• Member Since 16th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 20th, 2017

Sarikano


T

When Alex Mercier decided to take a vacation to see his friend in the city of Muscatine in the state of Iowa, he had no idea about all the changes his 25th anniversary would bring to his life. Or how his fate would be bound to the one of a stranger.

Side story to Five Score Divided by Four
Sister Story to Lunar Phases
Collab with Experiencing the Dusk and The Weird Taste of Change
Editor : We are the Meta and Buckshot2825

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 207 )

Ahh ! Yes! It finally published! It only took you... a lot. Time to read! (Will edit after)

2544461Not everyone can be as productive as you :rainbowwild:

2544469

Well, try no-lifing like a boss. And then you can!

2544628 what's really funny is that my iTunes started playing that song as soon as I loaded this page before posting that so I immediately jumped over to youtube to find a video of it :rainbowlaugh::derpytongue2:

2544657


Whats even funnier is that I've been listening to Apocalyptica for the past seven hours straight and I've only had FOUR ideas for tavi fics. ONLY FOUR! (It's usually more.)

question. will these to stories combined into one later down the road?

2544800If you mean the two sisters directly interacting with each other, definitely. This one is meant to be Celestia side of the story.

Great opener also Celestia is best princess.

As soon as I saw "25th birthday" I knew this was a Five Score sidestory, and I knew the Celly one was only a matter of time. Will read, but I gotta finish Five Score first...

2544911 No! Just no! Ah hell no! Just no! Really no! I've had it! Screw you guys, IIIIII'm goin home.

I have to admit, this is a pretty terrible hook, and a blatant self-insert. It's not fun to read about people playing video games, and in general gamers do not make particularly interesting main characters. Sorry.

2546131
I have to second this. I don't mean to offend, but an editor could be of benefit here. This entire first chapter could probably have been trimmed down to a tenth of the length. An overabundance of unnecessary details do not make for interesting reading. The two characters met playing an online game. That's the key point. We don't need to know the intricacies of the match. Extraneous use of brand names are distracting and, to me at least, kind of annoying. Okay, they got sandwiches. Is it crucial that we know it was a Quiznos' Black Angus sub on Rosemary Parmesan bread? Really, all that happened is we are told how the two met, Alex drives from Quebec to Muscatine (which, along with the use of Fiona, seems to be an attempt to directly connect your story to the original. it's always bad form to try to insert your work into another author's), and they hang out for a day. You didn't need 3500 words to tell us that. If they're doing something of import, by all means, please tell us about it. But describing them playing Civ or shopping for video games does not seem to be a plot forwarding event. You've got promise here, it just needs to be polished. I know you can do it. You don't have to believe in yourself. Believe in me who believes in you.

Woah my xcom recruit is called mercier what are the chances. He's also a support unit.

2546265You don't need to worry about offending me unless you go out of your way to do so:raritywink:

This entire first chapter could probably have been trimmed down to a tenth of the length. An overabundance of unnecessary details do not make for interesting reading. The two characters met playing an online game. That's the key point. We don't need to know the intricacies of the match. Extraneous use of brand names are distracting and, to me at least, kind of annoying. Okay, they got sandwiches. Is it crucial that we know it was a Quiznos' Black Angus sub on Rosemary Parmesan bread?

It is my first story, so I guess that I was bound to make that kind of error. The question become up to what level of detail keep things interesting?

(which, along with the use of Fiona, seems to be an attempt to directly connect your story to the original. it's always bad form to try to insert your work into another author's)

It is not the same Fiona. For one, her birthday is different (May 3rd in the sisters case) and, actually, it was meant as a little joke. You should look about Burn Notice :pinkiehappy:.
Even more, age wise, she is supposed to be younger then Michael who is turning 25 on the 3rd. Actually, both sisters are meant to turn 9 on their birthday. I forgot to mention how young they were.

2546131It isn't meant to be a self-insert...
I guess I did went overboard with the video game description though. If you could go more in detail about the self-insert parts, it could probably be useful to correct or justify them.

Would the stranger be scout by any chance.

Last time I checked celstia got her arse tossed into a Volcano. For me she is very very dead.:trollestia: Just saying.

2547642Well, one of the thing I must do later is to explain why Discord didn't just leave her fall in the lava now?

Finally got around to reading this now that the 3rd chapter to my fic is released! It sounds great so far. Keep up the good work Sarikano!

When I read this...

Nissan Cube

:ajbemused::facehoof::facehoof::facehoof: Oh god. Including that car is an insult to gearheads everywhere.

