• Member Since 26th Sep, 2011
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Forget not that I am a derp.


This story is a sequel to He Come to Town

Brave Heart, former agent of SMILE, has found new purpose as the captain of the Twilit Guard.

He is also the only member of the Twilit Guard.

The only thing worse than that problem will be the solution.

Set during late Season 5. Cover image by ImAFutureGuitarHero, used with permission. No familiarity is needed with the sequel beyond the fact that Pony Link is working as a guard for Princess Twilight.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 50 )

I love that Brave Heart ultimately loses because Starlight breaks the conventions of a Zelda Boss fight.

I need to write a Metroid story sometime...

FoME, you madman. I'm pretty sure I sent the ducks floating in the lake I'm occupying into terrified flight with laughter at least ten times as I read that. Thank you for the afternoon mirth.

I wonder if there's a pony ganondorf

OMG, you absolute madman! You're a genius :pinkiehappy:
This was glorious! Starlight, you Big Fat DooDoo Head -_- If this ever turns into a trilogy, it'll be epic.

"She was very professional when we raided that Umbrum temple," said Brave.

"Uh huh. And how many of the relics went conveniently missing?"

That got a blank look. "Relics?"

Twilight sighed. "Exactly."

"No, you don't understand. That temple had no treasure whatsoever. All the chests held the usual bog-standard gems you can find in the trash, bombs, arrows, or copies of the same key -- brittle ones, too, you couldn't use them in a single door without them breaking. Well, I guess there was this set of horseshoes that let you walk on air, but only for a few seconds at a time. And also a giant drum in the basement, for some reason."

Bear Bone and Kamikazi are borrowed with permission from Banjo64, specifically from Undead Robot Bug Crusaders, one of the best stories on the site whose title can be sung to the tune of the old TMNT cartoon's theme song.

Okay that wasn't just me who thought that.

That was fantastic from start to finish :rainbowlaugh:

...I associated Blazkowicz with Wolfenstein rather than Doom. That would have been...different :facehoof:

Loved the boomerang boss fight. Loved to see Samus. It's all excellent. Good job.

Canonically, maybe Tirek or Sombra? But if you're looking for Ganondorf as a pony, may I heartily recommend The Power of Freedom and its derivative works?

Dan #10 · May 23rd, 2022 · · 2 ·

I hate it when people call Doomguy "Slayer." He'll always be Doomguy.

And NewDoom is disappointing all style and no substance. Give me Project Brutality+Ultimate Doom Visor+Hell on Earth Starter Pack any day.

And speaking of Bombshell, I'm glad Ion Fury sold so well, despite the first game getting lousy reviews. Hopefully we get a third and the devs won't be so squeamish with the classic Build Engine brand of crass humor. I want to hear full Duke-tier trash talk from her.

Oh, wait. She's based on Samus and not actual Bombshell.

edit. Weird. It seems the demons don't spawn in the v2.03 redux update. But v3 works fine. Even though they keep taking cool stuff out with each commit. The deployable turret was certainly OP, but a lot of fun. And tossing the swarm pods through a teleporter.

That was a good story.

Already read em. I just wonder what a natural ponydorf would be like

After the mention of Grevali, I was expecting the other champions to show up (especially that merpony who has a crush on Brave Heart).

Bear Bone and Kamikaze are Banjo and Kazooie, right? That's one of the game franchises I know almost nothing about.

Doesn't expecting them not to be crazy make her crazy too?

I want to see the adventures of Twilight's new guard.

Your prose is awesome. Keep up the good work!

Was kinda hoping to see a pony version of Gordon Freeman, but this is still really good!

I’m just surprised Bombshell didn’t literally roll in. Though… she might have had to bomb jump up the front steps if she did.

She wasn't in uniform.

Or she broke it.
Samus needs a warranty for that suit.

That was glorious. Absolutely loved it.


Canonically, Doomguy is B.J. Blazkowicz's great-grandson. (Commander Keen's son).

And while everyone was horrified by the proposed mobile Commander Keen reboot, which quickly got cancelled, I kind of like the idea that Commander Keen had a twin son and daughter. The way I see it, Mobile-Keen grew up to be Doomguy, and his sister, Billie Blaze, went on to be Quake Ranger's mother.

I hope Doomguy was able to take his nephew fishing in the canals of Q3DM2 during a lull in fighting.

Or maybe Billie Blaze is the real name of Crash from the tutorial map. Although the in-game bio says she was Doomguy's military instructor. And that would be a bit weird if she was his sister. Of course, Quake 3 has never been considered canon.


Twilight already knows him. He isn't interested in joining the guard, and Twilight still has a grudge against him for the Trivia Trot rivalry.

Really, Brave should've known something was up when something like "Vengeful Equalist: Starlight Glimmer" didn't pop up. With appropriate music, of course.

