About your retirement plan...
Princess Celestia, the soon-to-be former ruler of Equestria, had faced many foes in her lifetime. King Sombra, Chrysalis, and even Discord had eventually fallen in line when push came to shove.
She’d watched empires rise and fall, chaos give way to order and hope, and her kingdom had become a beacon of prosperity under her rule.
All of that paled in comparison to what had to come next as she sat alone in her royal office.
A lump formed in her throat as a knock came from the door.
She swallowed it and spoke.
“Enter.”
“You summoned me, sister?”
Luna stepped into the room and smiled that brilliant smile that seemed to always ignite the constant ball of guilt in Celestia’s gut.
It had been years since Luna’s return, though. Surely Luna had forgiven her by now.
It didn’t make this any easier.
“Have a seat, sister.” Celestia nodded her head towards the plush chair on the opposite side of the mahogany desk.
“My, somepony is serious this morning.” Luna let a small chuckle escape her. “Is this about me finishing off the coffee again?”
Celestia paused, carefully weighing her next words and speaking deliberately.
“This is in regards to my retirement, actually.”
Luna slid into the chair across from Celestia and bit back a grin.
“I see. I assume you’ve picked out a replacement?” Luna asked coyly. “Somepony with years of experience in handling dire situations and court drama?”
“I have...” Celestia started.
“Well, I must admit, you did leave big horseshoes to fill. I’ll have my—“
“I chose Twilight.”
“—work cut out…” Luna trailed off, letting the sentence hang in the air as her face fell. “I’m sorry sister, but did you say young Twilight?”
“I did.”
“Forgive me for asking, but don’t you think there’s a certain royal pony who could step up into the role of leading Equestria?”
“About that,” now came the hard part, “After careful consideration of your duties and role in Equestria, I’ve come to the decision that we’re going to have to let you go.”
Luna blinked at Celestia, her expression flat.
“I’m sorry, Celestia, but I have surely misheard you. It sounds as though you’re trying to fire me from being a princess.”
“That is what I’m telling you, Luna.”
“Surely this is a jest.” Luna scoffed. “That one earth pony with the travelling show is going to jump out soon and say ‘Haha! Thou hath been prankethed!” Luna stood and began searching the room, presumably for hidden cameras. “Come out, Bastion Suture. We have figured out your tricks already.”
Celestia let out a long sigh.
“Luna, please stop. Bastion Suture has been dead almost a thousand years.”
“Now I know you jest.” Luna shot back, forcing a laugh.
“Luna, I took you to see one of his shows when we were fillies. Please have a seat and be rational about this.”
“Rational?” Luna growled at her sister. “Rational is appointing your sister your successor when you step down, not some upstart young noble you’ve developed a soft spot for!”
“Now,” Celestia continued without acknowledging Luna’s outburst, “regarding your 401k, I’m afraid you haven’t put in the required number of hours per year for you to have earned it, so unfortunately we aren’t able to release those funds to you.”
Luna paused and eyed her sister. “What is this For-Oh-Won Cay you speak of? I don’t recall purchasing an island.”
“401k,” Celestia corrected, “it’s a retirement package.”
“But you said you were firing me.”
“That’s correct, dear sister.” Celestia was beginning to regret handling this situation on her own. “Though, I prefer the term forced retirement.”
“Because that is so much better than being a fired princess.” Luna said, narrowing her eyes at her sister. “‘What do you do with your free time, Princess Luna?’, ponies will ask me. ‘Nothing,’ I say, ‘I’m forcibly retired!’”
“I apologize for the inconvenience, sister, but you haven’t worked enough hours to qualify.” Celestia picked up a stack of papers with her magic and shuffled through them until she found the one she was looking for.
“Here. This shows the number of hours you’ve put in since your return,” Celestia tapped a hoof to the paper where she wanted Luna to look, “and this is the average you need to qualify.”
Luna stepped closer and peered at the paper. “It says I have put in almost a hundred thousand hours since I returned.”
