After her sister's banishment, Celestia realized it was her failure that led to her sister's fall, and she vowed to build a better nation that her sister would have wanted. Here, Nightmare Moon is neither myth nor legend; everyone is taught about what truly happened to Princess Luna, and that the two are one and the same. Through her millennia of atonement, Celestia upholds her sister's visions for a better Equestria, reviving her lost legacy.
Now, at the 1000th summer sun celebration, the town of Ponyville is ready. Eager to witness the historic event, everyone's there to show their love and appreciation as they welcome the Princess of the Night's return. Would Nightmare Moon still seek retribution and bring nighttime eternal? Or would she reunite with her long-lost sister, graciously returning to her throne? It doesn't matter to Celestia. She just wants to see her sister once again.
What?! No! You can't leave it like this.
That's not the end, it's the beginning!
I want to know what happens! Please!
I truly wish to see this continued from here. the premise and build up are amazing I just hope that this reaches a satisfying conclusion!
I have so many questions...
A masterpiece in its own, but this cliffhanger is soooo annoying
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I'm surprised to see this story getting a better reception that I had expected, thank you for enjoying it! I personally would like to see this story play out more before concluding, but im not a good writer and It unironically took me like 16 hours + figuring out the narrative direction for weeks to write a measly 2500 words ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
I guess I could open this up as incomplete and write more chapters with anything on my mind. But I was afraid of making a dead fic with quality issues that stopped in the middle with no proper conclusion, or a fic that tormented readers by uploading like once in a year. If I figure out a more detailed direction for this story with a lot more spare time, I'll add more chapters to this, I promise.
this is such a good idea
Oh, that is such a nice idea behind this neat little piece of worldbuilding 😀
Positively inspiring! Well done
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I don’t think it needs to go on forever, just one or two more chapters where she reunites with Celestia would be really neat.
I'm mixed.
On the one hand, the idea of Celestia using the carrot instead of the stick upon NMM's return is intriguing, all Luna wanted was respect and praise for her dilligent, difficult work. On the other hand you've made Luna TOO perfect, too "right", narratively speaking that is. This is also more an outline than an actual story as well.
I like this. It is a great idea. You executed it well and left us wanting more.
If you don't feel like your writing skills are good enough to continue it, don't worry. They will improve, but don't be a perfectionist. If you wait until then, you'll never write it.
Just put a disclaimer on it that you're learning and experimenting and you might not finish it. I don't like to read unfinished stories, because in this medium you get disappointed when they don't get finished. If you put the disclaimer on it, you're letting people knowingly take that chance and it could be likely. Learn and most importantly have fun.
Homie really said 'skill issue.' 💀
while I like the idea, I feel like it is putting way too much blame on Celestia, and since it is not a comedy or parody, it is meant to be taken somewhat seriously. I can't agree with this.
While Luna was ignored and she did suffer, at the end she is still responsible for her own actions. To punish Celestia for everything is not right, nor justified.
To put it bluntly: Luna's actions is not justified compared to what happened to her. She didn't get enough attention and thus she went full traitor.
And if we go with the idea that Nightmare Moon is Luna being possessed, then this makes even less sense. Celestia shouldn't entertain the entity possessing Luna, nor give in to its power, but rather cleanse Luna from it.
This is a lovely fic! I too have wondered what would have happend if Celestia didn't hide Luna from history (heck, I'm currently writing a fic about that right now lol) and the way you executed the story is quite solid! It may be quite short, but in that short time you manage to concisely tell a fun narrative.
You say you have skill issues, but the quality of this story is quite high mate!
I'll be leaving a favourite and tracking the story if you ever wish to continue it
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Thanks for the feedback and encouragement! I like reading fics on this site but I really didn't expect to write one. This one was just stuck in my head for weeks so I ended up putting this thing together mostly just to clear out my mind. Never thought I'd be haunted by a pony AU idea.
I know I expected it to be difficult but it still turned out more complicated than I thought.(mfw grammarly doesn't fix all my writing problems
) But at the same time, I definitely had some fun trying to make this thing work!
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(Thank you everyone for giving my story a try!)
Oh come on! You can't just end it here! I need to see what happens next! This is a fantastic story idea and you should really consider exploring it further with a sequel. Great work on this one.
