- Member Since 23rd Sep, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 15th, 2018
Westphalian_Musketeer
I read and write in an attempt to figure out which questions and beliefs our little microcosm of a community holds. My verdict? I'm not saying.
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That's quality. I'd like to see more clop from you. You definitely have a talent for writing Gilda porn.
One thing to think about, though. Griffins don't have lips, which means that she can't kiss well or give good head.
d1hekt5vpuuw9b.cloudfront.net/assets/e9fa513d9fc11b46ad9145a7a27a80c3_galleryimage_gallery.jpg
Instead, Gilda has sharp beaks and talons. That's part of what makes her so sexy. That fact that she could disembowel you during sex if she got carried away.
I think this clop was well-written, I would just encourage you to explore the unique traits of griffins a little more should you decide to write another Gilda story.
- Bronystories
PS Don't forget about tailjobs! Gilda can jerk a stallion off with her prehensile, lion-like tail.
There are plenty of fun scenarios you could explore...
What about a Spitfire, Gilda, Soarin three-way with a voyeristic Rainbow Dash?
1603178 Its wonderful to have feedback from a renowned author of this site such as yourself. On the lips thing, that is why I had Gilda have a particularly long tongue in this fic. Basically just imagine the tongue wrapping around the member, rather than the beak itself.
And now that you mention it... I think I may have an idea for a spiritual successor for this fic... but that is for the long term.
I'd love to see Braeburn give Gilda a tour of Appaloosa. He could show her the blacksmith's shop where they make rims for wagon wheels.
The horny griffin could then carry her lover off to a secluded area and put her unusually long tongue to good use.
"I don't know anything about making wagon wheels," Gilda said, as she ran her long tongue along her beak, "But I know a thing or two about rimjobs."
Gilda could then give Braeburn an in-depth anal tongue tickling.
Bonus points if you somehow manage to include the phrase "old jism trail" into the story.
Of course,don't let me influence you. This is your story and I want you to write it however you like. I just see a lot of potential here and will be eager to see what you do with it.
Really hot! You are a great writer.
1603178
Well, remind me, when I get the chance to have sex with Gilda, to wear my suit of armor.
1603760
dipnoid.com/images/dog-armor.jpg
My body is ready.
i can see them being lovers on the outback the type of wife that is stoger and fun and bareben is the cool headed one
I can only imagine Applejack's reaction.
"Hey cousin, I met this great gal."
Applejack looked stunned and gave a playful smirk. "About time ya got yerself a mare, everyone was thinkin' you had some sugar in your tank, back when you were livin' with that stallion from the Wonderbolts."
The yellow stallion let out an annoyed groan. "I done told you that was my roommate from college and nothin' happened."
Braeburn caught a glimpse of a familiar predator and called out to her. "Gil, I wantcha to meet my cousin who's visiting from out of town."
The griffin did as her stallion requested and she let the dust settle before making introductions.
"Her!" Gilda and Applejack both said in unison while pointing a hoof/talon at each other.
"Great you know each other, let's go to back to the house for somethin' to eat." He said with a goofy grin completely oblivious to what had happened in Ponyville when the two of them first met.
....
Sequel!
1607384 I have an idea for one, but it will take a while.
before read
GildaBurn?
Fuck you and your glorious mind, author.
1607555 I try to make sure my ideas have at least an iota of originality.
1604072 Actually I was thinking more along the lines of:
cdn.instructables.com/FTU/SXLU/GEVZWD85/FTUSXLUGEVZWD85.LARGE.jpg
ODST Armor FTW! More realistic than Mjolnir armor and cheaper to produce too.
I would love to see this continued.
after read
Has great potential, but needs more work
1607665 Needs more work where? Grammar? Emotional details? Physical details? Please let me know so I can improve in the future.
Great! But dex scenes should or could have been longer.
1607686 I think he means it needs a percentage increase in its coolness
How much of an increase? About 20%? Sounds about right to me.