“That’s correct.” Celestia perked up. Maybe Luna could see reason after all. “You technically work all day.”
Celestia watched her sister’s gaze moving over the paper and waited for Luna to respond.
“Tell me, sister, how is it that I am supposed to put in one million hours of work in the decade or so since my return?” Luna’s voice was cold.
“Actually, you weren’t.” Celestia felt the lump forming in her throat again. “Unfortunately, I may have accidentally signed a law that considered every year you were designated as a royal princess to be a work year—“
“I don’t see how that’s a problem—“
“And you may have been considered a royal sister even while you were on the moon.”
Luna’s brow furrowed as she glanced upward, presumably to run the numbers in her head.
“Celestia?”
“Yes, Luna?”
“That is by far the dumbest law you’ve ever signed! Why would you do something like that?!”
“Luna, please let me finish.”
“Finish? I think you should have been finished ruling long ago if you were so incompetent as to require work from me while I was imprisoned on the moon!” Luna snapped. “Were I a different mare I’d have…”
Celestia let out a long sigh and let Luna’s rant fade into the background..
She had expected this sort of resistance from her sister. It was the sort of thing that Luna had every right to be right to be upset about. Being forced to abdicate the throne without any sort of monetary package in place would ruin most of the nobility.
Thankfully, she and Luna were not most nobility.
Celestia calmly fished out another small stack of papers from her desk and placed them in front of Luna.
“...and if you think I’ll step down so that Twilight-flipping-Sparkle can take over you’ve got—what is this?“ Luna asked as she finally noticed Celestia’s smug smile and the new papers in front of her.
“Your bank account statement.”
Luna’s eyes started widening as she read, finally taking her seat again.
“Part of the law requiring us to be considered working while we are considered princesses also means a royal account. One with a royal interest rate, if you catch my drift.” Celestia’s smile widened. She should have led with this part.
“That is quite a few zeroes.” Luna said, flipping to the next page. “A lot of zeroes!”
“And it’s already all yours.” Celestia reminded her gently.
“You mentioned something about retiring with you?”
“I did.”
“I’ve always said Twilight was a lovely choice for a successor.” Luna paused for a fraction of a second as a grin spread across her face. “We should go on a vacation, I hear For-Oh-Won Cay is lovely this time of year.”
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I’m getting Yamcha vibes here...
No but seriously why did Luna retire.
10348856
Literally no idea why she did in show, so I wrote a fluffy reason.
Nice spin there, Celestia. That's why you earn the big pony bucks.
10348859
If you'd paid attention in A Royal Problem, along with a lot of people apparently, Luna was working herself to, maybe not literal, death. And that was just after a short time back. Of course she'd get sick and tired of it all.
It's a nice story by the way.
10348868
But, from what I understood of that episode and the part with the list for the night, the only thing she seems to do is visit the dream realm and protect ponies. Luna doesn't rule at all, which seems pretty weird but makes sense in her not being the face of rulership, a princess in name only. That coupled with isolation making her NMM
Makes me doubt, if Luna even wants to rule at all.
Anyway, my point is, Even if luna retires she won't stop protecting dreams. Will still be overworking herself if she does not take care of herself.
Celestia seems like the kind of workaholic that would go insane.
Oh sure, just run some salt into the wound while you're at it, why don't you?
Probably should've.
Personally, I think the tale would've worked a tad better if it had just been about how Luna wasn't getting that 401k and the reasons why than how she was being forcibly retired, but it was still worth a read nonetheless, so I'd still call that a win.
10348868
Well, actually, according to the episode where they first announce their intent to retire, they explicitly state it was because they didn't have enough to do anymore, and so they felt that meant it was their time to exit stage left.
Whatever the given reason was, though, it was a little contrived, no matter how you slice it.
It would've worked better if they had built up to the princesses deciding to retire a little more beforehand, but so much for regrets, right?
