• Member Since 29th Jan, 2019
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Solar Force


I am the force in Madforce Entertainment

T

Unable to handle the pain of betrayal after the Anon-A-Miss incident, Sunset Shimmer has left Canterlot High School behind, and, wanting to get as far away from her old life as possible, has moved half way across the world to begin a new life in Domino City, Japan. As she starts her first day at her new school, Domino High, she has no interest in making friends.

That is, until she meets a young boy named Yugi Muto, a boy obsessed with playing games, especially a popular card game called Duel Monsters.

Little does Sunset know that this fateful meeting will be the start of her new life, with new friends, new adventures, new enemies, and her new role in the rise of the future King Of Games.


A/N: This story will be a mix of the 4kids Dub and the Japanese version of the Duelist Kingdom arc.

FEATURED: 29/09/2020 My very first featured story!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 53 )

Did you really have to drag that comic that shall not be named into this? I get it's too get Sunset away from C.H.S.

But there has to be an easier way to do it, instead of forcing the whole school to swallow the stupid pill like IDW did.

10455873
To be honest he could of done worst.
The Anon-a-Miss

I really like the story so far. Keep up the good work!

10455873
Sorry if this upsets you, but I'm not changing the story at this point. However, I would like to know what you would have written instead?

10455898
Thank you very much!:heart::yay:

looking forward too more chapters and hopefully seeing sunset duel in the future!:pinkiehappy:

10455914
So you glad you enjoyed it!:heart::yay: Don't worry, Sunset will Duel but you'll have to wait and see wait deck she will use.

Solar Flare, an Question: Didn't I read a simpler story like this in the past months?

I like to see the Human Mane 5's dumb faces when they learn that Sunset is INNOCENT! And the CMC were the Real Anon A Miss.

Plus, how would the Rainbooms, CMC, Principal Celestia and Luna, and the Entire CHS School react on seeing Sunset having new friends and participate in Mr Pegasus Duellist Kingdom Island.


P.S. How would they react of seeing REAL LIFE Duel Monsters, the horrifying and deadly death penalty in the Shadow Games. And the Millennium Items ( The Puzzle, The Ring, and The Eye)

to tell the truth I'm not much of the brony type that is used to reading this type of story but to be honest it is interesting and as a fan of yu gi oh especially fanfiction I see that this story is very promising.
and asks, at dusk falls in love with Pharaoh?

Can't wait for more chapters. :)

I definitely prefer this version to your “competitor”. My only complaint is that this chapter was basically canon Yugi oh episode 1 with sunset just cheering from the sidelines, but I’m assuming more will change as the story progresses.

I do, vastly, prefer this version. Still, there are a few things that you can improve on. First, please don't put artist notes inside the text of the story, it REALLY breaks the narrative. Secondly, though it isn't an issue yet, the first chapter just felt cannon without any difference. Sunset's role felt... meaningless, at this chapter. No call out with Yugi using magic at the end, and Tea just kinda shrugged Sunset's attitude off. They all did. And she also kinda accepted them too quickly?

Eitherway, I'll follow this for a little while. Good luck with the upcoming chapters.

OMG! I only just found out! This story just got featured!! :heart::yay::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile::raritystarry: I've been waiting forever for this to happen! Thank you all so much!! This is better than I could have hoped for!

I have read both stories with this one and the other one by Madforce Enterrainment.
Madforce's version kinda changes things by introducing a different character to keep an eye on Sunset and using the japanese names of the characters, while in this one it feels like watching the first episode of Yu-gi-oh just with Sunset Shimmer involved with the story.
Personally, I prefer this story mostly because I like how the friendship is formed with Sunset and Yugi's friends and I like how its presented. Hopefully Sunset would get a chance at some duels and I would want to see if she can change up narrative in her own way.

10456611
Remember it's early days yet, but Sunset's presence will cause some key differences to how the original story went later on. I've actually already got one big change in mind that will occur in the next couple of chapters. Just wait and see.

I like this story so far!
Could I suggest this format for stats? The brackets to make the numbers look like the boxes in the show, and parenthesis for math.

