Welcome to Ponyville - Part One
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"NO."
"Pretty please with a chimi-cherry-changa on top?"
"..."
"No."
Discord walked along the path with the energetic Pinkie Pie, contemplating how exactly he was roped into this situation. He wasn't exactly very grumpy of the situation, it's just that he had so many better things to do. Take his cotton candy clouds for example. Those poor things needed a chocolate refill. But alas, poor Discord had been coaxed by Fluttershy to spend some time with her friends. Get to know them, have some fun, all that jazz.
In all seriousness, he would've much preferred it if he was turned into stone again.
But, this was Fluttershy we were talking about here. Sweet, innocent and frail Fluttershy. There was no way he was going to let down his new friend, much less her. It would break her poor heart into millions of itty-bitty pieces; something Discord really did not want to see. In the end, he reluctantly said yes.
Over the days he's been spending time with the rest of the Elements of Harmony. Initially he believed that spending a day with Rainbow Dash was going to be the longest day of his life. That was, of course, before he discovered her love of pranking. She even had the audacity to challenge him in a prank-off. Him, the god of Chaos! Of course he was going to accept. Together, they spent the day participating in a number of harmless yet funny pranks in an attempt to outdo each other. They ended the day with her as winner; something Discord found extremely hard to believe. What could he had possibly done to lose prank points? Hmm... maybe that carton of milk to the face of a sleeping stallion was a bit much. Even he thought that was more harm than fun; especially the look on the groggy stallion when he woke up to find himself covered in an unknown white substance. Those kind of glares could kill on the spot.
While they had their fun, Rainbow kept a very close eye on him. Probably looking out for any fishy activity. Oh well, at least he's getting somewhere.
The next day, he had Applejack. She was suspicious of him, but payed him no mind as she continued to work on her farm. She did mind, however, when the pigs started to grow wings and fly around aimlessly.
Boy, was she peeved. Don't blame him though; it wasn't his fault that the adynation of flying pigs could be so amusing in real life. He was literally kicked out of the farm; courtesy of Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee, otherwise known as Applejack's back hooves. They did say sorry though. Poor things were jus4 misunderstood.
For the remainder of that day, he spent some time with Rarity. She too was suspicious of him, no surprise there. However, upon learning that Fluttershy sent him here, she actually made an effort to get to know him. Strange, were ponies always this trusting of one another? Perks of friendship, he guessed.
She showcased him the dresses she had made recently; Discord was thoroughly impressed with the design. She even made him a spiffy new suit, and by the heavens did he look fabulous in them. He even had a matching hat to go with. True to her Element, Rarity was the most generous pony Discord has ever had the pleasure of meeting.
A few hours earlier from today, Discord's next pony on his (hit) friend list was Twilight Sparkle. He gingerly made his way to her tree house; preparing himself for what was probably an entire day of history lessons. He was going to knock to let her know he was here before he saw the note on her front door.
LIBRARY CLOSED TODAY
RETURN TOMORROW
We apologize for any inconvenience
"So Princess purple and her pet are gone for today." he thought. "Good. Her ramblings could probably drive me up the wall faster than the time I had an itch as a statue."
He shuddered at the memory. Being a statue in Celestia's garden was not a very pleasant experience. Especially those birds. Those damn birds, thinking they could just take a dump anywhere they want. The whole world was their bathroom. And apparently; he was some sort of god-toilet to them. Oh, sweet Celestia, that was the worst time to ever had his mouth stuck wide-open. He gritted his teeth at the memory of one particular sparrow; forever the bane of his taste buds.
"I don't know who you are," he gritted. "But I will find you. And I will kill you."
He remembered his promise to himself ever since that hellspawn used his mouth. So far, he had little success on finding said sparrow, but his burning passion for revenge pushed him forward.
"Hiya Discord! Why so glum?"
Discord spun at the new voice; only to find himself looking at Pinkie Pie - Element of Laughter. Good, he can finally rid himself of that distasteful memory; even for only a short period of time.
And that brings us to the present. He and Pinkie idly chatted and exchanged their own jokes as they made their way to Sugarcube Corner. Well, that was just a few minutes ago. Now, Pinkie was practically begging to have one of Discord's favorite cotton candy chocolate rain. The interaction between the two slowly transformed from a simple chat into plead and refuse; pleading in Pinkie's case and refusing in Discord's.
"PLEASE MR. DISCORD!"