I LOVE IT!!
Are you planning a sequel? Because this has potential and its a fantastic work!
Oh I love it it's perfect.
as the world's leading nightmare moon simp i approve
The only bad part of this is THAT THERE IS NOT ENOUGH.
I
NEED
MORE!!!
THIS is how you end it!? No! There needs to be more to this! You can't just leave it all on a cliffhanger or without resolving Nightmare Moon's feelings about what's going on.
What they said. Great story, you should keep going.
Yeah does feel like there should be one more chapter, her getting explanation that she loved then her getting overwhelmed by her adorning public to the point she slowly transforms back into luna with out realising
Nightmare Moon did nothing wrong.
Fun concept but should be fleshed out more.
A bunch of people say Celestia had no choice but in all honesty if she had just done nothing actually there is an option because the night wouldn't have lasted forever weather nightmare wanted it or not you know why because regular ponies can raise the sun and the moon by themselves they don't need an alicorn to do it so it might have taken a lot but eternal night was never gonna happen, not a smart move Celestia.
Celestia has the theology of I can't have it nobody can.
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Celestia believes that if she can't have it nobody else can.
Just prior to her transformation:
Luna: "This isn't even my final form!"
Sounds like a good entrance.
Scaring the daylight out of Nightmare Moon?!
That's quite a feat! (And I should remember that line.)
Nightmare Moon: "No more cake for you!"
: "What?! You can't-"
: *breaks down in tears*
Nightmare Moon: "Also, you will watch me eating Moon Pie every morning!"
Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.
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If that is your fear don't start a new story.
Instead continue this story line by opening a separate sequel, leaving this one completed.
I would really Like to see more of this story. (like, track, [just in case] and follow)
Needs some grammatical tweaks, but an interesting premise.
Hey, if this is your first story, I'd say you're already in the top quartile for this site. Some grammar polishing and a few other revisions, and you'd really have something good. If you're feeling strapped for ideas, maybe give ChatGPT a try?
Honestly, I kind of want to see more of this, if you are so inclined.
Interesting. Kind of reminds me of a similar story, but on her return NMM showed up in front of her celebrating ponies completely emaciated and weak from the lack of everything on the moon, yet wasn't allowed to die despite the lack of food, air, and water.
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Like this person said, YOU CAN'T LEAVE US HANGING, DUDEE! PLS DON'T ABANDON THIS TO THE DEPTHS
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Oh, that's good! Take your time, dude, I can't wait for more chapters!
"Threstals" is a typo for "Thestrals".
I love this first chapter!
Have you considered a sequel at all because this could be a very interesting and unique au set up?
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Fixed!
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I'm considering adding more chapters to this, and maybe a short sequel but that's if I figure out a more detailed narrative and conclusion that's not overtly bad. I'm currently busy preparing for a work related certificate, so I don't have much time to sit down and focus my mind on writing. Progress is slow unfortunately, and I can't tell how long it's going to take.
It's fine, keep it up! I've enjoyed it
i hope the next chapter comes out soon this is amazing how celestia govern her ands her sisters nation compared to the show
Well we're back and I'm happy Celestia can take them to the Everfree castle and holds Luna down with golden chains Luna says something like so we have come back and now you will finish the job just like you always wanted Celestia looks sad and tells Luna the castle has become a monument of sorts to her and that she doesn't hate her and she has no intention of using the elements on her ever again.
I'm half expecting Celestia to just bow and say "You're right. You deserve it. Here. The country is yours." knowing that she'll quickly see the truth of the world's changes that way.
So it continue. Thank you.
She needs to find a way without words to get her to listen long enough to see things have changed and that she is considering important. Personally we never saw that in the show. Celestia was running things right to point until she decided that twilight should take over.
Keep the misunderstanding going!
Oh, this is getting really awesome. Can't wait for more. Hope Nightmare Moon soon finds out what's really going on.
Well this is off to a rocky start.
Okay, that wasn't part of the plan...
Maybe take some rest first:
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Source.
Maybe something like a formal surrender would work?
Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.
Hopefully Celestia can salvage the situation before things get even worse...
Not the most regal of landings. I'm sure she'll try to walk it off while Celly kills her with kindness.