veins from the previous shock. She also felt shame that her emotional state had been reduced to that of a filly with her hoof caught in the cookie jar.
Luna hated this. She hated that she felt like this. She hated the shadow that her sister had cast upon nearly every aspect of her life and her mind. She hated that even something as tangentially related to Celestia as her property made her feel these dark emotions.
As Luna internally organized her emotions, she turned her focus more fully to the object of her recent internal strife. Her curiosity bloomed once again.
Luna didn’t know why her sister had chosen such extreme security measures to lock her diary. Normally only the most important and dangerous artifacts that the kingdom possessed would justify such extraordinary protection. The thought over what Celestia could have possibly thought was so sensitive that needed Starswirl’s seal only reinforced that curiosity and forged a hardened resolve over her course of action.
She realized that it was too late to undo what she had just done and that she was likely to get trouble even if she stopped reading the diary right now. With nothing more to risk and nothing further to lose than what had already been risked and lost, the Princess decided to sate her curiosity and find out what her sister really thought about things and what lay in the darkest recesses of her mind.
So with a deep breath and steely determination, so began to read the diary in earnest.
Dear Diary
It’s been years now since Luna and I took power and tried to rebuild a shattered nation. It hasn’t been easy, but the safety and prosperity of our ponies has been worth every effort.
The two of us realized a long time ago that we didn’t age like other ponies. We were never certain if that was due to our nature as Alicorns or our exposure to the tree or our status as Element bearers, but regardless of the reasons, it’s something that we need to come to terms. If my sister and I were mortal ponies, we would have perished already.
I’m writing this diary because I don’t want to forget. It’s been so long that already old friends and old faces from my childhood, have slipped from my mind. If I write it down here and in subsequent diaries when this one is full, I can always come back and remind myself. Even if we live for a thousand years, I will remember.
Sincerely Celestia
Luna understood was her sister was trying to accomplish by writing this diary. She herself had being doing much the same with her art, poetry and writing. Trying to capture a moment in eternity so that you will never lose it. A soft note of melancholy joined the chorus of anger, frustration, curiosity, determination and something darker that sang in her mind.
She didn’t like to think often of her state of perpetual existence. That she was forever destined to watch any friends that she ever made wither against the slow, unending march of time. Her sister was her only true reliable constant in her life, the only one that was guaranteed to be there for her. It’s why the coldness, distance and animosity that had come between them cut so deep and hurt so much.
Luna cherished their relationship more than she had ever cherished anything else in her life. To see Celestia become addicted to the praise and love of her ponies, to see her favor arrogant and self-serving nobles over her own sister and to see her treat the one pony that loved Celestia more than any other with aloof dismissiveness. It hurt Luna more than she thought possible. Her sister served as her bedrock in this world, STILL served as her bedrock in this world.
The diary went on.
Dear Diary
I had a meeting with the Counsel of Nobles today. The topic of discussion was the implementation of a new double-entry bookkeeping system into the royal record keeping books. Lord White Castle was concerned about the cost of implementation, while Lady Ruby Diadem was more concerned about the possible major disruptions to...
The diary went on like this for a great many of the initial pages, acting more like a factual account of Celestia’s daily activities than a look into her sister’s thoughts and feelings.
Luna began to read faster, skimming the more generic entries and noticed a disturbing trend begin to form as more of her sister’s thoughts started to become more transparent.
Dear Diary
It’s the Summer Sun Celebration today. The turnout for the event has been astonishing, I’ve never seen so many ponies in one place since before the Collapse of Old Equestria.
Even though things have now mostly stabilized in the decades since those dark days, much has not yet and perhaps never will recover. So much of our history and traditions were lost, even most holidays were forgotten.
At first this holiday and Luna’s Winter Moon Festival were only supposed to be placeholder holidays. Generic twice a year celebrations during the two solstices meant to give the ponies of this New Equestria something to look forward to, a chance to be merry, to help promote unity and provide a sense of community. I never could have imagined what it would morph into when I started the tradition all those years ago.
Now it’s become more like a celebration of us Princesses and a chance for ponies to show gratitude and praise for all that we have done for our kingdom. It was awkward at first to be the centre of adoration, but now it’s more flattering than anything else. To know that I have made a positive change in the lives of so many ponies that they would travel from all over Equestria to give me thanks and praise. It’s an incredible feeling.
Not everypony was so celebratory though. Luna has gotten upset over the Festival again. I keep telling her that she shouldn’t compare our two Festivals and that she couldn’t expect our ponies to travel from far and wide during harsh winter, like they can in summer. I’m certain that ponies love her just as much as they love me, but by the pure, harsh reality of logistics and practicality, ponies just can’t celebrate in winter the same way that they do in summer.
