Welcome to Ponyville - Part Two
Welcome to Sugarcube Corner
Cadence approached the bakery; Emile following closely behind her. The shop's sign said welcome, but Emile could not help but feel put-off by it all. It could be his sociopathic tendencies at fault; his distrust of anyone other than his fellow SPARTANs were probably acting up again. Or it could be because the building simply looked too outlandish and unusual. His mind gave him a multitude of reasons why he should be on guard at this point, yet his logic erased those reasons in a heartbeat.
Emile took a double take, replaying what he had just conjured in his head. Did he really just felt threatened by a gingerbread house lookalike?
"This place is getting to me."
Emile chastised his growing anxiety; he was beginning to sound more akin to a marine greener than grass than an actual SPARTAN. If his team was here, they would've both reassured and berated him for such behavior. They were good guys like that.
Sadly, they were most probably all dead. And unlike Emile, they were - most likely - going to stay dead. Good God, he missed all of them. Even Jorge.
...
...
...
"Fuck, this place really is getting to me"
The question of today was, where was this paranoia coming from? Everything screamed sunshines and rainbows and happy fun times; it made him sick to the core. There were no traps, no ambushes, no objective, nothing. For once, there weren't even any Covenant to deal with. As of right now, nothing could possibly be dangerous to his health.
Except the wildlife. And the all-powerful princesses that see him as a matter of national security. And The Pink One That Shall Not Be Named; who, in fact, was one of the main factors of his capture and imprisonment.
Maybe keeping an eye out for danger at all times isn't such a bad idea.
They both entered the building; Emile's floating pink prison once again squeezing through the doorway with ease. It seemed like a slow day for Sugarcube Corner; there was not a single customer in sight. In fact, the place would've seemed empty if it weren't for the clattering of pots and pans and the sound of voices in the back room.
Cadence approached the empty counter and rung the bell for service.
"Hello? Is anypony here?" She asked no one in particular.
"Back the fuck up, did she say anypony?"
There were no responses, other than the clattering of cutlery continuing its noise. Cadence rung the bell again, just in case no one heard.
"We'll be right there in just a moment, dear! CARROT! WHAT DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHEN I SAID HOLD THE THING STILL?!"
Emile could only flinch at the volume of the voice. If every single pony he meets in the future were this loud, then he can kiss his eardrums goodbye.
More shouting could be heard from the kitchen; intensifying in volume as two voices argued back and forth. It took a while before the doors swung open; revealing a blue Earth pony covered in flour and other ingredients used in baked goods. She was short and pudgy, complete with pink hair. She looked worse for wear; her body language and the bags under her eyes say so.
"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner." She announced in a monotone voice. "How may I-"
She didn't even get to finish her introduction. It seems that she had just realized that the pony standing right in front of her counter was none other than Princess Cadence; ruler of the Crystal Empire. Sugarcube Corner has been graced by the presence of a royal, and she was woefully unprepared for her arrival.
The mare darted back into the kitchen, this time talking in hushed tones with another unknown individual. Minutes had passed before she came out of those doors again. This time, she was accompanied by a tall and lanky yellow stallion. Somehow, they had cleaned themselves of any traces of flour on them; leaving them squeaky clean, and at a short timeframe too. They had smiles on their faces, but they were obviously very nervous. Both were practically sweating up a storm.
"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!" The blue mare announced again; this time in a more cheerful voice. "This is my husband, Carrot Cake." She motioned her hoof towards the lanky stallion. "And I'm Cup Cake. How may we help you today?"
Both flashed a smile, but the beads of sweat running down their faces betrayed them. They were incredibly itimidated by the authorative figure; acting as if the princess would order their execution the moment they make a mistake. Some would say they were overreacting; none of the princesses had ever ordered out an execution in centuries. The Cakes, however, can never be too careful.