When a monster is summoned:
Dark Magician [ATK 2500 | DEF 2100]

When a monster's ATK/DEF changes:
Saggi the Dark Clown [ATK: (600 x 3) = 1800]

When Life Points changes
Yugi [LP: (900 - 500) = 400]

10456494
Yes there will definitely be some changes which will come about because of Sunset being there. Also this story won't entirely follow the 4kids dub. There will be points where it will revert back to the original Japanese version of events. I've loved Yu-Gi-Oh! for such a long a time, but it wasn't until years later that I found out about all the changes 4kids had made, and I wasn't too happy. So if there are points where you think that didn't happen in the episode, it's probably what was meant to originally happen.

Awesome job keep up the good work

So is sunset going to be the king of games or what

10456534
I think Sunset was just too happy in that moment to really care about calling him out on using magic. As for the notes you won’t be seeing anymore of those. There will be differences in the story because of Sunset’s presence. And if you really felt like Sunset becoming friends with Yugi and the others was too rushed, how would you have done it?

Well hope you make some changes and not follow canon all the way thru.
I seen the series and read the manga, and i just skipped over most of this chapter as Already know what happens so it was pretty boring to me.

So hope you do add some new stuff, otherwise this be a boring story to me.

Also want to ask, Was Susnet's name cleared before she left or was she stillf ramed?
I prefer she was cleared but left out of spite and anger, wanting tos tart over. leaving the others looking on in dep shame.

10456534
10456738

Why the HECK would Sunset call out Yugi/Yami on using Mine Crush anyway? Kaiba was a Major Asshole, and he deserve that punishment. Besides, THAT'S how Shadow Games Work.

10457141
Addressing the magic part, first.

Sunset is a being of magic, from a world filled with magic, now in a world 'supposedly' without magic. She wouldn't call Yugi out on using magic, but it is something she, at the very least, would note. She hasn't experienced human magic, which was thought to never exist, so regardless of Kaiba's actions she'd still notice. And, yes, that's how the Shadow Games (well, the dub version) of Shadow Games work, but again, SHE'D NOTICE THE MAGIC. Regardless of Kaiba's actions, her feelings on Yugi and his group, it's just who she is. Not to mention, it'd be hard to not notice Kaiba losing his mind; the wails of agony and despair from the torture created by the outcome of the shadow games.

10456738
Sunset's reaction and interaction with Yugi's friends is a lot more complicated. Sunset has just had her entire world turned upside down, friends who she thought would stay by her through thick-and-thin ended up betraying her and completely destroying her life. I think, initially, you started off right. I do think she'd be combative with others at the beginning while also feeling extremely guilty for doing it. Hence, she acts harsh then immediately apologizes. She'd be under a lot of stress from moving cross the world, and living by herself. She'd be more distrustful, or at least skeptical, about everything so I just highly doubt she'd be willing to accept everything from Yugi's group right off the bat. It's a give-and-take scenario.

To be honest, if I were to do a Yu-Gi-Oh crossover with Sunset, I'd base it off the manga... and start right at the beginning and include all of the things the anime left out, such as the attempted rape of Tea, Yugi lighting the dude on fire, the capsule monster bit, and more. But that's just my personal preference- and not really involving this story. lol Anyway, Sunset herself could have modified the first chapter- probably not too much, but still enough to make it different.

Anyway, like I said, I'm gonna follow this story a little more. It has potential, and I'm curious to see how you take it.

Also, on a side note, did you write in that she had her pendent? It sounded like she had her mind-reading pendent. Also, I'd probably include just how she got to Domino City to begin with. Maybe not a backstory chapter, but have her at least talk about it.