She shouldn’t use the popularity of our respective festivals a litmus test on the common ponies’ opinion of her. Personally I think that she is just being dramatic...
Luna exhaled violently and gritted her teeth hard enough that they would have surely shattered if is was a normal pony, as she read that last line. It would be exactly in line with Celestia’s character to sit high up on her pedestal and dismiss her sister’s pain as needless dramatics. Even though her anger only grew stronger the more she read, another emotion also bloomed alongside her rage, sorrow.
...Luna approached me again today with a proposal to incorporate and give representatives from the New Towns greater political power. I keep trying to tell Luna that the Nobles will never accept having their power diluted in such a way. We need to solidify their support, unify all of the Old Towns and centralize as much power as we can under the New Equestrian banner.
New Towns are barely self sufficient and can’t protect themselves, they rely on us far too much to break away. It’s not their support and goodwill that we need to garner and cultivate. I want greater representation for all cities and towns across Equestria more than any pony, but if the Old Towns and their nobles grow too alienated and break off into city-states again, all of our hard work to unite Equestria will be undone.
I swear, she is such an ignorant foal sometimes! Does she not realize how fragile the peace is. She needs to understand that there is a process to doings things. It’s like she doesn’t even understand the most basic of politics. I have to spend half of my time managing the country and the other half managing Luna. She says that I control too much of her life, but she doesn’t realize all that I’m doing to protect her. The sheer insolent ingratitude...
With every biting insult that she read, she mourned the loss of the relationship that she held so dear to her heart.
Slowly, entry by entry, the diary become increasingly scornful.
...it’s as though Luna is actively looking for reasons to be miserable. Nothing ever seems to satisfy her. She just sulks in her wing of the castle and is hostile to everyone around her. The amount of nobility that I’ve had to sooth over, because of her tantrums...
Ever since Luna was old enough to remember, she looked up to Celestia as an idol, as a hero. Celestia kept her safe from the all the terrors of the world. No matter how dark things were, her sister would keep her safe. Even if the whole world turned against Luna, she could count on her big sister to be there for her. To protect her, to comfort her and to lift her up when she was at her lowest.
...does Luna not even realize how hard she makes things for both of us. While Luna is off on her own mission doing some sort of personal project or just busy feeling sorry for herself, I’m the only one running the kingdom.
She even has the audacity to accuse ME of being in the wrong and not making enough time for her. Does she not see how much I’m busy with. I don’t have time to coddle her feelings. She is so selfish, I can’t believe that she...
The diary went on and on and on. Everything that Celestia was too polite to say to her face.
...absolutely insufferable. And she wonders why I don’t spend time with her. Who would want to spend any time around a pony that is always so bitter and spiteful...
No matter how much animosity existed between them Luna always loved her sister and believed that deep down, no matter their disagreements, that Celestia loved her just as deeply.
...an utter embarrassment to the crown that she wears...
It was what kept Luna going even when she was at her darkest points. She could disbelieve what was staring her in the face and, even if only for a moment, pretend that things were like they were before. Before these thrones and nobles and responsibilities ruined everything. When it was just two sisters standing together against the whole world.
...I should have known it was a mistake to make Equestria into a diarchy...
Tears ran down Luna’s face as the illusion was shattered.
...making a mockery of her royal position...
Rage, sorrow, anguish and utter heartbreak churned in Luna’s mind as she felt the foundation of her world collapse in on it’s self.
...useless...
She felt like she was drowning.
...ungrateful...
Like an abyssal darkness was consuming her bit by bit.
...whiny...
She felt numb.
...worthless...
She couldn’t stop shaking.
...unwanted...
She couldn’t breathe.
...everything would be so much easier if I could just rule alone...
And then something broke inside of Luna.
Like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut, she felt her legs give out from under her and fell onto the floor. The book fell from her grasp, but she could hardly care at that point. Luna curled into the fetal position. She shook violently as her unrestrained sobs raked her whole body.
For the first time in her life Luna felt completely and utterly alone.
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Sun princess needs to get a 1000 year banishment to the damned sun
Damnit Celestia!
this was a real good chapter, can't wait to see the after math of this.
Great chapter.
...tho personally I'd prefer if there was no 'grand fight' which marks Luna leaving and instead she leaves her crown right next to the diary and just walk away from the castle.
It would be a pretty neat departure from canon, and Celestia (maybe after she starts missing her sister after some time) would be just left hanging, hoping to get a chance to explain or even just apologize. It might even subvert what Celestia herself even thinks about Luna, and honestly we've already seen what happened when those two had a pretty explosive break to their relationship.
