• Member Since 11th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Aquaman


The campiest of happers.

T

A few weeks before her college graduation, Sunset Shimmer attends Twilight Sparkle's funeral. She'd rather be anywhere else but here. She'd rather think about anything but what role she played—or didn't play—in her girlfriend's premature death.

We don't always get what we want, though. After the last several months, Sunset knows that better than anyone.

Winner of Oroboro's "Sunset Shipping Contest: Endings." Rated T for language, not-exclusively-adult themes, and brief tobacco use.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 25 )

So which Twilight did you murder for no bucking good reason other than because you could? This doesn't scream Princess Twilight. More like Sci Twi since it's human.

Or am I missing something?

Holy... Damn. Have a fav. the frank approves.

Wow.
This is dark and haunting and I am engrossed.
As I was reading I couldn't remember if the summary suggested that Sunset felt responsible, but there's certainly something.
The way you write all of the girls is so... comforting, I suppose. Especially Rarity and her coping, all these little details paint such a picture.
But man this was hard to read at times, it was chilling especially when Sunset was envisioning punching Twilight's father, there were some twisted emotions here and it made the whole thing feel so real.
And those little jokes in the beginning? The texts to Twilight? A very nice touch.

This chapter was pretty intense, and not quite what I imagined. I expected some anger, and something in the privacy between Sunset and Twilight, but this went beyond what I expected, and honestly made for some good reading because I never quite knew what was going to happen next. It all feels very real, and that shows all through this story.
The incident with her mom probably stuck out the most, this almost surreal quality, how casually she asks about Twilight's glasses before breaking down. Grief isn't easy, and I like how it's portrayed here in all its different ways.

PS- Meant to write this sooner but the finale kinda killed me... and yet reading about this tragedy was somewhat fitting.

I don't know why I put off reading your stories. They're always so well put together and engrossing.

Goddamn, dude.

Not coddling someone through a time of grief to allow them their own chance to carry themselves is sometimes a hard lesson to learn and follow through on. People do need each other in those hard times, but everyone handles grief differently, and sometimes that means standing just inside the edge of arm's length—there if they need you, but not getting in their way.

This was good. A very down-to-earth portrayal of grief and what comes with it.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Jeezus, man, that level of emotional intensity should be illegal. D:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

“How do I get over this?”

“We don’t,” he replies. Over his shoulder, the sun has nearly set. “We live through it.”

Everyone needs to read this.

This was such a gripping read. I expected to just get through the first chapter tonight, but I just couldn’t stop reading.

Really nice work here!

I read this back when I read the first two chapters and forgot to leave a comment... re-reading it just now and I forgot what nice introspection it is, and again reminded how realistic this all feels without stumbling into melodrama.
In a way these two could be any two characters in almost any world, but it still works here, and getting to read this moment of openness between them was nice. Almost comforting.
Painful, depressing, but nicely done.

Emotionally devastating and all too real, but it ends up positive in the end, or at least on an upward turn. Sunset's voice and grief are great throughout all of this, and while I've never lost anyone in this way, it still reminded me of some of what I've gone through. A+ job.

I wish there were words to describe how utterly desolate this made me feel. The portrayal of depression is so real and heart breaking I almost have to wonder if this fic is entirely fictional

The way you described Twilight getting better, only for little small things to build up and push her over the edge is so... horribly real.

The description of Sunset’s curiosity about Twilights head going numb like her finger was something that hit me so, so incredibly hard I had to take a few moments to compose myself before I carried on reading

This piece is so... beautifully written. As heart breaking as the concept alone is, the way you wrote this without falling into dramatic cliché’s about grief and dealing with loss is something I can’t find words to express how grateful I am for it.

This was amazing and horrible and I’m sure I won’t be able to stop thinking about this story for a while. Thank you.

9969117

The portrayal of depression is so real and heart breaking I almost have to wonder if this fic is entirely fictional

Probably gonna blog about this in a bit more detail soon, but long story short: parts of this fic are unfortunately far from fictional. Most of what Sunset describes of Twilight's journal, as well as a couple other things later on, are taken pretty much wholesale from my own experience with severe depression and a very close call with suicide. To a large extent, this story is current me reminding future me of what past me almost did and how bad it would've been to do it.

9971311

I’ll be honest, as someone who has also struggled with depression and had close calls with suicide myself, reading this really brought up a lot of bad thoughts I had pushed back to the back of my mind. In a way it was almost cathartic, but I had to take a few hours to collect myself before I could talk to my girlfriend (who sent this fic to me) and tell her how I was feeling.

Just reading how you wrote Twilight’s struggles stuck out to me, because I know that there had to be some truth to the words. There just isn’t a way to describe those kinds of thoughts and feelings unless you’d been there yourself. It was startling, honestly.

I’m not really sure why I’m waffling on at this point, but I guess I just wanted to thank you for replying at all, and thank you for expressing such painful thoughts in a way I, personally, never could.

Your writing as a whole is just breath taking, never mind the allegories and depth behind it.

9971506
To be honest, I wasn’t sure I could express those thoughts either as I was writing this, but I’m glad I got it out, and I’m really glad it resonated with someone who had some of the same struggles I did. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Phew, the weight of this story. The absolute dense mass of heart ache, compressed into a mere three chapters of agony, anger and helplessness is monumental.

And yet, that feeling of Sunset cresting the event horizon, of Shining being there just next to her was exquisite.

Stomach feels like I've swallowed a lump of lead and yet it feels good, well done dude.

What the fuck, this is brilliant. I’m honor bound to destroy you now for beating my entry with it.