“And they say you learn nothing from watching anime,”

You are in an anime Sunset.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

This a good, interesting start for this story. It's kinda similar to Tatsurou's PWNY-verse and my own Twilit Traveler series (which isn't a pony fic, it's over on Fanfiction. net). I'm looking forward to seeing Sunset duel and what exactly she does elsewise to change things up. I'm also really glad you went with the dub names and dialogue, and will just add in scenes that 4Kids censored or removed entirely. I didn't watch Yu-Gi-Oh much as a kid, mostly from lack of access to it (and I think Duel Monsters was already over by the time I could've caught it on Saturday mornings), but I've only exposed myself to the dub and I prefer English-speakers to stick with English-version character names (at least outside of games like Fire Emblem Fates, where a lot of English-version names are just cut-down versions of the JP names) when writing, especially in a case like this where a character from a western show is placed into the setting of a Japanese show that has been localized.

10456644 I also feel this person has the right idea concerning how to handle duels. I think it's very important that we see the stats of the monsters directly in-story. I can understand if you feel it's redundant due to the show and card game, but not every reader has the stats of all the monsters used in-show memorized, nor is it very fun or particularly immersive to have to look back at past chapters, episodes of the show, or even just browse the internet to find info on the card that was just played. Plus, the layout this person used is very self-explanatory.

On that note, I'd like to point out some mistakes you made in this chapter that you might want to look over:

“Hey,” Téa continued, “Since it’s now lunch break, would you like to have lunch with me and my friends?” She pointed across the classroom to where her friends were gathered, and Sunset saw the boy she had shouted at that morning, thinking she should apologize to him properly. This might be the chance she needed to make a proper fresh start. “Uh, sure, I’ll have lunch with you.”

You forgot to put Sunset's response in a different paragraph. It looks like Tea's putting words in Shimmy's mouth like this.

Before she could answer, the phone on the wall behind the counter began to ring, and Yugi went to answer it. “Hello? Game Shop.” A moment later, the others all turned to look at him as he gasped. “Kaiba?!” Another moment passed before he shouted into the phone in worry, “Kaiba?! What have you done Kaiba?!”

There should be a comma between "done" and "Kaiba" in Yugi's last line. Pauses like this might not be audible in the show, but in writing they are necessary.

“What?!” Sunset snapped as she glared at Kaiba in disgust. “Is this still about that card of Mr Muto’s?! Just look at him?! There is no way that playing some stupid card game caused this! What did you really do to him?!”

Remove the question mark from the bolded line. Also, there should be a period after "Mr" because periods in that context denote the abbreviation.

At this, Kaiba’s smug smile vanished in an instant, replaced by a look of utter shock and horror. “Ahhh!! Impossible!!” He cried in complete denial.

If you're going to write out a scream or shout in dialogue, it should be in all caps to convey that it's a loud, genuine scream. Compare:

"Ahhh!"
"AHHH!"

Also, you don't really need the sentence after his line; we can tell just fine that he's the one screaming even without the context of the original episode thanks to the context of the narration.

“Kaiba,” Yugi said as a symbol which looked like an eye appeared on his forehead. “If you truly want to know, I must shatter the evil in your head!” He thrust out his hand and shouted, “MIND CRUSH!!” A moment later, a dazed look crossed Kaiba’s face as he slumped to his knees. “There, Kaiba," Yugi said as he lowered his hand. "Now that I’ve smashed the evil within your head, maybe now you’ll begin to see.” He then climbed down from the platform as Sunset and Joey ran up to meet him.

Honestly, this paragraph is pretty good overall, but I feel it's a bit off to how the Pharaoh speaks.

Here's how I would've written this particular paragraph, just for comparison:

“Kaiba,” Yugi said as a symbol which looked like an eye appeared on his forehead. “If you truly want to know, I must shatter the evil within you!” He thrust out his hand and shouted, “MIND CRUSH!!” A moment later, a dazed look crossed Kaiba’s face as he slumped to his knees. “There, Kaiba," Yugi said as he lowered his hand. "Maybe now you will begin to see.” He then climbed down from the platform as Sunset and Joey ran up to meet him.

Granted, I've only watched a few episodes of the show and played a bit of Duel Links, so I might just be associating the Pharaoh with overly eloquent speech from unconscious bias. That said, the last line of your version could afford to be shortened like mine was. The first part of the line is redundant when the Pharaoh has already stated he'll "shatter the evil in [Kaiba's] mind".