I fully understand that this is a comedy story and i mean no disrespect to the author and the hard work put into this, but this just angered me for some reason and I don't know why, I just feel like Luna should have fought back more against being forced into retirement and being giving money to shut up about it. She has as much right to rule as her sister and more so then twilight. Once again, im not trying to offend the author or mean any disrespect
This was cute and silly fluff. Have a like.
This is literally the type of story I've been waiting for since forever. As in, she deserved another thousand years (isolation is punishment enough), but this also happens to be a good way to explain it.
Have a like and a favorite.
Plus, I like the constant spacing. Makes it an easier read.
One understands it is aimed to be comedy, but implications are a bit too hard to swallow. This, to me sounds like a starting chapter for a very dark story.
10349094
How so?
10349095
Well, if it were just the begging, Luna could for example to to court, explaining she should get another thousand years to rule (loneliness is hard), and the fight could go on. Therefore, the story continues on.
10349095
Well in my mind Celestia is once again making one sided decisions for Luna, sidelining her from the process completely and dictating to her the terms. She states as the initial move in the story that she does not meet standards of retirement and that she is just simply fired. Then she tosses her money to make the problem go away and she takes it since she has no other option does she? In my mind she takes the money with false cheer, it is a bone tossed at her and could be she does not have the confidence to challenge this.
In my mind she has swiftly demonstrated that Luna is the lesser light and that she should know her place under her in the hierarchy, offering one sided vulgar compensation. Even if Luna would be happy with the money and the retirement the implications will eventually dawn on her that she has no control once again and i am unsure how well that goes for her long-term positive life outlook. She might have the money, but once again she has been sidelined without input in quite cruel fashion.
But that is just my idle ramblings, likely i do not do good with comedy. Do not pay too much heed to it, grumps are never satisfied and they take things too seriously.
10349117
I think Celestia just knew Luna would want the money more.
Pretty much gonna be taking trillions in bits the two of them combined, practically leave a bankrupt nation before Twilight even takes over....
Luna: So you’re forcing me to step down as princess and retire?
Celestia: Yes.
Luna: ...
Celestia: ...
Luna: ...
Celestia: ...
Nightmare Moon: So you have chosen death.
Celestia throws money at the problem.
10349394
Like all good monarchs
this was fun, but I would like to see a story that dealt with Luna not wanting to retire and move to a retirement community (I'm still wtf-ing that btw) after only being back on the planet for... what? A year and a half?
I mean, part of why Luna went Nightmare has always been that Celestia ignored her sister's feelings, and the entire plan just feels like Celestia moving ahead with something she's been planning for years without ever considering that Luna might not want to retire.
10349455
I honestly have no complaints about their retiring. Twilight had been groomed for taking over for years. I just thought it would be a funny explanation for why Luna agreed to stepping down.
The real enemy in this story is capitalism
10349485
groomed to takeover? she was groomed for crisis management, to fight celestia battle and ancient foes, raised trained to fight nightmare moon, there was no grooming for ruling equestria, that one ep were they went on vacation and twilight had a melt down and couldn't even organize a party showed that
10348856
Luna retired because she didn't see a reason to continue with such a hard job like dreamwalking if her royal bank account was already full.
Every single portion of this is purely amazing and no matter which part I was on, I just catch myself smiling and enjoying this every single bit! Humorous, adorable, everything all in one nice bundle of words! Awesome work! Hope ya didn't mind, but I just had to make a reading on this!
Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/pplWzawTlLM
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
I never did get what Luna was even refuting from. She doesn’t do court. All she does is dream walk that’s it She doesn’t do anything. Celestia did all the hard work
10349455
How much time passed since Luna's return was never clearly established in the show, but I think it's safe to assume it's longer than a year and half. I would say closer to a few years, if not more. Honestly, by the end, I was starting to suspect that the show considered every completed season about a year's worth of events (so nine years in all, by that logic), but that's just an assumption on my part.