In all honesty though this is good clop. Not the best I have seen, but still good. Bronystories still holds that rating with ATF.
Keep going at it and I can see this being good.
I like how the story played out. There were very few errors, but mostly what I was interested in was the flow of the story, and the characters. x3 I say it was a cute and hot read, though it could had gone on longer. Plus watch out for a few repetitive words, they get ya every time.
Keep on writing. ^^
1607686
well.. If you really want to know..
The characters were flat and somewhat OOC. The words you used were both not descriptive enough and too sophisticated. Gilda would not have given into her naughty thoughts so easily in my opinion. I believe Breaburn would have been more unsure about the situation. The sex scene was to short and bland.but other than that, it's fine..
1607686
But don't stop writing!
You're doing way better than me.
...I actually haven't written anything yet
1612628 So... If I ended up re-writing this, make the approach to sex take longer to better account for both characters' canon, be more descriptive but don't use overly complex words?
1612654
That's basically the basics of what I'm trying to say.
None of this is meant to be mean or brash, I'm just trying to help
1612686 Oh no, I didn't take it that way at all. I'm always glad when someone takes the time to give advice on how to improve my writing, even if it is for a one-shot. I figure I can at least get some ideas that would help my writing overall.
1612701
Oh, good. Happy to help!
Wait. This shipping actually exists? WHY ISN'T THERE MORE GILDABURN?! I WANT MY GILDABURN
1618455 Actually, part of the reason I wrote this was because I had never seen the pairing before.
1618496 Well, if you could write a non-clop version (and make it more than just this one chapter) I'd enjoy it.
I'm not really into clop.
1618504 Well, this has gotten a number of views, maybe come the holidays I could write an extended version, include clop and non-clop chapters, but that'd all take a while. Maybe you'll luck out, someone will see this fic, and make their own in the meantime to tide you over.
1618516 Yeah. I might make a blog post about my favorite hipster shipping (i.e. Crack Shippings) and then ask if anybody wants to write one.
1612654
I think MeRBrony raised several good points. I can see Braeburn falling in love with Gilda, while she just views him as an outlet for intense sex. I liked the slow build up to the clop, but I agree that when the sex scene happened, it was over too quickly.
Keep writing, though! I'm eager to read more!
And that's how hippogriffs were born
1637026 I take it you're quite sensitive about who Braeburn is shipped with?
no just who gilda is shiped with, i hate her
*Ding!* Achievement Get! 69 favorites!
You sir get ALL my mustaches
Good story here. The fandom needs more straight Gilda clopfics.
1603178
Normally I'd agree. However, they can make facial expressions, Pinkie can scrunch their beaks in (okay, it's Pinkie, but still), and they seem perfectly fine with a vegetarian diet. So, I wouldn't worry about the that thing too much.
This image seems appropriate for this story.
thethoughtexperiment.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/popularscience1938vol133no5.jpg
A rare, but welcome and well done pairing. Good work!
1959420 Thank you very much, knowing a prominent author of fimfiction such as yourself favorite my story lets me know that I'm doing something right. I am very glad you enjoyed it.
1753910
hue
.......................................
ididntwritethis.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/alright-alright-alright.jpg?w=490
I have been HNNG'd by this awesomess :)
2980219 Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
One word
threadbombing.com/data/media/52/moar_cat2.jpg
1623014 OBJECTION! A HIPPOGRIFF IS HALF EAGLE, HALF HORSE! A GRIFFON IS HALF EAGLE, HALF LION! THEIR CHILD WOULD BE HALF HORSE, ONE FOURTH EAGLE, AND ONE FOURTH LION!
3702589 Not really. While griffon is a mythological creature, a hippogriff never appeared in an actual myth, but instead was a symbol of impossibility - one of the philosophers referred to something he deemed impossible: "sooner will griffons crossbreed with horses" - an it stuck. An ancient meme so to speak.