"Erm... this seems like a bad time." Cadence said, craning her neck to see past the Cakes. She could see that the entire kitchen was in disarray; flour, pots and pans littering its floors. A giant cake stood smack centre of it all; confirming Cadence's suspicions. The Cakes were working on something, probably for an important event. "I think I'll come back later. When you aren't busy with things."
"NO!" Cup shrieked. Shunning a princess from their bakery? Never! No one has left the bakery unsatisfied ever since Sugarcube Corner's grand opening, and Tartarus can freeze over before that ever happens!
She looked up, only to realise that everyone's eyes were on her. Her outburst had caught everyone's attention, much to her dismay.
"Ahem, I mean, we aren't busy today! It's not like we can't serve customers while baking a cake, right Carrot?"
She turned to her husband, only to find him dozing off; probably because of exhaustion. She nudged her elbow at him, gently reminding him that he was in the presence of a royal.
"...huh, what now?" Carrot jolted awake, slightly groggy from his rude awakening. " I mean, yep! Sure thing. Whatever you say dear."
For a moment, Cup turned to her husband with an unamused expression. This expression, however, went away as soon as she reminded herself of her current situation.
"Erm... okay then. Those cookies over ther-" Cadence started.
In an instant, Cup zoomed off and returned with a fresh batch of cookies in hoof.
"Oh! Alright then. Um... what about a mango mil-"
In a similar fashion, Carrot appeared with a mango milkshake; moving at a seemingly impossible speed to grab said milkshake.
"Uh... okay. I think that will be all." She stated. "May I ask, what's the cake for? You seem to be awfully busy with it."
"Oh, that? We're just working on a birthday cake, that's all. This place is reserved for a birthday party this afternoon. Normally we'd have Pinkie to help us, but she's helped us so much the past few weeks that we thought that it's best if she had a day off today, right Carrot?"
She turned to her husband, only to find him dozing off again. She elbowed him; much harder this time.
"...eh, what? Oh yeah, right. She said that she's going to hang out with that Discord fellow, then she was going to the The Castle of the Two Sisters, something about testing the organ there or something."
Cadence nodded in understanding. "Okay, I guess this all I want right now, so- oh wait! I completely forgot! Emile, did you want anything?"
Cup could only look at her with confusion.
"I'm sorry, princess, but who exactly are you talking to?"
Cadence moved the pink orb containing him; placing him beside her. It seems that the Cakes had been so focused on Cadence, they had completely missed the fact that there was a giant metal thing behind her.
"Oh my..." Cup could only stare in fear. She was unsure how to act, but Cadence seems to have the situation under control. After all, it was trapped. Still, its presence warranted a feeling of unease; the air that surrounded it just seemed... off.
"Would you... like something... sir?" She stuttered.
Emile's lack of a response only added to the tension. The Cakes were downright frightened; their knees were wobbling uncontrollably, ready to buckle underneath them at any second.
"He'll have what I have, thanks." Cadence quickly intervened.
The Cakes sighed with relief. They grabbed another set of Cadence's order and placed both orders on the counter. Cadence payed for it, then went to an empty table in the far corner of the bakery; Emile and the baked goods following closely behind. She sat down the table, while Emile simply sat down in his prison. She levitated the plate of cookies and milkshake to him; the baked goods phasing throuh the bubble. Emile could only stare at it levitating goods blankly.
"Well, aren't you going to eat it?" Cadence asked.
Emile continued to stare. Cadence worried whether he heard her or not, before he answered.
"If this is some sort of trick, I swear-"
"No, no tricks. I just thought you were hungry. You have to eat sometime, don't you?" she reassured.
Emile continued to deadpan her. Cadence began to think that the extended pauses were going to be a habit.
Emile was not confident whether to trust her or not, but really, he did not have a choice. He distrusted these ponies with all his heart, and while SPARTANs were able to go for weeks without food or water, it did not mean that such experiences were pleasant. He was a bit hungry after all; he could use the extra energy.
With a heavy sigh, Emile slowly placed both of his hands on the side of his helmet and unclasped it. A small hiss came out; signalling that the helmet was ready to be taken off. With a deliberate slowness, he took off his helmet, revealing his face.
