• Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Saturday

Tramper


Prowling with preposterous pretentiousness we permit petting of precious ponies

T
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All magic vanished from the world when Discord fell. Along with it, the might of the unicorns and alicorn princesses dwindled. Even the Elements Of Harmony lost their potence and were lost in the sea of time.

Left without the guidance of the alicorns and the magic of harmony, the ponies soon raised Equestria to a country ruled by science and industry. But still, some remain who dream of magic.

As the mysterious beast Magia threatens the world, a sickly filly named Twilight Sparkle and five friends take it upon themselves to delve into the caverns beneath Canterlot to find the burial ground of magic, the Lunarium.


This is an ongoing Rewrite. The story in and of itself was finished in April 2013 but needed some massive editing. This new version features all new scenes, better descriptions, less mistakes, 3D-Effects, and a gratis code for the DLC-Character "Emo Pie", which on any other occasion would've been a pre-order bonus only.

Or something.

Current Coverart by: kmrshy, go check 'em out.

Also thanks to everybody who helps/ed editing this story, no matter if you did only help me with one chapter or all. Thank you for turning this rewrite from another mess into a brilliant story!

Chapters (31)
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Comments ( 317 )

Hmmm....this is interesting. I have to see where this is going.

I like it. Writing more would be approved by my mustache:moustache:

I went back and read the description after I started this.....what a bleak world....still please continue, Trixie as a new start, Twilight without magic....no princesses....oh the possibilities

3807062 I can think of several reasons, of which no less than 5 involve alien invaders. :pinkiecrazy:

3813896 oh jeez, this story looks good, i guess ill have to get on to chapter 2 in the morning. bummer :pinkiesad2:

It's so cutedark seeing injured children walking together with warm smiles...:fluttercry:

what can i say, your plan certainly got you publicity:rainbowlaugh::twilightsmile:

Not a bad read. Now, question time!

1. What happened to the crystal empire?! :raritydespair:

2. Wouldn't the griffons been all up on the ponies once they lost their magic? Or any aggressive race for that matter?

3. So, when the elements defeated Discord, they defeated him permenatly and in doing so destroyed all magic? So, the elements pretty much killed themselves? :rainbowlaugh:

5181608 Thanks. :yay:
1. That's one of the questions I wanted to answer in Across The Snows, but I can say that it ended during Sombra's rule.

2 and 3.) Both of those are going to be answered within the story, so you can look forward to that. :pinkiesmile:

Is there any big changes to the story? Cause i read this a few months back, loved but i dont think i can go through all that sadness :fluttercry: again if i dont need if there no major changes

5182049 In and of itself it's the same story. Just lots of new scenes and better pacing. I've revamped the entire first part until this point and the majority of the chapters are twice as long as before. So, it's kinda like an extended cut special edition thingie. You don't have to read it if you got through the original, but if the notion should strike you, I hope it turns out to be a better read than before. :twilightsheepish:

5182055
O shoot special edition thingys make me want to also finally noticed your blog post explaining stuff

No Lyra, not even the full might of Equestria at its most magical prime could grow you hands. Only the inscrutable nature of the Pinkie Pie ever came close, and she was destroyed with horn lasers. It is your blessing and your curse Lyra, that you will never ever have hands. NOW STOP ASKING :twilightangry2:

DId you say haaaaands?
th08.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2013/192/c/9/excited_lyra_heartstrings_vector_by_weegeestareatyou-d6anx3d.png

This story is getting more interesting by the chapter :D
Keep up the great work!

I agree with 5192906 I was unsure at first, but it's getting more and more interesting. From what I'm getting from it you are basically the target of a bunch of diseases and such if you are a unicorn, that is an interesting concept. Twilight having a brown coat really helps to get across how sickly she is. I am hoping there will be some sort of magical 'pulse' that fixes them up, as cliche as that might be. Either way, this world that you have created is something else and I wait eagerly to see how it pans out.

"No, no! No! By RUN I did not mean cower there on the floor. Stop clutching the blanket closer to you! Why if I was alive you would be in so much trouble missy. You can hobble, so hobble for your life! I need my conversation partner in one piece!"

That's some amazing worldbuilding you have there, only complaint I have is that Lyra hand thing, It's overdone and should only belong in comedy.

5192906 Thanks. Considering these chapters were the ones that faced the most criticism in the original version, I'm glad you like it.