It's also worth considering that both Luna and Celestia were likely ruling Equestria for quite awhile even before Luna's banishment, and I highly doubt Luna considers her banishment as any sort of vacation, if she was even aware for its duration because for all we know, she was fighting Celestia one moment, and then the next, she was standing on that balcony at Ponyville's city hall (I mean, the show doesn't really give us anything to assume that wasn't the case, so...). So perhaps from her perspective, she never got a break at all from ruling per se. So it's possible that Luna was feeling a little done with ruling and ready to retire too, assuming these assumptions are all accurate.
But I still agree, the show could've done a HECK of a better job addressing this problem instead of just...sweeping it under the rug and hoping nobody noticed.
10349916
On the time thing. We're told one year had passes between the first episode and Twilight ascension. So it's waaay less than 9
10349928
When were we ever told that? I don't recall that ever being established in any of the FiM media.
Besides, we've had multiple winters come and go during that space of time, so it's definitely been a few years at the very least--absolutely more than one.
Further, in "The Cutie Re-Mark," when Twilight was visiting the Nightmare Moon timeline, NMM clearly states that she had kept Celestia banished for "years" plural since her return, long enough for her to consider this to be very old news.
So no, I don't buy that--there's too much evidence suggesting to the contrary, probably more than I'm listing off the top of my head, even.
10349965
In the first episode following Twilights ascension. When they're all discussing the summer sun festival they talk about how the last one was the first time they met Twilight and when she moved to Ponyville
10349965
The very first episode of season four mentions that they're preparing for another Summer Sun Celebration, one of which Twilight was sent to oversee the preparation of in the series premiere two parter.
Since the summer sun celebration is to celebrate the longest day of the year, it implies that a year has passed in universe.
Luna decided she didn't want celestia's job the day starlight glimmer switched their cutie marks and she had to politic.
I was totally expecting there to be a quip there about Luna asking about her moon landing.
Celestia then apologies, and says that her hooves were tied, and it's for the best if you just leave peacefully. The guards will escort you out, and will send your belongings to your residential address. There's a castle in the Everfree, I think that's what's written down? Should we update that to the moon?
Luna than responds, "No, you are mistaken. You see, if I am to leave, I will go out with a moon landing. Look out your window. The moon is landing right now!"
10349987 10349988
They say a Summer Sun Celebration is coming up, but in reviewing the episode's dialogue, nowhere does it explicitly suggest this is the first Summer Sun Celebration that's come up since the premiere, nor that it's only been a year since. I cannot find any comments from the show's staff stating as such either.
Besides, during the three seasons previous, unless they were meant to be taken out of chronological order (which there's not really any reason to assume as such, seeing most every episode is generally pretty good at acknowledging it takes place after a prior one, nor was there a precedent established for this possibly being the case for episodes both before and after this point in the show), we're shown two separate winters (Winter Wrap-up and Hearth's Warming Eve). That would suggest two years worth of time at the very least...unless Equestria for some reason has more than one winter to a year, but we have no evidence to suggest that.
I'll grant at the time the S4 premiere aired, that was still a possible assumption to make, BUT looking at the show on a whole since that point, I don't think it is anymore, as the show clearly doesn't stop to cover every holiday as it happens in every year that passes in show time (which we can be sure of, because the show showed more instances of Hearth's Warming than it did Nightmare Night, both yearly events). So just because other Summer Sun Celebrations weren't mentioned to have taken place during that stretch of time doesn't mean there weren't any--just that nothing worth covering in an episode happened in them, so I still question whether that's a valid assumption to be making anymore.
In any case, in counting just winters shown in the show alone, it's reasonable to assume at least seven years passes from the show's start to it's end, meaning the show altogether covered at least that much time before ending, so Luna had definitely been ruling Equestria since her return for much longer than a year and half, which was my original point anyway.
10349772
No way! I'll definitely give it a view when it goes up.
10350106
True. But that still doesn't prove seasons 1 thru 3 only cover one year's worth of time, and I still highly doubt that's the case, for all of the same reasons as I already listed before.
10350116
Yes yes. I saw the rest of it after posting that, hence why I deleted my last post, it's hard to gather resources when you're on your phone, in the bathroom at 4 am because your stomach hates you and all that.
anyway, revisiting the transcript, Celestia says this at the very end of the second part.