He sighed in exasperation. What was he thinking, pitting himself in a battle of willpower and annoyance against Ponyville's resident Pinkie Pie? He knows what she was capable of; they were practically in a stalemate when it comes to such things. And yet here he was.
He moved his mouth to retort, only to find himself unable to do so. His attention was turned elsewhere; specifically a pink alicorn and the bubble following her. He was not surprised to see Princess Cadence in Ponyville; he was surprised with the big metal thing in the pink bubble that's following her. It somewhat resembled that Iron Will fellow; albeit smaller, made of metal and a hell of a lot quieter.
"Hey Pinkie, could you care to tell me who that is?" Discord asked, pointing his paw at Cadence's general direction.
"Oh, him? That's Emile! We met him last night in the Everfree Forest with Luna and then he tried to kill her and got pretty close too! Then I came in all 'SURPRISE!' and blasted him with my party cannon. He didn't get hurt, but I think I distracted him so Luna could move in and read his mind and put a sleep spell on him. And then Luna put him in this shield thingy and went with her all the way to Canterlot. And then we all went back home an-"
Discord gently pushed his talon into her face; signalling he had heard enough. Even so, she still kept on talking; her ramblings dialled down into incoherent mumbles. Oh well, Pinkies will be Pinkies, he guessed. He turned his attention to it again. Able to stand toe-to-toe against an all-powerful co-ruler of the nation; check. Most likely had an audience with Princess Sunbutt herself; check. Finds way back here; check. Headed towards Twilight's treehouse; check. While still in custody; check. Everything seemed to be in order. That means there was only one explanation.
This thing was going to go under the reformation process.
Discord realized something in his realization (realiception?). If the reformation process works on this guy, he can have someone to relate to. A once baddie turned into a somewhat trustworthy ally. He could have another friend. Hey, they could be the best of buddies, as thick as thieves, the dynamic duo! Oh, he can already imagine the fun they'll have together. The chaos they'll wreak! Yes, that will be his quest. Forget the sparrow, forget anything else. Right now, he needs the reformation process to work on him. He needs him to be his friend!
"Pinkie Pie, listen to me very carefully. I need to get to 'Emile' right now. My senses tell me that we shall become best friends and share smores in the future."
"You can walk to him, silly-billy!" Pinkie giggled at Discord's sudden behavior change.
"Pinkie, have you been taking drugs? One does not simply 'walk' towards a bad guy. You have to do it with style, with finesse with-" he glanced at Pinkie, looking confused at his display of drama. His grin grew wider as an impossibly wonderful idea materialized in his magnificent brain; Pinkie started to grin as well, probably thinking of the same thing. What was that saying again? Great minds think alike? Yeah, that was the one.
"You have to do it, with a cannon."
Emile never knew one could ever get tired of grumbling. It was a natural thing to grumble from time to time; everyone does it. If he was finding the act tiring, it must be a clear cut sign that he's overdoing it. Actually, he could not give a damn whether he was tired or not. He just wanted to go home. To just sit back, relax and kick Covenant ass once more. His trigger finger was getting awfully twitchy at the lack of a gun's presence. It seems like it was only yesterday that he tore a very big new one on a certain Elite. Oh wait, that was just yesterday. Damn, was it really that long?
He sat down in his floating pink prison, following a pink princess to this "Twilight Sparkle", who was probably pink as well. Or purple. He couldn't really choose which one he hated more. Cadence started to have a conversation with him, but it was mostly one-sided. He did listen in on some stuff she said.
Apparently, there were four types of ponies; something Emile scoffed at. One type of pony was enough, thank you very much. Actually, one type of pony was one too many.
There were the alicorns, which had both wings and a horn. Only four existed as of now. Princess Cadence, Princess Celestia, Princess Twilight and her.
Then, there were the pegasi. Like human mythology stated, they had wings on them. One addition to being a pegasus was the ability to control the weather. Emile wondered how they were able to fly with those wings. Maybe they were built like birds; having hollow bones and all.
Next was the unicorn. Their distinctive feature was their horn. Apparently they can also control "magic". According to Cadence, magic was something unicorns and and alicorns are able to do; their magic manifests through one's emotions, specialty and experience. Cadence's magic for example is able to manifest through the power of love.
"Oh my God, could things sound any more girly here?" Emile bitterly thought.
Finally there was the Earth pony. Emile initially believed they ended up with the short straw of evolution, until Cadence explained their most distinctive trait. They were easily the strongest ponies in terms of physical strength. They could easily shrug off blows that could cripple or even kill unicorns and pegasi. Still, Emile thought they were a bit dull. Except that pink one.
