As a little filly taking a high-stakes entrance exam at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, Twilight Sparkle cracked under the pressure.
Ever since that day, she's had an imaginary friend named "Spike."
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- Member Since 23rd Apr, 2020
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
Mockingbirb
A pony of mystery in the darkness. Or I forgot to take the lens cap off. (They/them is fine.)
Mockingbirb
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This is equal parts fascinating and heartbreaking. And more than a little terrifying given the sheer callousness and fearlessness of Diamond Tiara. She thwarted a mad god, you silly filly. Do you really think antagonizing her is going to end well?
Thank you for an engaging, strange tale.
(Also, given the incredible strength of Twilight's magic, I find myself wondering if Scootaloo might one day find that the dragon costume doesn't come off...)
Ummm...how is this story a comedy? It's very dark and sad. 😥
11763596
I thank you for your thoughtful feedback, actually.
I just changed the tag.
11763589
DRAGONS ARE REAL
11763593
Thank you!
Also, imho you offer an interesting sequel idea indeed!
I guess my own take on Diamond Tiara's behavior is that it might be cruel and foolhardy, but she at least rationalizes that she's doing 'the right thing to help Twilight in the long run.' I just don't have to agree with Diamond about that.
A well written piece. Kind of heartfelt yet disturbing that Scootaloo is lieing to Twilight even if it is to help her mental stability. Hopefully we will see a sequel where she finds a way to come clean without ruining Twilight’s mental health. Staying as Twilight’s brother can’t be good for either ponies’ long term mental wellbeing.
I was going to comment that subject matter in this story isn’t comedic but its already addressed.
Now I'm imagining canon Spike stumbling into this universe because of one of his Twilight's experiments or something like that, and triggering a wave of existential dread in the inhabitants of this Ponyville. Or possibly Spike questioning his own existence.
11763624
11763604
Omg these are both great ideas where either Scoots becomes a real dragon or an alternative spike shows up and either one causes the ponies who doubted her to freak out.
11763684
"So, either Twilight's delusions have grown so powerful that they are reshaping reality around her and manifested her imaginary friend into existence, or her madness is catching. Either way this does not bode well for us."
11763796
I was more thinking she transforms scoots into a dragon.
Wow, this concept is a perfect fully formed gem. reminds me of asylum
by the way, scootaloo's mane isn't red
I'm on board with Diamond wanting to fix Twilight's mental illness but it wasn't the best way to do it.
A literal town indulging in Twilight's mental illness rather than helping her with therapy is also not great.
I like the idea, but the pacing is too fast. Each section of this story should be given one or more chapters at least.
Reading this just feels like you're getting bounced around between different bumpers of exposition. Oh you're scootaloo in Ponyville, oh the librarian is cool, oh she has a tragic backstory, oh let's talk to an adult about this, oh i have a tragic backstory, oh spike is dead, ok i'm spike now the end.
You should really spend the time to flesh this out. It's a good idea but it needs to be around ten times longer (or more) than it already is. It'll make everything more believable and help make the drama more intense when the reader is given time to let things sink in rather than speedrun the entire plot.
11763859
The thing is, everypony in that town is themselves crazy.
This is a good story with an interesting concept. I nearly stopped reading during Scootaloo's conversation with Rarity, out of suspicion that elements from the late show had been included, but am glad I didn't, since they weren't. As it stands, the only thing I'd change are the creature words.
11763859
Maybe some slow steps to recovery would be better for Twilight. That would be pretty traumatic for any child to go through.
What an interesting twist and tale. I like it.
I definitely like the idea behind this, but thinking about it, it just feels incredibly messed up.
Twilight is suffering from a severe mental illness as a result of almost killing her parents as a child. Then DT decides to "murder" her imaginary friend (at least I'm assuming that's how Twilight would've seen it).
Twilight falls into a deep depression, so local orphan Scootaloo (whose parents are actually very recently dead) decides to pretend to be her imaginary friend and just kind of live in her house.
Like, maybe I'm imagining it, but just change a few things around and this feels like the plot to some horror movie.
someone write a horror version of this please
Funny and unsettling
This is well written, I like it a lot...
But it REALLY needs the "sad" tag, this is so incredibly messed up.
I personally find the pacing a little rushed, but wow is this story a piece of gem!
It was at this moment I became sure I have witnessed another brilliant piece from you. My, oh my. Such a peculiar but very much relatable resolution.