5195817 Since unicorns practically base their everything around magic I thought they'd end up in a rather bad shape without out, both in body and reception by society. :twilightsheepish: As to the ending, that's still 36+ chapters away, so I hope the journey will at least be fun. And if not, we got punch and cookies by the door. :eeyup:

5197232 In my defense, this was my first try at writing with the show characters and since it was 2012, this hand thing wasn't as overdone as it is today. It will get a suitable explanation later on, however.
iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/421534__safe_solo_animated_lyra_cute_wat_upvotes%2Bgalore_lyra%2Bheartstrings_scrunchy%2Bface_spinning.gif

5197288

Didn't see the date, as long as nothing major is involved with the "human myth" thing it's fine. I do hope you make Twilight badass in this fic though.

Ya 5197288 I figures as much, but I do have my own theory around that. I like the idea that they still have magic inside them so when they are unable to use it, it starts killing them or making them sick, I'm going to dub it 'magic glut' or 'plethora magic.' This is an extremely dangerous thing for powerful unicorns like Twilight who have a lot of magic. Then there is Trixie who I believe is an average unicorn (moderate amount of magic) so while she has plethora magic, it's not as bad as Twilight's. I have more on this, but I'm going to have to sit down and think about it more.

As far as the chapter amount I think that's good that you have a estimation, I just hope you don't start going back to chapters and editing them I hate when authors do that. It's like; "I already read that chapter, I don't want to go back and reread it because you thought Spike needed a cameo." Anyways, hope you get a constant schedule for your release dates, but I don't want that to influence the chapter quality. Anyways, best of luck my wayward author.

Trixie resenting Twilight, well that's nothing new, one might even call it cliche. I hope Twilight and the others can still get there magic working.

Eyyy Gad! Put it into Rarity coloration and my eyes are falling out. Fix please?

Good chapter otherwise, though.

Damn, a world eater... that's some bad mojo. Those things only show up when your world is on its last legs.

God the cliffhanger is strong in this one.

Interesting, you turned Canterlot into a crappy area of NYC:facehoof:

5206282 The eye-thing is a remnant from the original version which I overlooked, thanks for pointing it out. :twilightsheepish:

As for Trixie's colors, she's piebald, hence the odd coloration.

Sorry for not commenting on the other chapters, but your story has its fangs in me and is pulling at a rapid pace.

Great job so far, I can't wait for the next chapter!

I've been seeing this story pop up from time to time but have only just got around to starting it.

What a dreary world... And it only took a chapter to establish it, which is great. Should be interesting to see where it goes from here.

another voice saying that they needed to go to the hospital.

:facehoof: Brilliant deduction there Holmes, a little late though. Isn't the hospital a bubbling pit of molten slag?

She just has to connect with magic again to not die, but the question is what will the consequences of that be this time?

Wow, okay, I'm sold. I'm going to cast my guess now that the "wise old goat" is Discord. Don't know why, but I don't have any better guesses.

ferret Have you not thought about the possibility that they are unaware of the fate of the hospital?

5207457 5210950
Actually, Octavia informed Twilight in the last chapter of the hospital's fate. I included the line to create a sort of dissonance, since this chapter is basically Twilight blissfully attempting to forget the plot. The earthquakes, the whole magic-thing, having witnessed an adult get murdered and then she finds out that the place she considered more of a home than her actual home got wrecked. She's very much in denial about that.

Oh. Is that all. Just half the city.

... And why are they still in the city?

5211007

Oh I thought it was another pony's voice, like the ones panicking and shouting around her. But really, in her state of mind at the end of the chapter it's doubtful that she could tell the difference between a real voice and a delusional head voice.

I am absolutely enthralled by this. Got to Chapter Nine and got really sad when I couldn't hit next. Fantastic world building and well written characters. It rather reminds me of the world that the Mistborn trilogy is set in, for whatever reason.

So, is this whole thing (a rewrite, from what I gathered) already completed? These updates are coming out super fast. Which is awesome.

Really a beautiful story. :pinkiehappy: It excites the hell out of me. :pinkiegasp:

Have I ever said how much I love this yes I have

I will review this in-depth sometime

Then Twilight’s legs gave in, the strength leaving them without as much as a hint.

so

She quickly threw her eyes around Twilight’s neck,

arms or legs
Also noticed you had Twilight hope Luna would gobble up her sickness, and later Nightmare Moon, not sure if you intended to switch between them.

damn this is good. The best I have read in a while. You're world-building is great. Can't wait to read more.:pinkiehappy:

Still loving this fic, but this chapter was not as good as the others. A ton of typos, and on top of that there were stylistic mistakes. Probably just wasn't proofread enough.
Also, I just realised this is a rewrite. I feel kinda dumb now :twilightsheepish:

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