This is just my opinion tho, and I am not the one writing this fic, you are. Whatever you write would be pretty good anyway, so gl with the next chapter?
Luna should burn her sisters diary then take her crown and leave it in the remains as she leaves as a way to say " I saw what you wrote and you get your wish" and then luna could either flat out keep doing the night sky her way or just abandon it and leave celestia with an empty night sky and having to do both her and lunas job
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Na she needs to see what happens when she cannot tell Luna what to do. After all if Luna leaves Equestria and her crown then who can tell her not to do something to her night. Maby she could spite celestia by going against the treaty to make celestia look incapable
And now a different kind of seed has been planted on Lunas mind it seems… can’t really blame her…
I wonder just how fresh is the ink upon those pages? And how much does sun monarch actually care at this time? And will she still enjoy the praice once her sister leaves? Or if she was The Bedrock for Luna, what is she(Luna) to her(Sunbutt) even? A spare?…
Keep it up.
you know I bet luna can tell the stars and moon to go dark a rest time when it is Equestria nighttime bland and blank till it suns up.... in the non-equastria night those places in that time get the really pretty sky in other places and pretty moon with the best colors and stars along with events blessed by luna to share Celestia doesn't get to enjoy the night unless she out of Equestria on a trip along with any pony from its lands she rules.
or if Celestia wants to have a pretty night for her ponies she can make it herself on her mana and time why should luna waste her time on that place?
Lol
Oh god
This is an excellent chapter and it's understandable that it was complex to write. Who knows (of course not for you dear writer) what will happen next? Will there be a violent fight like in cannon? Or perhaps a tempered confrontation? Will Luna simply leave without a word? A simple letter? And will Celestia see her mistakes before it is too late or will she enjoy the departure of her sister if Luna leaves peacefully?
Personally i think it would be better if she just left. Doing no fighting would have a bigger impact in this case ala you aren't even worth the effort anymore.
Thanks for another great chapter, it's getting spicy.
Best of luck with the next one.
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Spoilers!
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Turns out, not much. Ouch.
Absolutely incredible chapter. I am personally of the opinion that a quiet departure without anyone knowing would be the best way for Luna to leave. Just leave her crown, and potentially a note with it that reads something like "You get your wish, enjoy being a monarch".
Ooh, I can't wait to see how this plays out.
One theory, if Luna leaves, is it possible she will permanently obscure, or remove, the moon and stars?
And on that night, that the princess of night disappeared, she took with her the night sky. No more light of the full moon to guide those lost in the dark, no more guiding stars to see ships safely home. All that is left, is the black void of night.
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Her final act upon departure is to fill the night sky with shooting stars.
Side note has anyone here been watching Andor, and if so what do you think of "the eye"?
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The final setting of the moon should have the sky light up with the stars shooting after the moon never to be seen again afterwards. Maby even have the moon and stars refuse celestias call
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Just picture her trying and only getting a splitting headache for her efforts.
Well Celestia, looks like power and politics has gotten too deep inside your head. I suppose you should be happy now that you're ruling alone. Just like you wanted. Powerful and alone. Immortal and alone. No true friends. No family. Alone till the end of time. Just like you wanted, yes?
Aww
In the immortal words of 2 Unlimited.
Y'all ready for this!?
People are talking about Luna having a letter that says you got your wish. Personally I think a incredibly formal letter of abdication followed by I loved you. Would be best
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A true stunning thing to have… poetic justice!
Little did Luna know that Alondro had written the diary himself, knowing how easily her frail, INFERIOR mind would snap.
For Alondro is too powerful... much too powerful!
Alondro was DIO, ALL ALONG!!
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/754/561/c2f.jpg
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"Monkey's Paw" shall strike again!
MOAR
When you write Luna leaving the castle, don’t forget to make her destroy her own lab. Celestia (along with her subjects) shouldn’t get the benefits of her discoveries and breakthroughs.
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Luna should abandon the night sky and let the nations that slighted her suffer the inability to travel at night (i.e. breakdown of international trade).
Not only that, make Celestia both suffer the burden of preserving the night sky and the ire of the nations I previously talked about.
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if she abandons it then its likely the stars will remain so taking them or telling them to go to sleep or leave would leave celestia with her own night sky insted of the one luna put her blood sweat and tears into.
Also if luna wanted to be malicious then she could remove all good breakthroughs entirly and leave only scraps of ones that are harmfull or dangerus but with removed warnings or left with the good discoverys names. That way celestia will have to either admit they were stolen or take them and the failures as her own. if she blames luna then luna can respond that she stole and use them incorrectly
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That would be the best course of action. That way, when everything goes wrong (as I listed in the comments a couple of chapters ago), no one can blame Luna.