I wouldn’t compare this to precious silver, nor even gold. No, at the very least it’s as valuable as rhodium.
This seems horrendously unhealthy
So... I'm lost here. What exactly is the message of this story supposed to be?
Is it that we shouldn't affirm the delusions of people and they need to live in the real world, no matter how painful it might be for them? Or is it that people should be allowed to live in their delusions because they believe them to be the truth?
What exactly is the takeaway supposed to be here? Is Scootaloo and the rest of Ponyville supposed to be in the wrong for telling Twilight that she's not crazy? Or is Diamond Tiara supposed to be in the wrong for trying to make Twilight accept the cold hard truth of the situation?
This reminds me of an old Australian children's story called "Dot and the Bunny". Later turned into an animated movie. A heartmelting story that all kids of a certain generation will remember.
A girl called Dot is searching for a mama kangaroo's joey. All the time, she is being followed by an orphan rabbit who keeps trying to convince Dot that he is the lost joey she is searching for.
Finally, Dot meets the kangaroo and sadly tells her that her joey is lost, never to be found again.
Bunny walks away, crying as he realises he will never have a family. Kangaroo sees this and puts on a faux air of discovery. "There you are my joey!"
Kangaroo gets her Joey, Bunny gets his family.
Twilight gets her Spike, Scoots gets her family.
11764243
I feel the same way. Diamond Tiara is 100% not in the right for how cruel her methods were, but as for the rest of the town, they’re not doing anything good either. We essentially finish exactly where the story started, it’s just now Scootaloo is in on the lie. No one learned anything or progressed, it’s such a pointless narrative for a drama.
Edit: oh right, Scootaloo took advantage of someone’s mental illness to get herself adopted, man what a great character.
11763827
Spike is a hallucination.
And Scootaloo’s mane is now red.
What a weird story.
I like it!
For those asking what the point is?… the horrible truth is I don’t think there is one. They likely have tried to cure Twilight of her psychosis for years, long before she came to Ponyville, to no avail. Do you think some local villagers are gonna do what Canterlots best couldn’t? Worse still, they NEED Twilight to be functional, as she an element of harmony, never-mind her extreme magical power probably scares many of the locals too… This was an imperfect solution to two major problems, sometimes there isn’t a cure all to fix everything properly… Scootaloo seems happy at least…
11763798
It could be left ambiguous. Leave little bread crumbs here and there that suggest Scootaloo and the townsfolk aren’t doing too hot in the head. Just enough to suggest the idea.
Twilight is magically powerful. And spells that alter the perception of a pony aren’t unheard of — Sombra enchanted a doorway in the Crystal Castle to make a pony think they’re living out their worst fear when in reality they’re just standing there and staring at an empty door.
I’ll be honest I thought this was going be where; Twilight had hatched spike and accidentally placed him under a really good invisibility spell which would eventually break later in this story
A lot of this comes out of left field. I think that the whole "suddenly I got an imaginary dragonfriend called Spike" moment could very well have lasted longer. I don't mean you writing more words on it. I mean the moment. I felt like that specific moment should have been for lack of a better word "frozen" and told from Twilight's POV. No talking just the continuously escalating haziness of Twilight's mind twisting things around like static on a TV appearing for just a second.
Some of the events that "Spike" did are a bit too unbelievable for me as well.
Again another thing that kinda came out of left field is Diamond Tiara's actions although I could see it justified. Then there's Scootaloo's case which... I dunno again was a sudden shift of a subject that came out of nowhere. I mean it's relevant sure but again, out of nowhere.
It's a good idea but I expected a bit more. Anyway good luck on your writing!
11764496
Agreed or absorbed him into her magical core so he could still work out of it like a ghost
Oh wow... lots of questions from this, wowie... great concept and great job writing it! I'm just... eeesh poor Twilight
11764627
Poor Twilight indeed. Deeply emotionally/mentally disturbed, and everyone in town is lying to her and exploiting her for their own needs. All the while she remains no more than one bad day away from killing everyone in town.
Forgive me if I'm being too critical (which I hope I'm not coming off as cause I do see potential in this.) but I think you should put how Sweetie and Bloom know about Twilight's condition. You could put that The Mayor was informed by Celestia herself and issued a Town Meeting to get everypony up to speed on their new librarian prior to her coming to Ponyville, or just have the 5 of the mane 6 figure it out before or during there quest to stop Nightmare Moon and quickly inform everyone else about Twilight's condition.