Glad to hear it! I've been working on this one for a while, so I've honestly lost the ability to tell how funny most of the jokes are through sheer overexposure.

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I indirectly mention him in the prequel; an immortal camel warlock with a strange tendency to turn into a giant pig.

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If Twilight ever does mobilize her forces in earnest, she'll need to recruit some Fire Emblem characters to manage the lot of them.

... You know, now that you say, that, ponies finding gemstones just by mowing their lawn doesn't seem that far-fetched.

I've never able to resist humming the theme whenever Banjo updates.

Mecha-Pony-Hitler would be quite the sight. Crystal cyborg Sombra, maybe?

Heh. You're actually not the first person I've seen mistake one Bombshell for another. That confused someone in one of my frequented Discord servers.

I considered listing them out, but it didn't feel natural. But yes, the bashful seapony healer is as necessary as the badass camel who spits lightning and the boisterous, invulnerable Diamond Dog.

They are, yes. The N64 titles were fantastic action platformer collect-a-thons. We don't talk about Nuts & Bolts.

Everypony in that town is crazy. Twilight never excluded herself.

Don't be ridiculous. Why would a thaumophysicist want a guard position? He's probably more interested in studying the mirror portal. It's perfectly safe, after all. The possibility of the override device causing a resonance cascade is extremely unlikely.

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Never check your new office for bomb-breakable blocks during the job interview. Wait until the first paycheck clears at minimum.

Oh come on, do talk about Nuts & Bolts. It has its weaknesses, but no game where you can create a glider that lets you eject a motorbike from it deserves to be completely written off.

Those characters here do feel more off than the others, but I suppose that's a casualty of being a reference of a reference.

I think the main problem people have with Nuts & Bolts is that it's a Banjo Game. Because on it's own merits, Nuts & Bolts isn't a bad game and does have some enjoyable things about it especially when it comes to the crazy vehicles people make within the game (some that make it look like the creators had way too much free time on their hands).

But as a BANJO game, it's more of a black sheep of the series. Even the GBA games had some semblance of Banjo in them. One was a collect-a-thon albeit a short and easy one and the other was a plane racer featuring locations from Kazooie & Tooie with some of Grunty's Revenge mixed in I think (been a while since I last played it).

With Nuts & Bolts on the other hand, you could easily replace all the banjo elements of the game with something else and it wouldn't be as badly scorned. Because again, I believe the main issue is that it's licensed as a Banjo Game but you can easily replace all the Banjo Elements with something else and the game wouldn't suffer a thing.

She might actually be the craziest.....


What would the lyrics even be?

They aren't the world's most fearsome filly teens and they aren't fighting an evil shredder.

Oh dear, now I'm trying to envision a full lyrical tune concerning them. Drat and bother.


That Tempest is from another of your stories or just a call out?
Do like the story, it's friggin' hilarious.
Luna's so coming for an interview once she retires c from princesshood, isn't she? :rainbowwild:

Brave Heart's griffon friend... he owns a brewery, doesn't he? I think I've seen his advertisements.

They all say "Grevali's Ale is now ready."

Cool follow-up to the first story. Interesting to see how you fit all these other characters into a setting like this. Now for the next one you're gonna have to do Smash Brothers.

I really like the brief POV of Starlight in the early story. I'd be interested to see more of how her mindset changed from this equality-obssessed worldview you portray to her season six personality. It's an aspect of her character development that the show sorely underexplored.

Warhorse of Fortune

Stealing this.

This was a nice story just like the first one. Those guards are certainly suited to Ponyville and I love how the first pony was one Daring Do's enemies trying to fool Twilight.

What 11250279 said. It's great as an abusable physics engine, but that's not what I want from a game starring the bear and bird.

It's a distinct possibility!

And Sweetie had better not be doing machines before the fourth date.

Tempest isn't from any story in particular, just an unspecified point in the future. Luna will likely try independent adventuring before signing on with the crown's forces.



Now for the next one you're gonna have to do Smash Brothers.

Given the Accord comic arc, Discord is clearly both Master Paw and Crazy Claw.

Starlight learning how to sincerely adapt to society rather than trying to force it the other way around is definitely an area worth exploring. No promises there, but it could certainly be fun.

And I take it you didn't like Party Cannons & Ammo quite as much? :raritywink:


And I take it you didn't like Party Cannons & Ammo quite as much?

I just know which of the two would be more appropriate for a certain mercenary company to place increasingly desperate and unhinged advertisements in.

Further note: the Cyberdemon's prosthetics are canonically replacing bits it lost to the Wolfenstein protagonist back when it was known as the Harbinger of Doom. It has something of a grudge against the Blazkowicz family as a result.