Emile's mind wandered towards magic. The entire concept of it was unusual to say the least; there was no such thing as magic. None whatsoever. That belief, however, was completely shattered in less that three seconds when Cadence transformed a rock into an apple right in front of him. He even crushed the apple to confirm it was not just some sort of illusion. Emile has seen a lot of stuff in life; marines eviscerated by Elites, a Jackal brutally biting into a small child's frontal lobe, walking in on his parents. He's seen enough to consider these normal, but magic? That type of shit was not normal. Not at all.
His thoughts were interrupted by a resonating bang. He turned his attention to the sound; only to find a red, blue and white blur whiz past him; just inches away from his bubble. It went too fast for Emile to discern any noticeable features of what was shot at him; only seeing a series of mismatched body parts. It was probably some sort of crash dummy. Emile turned to the pers- pony who shot him. Immediately his jaw went slack.
It was that same pink pony from last night.
"Ah Jesus, not you again." he groaned. He knew it was futile; seeing how she just attempted to shoot something at him. It seems, however, that the person upstairs was feeling merciful today. The pink one just waved at him and promptly trotted towards a different direction. Emile exhaled; thankful he was spared from her. He turned to Cadence again. She hadn't even noticed the events that had transpired in the vicinity.
As they made their way through the town; Emile earned many fearful gawks and stares from the public. He guessed that was to be expected; he obtained the same stares whenever he was with civilians back on Reach. If he was scary to them then, imagine what these ponies were thinking of him now. They were probably transfixed by his helmet. They better be, he carved that skull with pride and joy.
One group that caught his attention was a trio of mares. Out of all of the general public, these three were the most... "fearful" of him. They all fainted. At the same time. In a very over-dramatic manner. Better keep an eye out of them for the meantime.
They had finally reached their destination; the dreaded "Twilight Sparkle". Much to Cadence's annoyance and Emile's glee, the place she called home was empty; the note on her front door confirming their suspicions.
"Huh, she's not here today. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to wait. I know this little bakery down the road. Maybe we can continue our conversation there?"
Emile inwardly groaned. Great, now he's going to have another conversation with her. A real one this time. He's going to have a heartfelt conversation with a pony.
"Oh God, kill me now."
"Dang, that stings"
Discord groggily sat up, eyeing his surroundings. He was very lucky to crash into a stand selling pillows; he was even luckier to have to pony supposed to man it on a lunch break. He could only imagine the earful he would receive if he stayed any longer. Fixing his red and blue star-spangled helmet and jumpsuit, he quickly fled the crime scene. Pinkie's a terrible shot, but that's not going to stop him. If anything, he was now more determined to meet this Emile character. He wasn't going to give up.
Not until he made a new friend.
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I feel sorry for Emily.
Having Discord as a friend can't be a good thing, Except when you are Fluttershy and can control him.
5340580 Not really. What's the problem?
Like sp*** .... WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN !!!
OH YOU TRICKY BUGGER!!!
cant complain though, thanks for the extra chapter before you have your vacation
Five Nights at Freddy's reference?
5340593 he means wooden teeth are not going to bite through a shield and metal armor. yeah. also luna could not of went to his head because he had a helmet on.
God that movie reference. I forget the name but I know it!
Thanks for getting this update out before vacation! And Emile, I feel for you.
The. Feelz.
5341767 To how Luna was able to read Emile's mind throuh his helmet, I did that to imply that armor by itself cannot protect the user from magic, something needs to be added with it. Armor mostly consists of metal; meant to take physical blows and not magic. If the armor itself is infused with magic or is able to create a barrier between the user and magic (such as Emile's shields and armor lock), then it would've been a different story. In the story, Emile's shields were malfuncitioning after receiving Luna's attack. Luna does not know what Emile had but definitely knows something was wrong with him. Capitalising his confusion, Luna took the risk of reading his mind.
hell YYYYYEEAAAHHHH ITS HERE AFTER THE HIATUS
YAY more of discords qoute on qoute "frends"
What baffles me is how little Emile acts like a soldier.
He's supposed to be the crème de la crème, what the hell?
Nice Taken reference.
5489206 cream of the cream
E for effort
Sadly losing interest in this. There's not enough to keep the story going. I started losing interest the moment Emile lost that fight.
5489206
Emile is probably just extremely pisted and annoyed right now. And surprisingly, the author has captured his personality very well