It was Cadence's turn to stare at him. He had a shorter muzzle compared to poniess, a dark skin tone, green eyes and a cropped mane; almost to the point of completely shaven-off. His facial expressions seems to be stuck on "scowl" at all times. However, none of those were Emile's most notable features. Scars, and lots of it, adorned his face. Some were small and could go unnoticed, others were unnervingly large; running across his face. He grabbed the cookies and gingerly started eating.
"Is there something on my face or what?"
It seems Cadence had been observing him for a while now. She looked away, flustered.
"Sorry, it just that..."
"You wanted to know how I got my scars." he finished. Cadence meekly nodded.
Emile just shrugged. "Line of work."
As they ate their snacks, the Cakes began to set up decorations for the birthday party they had mentioned. Once in a while, they would look in Cadence's direction. They would smile warmly at her, while they would look at Emile with an expression of fear and uncertainty.
It did not take long for both to finish their snacks. As soon as they had finished, Emile quickly put on his helmet again. Cadence felt sorry for him; she had noticed the reactions that the public had been giving him. They were nice and were normally accepting of strangers, they just needed to know him better.
"I'm sorry, I know these ponies have been looking at you weird lately and-"
"Don't patronize me." Emile spat. "The last thing I need right now is your pity."
Cadence flinched. Apologizing is out of the question, then. She decided that the best course of action as of now was to keep asking him questions. She was, however, interrupted. Said interruption came in the form of a torrent of colts and fillies entering the bakery.
"Hey guys!" Carrot exclaimed. "Pinkie isn't here, but don't worry! We have a very special pony that's going to be here today! I'm just going to grab the food and the cake, so just hold on to your hooves, 'kay?"
The little ones didn't even notice him, they were much too hyped for the party to listen.
Carrot gave them all a smile. He returned to the kitchen, but behind his cheerful demeanour was a very stressed out baker. Once again, he started sweating profusely.
"Oh Celestia, where is that freaky clown pony when you need him?!"
As the fillies and colts waited patiently, one of them noticed something. Particularly a pink alicorn princess.
"Hey guys, look! It's Princess Cadence!"
All eyes turned to her. The tension in the air was thick as the fillies and colts slowly comprehended her presence. It wasn't long before a chorus of statements came out.
"She's here? Is she the special pony for the party?"
"I knew it! Told you a princess would come!"
"Dude, I bet you can't stick an entire hoof in your mouth."
"Oh yeah? You're on!"
Cadence could only smile at the spectacle in front of her, Emile on the other hand scoffed at their behavior. Both thought the same thing.
"Kids"
Cadence approached them, and instantly she was bombarded with questions by the mob of foals. Emile watched with disinterest as Cadence patiently sated their curiosity.
As he observed, he noticed three fillies break away from the group. All three approached him cautiously; he pretended he didn't notice them.
"What... is it?" the white unicorn asked anxiously.
"Ah don't know, but I saw it talking to Cadence earlier. It's face is pretty creepy." The one with a ridiculously large bow on her head answered.
"Gee, that's a nice thing to say to someone you meet."
"Naw, I think it looks cool." The pegasus with the fuchsia colored mane interjected. "Terrifying, yet radical."
Emile could do nothing but smile from that.
"Should we say something?"
"Have ya been hit on the noggin with a frying pan lately? What if it goes all psycho on us?"
"I don't know, it seems harmless enough. Besides, doesn't Cadence practically have this thing on a leash?"
"I can hear you."
All three jumped back in surprise. They looked around for the source of the voice, only to turn in Emile's direction. They looked at him with a mixed expression of surprise and confusion.
"Are you... talking to us?"
Emile rolled his eyes. Were these three actually serious?
"Yes, I'm talking to you. Now what do you want?" He asked indifferently.
The three fillies looked back, only to find the group they were part of still crowding around Cadence. They did not expect for it to speak, much less acknowledge their presence.
