Interlude 8: ????????
???????? POV:
The mission was a failure. We are pulling out of the deal.
-Regent Overlord Crimson Feather
The message's recipient stared down in disbelief at one of his Trillium Crystals.
‘That's it? That's all that those pathetic wretches give me as an explanation.’
He tried to send a message to demand more information but the connection had been severed from the other end.
He almost crushed the crystal in his telekinetic grasp but managed to reign in his temper.
He should have known better than to trust an egotistical, moronic glory-hound like Reverberating Infamy with even the simplest of tasks.
‘Go to the town of Valley Dale and rip the desired artefact from the cold, dead hooves of its mayor. Simple, no?’
‘HOW COULD THAT IDIOT HAVE FUCKED IT UP SO BADLY?!’
Gripping the ledge of his desk, he took a breath to calm himself and tried to think rationally. Getting needlessly upset wouldn't help him get any closer to his goals.
Without any further information from Las Pegasus about their mission, he had no choice but to write off the whole endeavour as a lost cause. Something had clearly gone wrong and judging by the fact that the Regent Overlord had communicated with him, it's evident that something had gone catastrophically wrong.
He would have to have to send somepony under his employ to follow up on the incident.
Such a setback wasn't the end of the world but it would complicate his plans. The Lessor Syphon that had been in the possession of the Wind family was both the easiest to find and most vulnerable. He was aware of a few others but they all involved at least some level of risk in obtaining and he would have to retrieve it himself. His plan was too close to realisation to afford any more fuck ups by incompetent subordinates.
As he fished the thought, one of his other Trillium Crystals suddenly lit up with a bright flash. Reaching down and activating the Crystal's display, he read the message that had just been sent to him.
I've found somepony capable of carrying out the mission. I'm having her brought to me as we speak and I'm confident that I can get her to do our bidding.
We can still make the deadline.
-Duke Pale Scepter
The Crystal's owner grinned wickedly at that.
‘Where one subordinate fails, another succeeds.’
He typed out a reply.
Make whatever promises you need to but get the mission done. Our window of opportunity is closing.
Do not fail me.
-The Benefactor
The second phase of his plan was easily the most important and time-sensitive. The Wind's Lessor Syphon might be lost to him but he could always find another one at any time. The task that he had assigned to Pale Scepter was far more critical and it was pleasing that the Duke had risen to the occasion.
Equestrian nobility were notoriously fickle and difficult to work with. Even with promises of unfathomable wealth and power, it was a challenge to get them to take orders from an unknown foreigner like him. So he was glad that some of them, like Pale Scepter, had proven themselves so useful. It made the energy and effort that he had expended to sway them worth it.
Even though he still held some anxiety about the risks associated with the second phase of his plan and the potential reliability (or lack thereof) of the Duke's newfound pawn, the foundations of his plan were set and things were starting to fall into place.
Rereading a report from one of his agents in Everfree, it looked like the situation there was beginning to boil over nicely. After he had made contact with the shattered remnants of the once mighty Chaos Cults and pried their secrets out of them, he hadn't been completely sure how agitating the Everfree's chaos pockets would play out. However, he had been pleasantly surprised with the mayhem of the fallout. The forest's Chaos Magic was also delightfully self-perpetuating and soon Equestria would have their hooves too full to pay him any mind.
Luck also appeared to be on his side as factors outside of his control were going his way. Princess Luna was sent away on some long-term diplomatic errand and Princess Celestia had become bent out of sorts and reclusive for some reason.
‘A potential schism between the sisters?’
He had toyed with the idea in the past, of trying to turn the Princesses against one another. However, with one of them now out of the picture for the foreseeable future, the result was effectively identical and required no undue risk on his part. Fortune was beginning to favour him indeed.
The winds were at his back and little could stop him now. He was a few rolls of dice away from absolute victory and even then he had multiple contingencies to fall back on.
He took out several more Trillium Crystals and began firing off messages to their twin Crystals, it was time to set the wheels of his plan into motion.
He would deal with the insubordination of Las Pegasus later but right now he had eyes on a far grander prize.
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So Luna's disappearance has been covered up as a diplomatic errand huh...
I wonder how that eventual fallout will go.
Great chapter once more, a bit short, but it contains a nice bit of that sweet, succulent l o r e that we all love so much.