Along with that, I can see the ponies siding with Diamond on trying to get it into Twilights head that Spike isn't real. Don't get me wrong, her methods where only for her own amusement and is disgusting, but I can see all the adults thinking she's simply a little girl who just wants to help the local librarian by trying to have Twi understand and to see reason but had gone about it all wrong.
And then there's Scoots and her bright idea of pretending to be Spike for the rest of her life. That doesn't seem to be healthy for both of them. I think it would've been better if Scoots opened up and tell Twi how she understands what Twi's going through cause she's also dealing with her own losses as well. Twilight lost Spike and Scoots lost her parents. Afterwards Twi would open the door for Scoots and both embrace, sobbing in grief/mourning. Then epilogue about Scoots with Bloom and Sweetie about how her and Twilight are making things work and how nice it is to have someone to care for/cares for you.
Regardless, I do like the idea of a mentally ill Twilight Sparkle and wonder if anyone's tried doing a "Mentally Ill Mane 6" AU? Cause that's seems like it would be an interesting concept!
(EDIT: I'm adding more onto this cause the concept sounds so good and it won't leave my head!)
Twilight with her Schizophrenia; believing that most, if not all of, her magic is actually her imaginary friend, Spike.
Flutters could have some Anxiety Disorder a la Komi-chan; if I remember right, she was constantly bullied and made fun of for being a weak flyer:
Along with that, Rainbow did knock her off of the clouds when she was racing against the bullies to defend Flutters (Unintentionally, of course!), so that could've also further fueled or actually be the tipping point that caused her to have the disorder. Had it not been for the butterflies she would've died, and so is terrified of ponies (with the exception being her family).
Dash could have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder and her parents would most likely be the ones to be blamed for it as they always put her on a pedestal. This would explain her need to be better than everyone else as well as her need for attention as her parents would always shower her with nothing but praise, adoration, and how much of a winner she is.
Pinkie with a Bipolar Disorder. Obviously:
Rares could be either Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or a Hoarding Disorder. For HD, she does covet jewels/precious stones, even though they're common to come by as there is pretty much loads upon loads everywhere in Equestria. The OCD could be her need to put them onto her dresses/clothes or just a need to collect them.
and Aj...Well I got nothing on Aj, really...PTSD from witnessing her parents being eaten by Timberwolves when she was a child perhaps?
Yeah, I just looked at the tags was this not supposed to be a comedy? Because I thought it was hilarious.
11764778
Well, it’s not exactly a full AU but it is a mentally ill six story
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/384382/psyche-eval
11764895
Thanks for the link.
It was kinda funny.
I wish he wasn't :I
He never outgrew his self-centered ways... (Princess Spike - was the breaking point for me)
11764778
AJ could have severe depression (or PTS like you mentioned). With how often she's shown as a workaholic, even more so as seen in the show. One thing which would be simple is just her using work to "Hide" the fact she's depressed/struggling. It gives her a reason to avoid others, and an excuse on why she's "tired" all the time, etc.
11764349
"but as for the rest of the town, they’re not doing anything good either."
Here's the kicker though, Mental health is not simple and is in fact extremely complex. for something that twilight is going through, in her case the easiest thing and the only thing they could really do at that point is just go along with the delusion that spike is real. Because up to this point, its obvious that therapists and medications didn't work. Otherwise they wouldn't have been in that issue in the first place.
"No one learned anything or progressed, it’s such a pointless narrative for a drama."
There wasn't a plot point to 'Fix' twilight. It's literally a telling of a story of "Here's someone new in town, we need to tell her about so-and-so's Quirk/Mental disability as to not have future problems down the road" which is what the story set out to do and accomplished.
"oh right, Scootaloo took advantage of someone’s mental illness to get herself adopted, man what a great character"
Then enter the demon child (Diamond tiara) out to antagonize someone who has a severe mental disorder, and does so. Then, in response to said trauma, twilight locks herself in, grieving like a mother who just lost their child. So newcomer (scootaloo) after getting found out that they are homeless, pleads for them to not say anything. friends offer to have her over, politely declines saying she will think about it. Then goes on to mention how she feels bad for twilight, and goes i can help twilight by pretending to be spike. does so, and ends up taking it up as her responsibility to help 'care' for twilight. and while yes, we can both agree that, there definitely was partial motive for food and housing, its shown that her primary goal was helping twilight.