Consider that Luna returned on the day of Summer Sun, why would Celestia make such a declaration like that unless it was the subsequent year?
It could be argued that she could be making a copy paste speech to every city that hosts the celebration afterwards, but I dunno, seems like the sort of thing she'd say at the first celebration after Luna's return.
As for the rest of your point, recall during the interseason shorts that Fluttershy had apparently won Teacher of the month 16 months straight, so between seasons 8 and 9 there was at least a year and a third that passed.
10350124
Honestly, the whole time span the whole nine seasons covers is probably even longer than the seven years worth of winters that I quickly counted, if we take the time to account for any and all clues towards the time passage throughout the series, but if anything, that only further proves the point that a good number of years had definitely passed from the show's start to its end. At least seven, but could easily be more.
And yet the CMC were still no taller than they were starting out (excepting The Last Problem, of course).
10350137
I dunno feels more like a lot of season don't take up a whole year. The time that passes in universe between seasons is less than consistent. Sometimes a long time other points only a tew months
10350217
*Shrugs* The evidence suggests otherwise, so what else can I say?
In the end I suppose it doesn't matter all that much, so long as we agree that Luna still got at least four or five years of ruling her under belt after her return--I think that's a nice reasonable number to compromise on.
10350228
Well it's a given part of fiction. Most of life is mundane, and fiction skips over mundane moments. So unless it's specifically stated how much time has passed we have to guess based on annual events. At least 6 years have passed in the setting due to Hearth's Warming,. 5 Episode 1 Comic Special. Bit still some seasons feel like they are stretched over more than a year and others a few months. With animated shows it's best not to see one year in real time as one year in show time. Makes it easier to accept seeming "unexplained time jumps".
10349117
Sounds like a decent amount of moon-bias, to me. In this story, clearly Luna just wanted the money and an easy life. Anything else is your own story that has nothing to do with this one.
10350463
Well...that really depends on the show. FiM is awkward in the sense that it's not quite timeless, but there is still a sense of forward progression of time, events, and life, even if it's not always immediately obvious. Further, it's an anthology sort of show, so events are not necessarily happening back-to-back in terms of sequence unless explicitly stated to be. Days, weeks, perhaps even months could be passing between episodes, but we'd never know it because the show chooses not to enlighten us...yet at the same time, there is sort of an implied expectation that we'll surmise that anyway, in most cases.
Considering how...eventful...things could get in one season though, I sort of doubt all of that could reasonably take place in the sort of short stretches of time you're talking about--that'd be just a little too hectic. So I like to think there was stretches of time between them in which it was just life like normal.
True, I can't quantify how much time that'd equate to in every instance simply because the information to do so just isn't there...but I think it's a safe assumption there's a noteworthy enough amount of it there that probably would fill in the blanks. But that's my view on it. Much like how it's your view to think the opposite, I suppose.
I still say seasons 1-3 covered at least two years, minimum. I'll give season 3 a little slack seeing it was such a short season, but in my head, it couldn't be a much shorter space of time--it just doesn't seem logical to me.
...Buuuuut in the end whether it was or not doesn't matter in the context of this particular fic, so...
Strait to the favorites folder
BAHAHAHAHAAAA
10349485
Seems like the people who read the story and went to the comments are such big Luna fans, some of them get miffed at you even wanting to make a joke about it and not being as dissatisfied as they are.
And then Luna used her 1000-year interest-boosted fortune to buy the last can of anchovies for all her friends to share on a pizza.
This was an enjoyable read.
Family, politics, pride, these lead to grievous injuries to the heart, but they say time heals all wounds.
And then there's money...💰
Luna walks in.
"Do you like mmmmbananas?"
Well, if Luna wanted to stay a princess she could say that as a co-ruler, for Celestia to make a new law she need her signature, and as she was undisposed because of Celestia, her signature was not there also as co-ruler is only when both of them decide something that it can happen.