Please keep going!
PS: Truly sorry if I sound creepy, I never really know how to write these things.
It would never happen, but it would've been such a wonderful plot twist if some villain like this one had actually altered Celestia's diary no matter how unlikely that seems. While Celestia had indeed wrote those hurtful things, it had been exacerbated and made far worse by the nefarious addition and alteration that made it seem ten times more cruel, to make it all the more volatile.
That way Celestia's POV would be far more tragic anyway. With more bewilderment. A scene where she discovered the altered diary would go hard.
I read this story because you were kind enough to touch upon mine, and it clearly triumphs over my own writing. Lovely work so far. Keep it up.
These interludes are hit or miss for me. I enjoy some of them but not others. Though I see the necessity of all of them to tell the greater story.
I’m really enjoying this.
11854618
Which ones did you like, which did you not like and why? I'm always looking for constructive feedback.
11854610
I'm enjoying your story so far. Not enough fics on this site delve deep enough into Celestia and Luna’s relationship.
11854621
It's nothing you did wrong, just my personal preference. I tend to like the more slice of life ones like the doc loving care; or the aftermath of rain shadow. I'm less interested in political intrigue when I don't already know the players.
I'm more of a adventure and slice of life consumer than mystery.
But like I said before. You didn't do anything wrong.
Bit of refrigerator logic here cause it only just hit me as this chapter is coming out. I have no idea if anyone else has even thought of it or if they did and too lazy to go searching comments to see if so cause 4 AM as I notice the damn time. Anyway.
With Luna out cold for the foreseeable future, how long is she going to be out. Cause if it is long enough, as it likely will be, for the moon to need to rise... Well, she has still been handling her job while on the run. But Celestia will notice that immediately when Luna doesn't raise the moon. This chapter mentioned she has been in recluse but she's likely going to become far more worried if that comes to pass. Granted, with the nobles being the nobles and so many against Luna and Celestia's mind being... Who knows what state from her sister disappearing on her so. It's going to become a question of if Celestia starts to send quiet forces or just frets quietly all the more due to her cover up being an extended absence for diplomacy. She might not be the Celestia most know of with the 1000 year waiting but it is still her sister and whatever Luna wrote to her, if it was indeed Luna's letter in her chambers, had gotten to her before and this will only make it worse.
11854624
Thank you. My entire story is planned out, so I believe it benefits from that at least. Whereas my writing quality most likely holds it back. I most likely need to rewrite the first few chapters so its a better first impression, I had just wanted to get it going. It's currently in act two of three total. I do think you're semi the opposite? Where there's some planning but also the ability to do anything you want as you feel to, besides the construction of arcs of course.
Top notch job good sir
11854610
Now there’s an idea, and one that’s been used to good effect before in the context of a Fantastic Four/X-Men crossover back in the 80s (I think) where Susan Storm accidentally discovered an old diary purporting to have been written by Reed Richards and insinuating that he’d planned the whole accident that gave the FF their powers right from the beginning -- and for reasons that seemed to have made perfect sense for him, to boot. Took several issues (or in my case a complete trade paperback) to resolve the matter while also seeing the team try to cope with other pressures in the meantime, and overall it stuck in my memory because I rather liked the depiction and resolution of specifically this crisis.
That said, the story here works well enough as it is, and sometimes less of an omni-competent master villain is more. (The above diary was left by someone who didn’t particularly care about when or possibly even if it would ever go off at all because it was likely to shake up the team whenever it finally did, but here the timing would be somewhat more critical.)
Soo 10-20k words?
Ah, so the Puppet Master has shown themselves.
Overall a lovely chapter. I am tempted on becoming a beta-reader, but I feel I would focus more on reading it instead of giving it proper feedback. Also glad to get some confirmation that the Timberwolf attack was indeed intentional interference.
Can hardly wait to see Celestia's POV during the next chapter, but try not to stress or overwork yourself. Your story is doing well so far.
I came into this story expecting a slice of life following her journey on her own, didnt expect the immediate adventure. Not bad or good, just not what I was expecting. Love it so far :)
11854610
nah, that kinda sours it IMO. I would like it if the theme of this story is that it's never okay to treat those you claim to love horribly because one day they won't put up with it. Another is also to never allow people to make you less of a person while claiming its okay to do so because they love you. Another one that could be explored later is that its really hard to gain back someone's trust, but not impossible. All it takes is effort and sincerity, and its worth it for those you love. Thats a story I would like to read, and thus is why I'm still here.