Its quite literally a form of the ends justifying the means.
Twilight needs spike to function > Diamond tiara destroys "Spike" > Twilight has a mental break > Homeless character realizes she can have a stable life by pretending to be spike for the rest of her life/or until the façade finally is broken > does that > both parties are happy. Twilight that spike is back, and that scootaloo will have food, shelter, and a semi-stable life.
11764936
She could have developed a Work Addiction as a means to cope with her loss.
Or Aj could have developed Separation Anxiety Disorder from the loss of her parents at a young age.
Plot Twist: Diamond Tiara is such a nasty filly that no one wants to be her friend, and Silver Spoon is nothing more than her own imaginary friend.
11764778
It's incomplete, but https://www.fimfiction.net/story/75199/asylum has this premise.
11763757 I have a better idea.
Twilight knelt over the doll's body, her forehooves gingerly touching where the head had been. "Spike! Speak to me, Spike. Tell me she didn't really do what it looks like."
"Spike's not here right now! He never has been here, and he never will be here!" Diamond insisted, as she dropped the lifelike head and stomped on it again and again.
"NOOOOOO!" Twilight's horn lit up, and she, Diamond and the doll vanished.
&&&
When Diamond awoke, she was strapped to a table in a mad scientists lab, along side the doll, which had been put back together, the head fused on with magic. "Hey, what's the big idea! When my daddy hears about this..."
"Don't worry, he won't. No-one will even remember you existed." Twilight sprang into view, crazed smile on her face and purple hair springing out in all directions. "You killed Spike, and now you're going to help fix him. I pieced the body back together, and have it under a stasis spell, so the tissues should still be viable. But I need a major influx of magic and life energy to restore his life force. Since you took his away, I think it's only fair that you contribute yours to replace it."
Diamond Tiara felt herself go cold. "You can't do that! You'll kill me!"
"Only technically. I'm drawing the energy from your entire lifeline, so as a side effect, it will remove you from everyone's memories, even their ability to see the effects you had. You can't die if you were never born in the first place. It will correct everything, even remembering Spike correctly. Even I won't remember what happened, not that I want to. It will even use your physical form to fill in any missing biology."
Diamond shattered, "Please... No...."
"Don't worry, you won't feel a thing! At least I don't think you will..." Twilight had built up a massive ball of magical energy at the tip of her horn with a ridiculously complex internal structure. She fired it at a parabolic mirror suspended over the table, and the last thing Diamond saw as she screamed in terror was whiteness.
&&&
"Whoa! Twilight? What the heck were we doing?" Spike asked, sliding off the table.
"Uhhh... Experiments?" Twilight said, looking puzzled.
"I hope I'm getting gems for this." He said, starting up the stairs.
"I'm sure Rarity has some nice juicy emeralds..."
As they went back into the main library, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were there. "Hi Spike!"
"Hi guys!" He picked up a few books, putting them on the correct shelves, and stepped in something. "Red paint? You haven't been crusading in here, have you?"
"No!" Apple Bloom exclaimed, "At least, if we were, we wouldn't have brought paint into the library."
"I'll get a mop and bucket." Spuike sighed.
"We'll help!" Scootaloo said, and all three exclaimed, "Cutie Mark Crusaders Library Cleaner-upers!"
Sweetie Belle looked at the paint and shuddered, "I'm glad it's just paint, for a moment I thought something horrible had happened to you. I don't know why though."
"The only way something horrible will happen is if Twilight comes in and finds paint on the library floor! C'mon!" He led the three off.
Deep inside him, the last remnant of Diamond Tiara raged helplessly, futilely. Her body reshaped, her mind mostly overwritten by an imagined personality and memories created by the madness of an archmage, even her history erased from the world around her, all she could do was watch as a fictional character made real lived a life she'd had taken away. Somewhat belatedly she realised that maybe tormenting an insane archmage under the thinly disguised cover of 'therapy' might not have been the most sensible thing she could have done.
A/N: TL:DR Twilight goes completely Lesson Zero on DT, and it couldn't have happened to a nastier filly. Spike is real, Twilight is (assumed) sane, and nothing of value was lost.
11765362
Thanks for that, yo!
Put it in read later, for now. It's a real shame it's dead.
Oh man I wasn’t expecting things to end this wholesomely. Good on scoots.