"Hey mister! Are you an alien?" The pegasus asked bluntly.
It was Emile's turn to jump back in surprise; metaphorically speaking. He half-expected the three to bolt as soon as he spoke.
"They are probably very brave or very stupid. Maybe both."
"Yeah, you could say that."
Again, Emile expected them to look at him in horror; just like the civilians back home. Instead, they looked at him with awe.
"That is so cool!" The white unicorn exclaimed. "Wait, if you're an alien, what's your Cutie Mark?"
For what he believed was for the hundredth time that day, Emile stared blankly.
"Cutie what now?"
"You know, Cutie Mark? Mark of yer destiny, it comes up when ya find yer special talent, all that jazz?"
Emile was scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. What the hell were they talking about?
"Cutie Mark, Cutie Mark..." he thought about these two words extremely hard whilst rubbing his chin. These three mentioned a mark that these ponies earned somewhere in there life, so it must be so-
The realization hit him like a wrecking ball.
Cutie Mark
"You call that-" he pointed at the image on Cadence's flank. "-a Cutie Mark?!"
"Well, yeah! Don't you have one?"
"What? No!" Emile yelled incredulously. These ponies receive some sort of mark of significance in their life, and they have the audacity to call it a "Cutie Mark"?!
"These ponies need serious help in naming things."
Emile exited his thoughts and turned to the three. They had a facial expression that was akin to that of a child who had just been told that Santa Claus didn't exist. Seems like his answer has had more of an effect than he had originally imagined.
"Whaddaya mean ya do-"
Cadence rushed in, cutting them short.
"It's been fun guys, and I had fun too! But I have to go now, I have some very important princess business to take care of. Sorry."
A collective "awww" rang out, putting Cadence on the guilty feels chair. She hated seeing crestfallen ponies; she needed something to change the mood.
"Hey look, the cake's ready!"
Welp, that was easy. Carrot had presented the cake just in the nick of time. Another pony followed him, and by God it was the scariest, most terrifying sight Emile had ever seen in his life. It was something that would make hardened veterans flee in terror, something that would horrify the monstrous Hunters, something that would make the legendary SPARTANs think twice about facing it. This monster could only be named in two, measly words.
A clown.
"Who wants to play pin the tail on the donkey?"
A deafening chorus of cheers was their response. Luckily for Emile's sanity, he and Cadence had already begun their leave. Unbeknownst to him, three fillies planned their next move.
"Didja hear 'im girls, he doesn't have a Cutie Mark!"
"Do you think..."
"Sweetie, it's an alien. If we can help it find its Cutie Mark, then it definitely has to be our special talent!"
"What, helping others find theirs?"
"Well, yeah. Besides, it won't hurt to try."
"Does that mean we gonna hafta let it join us?"
All three looked at each other. Slowly, but surely, a grin made its way to their faces; rivalling that of Pinkie Pie's. They thought and said the same thing; a testament of their like-mindedness. They nodded in confirmation and yelled at the top of their lungs.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, ALIEN HELPERS! YAY!"
"We're here."
Emile snapped to attention. Both have been travelling through the Everfree Forest, as these ponies call it. Nightime had fallen; only the glow of Cadence's horn as their source of illumination. Cadence deduced that if this, "Pinkie Pie", was in this so-called "Castle of the Two Sisters", then this "Twilight Sparkle" must be with her, along with the other "Elements of Harmony".
Never before had Emile used so many air quotes in one sentence.
Thet have arrived at their destination; a rickety old castle. Its tattered tapestries hinted its original glory, but now only serve as reminders of an older time. Debris were scattered everywhere; littering the castle grounds. This place must have been magnificent once, but now it was nothing but ruins.
From afar, it would seem that the place was devoid of life. Far from it, actually. Cadence and Emile can both hear the chatter of voices while inside. They followed the source, intent to find the speaker. Well, Cadence was anyway. Emile just wanted to get it over with.