Your version is just someone screwed with the bonds between family for power. Yada yada, the end. Boring.
Or even worse, that the bonds between family are not immune to subterfuge. We KNOW that. That would be such a messed up story to read. Please tell me what about that seems interesting??? How is that "wonderful"??
11854845
I mean I agree, it was just a spur of the moment thought I had. I don't think it takes full accountability away from Celestia though, because it just just added emphasis.
Ah so we have our big bad, honestly I don't know how I feel about that, with this type of story a big bad isn't really necessary, I had imagined this story as kinda a slow slice of life scenario with an antagonist who kinda shows up hear and there with some little skirmishes scattered throughout for some action, I wanna focus more on the personal side of life with moderate adventures and long travel scenes, sometimes a big bad just makes the story go faster and I don't want that, I don't know if you've read it or not but there is a book out there called Scarlet, basically it takes place in post apocalyptic Equestria when society is still very unstable, Scarlet is a veteran unicorn battle mage with extreme PTSD, she tries to live a quiet life but it's all turned upside down when a small earth pony filly named Primrose falls into her life and Scarlet discovers Primrose is being hunted by a bloodthirsty mercenary that Scarlet knew in her old soldier days, Scarlet has to battle her own personal problems and keep Primrose safe as the two travel deep into Equestria while learning bits and pieces about one another's past along the way. I was kinda hoping for something similar with this Valley Dale was attacked way to soon in the story in my opinion I was anticipating a few more stops on Luna's journey before that happened and also I expected her to be jumped along the road at some point if the big bad is going to do something this soon in the story then afterwards he needs to take a back seat for a while before we see him again otherwise the entire story would just be about him and Luna fighting basically and it won't be as interesting.
Ooh, so spooky. Anyone wanna start a betting pool of how many items from the Evil Overlord Handbook he's gonna go against before he dies?
11854903
If you are worried about the "big bad" dominating the story from here on out, then don't. We won't hear from him again until at least 2 or 3 more arcs and It will be a very long time before there is any sort of confrontation.
All that you need to know at this stage, is that there is someone in Equestria that is operating behind the scenes and that some of the decisions that they make, like hiring Las Pegasus, can have reverberating knock-on effects later in the story.
His plan won't come to much in the near future but it's something to be aware of.
A lot seems to be being set up in the last few chapters. I hope it's gonna result in all these new ocs having more to do in the story than one thing.
This comment is not correct, since what I researched was the word itself and its psychological meaning, and not its use within rebel, terrorist and insurgent organizations.
See Mr Swanky Hat’s and CrimsonS4ge’s explanations above (
Interesting. Kinda hard for me to translate this into straight normal English tho. I think I get the basic point but I can’t really explain it. Compartmentalization is a psychological thing where a person separates themselves into two personalities (as far as I can tell from the minimal research I was able to do) this is usually a defensive mechanism to keep people from getting overwhelmed by problems or to avoid accidentally doing something inappropriate. An example could be like separating work-you and home-you, these are basically two somewhat-different people in one body. A more complex example would be of a father who is a very good person at work but is actually a dead-beat at home. Or vica-versa where a father is the best dad he could ever be but he’s an asshole at work.
Research also suggests many higher-end criminals (people involved in the Mafia, maybe serial killers or mad people.) also use this strategy, be it consciously or not, and that helps them keep their family-life alive while also killing and doing a lot of things that really aren’t compatible with family. They might be brutal when at “work” but at home they are a perfect family man.
Subterfuge is just another word for deceiving or lying.
So basically, after thinking the whole thing through, I think it’s a warning to people who manipulate others for their gain, or just in general tell lies to benefit themselves even if otherwise no one is harmed. Make sure that you aren’t just saying things because at some point people will realize the stories don’t add up, and when they do realize the maths ain’t mathing then you’ll have a very bad time.
As far as the meaning of this relative to the story… I have no idea! I’ll just sit here patiently until either someone figures it out or the author confirms my definition and stuff.
11855072
Compartmenalization can also refer to how groups in an organization are kept separate from each other for purposes of secrecy. You see this in criminal or terrorist groups a lot, if one group gets discovered and captured, they don't know what other groups of the same organization are doing or even is in other groups so they can't give up any valuable information even if those captured wanted to.
