They're Not Dolls, They're Plastic Models!
It was a beautiful day in Equestria. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Trixie was making out with Chrysalis. Hooves and tails were entwined in the shadow of a large tree deep in the Everfree forest.
"Oh, Trixie," Chrysalis gasped as Trixie nuzzled one of the holes in her hooves. "Nopony must ever find out about our forbidden love!"
"Trixie agrees!" Trixie said, turning her attentions to Chrysalis' gnarled horn. "Nopony must ever know that Trixie is in love with a Changeling! Trixie could never stand the kind of negative public attention that would cause! Trixie Trixie Trixie!"
"Oh, I understand," Chrysalis said, as she stroked a hoof through Trixie's mane. "It would be devastating if I, the Queen of the Changelings, were discovered having a dalliance with a common attention horse."
"Yes! Talk dirty to Trixie! Trixie has no dignity or self-respect!"
And then they made kissy noises at each other. Mwah mwah mwah.
---
"Uh... Twilight? What are you doing?"
Twilight shrieked and shot up from her bed, a pair of plastic toys being telekinetically shoved under her pillow.
"Nothing!" she said, trying to play as cool as she possibly could while clinging tenaciously to a bookshelf. "Nothing at all! I certainly wasn't playing with my resin models or making fun of ponies I've humiliated in the past!"
Spike sighed and rubbed his face. "Twilight, could you at least do that in the basement with the door closed? The first time I walked in on you like this it was embarrassing, but now it's just getting sad."
Dropping from the bookshelf, Twilight walked over and flopped on her bed. She snorted. "Stop making such a big deal about it. It's not as if you walked in on me m-"
"La la la la la!" Spike shouted, clapping his claws over his earholes. "I am not hearing this!"
"Remember the time I had to change your sheets because you-"
"LA LA LA LA LA!" Spike shouted even louder, before turning and running back down the stairs. Twilight smirked as she watched the little dragon beat a hasty retreat.
"Now then..."
---
"Come with me, Trixie! Let us leave this forest and found a new empire of big jerks!"
"But-" Trixie gasped, drawing away from Chrysalis. "The Everfree is Trixie's home, now that she can never show her face in civilization again after being humiliated by the smartest, most powerful, most attractive unicorn ever! Trixie can never leave, and will spend the rest of her life here, living under trees and eating pinecones, which are Trixie's favorite food. Trixie Trixie Trixie."
"But, Trixie," Chrysalis said, raising a tentative hoof. "What about us?"
"It can never be!" Trixie said, spinning, eyes brimming with tears that sparkled in the dappled sunlight. "Trixie is far too self-centered to make the slightest sacrifice for anypony, and you are a gross giant bug!"
"But," Chrysalis said, as her own eyes welled with tears. "I don't have to be a gross giant bug! I could be a beautiful purple unicorn with the best cutie mark ever, who everypony likes and who keeps the neatest library anywhere in Equestria!"
"Could it... Could it be?" Trixie said, between sobs. "Would you do that for Tri-"
---
"Uh, hey!" a muffled voice called from outside Twilight's bedroom window. It was joined by some urgent taps on the glass. Twilight was once again startled, and a pair of small plastic toys bounced off the windowsill before the latch was telekinetically lifted to let Rainbow Dash in the room.
"Rainbow!" Twilight said, hoping she wasn't blushing as furiously as she thought she was. "What are you doing here?"
Rainbow Dash blinked down at Twilight. "Uh, I said I was coming over today to borrow the new Daring Do book." She flitted to the other side of the bed, narrowing her eyes at Twilight. "What were you doing?"
"Nothing!" Twilight lied.
"Cause it looked like you were playing with dolls."
"They're resin models!"
Rainbow Dash blinked again, and then fell to the floor, laughing. "Oh, jeez, Twilight!" she said in between gasping laughter. "Playing with dolls! Wait, I mean... Resin models!" She laughed even harder, ignoring Twilight's increasingly dour glare.
Clambering to her hooves, Rainbow turned to head down the stairs, still laughing. "Okay, I'll leave you alone with your dolls. Hey, Spike! You'll never guess what I just saw..."
A moment passed while Twilight glared after Rainbow, before the drawer to her endtable opened, one of the plastic models was stored and another withdrawn.
