//------------------------------// // Aftermath // Story: The Fragrance of Dark Coffee // by stillwedding //------------------------------// The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitors and the smell of coffee were the only things Celestia could focus on. Occasionally she would look up and see Twilight’s unfocused glaze and her grip on her mug which threatened to shatter into a million pieces from her tight grasp. Celestia frowned at the presence of coffee, it was an obvious indicator that Twilight was staying up. An indicator that she should have done something about the habit long ago. Selfishly, ever since the event, she couldn't bring herself to dismiss her away. So she tolerated having her whole world be enveloped with the air of the bitter brew scent as long as Twilight could accompany her through all the meetings and sorrows. Even now standing in front of her subjects in such an atrocious sight, she was glad Twilight was by her side. However, she didn’t dare say a word to her student, she knew it would be fruitless. Instead, she allowed the sight of her subjects on the hospital bed, swaying between life and death, to fill that void.  Celestia had to suppress many sobs and cries, ‘be brave for them, be brave for your country’ she would remind herself constantly every time she had to address the press, her sister, and her subjects. Eventually, she fell numb to it all, and only the aroma of Twilight’s coffee registered as she continued onto press conferences after press conferences with the same reassuring smile she practiced and perfected for years.  The world seemed to be on stand-by as they looked to Canterlot, the shining capital, fall into chaos.  Although the Changelings were banished from the city through Cadance and Shining Armor’s combined efforts, it had not been enough to heal the subdued victims of the love-leeching monsters prior to the unveiling of their queen. They were paralyzed and it was unfortunately too late for the effects of the couple’s magic to have any impact. Though there were a lot more victories that day, the fact that the event changed the lives of so many will still remain. No amount of compensation should heal them from the trauma inflicted upon them. All she had left were memories. Pathetic memories she could not stop herself from clinging onto. The wedding replayed endlessly in her mind. Over and over she thought of everything she could have done better, and more intently focused on the shortcoming of her leadership. Every new cycle that refreshed her mind surged a wave of amended shame. Shame she couldn’t help herself from dwelling in. Her actions, her words, her very being filled her to the brim with contempt. What is the point of being so powerful when you are irritatingly powerless?  She considered abdicating the throne on more than one occasion after the invasion. If things hadn’t worked out she would’ve definitely stepped down. If Luna hadn’t reassured her that things would work out she would be at such a loss.  Celestia buried her face in her hooves. Why had she even come here when she knew that seeing the victims would make her feel so much worse than she already had been feeling. Though she convinced herself it was imperative that she came and saw the victims personally to properly assess the damages, Celestia truly felt a need to fix everything much to Twilight’s dismay. Still, she had come with her. She was still by her side after everything. Celestia tried to focus on anything but her rushing mind. All she could focus on was the wretched smell of coffee and trying her best to avoid the gaze of her faithful student. She didn't want to catch her glint of disappointment any more than she already had. She touched her temple desperately keeping the images flashing through her head at bay. She desperately needed her composure to stay unwavering. Though it was threatening to crack. “Everything is going to be okay, Princess.” Twilight's voice was clear beside her, the comforting tone she knew all too well seeping through even when she had thought her student was furious at her.  She was a wreck, and Twilight was too put together. Too calm, too kind, too nice. Celestia slowly looked at Twilight, her eyes were so gentle lacking the resentment she thought was there. The resentment that should have been there. “Twilight,” she whispered, testing the sound of her own voice making sure it didn’t have the hint of the fact she was going to start breaking down. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”  Twilight gave Celestia a slight frown, unnoticeable to many, though Celestia has come to memorize every possible expression Twilight could manifest. “No, I’m sorry, I should have come to you sooner when I was more level-headed.” Twilight gave a dry chuckle, “I was really screaming ‘evil’ and hoping ponies would side with me!” Her voice was airy, no hint of resentment was there. Celestia wished there was. “No," she simply said, “I had a responsibility, and because of my lack of sensibility, everything could have fallen apart. It was my fault for not listening to you, I should at least consider the possibility before writing you off completely." Celestia had reflected back on her interaction with Twilight at the rehearsal a little more than she should have. Compared to the fact some of her subjects were hospitalized, the exchange between mentor and student should be extremely minuscule. And yet, Celestia was still hung over that very moment. They were silent for a few moments, the sound of the slow breathing of the ponies in the room and the beeping of the machines while Twilight closed her eyes to take everything in, "Princess, guilt is fickle, it's something you shouldn't have to carry completely by yourself. It is not your fault," Twilight sternly finished. "But, Twilight, truthfully, I had no reason to doubt you, you have never given me a second to doubt you yet I was too engrossed, and that monster, I shouldn't have...” her words began to blur together. She wasn’t talking like a ruler of a nation. Celestia paused, letting herself breathe in the smell of coffee. It calmed her. It grounded her. But now tears blinded her field of vision, she was crying? “I’m sorry, Twilight, truly sorry,” was all she could muster. She was pathetic. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Her apology wasn’t supposed to be like this. Canterlot wasn’t supposed to be like this. Her subjects weren't supposed to be like this. Bringing her hooves to her face to muffle the noise. She let out a sob. Celestia had felt many defeats throughout her reign, but this one felt too personal. Not only had she failed her country, but she had also failed Twilight too. And she will pay the ultimate price for both. It was honestly a miracle she hasn’t paid that price already. She wasn’t going to lose both that easily. Her faithful student bridged the fissure in their relationship with a reassuring nudge, “It wasn’t your fault, nor was it mine, or theirs. Let’s get through this together, okay?” She softly whispered and gave the princess a reassuring smile, the same one she saw Celestia used time and time again. Celestia met Twilight’s eyes, hesitating, "I just want everything to be fixed. Now. Instantly," she muttered, "I just don't know how," she confessed. 'I don't know how' used to something she would never admit to anyone. A phrase she hadn't dared utter to anyone. Not even during those deplorable press conferences. “I know, I know. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. Princess, it may seem unfathomable now, but believe me when I say that everything is going to be fixed. Eventually. It will take time though, and some funding from the Royal treasury, perhaps our own pockets too...” that prompted Celestia to give Twilight a weak chuckle, “...but I am certain we will heal from this, together. So Princess, promise me you won’t give up?” When did you grow so tall? When did you grow so wise?  She thought as she felt engulfed with an overwhelming feeling that hadn't flowed in her system in a while. Support. Dependency. Strength. “I promise,” Celestia replied with a simple smile, the only genuine smile she gave in the last three days.  Twilight offered Celestia a cup of coffee, luckily over the years they’ve known each other she remembered to add sugar and milk to it. A copious amount of both for that matter. Celestia gladly took it. She was going to need a lot of coffee to plan the repairs for the city.  A sudden thought came over her, “Twilight?” Celestia asked. Twilight perked up hearing her name, "Yes, Princess?” “We’re going to have to start pulling all-nighters. A lot of them, to set things right!” She exclaimed a spark of determination ignited inside her. Her core felt ablaze with a sense of newfound confidence and motivation. A feeling that should have stirred sooner. Twilight laughed as she remembered the times she had gotten scolded after getting caught staying up studying for exams by the Princess herself, “I thought you were against all-nighters?” Celestia smirked, “Well, we are doing this together, it would be fair we’ll be following your methods for the time being.” “Of course, Princess," she grinned. “And I am expecting the strongest cups of coffee,” Celestia added.  “Only if you make your signature pancakes,” Twilight quickly suggested, "And I know I'm kind too old... but with the fruit faces too, please?" She blurted out, "Actually, you don't have to, I was just joking-!" Twilight's ramble was cut off with a giggle from Celestia, “Sure, my faithful student. Anything you wish," she whispered. Twilight immediately whelmed with joy at the prospect. Her face swirled with glee, Celestia couldn't help herself to feel oddly happy too, her expression would be something she would remember. Perhaps she could schedule a time with the Royal Painter to capture this moment all over again. Though she knew it wouldn't be the same as how it was in the moment. Nothing will ever truly beat or compare to the fleeting time she spends with her student. Feeling the cracks starting to heal, Celestia decided that she can look a little braver for a while longer as the two walked out of the hospital and entered Luna’s night to start their hopeful conquest.