Hmm, red and green sugar coated cereal? I see what you did there. :ajsmug:

2555145Hey, the uniqueness of the car will be of use later :pinkiehappy:

2555189 You could have picked an FIAT 500 Abarth, a little Italian hot hatchback with scorpions painted in several places (in a high-contrast color) instead. It's affordable and a much better choice than a Cube. :trollestia:
Ahh, I'm just messing' with ya. Do what'cha want, it's your sidefic. :pinkiesmile:

So I did the only reasonable thing at the time; I insulted him back. After a while, and a few players leaving as soon as they joined, he suddenly started laugh rather loudly and I soon joined him. We had become friends in a rather messed up fashion.

(I AM NOT BEING SARCASTIC DAMMIT)
That sounds like a great friendship :twilightsmile:

Hmmmm 4 people all with birthdays near one another? i see where this is going >:D

Coffee? Bleh i prefer nice cold glass of coke :twilightsmile:

So don't ever call me a pet name again, or I will find you, and I will kill you.

That is the most genius way to end that song. :moustache:
Since i already pretty much read this part on the luna fic, w/o the alex/tia thoughts ofc, i dont got muches to say:applejackunsure:

So, his/her sister are meeting.
:pinkiehappy:

So far loving both perspectives of this story! Hope you keep up the good writing! :twilightsmile:

2600023 We both will :twilightsmile: And don't worry, I'll make sure Sarikano's story is just as well-written as mine! :raritywink::trollestia:

2602479 I just don't write as quickly...:fluttercry:

2602930
I've been sitting on a muse for over a year now with only ~500 words of malleable plot outside of the generalities to really show for it... You're certainly by far faster than I! :ajsleepy:

I seriously detest beginnings, let alone trying to reason why the far-fetched premise is reasonable. Is requiring my punching clean holes in canon to sew in threads of pure fantastic science fiction.

Unless it was meant as weapon from another country. Then, why did they bother with the cutie mark?

You would be surprised at how sadistic people can be.

Yay your caught up the main storyline ^_^

Actually, John shouldn't have managed to riled up Alex so easily. There is a subtle clue in that part to explain why ;).

It's called sibling rivalry. It is part of Luna's job description to antagonize her sister. Same with my sister -_-

2623412 Oh, you haven't seen anything yet buckshot. Although I swear, you're like one of the most avid commenters on each of our stories. I see your comments quite a bit in my own story, and you have been the first to comment on the past two chapters of Sarikano's story. Keep it up!:twilightsmile:

2623493
I have this wierd disease called "Addiction" It is fatal to the eyeballs and is incurable

2623800 Ah, condolences. I have it as well.

2624253


One would assume there would be some form of therapy group for those of us that suffer from this addiction...:facehoof:

2624478 But alas, it is incurable, so no one tries.

2624575 there is some way to partially cure it but it involves strapping yourself to a chair and taping your eyes closed for 24 hours.... i dont want to try it...

“For science!” as a certain potato would say.

Aperture Science!
We do what we must, because, we can.
For the good of all of us,
Except the ones who are pony's...

potatOS rocks!

2635588 Unfortunately I work slowly. But you can read We are the Meta story if you haven't already done so.

Thanks for telling me but I know thanks anyways

i finally found this fic :yay:
love story so far, it will be interesting to see the story from Alex's (or Alexia's) point of view :twilightsmile:

I would like to see what happens with the rest of the changes and memories of the Royal Pony Sisters, especially with Luna and her descent into NightMare Moon, Celestia aiding the Mane 6 with Discord, as well as the Elements of Harmony, defeating King Sombra and tasking Twilight and her friends with reviving the Crystal Empire.

2651311 Well, it wasn't exactly hidden :rainbowwild:
I am happy that you like it though.

2658703 Memories about Nightmare Moon rising and any thing related to Discord will probably happen later. On the other hand, unless Alex meet either Sombra or Cadance, I don't think that the Crystal Empire would be relevant.

By the way, I would need a proper cover image if anyone have an idea.

Maybe things were finally starting to look up for me.

O boy, now you've done it. Gone and jinxed yourself :facehoof:

Cubemobile…
Rofl! :rainbowlaugh:

Eh... When did I start consider John to be female?

Ever since the beginning of the chapter… wait that question was rhetorical wasn't it?

Considering my luck so far with the fidelity of the pony I am turning into, the ears must be pink as well...

Well fate gave you a break on this one actually but that would be teh lolz

Btw even though what is happening is pretty much the Luna fic in plot. I still like hearing another point of view :twilightsmile:

P.S. you know the ads at the bottom of chapters? Yeah, mine is one for 'anger management' classes XD

2667491 Actually Alex perceptioin of John started to change in the last chapter.

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