• Member Since 24th Sep, 2017
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago


I'm Commander Applejack, and this is my favorite website on the internet


A solar storm is raging across Equestria, the weather is going wild and magic is going haywire everywhere...
...and three fillies are sneaking through the most recent addition to ponyville, Twilight's crystal castle, looking for cool artifacts.

Unluckily for them, they find what they're looking for.

This is my third story, and second halo crossover, on here and I'm going to attempt writing it in first person, criticism is appreciated since first person is hard.

The cover art is made by Johnjoseco, I colored it in.
Source: derpibooru

Hope you guys enjoy!:twilightsmile:

Chapters (27)
Comments ( 480 )

Fan service can be legitimately cool, they aren't mutually exclusive.

the chapter is great can't wait for next update

An excellent start. Including Sunset upped the awsomeness for me. Looking forward to more.

Nice work. Though I'm a bit unsure why you added Apple Bloom's accent into her narration. It's a bit off-putting.

This looks like its going somewhere good! Can't wait to see what comes next!

Having AB narrate with her accent is... a struggle. It feels like there are a lot of grammar issues as well because of it. But, I'm looking forward to Sunsets role in this story so I'll be watching and waiting on this for now.

And off we go on a adventure

Yeah, I'm probably going to drop the accent in future chapters but that won't come up for a while as the next two chapters will be from Scootaloo's and Sweetie's perspective

I'm just wondering if the cmc will still be ponies in the human world. And if they meet their counterparts.

good chapter can't for the next update i hope the inspiration helps

Glad to see this pop up in my inbox.

Definitely :twilightsmile: I'm already working on chapter 2

Hopefully the next one will come a lot sooner :twilightsmile:

I hobbled over to my two friends and helped Scootaloo up on her back legs while Applebloom was giving shooting a glare in her direction, this was incidentally also the first time Scootaloo got the chance Scoots got to study our new bodies, "Sweetie? Where's your horn?"

Uhhhh... bit of repetition going on there. Might want to fix that.

Good chapter other than that though! Just hope you don't leave us on too many cliffhangers.

Good to see you back! Just remember, new speaker new paragraph. Otherwise it starts to get hard to read.

thanks for the tip, it should be a bit better now :twilightsmile:

Apple Bloom is two words.

Two possebilities exist: either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. -Arthur C. Clarke

Reminds me of XCOM EU, good days...

Anyway I like the story so far :twilightsmile:

Commander, you really need to start listening to some of the things that were said in the comment section for Helljumpers. You need to make a new paragraph when a different character is speaking. It melds together and confuses the hell out if people. Espescially when you have several different characters speaking to eachother.

No two speakers should be sharing a paragraph now, I'll put a post-it reminding myself to check that before uploading the next chapter.

Congrats girls, you're now Helljumpers. Say hi to Buck!

that opening quote is truly, the greatest of lines.

No medical eval in all this time?

I'll admit I took slight liberties here but that said, hiding any secret from ONI in the Halo universe is nigh impossible. Just ask Benjamin Giraud.

My Halo lore is rusty and outdated but I’m pretty sure humanity never went back to Harvest.

They actually did, Battlegroup X-RAY under the command of admiral Preston Cole engaged a Covenant battleship on the 1st of March 2526 in the second battle of Harvest losing 13 of his fleet's ships in the process.

Also at the start of Halo Wars Captain Cutter's opening speech contains these lines:

"Captain's report, February 4th, 2531. Five years, five long years. That's how long it took us to get Harvest back... At first it was going well... Then setback after setback... Loss after loss... Made what was going to be a quick and decisive win, Into five years of Hell."
"Of course, that's all Harvest really is today, It's Hell down there, but now it's ours again."


Halo Wats isn’t a real game. Microsoft made that up to troll RTS fans until Age of Empires 2 HD

I don't really care much about your opinion of the game, it's irrelevant to the argument. The game still produced valid Halo lore.


Dead or Alive 4 also produced valid Halo lore. So when are we going to see Apple Bloom kick a SPARTAN into a Warthog?

During her initial creation she was a non-canon character in the Dead or Alive and Halo series, and does not officially exist within the universes or stories of said series.

I think you mean the m45D while the base M45 is the one Emile used in Halo Reach. vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/halo/images/e/ec/HR_Render_M45.png/revision/latest?cb=20160511104159
And the opening line on the M90's design on Fandom is: The M90 Shotgun is a pump-action, magazine-fed, dual tubular non-detachable type weapon designed from the M45E Tactical Shotgun.

Also fixed that slight error.

I do have to say that I panicked for a bit because I've chosen the weapons very deliberately and was affraid I made a lore mistake :rainbowlaugh:

I just thought up a reason why that is, so I'll patch that plot hole somewhere in a future chapter :twilightblush:

Looking forward to the fireworks

They plan on Deserting at the first opportunity to head home Ionce they hit Harvest? I mean Its the impression I'm getting.

If so. They better hope they don't get caught. Most Military's don't take Desertion in war time very well. It tends to end with a lengthy imprisonment at the least and execution at the worst.

Wartime desertion is punishable by death in essentially every military although it's not always enforced. That little detail might become a problem in the future, won't it? :ajsmug:

well that's a start. I like the idea that solar weather could interfere with magic in general, and the portal in particular. I don't believe I've ever heard that one before.

All in all, I quite like this, a blend of classic CMC-mess-with-something-they-shouldn't-touch, and some fresh innovation. I look forward to seeing where this leads.

Welp i read the other one and now this guess i have to go back to looking at my feed in hope every 12 hours

Well, here they are. Welcome to Harvest girls, you won't be seeing much of it.

Though I wonder, how old do they appear to be? Humans and ponies don't exactly mature at the same rate, but I'm pretty sure that the CMC are in their very early teens, at the latest.

Alright, mid-teens then. Not technically old enough to enlist, but old enough to fake it in the time-honored tradition. Not that the UNSC recruitment officers are looking very hard by this point...

I quite liked the training segment, they've acquired some real competency there. If not loyalty...

Is this a sequel of the other story? I want to know if I have to read that first.

I recommend not using AB’s accent when she’s narrating. It just feels odd when you use it in her thoughts. I like the idea of the magic solar storm it kinda reminds me off the warp storms of 40k which I’m guessing may be the inspiration. I think you should call arcane solar storms that way their properly distinguished from normal ones.

Oh wow is this is the very beginning beginning.

So did girls retain the constitution of there pony bodies? Because if they did they would actually be physically stronger then most Spartans even with armor. You regularly see the CMC do frankly crazy shit like flash step and move several tons of material with ease. Not to mention fireworks they made with the power of artilery shells. Or how apple bloom apparently knows how to make a rocket booster for some reason.

Nope, though I've written another Halo story, this is its own universe

I already decided to ditch the AB accent, you weren't the first to point it out.

And let's just say I've burned the twelth black crasade a couple of times in playthroughs of Battlefleet Gothic Armada

They have some attributes of their pony forms: Scootaloo is much faster than most people and still has wings, Sweetie though physically more like a human but can use magic, and Bloom is ridiculously strong and maybe knows one or two things about explosives

I like this. 'Warrior's return' is one of my favorite tropes.

Login or register to comment