---
It was an awesome day in Cloudsdale. The sun was shining, the birds that were also horses were singing, and Trixie was making out with Rainbow Dash.
"Awww, yeah!" Rainbow Dash said as she fondled anatomically-incorrect Trixie. "This is awesome! 20% cooler! Rainbows and dashing!"
"Yes, say more catchphrases to Trixie!" Trixie said, as she wrapped her hooves around Rainbow Dash. "Tell Trixie about the Wonderbolts!"
"Awww, yeah!" Rainbow Dash reiterated. "I'm so awesome! I get away with not doing my work and barging in on ponies any time of day because I am so awesome! I'm gonna be an awesome Wonderbolt someday, even though I'd never practice or do the necessary work! I'm really fast at everything!"
"Yes! Trixie loves quick, unsatisfying s-"
---
"Okay, now I'm a little freaked out."
A pair of plastic toys rebounded off Spike's forehead, drawing a yelp from the little dragon. Twilight spun to look over at the stairs again where Spike stood. Rainbow Dash hovered behind him, a hoof rubbing the back of her head as she tried to look almost anywhere but at the unicorn.
"Uh, Rainbow, look, I can explain..."
Spike leaned down and picked up the two toys in his claws, which he gingerly deposited on Twilight's bed. They were both bright blue plastic models of ponies. One was a unicorn with a very light, bordering on grey mane and a purple wizard's hat, while the other was a plastic pegasus decorated with a rainbow-colored mane and tail. He sighed.
"Twilight, you've gotten really weird since Trixie dumped you."
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that ending.
This... it's gold. I like it... but, this is my over all thoughts.
This will be featured. It's too stupidly funny NOT to be featured!
Edit: Someone better pick up that phone, because I fucking called it!
๏_๏
This is funny/weird.
I like it!
Hang on a sec, I need to find somewhere to laugh without waking anyone
The ending pretty much made it.
Hilariously awesome work.
I detect the feature box coming as well...
Alright, that was genuinely funny
Sometimes short and sweet is the best way to have a laugh.
This is a very short piece but I had to take brakes because I was laughing so hard.
This is so far the best I've read.
And OMG, that twist ending!
BTW:
New OTP
Amazing! One of the funniest I've read in a long time!
Sellout! :c
Oh god yes. Short, sweet, and hilarious.
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Pure brilliance. Keep it up!
I call for a sequel, this was pretty funny (that is if it feels right, no point forcing it).
Ha, love it
This is so funny
What other models are in that desk? Could there be a purple pony, by any chance? And a tall white one?
No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again, sir!
These might now be the best 1000 words in pony fiction.
That is why I play video games and watch a lot of violent movies. So no one will walk in on that sort of thing.
that ending its geniopsu. im glad this was fetured.
Me: Head-cannon acquired.
Logical Brony: What? But this comedy is highly unlikel-
Me: HEAD, CANNON, ACQUIRED.
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1476046 Awesome slither reference!
Oh my god
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
1476046
Someone has been eating my premonition pizza, haven't they?
Trixie needs to get back together with Twilight.
She has issues. Do another chapter, I want to see the intervention.
That Ending Was just One word to me and its VIRGIN!
lol no wonder
only in this fandom would a girl playing with dolls be abnormal
But... what did I just... How did...
Dat ending.
I liked the concept of Twilight using her figurines as an outlet. Huge humorous potential as well as potential for really nice deconstruction and introspection.
Last line kind of ruined it for me. It cheapened the concept by making it a coping mechanism instead of a character quirk.
Welcome to the feature box. <3
1477015
It was definitely the first thing that crossed my mind while reading this!
1477048
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this was really fun
Am I the only one who thinks the author should write more chapters depicting Twilight playing which each of her friends (and enemies too)?
Is it bad that I can legitimately believe that Twilight would do such a thing?
That was very entertaining. Well done.
And it was rocketed straight to the featured box!
Anyways, funny fic!
AAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA
The ending was what made this for me. Completely. I died.
A very short and simple comedy fanfiction. I liked it.
+1 joke fic in the feature box.
What a
!
That was fun, good job on making it entertaining and keeping it entertaining through the whole piece. Some comedies drop off at the ends, are slow to start, or dip in the middle, but this was was nice and steady.
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>mfw
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