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Let us not forget the Thestrals deserting Equestria, thus minimizing the nation’s security from foreign armies, monsters, and criminals.
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In regards to the night sky, I am of the belief that the contents are always shifting and that Luna has to put them back into place every night. That’s why I advocate Luna simply abandoning it because, in due time, the sky will be unreadable.
In regards to your idea about Luna leaving and mislabeling her most dangerous discoveries and breakthroughs, I’m for it.
I vividly saw it ending like this so I wrote what I thought would happen
Anyways! I’m loving the story so far! It’s written well so you don’t need to worry about that and the speed of progression is juuuust right. You write Luna’s emotional state very well! It’s easy to see when her emotions change and why they change.
Great chapter, hope for more!
"There is one major difference between good and bad people. Good people have bad thoughts,and bad people act on them."
I can totally see Celestia word vomiting her worst emotions and feelings into this journal and then regretting all of it after she had coolled down.
Emotions are a powerful force and can often sweep people away. And in this case they sweep poor Luna away from her loving sister.
Also I would like to point out that when you go looking for bad/evil, you often find it. And when you specifically go looking for incriminating evidence, you (Luna) will find it. She probably missed all of the good things Celestia wrote down and focused only on the hurtful.
(Please correct me if I'm wrong)
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Sssshhhhhhhh🤐
11400311
I agree
I would argue that the only reason Celestia was able to move them in cannon was because luna was not there to challenge her influence. In this setting, even if Luna leaves Canterlot, she would still be able to hold power over them. Thus preventing Celestia from being able to bring them back.
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A really good point. Which further makes the fact we only have one side of the story so far just that much better.
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YES! That's much better than anything I could think of.
That was a good chapter I wonder were Luna will go after she ditches Celestia.
Damn this chapter hit like a truck to the heart. I loved it so much and I am incredibly eager to see what happens next. Your writing is honestly inspiring and I wish I had the energy and motivation to put something out like you do.
11400477
while we havent seen celestias view on this we do know this:
1. Celestia brushed off luna telling her that the winter festivel was less popular as a non issue when luna "threw tantrums" about it meaning it was important to her and she ignored that.
2. Celestia cut funding for the winter festivel (forgot why) insted of using the funding for her own one that i assume was further away and more able to be planned for with a smaller budget or have the funds found for it.
3. Celestia did not talk to luna before making the promise about the stars to another country and since she knew that was lunas job she either:
a) is so emotianly distent from her sister that she did not understand that luna should have been brought into that talk before making that promise
b) Views luna as too imature to see the " bigger picture" and judging by her not showing up to luna afterwards to apologise to her for the invasion of her duties she likely expects luna to just deal with it and get over it.
Over all celestia is not looking good and im guessing she would not notice if luna just left for at least a month.
Also did you know that the stars could be seen during the day if they were brighter? Luna might know this and make them so bright that the night is no longer day and during the day the sky is unable to be looked at
Well done once again!
Celestia should know that if she keep stripping power from Luna,of course she'll be upset. She's undermining all of Luna's authority without even talking about things with her.
That was Celestia's private diary! It's really Luna's fault for breaking the seal abd reading it! Sure, what Celestia wrote was mean and unsympathetic, but it was still her own private thoughts written out of raw emotion. Celestia probably didnt really mean most of it, and would probably go "Oh, I can't believe I wrote that! Must've been having a bad day." I'm not saying that Celestia is blameless. She probably has been taking Luna for granted. But news flash: siblings get on each other's nerves all the time. That's why venting in a PRIVATE diary is important. So, sorry, but Luna's at fault here.
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While I agree the fault lies on Luna but words written, slowly and presumably at the end of the day, is not written in the heat of the moment. It shows a broken relationship that probably can’t be fixed today or even this week. Celestia is toxic for Luna’s health and simply leaving is probably for the best.
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"Monster is a relative term. From the point of view of a canary, a cat is a monster."
-Dr Henry Wu
Whuh oh, the truth comes out!
I really have to question Celestia's love for sister dearest with the volume of derogatory remarks written about her. Even when you're venting on paper about something you can still demonstrate some objectivity about events, but a near endless storm of insults? That's more revealing than she realizes.
But now Luna knows for sure that Celestia never took her sister's authority seriously. "Lesser princess", indeed. Let's see how Celly likes having everypony around her being lesser.
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Keep in mind that only the first 3-4 entries had proper context. If Luna is actively looking for proof of the sinister recesses of her sister’s mind, then she will find that proof and focus on that as opposed to what else might be written.
*adding story to favorites*
Thank you for the chapters, just started reading now, I like this concept, a kind of 'what if', I look forward to seeing where you take your story for later chapters.