They stopped in front of a large double door. The voices were much clearer now; the individuals in the room seem to be idly chatting with one another. Cadence pushed the doors, entering the room.
It was a library of sorts; dusty books were lined along the walls and on the floor. Among it all, six ponies of different colors turned to Cadence. A purple one with wings and a horn looked overjoyed.
"Cadence!"
Both ran and gave each other an almighty hug. Before Emile was given a chance to be disgusted at the sign of affection, both mares did something unexpected.
"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"
Emile blinked.
"What the fuck did I just witness?"
As all seven conversed, Emile observed quietly. He could not hear what they say as they talked in hushed tones, but he kept a close eye anyway.
The first one he noticed was the pink one with poofy hair. His eyed widened with realization; rage washing over him. However, he kept his emotions in check. In due time, he will have his revenge. All he needed to do was plan and wait. She'll get what's coming to her.
The next was the purple one. He overheard that she used to be Princess Celestia's personal protégé; a gifted student who surpassed her teacher. She was also supposed to be incredibly smart and a keen learner.
Then there was the rainbow. Once in a while, she would shoot him dirty looks. Emile shot some back. Clearly this one didn't like him. If the incredulous shouts of "what in the name of gravy is he doing here?!" wasn't a sign of hostility, then what was?
Next in line was the white unicorn. She looked reminiscent of the filly he met earlier in the bakery; the only difference was she was far more elegant in her movement and she had curly, purple hair. She also had a distinctive accent.
Blondie was next. She had an orange coat and for some reason a Stetson on her head. She also spoke in an accent, but it was completely different from the unicorn's. It sounded akin to that of a country farmer. Like the rainbow, she would give him a look. Unlike the rainbow, it was less glare, more suspicion.
Finally there was the coward. She had been hiding behind a chair this entire time, avoiding eye-contact with him at all costs. She was shaking in fear; every time she would peek out and look at him, she would squeak and hide again.
It wasn't long before all seven approached him.
"Great, more introductions."
"Emile, I'd like you to meet the Elements of Harmony." She motioned her hoof to the rest of the group.
"This is Fluttershy; Element of Kindness, Pinkie Pie; Element of Laughter, Rarity; Element of Generosity, Applejack; Element of Honesty, Rainbow Dash; the Element of Loyalty and Twilight Sparkle; Element of Magic. Did you get all of that?"
"Doormat, Lunatic, Snob, Inbred Hick, Skittles and Egghead. Should be easy enough to remember. And what is it with these weird titles?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Under orders of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, you are hereby decreed to stay in custody of the Elements of Harmony until further notice. You will be both studied and accepted as their own. You will be kept under watch at all times. Do you understand?"
"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Stay with ponies, kept under watch, blah blah blah..."
Emile's consciousness kicked in; the horror of the situation was beginning to unfold. He was going to live with ponies, for God knows how long, and studied like some sort of lab rat. And that's not even the worst part. During his stay here, unless he keeps up his scary demeanour, these ponies will - most likely - attempt to become his friend.
This was much worse than he could have possibly imagined. He had sealed his fate, and now he was frozen in shock. His mind, however, told a different story.
"No!"
"We have an extraterrestrial roomie? Awesome! We'll be friends, hold slumber parties..." Pinkie went on and on of the horrors Emile will inevitably face. Every passing second was hell; Emile wasn't sure he could last any longer.
"No, God please no!"
"Twilight, are you sure you can handle this?" Cadence asked.
"I'm sure I can handle it." Twilight reassured.
"And-" Rainbow interjected "-she's got us to back her up. Don't worry Cadence, if he becomes a problem, we can take him on. Just like we always do, eh Twi?"
"No! NO!"
Twilight was practically beaming after hearing that. Slowly, she made her way to Rainbow Dash and gave her an almighty bear-hug.
"Thanks guys. I'm so lucky to have all of you."