On thinking about it, the best way to square what was stated here with Chrysalis' official origin is to combine Mother Brain and Dark Samus into a single character and successful attempt at creating an artificial changeling queen... which turned out to be a terrible idea. To further twist the knife, the Reformation could potentially have happened earlier if Bombshell had actually told anycreature what happened. (I'm not necessarily saying that Thorax is The Baby, but in combination with the rest of these suppositions it'd be a good explanation for forming memories immediately upon a now scare-quotes-earning "birth" and some version of Samus deserves a happy ending godsdammit.)

Great speech on Stealth and explaining ponies!
I thought Brave was gonna win, and Starlight got stopped by Twilight before the time fight, but nope. That would've been hilarious tho.

Such a good battle! And banter!

Then I got to the first interviewee. If she's making Brave Heart, a married stallion, into incoherent blubbering and Twilight's compromise is Red Light District...

My first thought was, "Brave Heart's married. But he can still appreciate. And wow."

Then I'm like, "She walked through Ponyville. Is there gonna be a line of angry wives / girlfriends at Twilight's door?"

Had to make a comment before I lost my thoughts.

Woo! All them crossovers! I spotted them all! Awesome mainly female adventurers! Fitting for MLP!


'inappropriate recreational activities.'

Given what I just learned from this chapter's comments and Wikipedia, I'm like, "Well, that's an interesting way for the Blazkowicz line to continue."

I assume that Twilight hasn't been briefed on the Friendship Games, or the existence of these counterparts is staying in the back of her head until they leave the room, then they'll move to the front.


weere > were

i'm upset at myself that it took til the end of the story to figure out who Bear Bone and Kamikazi were

Came back here for the Metroid references and everything else. Cool stuff!


one last issues > one last issue

That prompted a wary look at the stallion. "Genially insane?"

Why, yes, Miss Pot, Mr Kettle is looking a little charred there.

Also, little surprised ol' Doom Slayer'd wanna be around Twilight too much, given her reputation for magical experiments. It's only a matter of time before there's an accident and, well, then he'll be radioactive! That can't be good!

Well, that was a load of fun. Not having read the referenced story yet, did not predict B-K having turned undead, but it... weirdly works. I mean, if nothing else, given how many creatures they've met must have wanted to kill that gloriously smartarsed bird, not to mention the many who tried... kinda makes sense.

Only real problem with a story like this is that your mind starts thinking about all the other possibilities for candidates. Though, to be fair, the first one I thought of wouldn't have worked, as having another purple baby dragon whose name start with 'Sp-' could cause problems.

Yeah, Spyro doesn't enter the picture until the succession crisis where Ember decides she's done acting as Spike's regent—you can't just give away the title of Dragonlord—but can't tell the two of them apart. (Turns out that given the sheer diversity of dragon body types, most dragons end up with some degree of prosopagnosia; they don't need to register the finer details in order to recognize one another, but then you've got two purple males who are both well-meaning idiots* and... Look, it's not Ember's fault, that's her story, and she's sticking to it.)

*A more direct translation of the Draconic word for "hero."

Later, Brave Heart and Bombshell are talking about other ponies they know about. They mention a pegasus who's an exceptional archer but tends to be a flank-kisser for Princess Celestia and has some problems with punctuality. He always saying "Sorry to keep you waiting.", among other things.

There's also another pegasus named Blue Falcon who despite being almost as fast as Rainbow Dash, didn't want to join the Wonderbolts. Instead, he participates in more dangerous races while also doing some bounty hunting. He also loves a good fight, as he wants everypony to 'show him their moves'.

They then talk about these two earth pony brothers who aren't really guards, but do some really good maintenance work, especially when it comes to plumbing.

Then there's this mystery unicorn who's pretty good with stealth missions, and can somehow turn invisible just by using a cardboard box. They think his name is Cobra or something...

Finally, they talk about an old friend of Princess Luna. Nopony aside from the Princesses have met her, but it's said she uses dark magic, has a very stylish method of fighting, and if rumors are true, may not be a creature native to their world. It's also rumored that a mutual friend of theirs (some sort of bar owner) gave Luna some special weapons to use on her hind legs and she puts them to good use during a fight. Furthermore, it's said that she gets trophies made of pure platinum delivered to Canterlot as proof of her skill...

Bombshell later decides to visit Fluttershy to see if she can get a new pet. She was always partial to rodents for some reason, especially if they have the same color as her mane...

(Guess the characters I'm alluding to. You may not be surprised.)

I recognize most of them. (The third entries are even comics canon!) Not entirely sure about the first one, though.

Solid Snake(?), Captain Falcon, the Mario Bros., Bayonetta, and Pikachu (a.k.a. the tempestuous mungtooth.)

You don't know who the first one is? That's the pits!

Also, I thought of a concept where Pinkie Pie and Vinyl Scratch are secretly Special Combat Agents for a certain Planetary Secret Service headquartered on another planet, how wonderful!

YO cool someone wrought about this... Wait who told you?

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