Princess Celestia lives in a huge castle. This castle needs to be maintained. To do this, and many other duties, Celestia has a a number of maids in her employment who handle everything from cleaning to the cooking.

Now, a new maid has come to apply to work in the castle. But Celestia can't shake the feeling that something is off about this mare.

... It's got to be the french maid outfit. Totally!

Let us follow the Canterlot Castle maids in their work environment, and let the hijinxs ensue!

We all know how this goes, don't we? Some unlucky schmuck goes to a Halloween party or convention dressed up as someone evil, gets sent to Equestria, and then ends up antagonizing the locals.

Well my story goes a bit differently. My name is Isaac Donohue, and after a night of drunken partying that I STILL can't remember, I wake up in Equestria fifteen hundred years before the events of canon with five seemingly random superpowers:

Angelic Physiology, so I'm frickin gorgeous now. Oxygen Independence, so I don't need to breath. Asexual Reproduction, just call me Mister Mommy why don't you...Bubble Breath, something useless that I rarely use. Power Replication, otherwise known as a game breaker.

So anyways I befriended everyone's favorite draconequus Discord, and we made such beautiful chaos together. Well, it was more of me trying to reform him before he got stoned by the Princesses in an effort to change history for the better. What a waste of time that was, and as a result of this I got petrified as well for being his accomplice. Can you believe that?

Since I'm free, I've decided to settle down and rule a kingdom of my own. I'm sure there are enough tyrants in the world that need to be overthrown despite Sunbutt's best efforts. But if there aren't any, I'm pretty sure I can steal the Crystal Empire from Sombra before Shining Armor and Cadence do.

The only problem is, THE LAW WON'T STOP CHASING ME!

A LoHAV story that I'm writing as I go on.

ANNOUNCEMENT 6/4/2017: I'm sorry, but this story is cancelled. This has been a long time coming. As I've progressed as a writer I look back on this story with increasing amounts of disgust. Still, I know people enjoy it for some reason which is why I'm leaving it up for posterity's sake. Maybe I'll completely rewrite it from the ground up in the future, but that time is not now.

Equestria didn't know what to expect. The Griffin nation had grown tired of politics. They wanted land and they wanted it yesterday. The Diamond Dogs were tired of being cut off from the prosperous wealth Equestria had to provide. Even a few ambitious dragons felt they wanted in on the action. With enemies on all sides and the arrival of war becoming inevitable, Princess Celestia decided she needed to use the elements of harmony to summon a hero.
They got me, and boy are they in for it.

Note: This is my first story ever. So I would really appreciate constructive criticism on both story and grammar.

Hi my name is Soul.
Don't ask about my name.
Anyway, let's get to the point. I saved Celestia and she wanted to thank me in return. Without my permission of course.
This lead to scare her ponies... This led to a lie, that I didn't liked.
They calmed down after hearing it. Because why would Celestia pet hurt them?
I don't know how long I can keep this up.

"Six will rise, but one will fall. Evil returns to rule them all. If his actions do not desist, then this land shall cease to exist." - Unknown

This is the first line of the prophecy that will determine the fate of not only Equestria, but Equus as a whole. It really is a shame no-one learns about this, until the arrival of SPARTAN-A239.

As dark forces work in the sidelines and our hero scrambles to get a feel for his surroundings, someone out there is pulling all the strings.

And that someone has a very special plan for one of Equestria's future saviors.

I just wanna say to all who read/follow me, thank YOU for giving me and my story a chance. While I cannot express my gratitude with words, I figured out a more practical way of saying thank you.

FREE VIRTUAL COOKIES FOR EVERYBODY!

P.S Featured on 11/17/14.
But, but how? HOW?! I think I'm gonna faint...

Early twentieth century strongman Arthur Saxon is summoned to Equestria to save the country from Tirek's return.

Exactly what it says on the tin. Not much else to be said.

This story is a sequel to Princess Celestia is in your bed.

It's hard to get rid of a sun goddess when she doesn't want to be gotten rid of.

Reading the prequel is highly recommended. Find Chapter 3 here!
Rated teen for mild language.
Now with audio reading by MelancholyIguana
Cover art by SilFoe.

This story is a sequel to When the Man Comes Around

The sixth story in The Journey of Graves.

Spring has come and gone, Graves remains in Ponyville, and for once, all is well. No monsters to slay, no damsels to rescue, nothing: just nice, relaxing days passing in easy leisure. Or, at least as relaxing as Ponyville ever gets. A collection of short stories, the marshal takes a break from fighting and learns a little more about his friends and neighbors, one lazy summer day at a time.

This story is a sequel to When the Man Comes Around

The fifth story in The Journey of Graves.

A week has passed since the ill-fated events in Rarity's boutique. The encounter has left a deep impression on Graves as he grows colder and more distant than ever before. Rarity, feeling responsible, wants desperately to make amends, but the multitude of fears and worries plaguing her have made this next to impossible. Even with the help of their friends, it's going to take a miracle to untangle this knot.

This story is a sequel to When the Man Comes Around

The fourth story in The Journey of Graves.

After their little trolling adventure, Sweetie Belle has decided that Graves would make a great big brother. Of course adoption's out of the question (after all, parents always say no), so that just means the Cutie Mark Crusaders will have to get creative.

Meanwhile, Rarity has taken an interest in Graves for completely different reasons. Just what does the prettiest girl in Ponyville see in the gruff, stern faced soldier? He has no idea and frankly, isn't sure he wants to find out.