• Member Since 4th Feb, 2015
  • online

Zontan


Nitpicking your math errors is how I show I care.

T

In the dreary city of Canterlot, all that remains of a once-mighty Equestria, Rarity is restless. She's a skilled machinist, owner of her own repair shop, but the work is dull and lifeless. She longs to feel like she's important, like she's making a difference, like she could be somepony.

And with the griffon army continually threatening Equestria's security, there's no better way to contribute than to join the Royal Canterlot Army. They're always on the lookout for skilled engineers, and with her talent, it's not like they'd make her actually fight anypony... right?


This story is a prequel to Lover of the Moon, but they can be read in any order. Originally written for the first Quills and Sofas Expanding Universes contest, where it won first place.


Many thanks to Silent for creating such a fun universe to play in, and for inspiring this story. This story is posted with their permission.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 14 )

IT'S HERE!!!! Oh gosh, I've been excited for this ever since you showed me the fic a year ago (oh stars, it's been a year and maybe a bit more, hasn't it???), and here it is! This is one I'm always gonna keep coming back to for inspiration. It's the best possible backstory for Rarity, and I absolutely adore it!

Ooof ouch, my heart. The ending still hits just as hard as it always did, despite knowing it's coming this time. Good stuff!

ouch...

I guess we know which element is missing, then...

awesome story mate keep it up cant wait for the next storypinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

Great as the first time I read it. You do a great job with the setting, Rarity's character, and establishing a great emotional and character arc with it. Fantastic stuff.

Damn Zon. You know how to pack a punch.

All of the pieces of this are so delicious. Rarity as an engineer. Rarity as an ARMY engineer. Not only that, but Rarity ENJOYING being an army engineer (like it makes so much sense when you lay it out the way you did but.... it's obvious not what you would expect). The interactions between Rarity and Rainbow Dash. The depiction of Nightmare Moon. The wrestling with killing or being killed. The final sacrifice.... It all comes together so brilliantly.

This is such an excellent intro (for me) to the other half of this universe. I adore the way you've shown us some every-day scenarios, while still giving us the plot and the backstory and the emotional depth needed to make this ending work. It's amazing how much is packed into this little piece, and yet it doesn't feel at all rushed or muddled. The quicker paced parts read like montages, while the dialogue heavy sequences are just dripping with great character.

I also really love how you initially paired RD with a Fluttershy-esque character. I know it wasn't a big part of the story, but the idea that RD will always find "the Fluttershy" to protect is just... Really warm. Like that's a universal part of her character. Idk, I just love it. Another smaller thing I enjoyed was Cadance as a military leader. I'd love to dig into that a little more :3

All in all, wonderful piece. This version of Rarity is just so enticing to me, and she shines brilliantly here. Amazing work as always, Zon <3

Holy bruh.

Immaculately written story. It's one I will remember for a while.

Solid. Who doesn’t love a good switch up?

There is no such thing, by definition, as a neat maretini.

Sequel when?

Definitely adding this story to my fanfiction library. I know this is tied to the story "lover of the moon" but I would love to see more of this story if possible. A couple of questions that occurred to me after reading this story

Why does General Cadenza seem so bitter?

If I remember correctly Pinkie, Twilight, and Fluttershy are moon ponies which means possibly meeting this world's version of Applejack and family?

Holy hell this was good!!!

Devastatingly effective. (Let’s just ignore how Dash is tagged in Children of the Sun. And on the cover image. :raritywink:) Excellent and stark portrayal of the state of this Equestria, and of how Rarity got to where she is at the beginning of Lover of the Moon. And Nightmare Moon announcing herself with “Be not afraid” is icing on the cake. Thank you for this.

Login or register to comment