"Yay! GROUP HUG!" Pinkie exclaimed. In an unnatural manner, she grabbed all six ponies in one fell swoop and wrapped them all in a massive group hug. As they all shared a moment of friendship, Twilight glanced at Emile. He had remained motionless ever since Cadence had announced he was staying with them for her to study. She knew how humans acted and reacted during certain situations, so she was baffled to see him not react at all.
"He's taking it well."
Unbeknownst to her, Emile was far from stoic. Deep inside his complex mind, was a mini-him. This figure Emile had conjured in his head represented his consciousness. Right now, mini-Emile dropped to his knees and shook his fists at the sky; his wails of anguish could be heard from the heavens above.
"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Will Emile triumph in this ordeal, or will the ponies wear him down, enough for him to consider them - dare he say it - friend? Find out later in the next segment of this fic that I will so originally call...
Emile VS The Magic of Friendship!
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not sure if i should laugh or feel sorry for emile
Took you long enough. XD
Thanks for that great Christmas present, and here. I got you this: thechive.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/meme-gift-wrapping-present-14.jpg
It's a picture! Yaaaaaaaay! :P
Okay, I'm done. And Emile, see you in hell.
Wait, you're already there.
HE POST A CHAPTER, THIS DAY IS GLORIOUS
And emile reaction:
This goes against the Geneva Convention, exposing someone who has been surrounded by death on the battlefield most of their lives to sunshine, rainbows and pinkie pie is beyond words.
Please have mercy and allow him to keep a dead clown or two in the closet, or murderous play session with Pinkamina.
5403956 The torture shall continue, and it shall only grow worse. Muahaha.... HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Heh... hehe....he.
Is the story, "The Chase?" it's a big ass story.
I thought you said you were gonna be on vacation for 3 months. Time must go by faster in Equestria.
5404925 Well I thought I was going to go missing in action for I while, but turns out I won't have to! Besides, why would I go on vacation and take a break if I already love my job?
5404244 Nope. Take a close look at the footnote of this fic. If you still don't get it, the fic I was referring to has a gut-busting comedy, an unusual romance and vengeance of epic proportions.
5406244 sounds intriguing. I must know this fic. Tell me, oh wise one!
5406310 One last clue.
Lately, I've been inspired by a short man with an even shorter temper. He has a friend who is practically a bottomless pit and his friend's wife is a top secret agent who's terrible at keeping secrets. And what do you get when you mix all of them with Pinkie Pie?
You get the Wheel and the Butterfly.
5406182 To go to Pinkie's party?
5406551 Silly Alpha. Pinkie's parties are legendary, but that doesn't beat the feeling of writing for you guys! Why would I stop now?
5406716 You don't have to. It's your choice. So I'm predicting Emile will go on a rampage in Ponyville. Please don't change his personality and make him start being nice to everyone. Are you somehow going to bring the rest of Noble Team in this story?
5406834 Only time will tell. And yeah, it is my choice. And I choose this. It treat this not as a chore, but as a much-loved hobby.
Oh, and I think Emile is much smarter than that to just go on a blind rampage. He did get his ass whooped by a princess; imagine the trouble he'll face with two. But no, of course I won't change his personality to make him all mushy-gushy. He is Emile after all.
Actually I do know how fiddly tablets are because I'm reading this on one.
I am the 117 like.
I can't wait for the next chapter.
5442578 Aaayyyy
Dear god, you're doing this on purpose. Genius, but I can't say I'm a fan of what you're doing to poor Emile. Fic is starting to grow a little on me the more I read it. It's a little different from what I'm used to, though, but I can only hope that Emile starts to get a little respect. Eh, I'll just read the story.
5472573 Another loyal subject earned. Goddamn, I'm good.
Thank you. Your input has been most helpful.
~ Wolfram Alpha
5406244 is it DoaM?
I will read one more chapter. I'm severely disappointed in this story, so the next chapter will decide whether I continue reading or not.
*Facepalm* Humans and most other species don't get Cutie Marks, then again the CMC don't know that.
5472573
your orange text is giving me a brain hemorrhage