There's a few other issues, namely a number of "Ok"s that should either be "OK" or "okay" and some words that I personally feel would be better emphasized by italics than caps, but nothing super big or anything that sticks out to me as particularly harmful to the overall story. Overall, I'm very excited to see where this goes.

I'll be honest, the beginning felt a little flat while the rest felt okish. It felt like it needed more reflecting on what Sunset was going through, being in a new land with a different culture from the one she had just adapted to.

10460827
???
I suggested a format to display stats for aesthetic purposes and examples of how it would look like in specific scenarios. I never mentioned anything about removing stats.

10461183
Umm... neither did I. The fic doesn't show the stats of the monsters at the moment, and I simply pointed out that showing them would help. I was wholeheartedly supporting your idea and providing evidence as to how it could help the story beyond aesthetics.

10461273
Ah I see, when you tagged me I thought your message was directed at me.

10461304
Sorry. :twilightsheepish: In hindsight, I should've just said your username. Weird thing is, that's usually what I do in the first place. Not sure what possessed me to do otherwise this time. Oh well, lesson learned.

Are you gonna update to some ?

I loved the concept of Sunset Shimmer going to the city of Yugi Muto.

I think that's the best way to make a crossover fiction, one character live at the city where the main character of the anime universe lives, and stay with him until the end of the anime.

I hope she somehow can use magic to not let Wevil to launch all the Exodia Parts over the see, or she somehow managed to take all of them, but they were too wet to use it, so she had somehow to find a way to recover them with the time...

I'm a big fan of Yugioh and I have playing a lot Yugioh Duel Links, maybe if you want one idea on what type of deck Sunset should use on the season 2 where you can tribute creatures and use effects. Aromage. That deck is really overpower in their own way. Every card has an effect when you receive life points.

I was looking for a good yugioh fiction, and you created exactly what I expected in the best way. Thank you so much.

10537155
You are very much welcome! Glad you enjoyed this story, and also, thank you for following me!:yay::heart: If you liked this story, how about checking out my friend's Yugioh crossover over at Madforce Entertainment, and also following my friend as well. I don't won't to give away anything, but we do have a plan for Weevil and the Exodia cards. You play Duel Links? That's Great! I've been playing it since the game launched, and I love it. As for Sunset's deck, I haven't decided on that yet, but the Aromage deck is a good suggestion.

10537184
awesome, please give me the links and your id account for me to add you as friend for we duel some times XD. I want to read all of them and I'm glad you are happy of knowing this. XD

10537192
My Duel Links ID is Dalek45. I've told my friend about you and he is sending you a link to his Profile so you can read his story.

10537223
Alright, I`m going to add you after I battle with Marrik, and I added your friend`s story at my read later, I will read it while going to work tomorrow. While I'm not fan of OC in a crossover fiction I can always give a try to good fans of yugioh XD

10537250
Thanks! I've already friended you. And FYI, this story will have OCs in it at some point. Hope this doesn't turn you off.

10537263
I asked him to add me as a friend on duel links as well, and we can battle XD.
We may need a way to we chat while we duel, maybe... do you have discord account?

10537306
No and I don't really know anything about Discord either. I almost never use social media. I hate it.

10537331
I understand, alright. I just wish we can chat on the duel links to we mark an hour to start a duel.

10539667
I am busy with other projects at this time. I've not forgotten this story, none of my stories are abandoned. Thank you for your patience.

Curious on what happens next.
Wonder if other MLP characters will show up too?

I feel like you need to tell us the ATK and DEF of any monster that shows up in a duel here, like showing it all of the time.
Not everyone can remember what a card is or at least their ATK/DEF value all the time.
Its easier to keep track of by telling us the ATK and DEF value of any monster that shows up in a duel rather than the reader relying on the character themselves saying it or the LP change to figure out what ATK/DEF does a monster have.

God DAMN!!! I love Yu-Gi-Oh!

10744696
Really? That's great! I love Yu Gi Oh too! I'm guessing you like it so far?

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