I already want to see the political consequences of all this
11855084
Compartmentalization at its core is just a word for splitting things into compartments. So I just used the word in the way I thought it made most sense.
Thanks for the info tho.
Source: googling the word. Also Cambridge English Dictionary.
11855072
Criminal, terrorists and spy agencies often compartmentalise their organisation, so that no one individual can know too much and potentially jeopardise the whole organisation if they are captured or defect. The different groups don't talk to each other or know about each other.
This also means that the person(s) sitting at the top of the organisation wield an enormous amount of power since all information goes through them alone. This is what the Benefactor is doing.
Compartmentalisation also has some down sides. Primarily, that groups within the organisation can't communicate or coordinate with each other. Pale Scepter has no idea that Starry Night has already disrupted his benefactor's plan and the Benefactor now has no idea that he is unknowingly inserting a dangerous and disruptive individual, who has already foiled one of his plans, into the middle of his mater plan.
The Compartmentalisation of his plan (different ponies knowing different things and not knowing about each other) has now put his entire plan at risk.
11855099
That’s interesting. Thanks for clarifying, much appreciated and needed.
I don't care, the benefactor has Dr.Claw voice in my mind.
This is now canonical.
11854632
If Celestia received the full report of what happened in Valley Dale (and that's a big if considering the cover ups), then she might just put the two and two together between an exceptionally powerful mage with "Night" in her name and Luna's disappearance. Add the fact that the mage is unconscious and the moon not rising/lowering at the same time, Celestia could very well deduce that it's no mere coincidence.
Little does he know
11854739
Lol
I do have a habit of underestimating the word count of a chapter, but the next one is definitely not going to be a mega-chapter.
I'm a bit torn on how much of the Everfree plot line I want to explore in the next interlude. There is a lot of story left and it needs to be spaced out over a lot of other interludes.
I suppose that we will see. I'll write as much as I feel I need to. Maybe it will be long, maybe it won't.
11855026
Loving Care probably won't be a returning character.
Rain Shadow will take a back seat for now but will be important later.
Pale Scepter and the Benefactor will do their thing in the background, we will occasionally return to them.
Storm Singer and Silver Scroll will be prominent returning characters.
We will meet more important OCs in the next 5 chapters that will play central roles in the next two arcs.
A fantastic story and one I greatly enjoy reading.
So up front I want to say that I really enjoy this story, and I'm only engaging with it because of exactly that reason. I dislike undue hate as much as any other sane person so please don't think that this comes from a place of hate, only a place of confusion, or perhaps intrigue. This entire chapter feels somewhat unnecessary to me. Normally I'm just not really fond of third person omniscient perspectives in storytelling (and maybe I'm being unfair and there's a peeve of mine I need to unpack here) but in my opinion the layout of a BBEG was already established. It was clear from some of the elder Wind's dialogue that there was something else to the raid, coupled with the Las Pegasus ponies talking about pulling out of a deal, it felt pretty obvious that there was some mysterious string puller. The devastation of the raid shows that this string puller isn't a good person, and voliah, established bbeg. While this chapter does a good job of establishing the *type* of person this bad guy is without giving away too much specific motivation it seems like, at least, a shift in perspective would have been more effective. A disheveled grunt delivering news to a shaded figure and having the grunt's reaction to the bad guys actions be the catalyst for character development instead of the internal dialogue typically reserved for protagonists. Maybe, idk I'm an idiot I'm just trying to say that it kinda looked like you were writing around eggshells here.
All of this to say, I really enjoy this story and your writing style is fun to engage with. I'm not a writer myself, and I'm trying my best to frame this as purely from the perspective of a consumer of media. If you care to engage with me, I am curious as to your reasoning behind these decisions but fanfic writing is meant to be fun, so please don't take it personally.
Really loving the story so far and can’t wait for the next chapter. I’m constantly rereading the book, will there been any chapters in maybe Celestia POV or someone in the castle about Luna’s disappearance as you’ve touched on it through a 3rd Person POV so would love to see a first hand POV of the impacts and maybe Celestias reaction :)
11862500
No direct Celestia POV yet, but we will see her reactions and actions through the eyes of other characters.