The alicorn felt the afternoon sun shine warmly upon her back. The wind blew through the valley with a cool, but not chilling breeze. The lush blanket of green grass underneath the midnight blue mare felt soft and velvety, as though she could fall asleep upon it.
That wouldn't be such a bad idea, Luna thought. She could certainly think of worse ways to spend her newly found liberty, than by taking an afternoon nap. Yet, she wasn't quite ready to fall asleep yet. She was still too busy basking in the sights, sounds and ambience of the peaceful meadow that she found near a small creek.
It was beautiful and reminded her greatly of the places that Starswirl used to bring her and Celestia to when they were still fillies. The colours of the valley were so much more vibrant than the sea of dark green trees that was the Everfree forest. The sight of the foreboding and impenetrable canopy had become such a common and enduring aspect of her life for so long that she had almost forgotten that such beauty could exist in nature.
It all sounded so very poetic in Luna’s mind, to the point where it almost seemed cliche. Yet, she couldn't escape the urge to pull out a notebook and write about all that she saw and felt in that moment. An old habit from her youth. It was therefore an indescribable pity to her that, while Starswirl’s caravan had been enchanted to withstand the elements, the literature and writing material inside had not been.
The former Princess made a mental note to purchase a blank book, quills and ink in the next town that she came across. With the gold and jewellery that she had taken from her personal vault, along with a few valuable trinkets that she had removed from the ruins of her old home, it would be quite some time before Luna would have any trouble with her finances.
She had even gone through the trouble of selecting only nondescript and plain jewellery to bring with her. Nothing that could be traced back to Princess Luna or would be overly suspicious for a travelling Mage to be carrying. A few simple visual illusions should be enough to keep her from being recognised. At some point she would have to enchant her cloak with permanent, illusionary enchantments, but that would be incredibly time-consuming and she had faith in her ability to maintain a simple disguise spell until then.
Luna sighed as rolled to lay on her side. The soft grass feeling cool against her coat.
She had been doing a lot of thinking since she had started her journey. Mostly about what she would make of her new life. On the surface it seemed like everything she wanted, everything that she yearned for, but a cold spike of guilt stabbed at her every time she stopped to consider her choices for too long.
The former Princess knew perfectly well her reasons for why she had left. She knew rationally that many of them were justified, but at the same time it felt like a violation of the principles and personal philosophy that she upheld for so long.
It was selfish. Luna wouldn't delude herself into thinking it was anything else. She had abandoned her duties and responsibilities, because she felt that she could find greater happiness and personal gratification elsewhere.
Yet, after spending countless decades in thankless service to ponies that held nothing, but disdain for her and sacrificing almost everything of who she once was on the altar of the royal throne. Was she not entitled to be selfish, at least this once?
It felt wrong, but Luna couldn’t see any other choice that she could have made. She had been spiralling down an abyss that would have inevitably ended in tragedy. If she had stayed, she probably would have eventually ended up killing Celestia or herself. Only the belief that her sister truly and dearly loved her had kept Luna able to endure for so long.
She thought that her sister and her kingdom needed her and that, while they might not outwardly display their gratitude, she would always occupy a place close to their hearts.
It was a naive hope in retrospect, but in the absence of purpose or validation, even the most elusive desert mirage of hope was worth the pursuit.
The diary had been her final breaking point. The moment she had finally woken up from her dream-walking slumber and saw her reality and her life for what it was.
Not whatever fanciful delusion she had created in the naive hope that her suffering and sacrifice would have meaning and would actively better the lives of the ponies around her. Borne out of whatever sick, twisted, self-imposed sense of martyrdom that served as her coping mechanism for so long.
Luna couldn't stay. She was certain of that now. She wanted to help ponies. That's all she had ever wanted. Ever since the alicorn was a filly, she wanted to spare the world from the destruction and evil that she had witnessed at High Hoof. She thought that by wielding the power of the crown, she could make Equestria a better place. Instead she had gotten bogged down in a quagmire of bureaucracy and corruption thick and deep enough to drown in, while her life slowly crumbled around her hooves.
As a Princess her passion, empathy and honesty were considered liabilities in the great game of ever-shifting politics and court intrigue.
Now there was nothing in her way. Luna wouldn't wait for permission to help others. Not now. Not anymore.
She would be her own hero and forge her own destiny.
Luna was done apologising for who she was.
Perhaps what was written in her sister’s diary was hyperbole or not sincere to how she actually felt, but Luna was no longer going to give Celestia’s love for her the benefit of the doubt. This breaking point had been a long time coming and was the culmination of events far beyond the hurtful words written in one book.
Her sister could manage the kingdom well enough on her own. For so long their destinies had been intertwined into a single unified purpose for common good of all of ponykind, but perhaps for the first time in almost hundred and thirty years they were better off going their separate ways. For better or for worse, the legend of the Two Sisters would end and Luna would build her own legacy alone.
As a travelling Mage, she could do just that. Years ago during the days of the College of Sorcery, young aspiring unicorns would embark on their Journeyman travels to help ponies in need, build their legacy and renown and eventually earn entry into the ranks of the Masters of the College. The College might be dead now and her journey promised no rewards of glory or prestige, but that didn't concern Luna. She would be able to help those that needed it the most and fight evil wherever she may find it. That was enough for her.
With her internal turmoil once again settled, Luna stood up from where she lay and prepared to leave. She was eager to reach her first town on her journey.
She didn't fool herself into thinking that the first settlement she came across would be besieged by bandits or haunted by an evil curse and she could immediately indulge in heroics. When she had travelled with Starswirl and her sister so long ago, the vast majority of their visits to towns and villages were quite uneventful. Most likely she would, at most, drive off a few local predators or heal a sick villager. Perhaps she would just entertain the local foals with a few magic tricks.
That would probably be for the best. She was very, very, very out of practice and would likely need a bit of time to regain her stride. Better to build momentum slowly. All heroes need to start somewhere after all.
As Luna strapped the harness to herself and prepared to leave the small meadow, she saw faint wafts of chimney smoke just beyond the hills on the far side of the valley.