En garde fish

I’m glad I came across this. Reminded me a lot of my brother’s funeral, after his suicide. Not the big dramatic break down- just the conflicting emotions. It’s a ritual based around sadness and remembrance, and all those other feelings that came after he killed himself- anger, resentment, guilt, even relief that the battle was over- they just didn’t have a place in that framework. Grief is never tidy, but grieving a suicide has its own particular messiness. It’s been years, but it’s still nice to read something that reminds me the messiness wasn’t wrong, it was just what happens when you’re the one left to keep going.

9971311

To a large extent, this story is current me reminding future me of what past me almost did and how bad it would've been to do it.

Thank you.

Once I’m done typing, I thumb the sleep button on my phone and drop it back into my purse. It’s not my best line of the morning—so far, the frontrunner is “I wonder if his dress has pockets,” in reference to the reverend’s vestments—but it’s punny in exactly the way I know Twilight would’ve laughed at. She’d probably have just blushed at the priestly dress line. That’s how I know that one was especially good.

Knowing twilight, she probably would. :ajsmug:

Rarity’s lips purse again. “Not particularly, no,” she says. “I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you.”

Losing someone you care about is always hard, I'm actually gonna be attending a funeral myself this coming week for my who sadly passed away around thanksgiving 2021. And I'm still not over it, especially since I was with him his last moments before you pass. And I feel the same as you do sunset. Heartbroken that you've lost someone you love. And it'll always hurt. :fluttercry:

“We really do mean that, Sunset,” her mom adds. She reaches out and mirrors her husband’s gesture, placing her hand against my other shoulder. I’m pinched between the two of them now. I paint on a smile and try not to squirm. “Twilight was blessed with so many wonderful friends, but you… you were special. You meant so much to her, and I know… even with everything she went through, I know she was truly happy when she was with you. You were so good to her, and to all of us, and I just… if there’s anything you ever need, anything at all, please, you let us know. All right, honey?”

She's right, sunset really was close to her, not to mention her best friend and love. :fluttershysad:

“I just hope you don’t think this is at all your fault. What Twilight… what happened, it… it wasn’t anybody’s fault. It wasn’t her fault. It was a sickness she had, and we all… we did the best we could.”

That's exactly what my family went through prior to my grandfathers passing back in November and my grandmother's passing 19 months prior right as the pandemic started. We did what we could but it was just too much for the. :applecry:

“And I hope you find peace too. I mean that. I think we all will, in time. It’s just… it’s good to see you, that’s all. It’s nice to be reminded of the good times.”

Yeah, even when we're going through hard times. 😔

By now, most attendees to the service have left to find their seats in the chapel, leaving only a few still milling around with me. Rainbow Dash only got about halfway to the casket before she froze in place and had to be led out of the room by Pinkie Pie and Applejack, muttering and swearing and sobbing the whole way. Pinkie stayed outside with Dash, but Applejack’s since come back to lean against the wall between the two exits, arms folded and face set into a stony blank stare. She seems to be waiting for someone else to need her. She hasn’t approached the back of the room either.

It's ok dash, not your the only one who feels that. :fluttershysad:

In the corner of my eye, I can see Rarity glance over at me every now and then. I think she wants to be my Applejack: someone I’ll cling onto and cry into until we both feel like we’ve done something productive today. That may be fine for Rainbow Dash—she’s always been the waterworks type, even when her pet turtle started hibernating back in high school—but as it turns out, I’m not much of a crier when it comes to someone dying. If it hasn’t happened yet this week, I doubt I’m gonna have much for Rarity to soak up anytime today.

I'm quite the person with the waterworks and most times I try to hide it. 😢

Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack are all focused on the baby; her stuttering giggles feel like gunshots in this silent, airless room. She never even met her aunt—not in any way she’ll remember. Someday, her dad will have to explain to her why. I wonder when he’ll tell her. I wonder how much of the truth she’ll hear from him, and how much she’ll find out accidentally from a careless relative or some ill-informed bully at school. I wonder if that’ll be how she learns what death is. I wonder if she’ll sleep the night after.

It'll sure be a tough day for sure as I felt the same when my dad told me how his brother died and trust me it was completely different from what I thought he told me years prior. :fluttercry:

Memories are flooding through me—campus police knocking on my door three weeks into our senior year of college, learning that the only person I’d ever truly loved had engaged in “suicidal ideation,” realizing with dawning horror that she’d never even told me she was depressed. All the times she told me she was tired, she was stressed, she was distracted and had a lot on her mind. All the times I believed her. All the times I trusted her.

That sure is quite emotional to learn. :raritycry:

“I burned it. Your diary. Took it to the woods, where we used to camp out back in high school. Watched it until the embers went dark… made sure it was ash . Your parents won’t know either. I’ll never tell them. I won’t do to them what you did to me.”

They sure aren't gonna like this when sunset tells me the truth. 😰

And I’m still alone.

No your not sunset, not anymore.

I spend the rest of the service in a fugue, numb and blind to everything but momentary flashes of sensation: a glimpse of Rarity’s nervous gaze, a snatch of the reverend’s sermon, Twilight’s weight on my shoulders as we carry her out to the hearse, the sun in my eyes as I watch her sink into the ground. All of them only stick out because they remind me of the past—of her chewing on her lip the first time I saw her naked. Of her diary smoldering in a gap between the pines. Of carrying her home on my back when she got too tired to walk. Of my phone dropping from my hand when I finally heard the news.

I know it's she sunset, but i know you'll get through it. :fluttershysad:

“We don’t,” he replies. Over his shoulder, the sun has nearly set. “We live through it.”

That's how it is whenever we lose someone, just be happy to know we got to know them when we could and how much we cared for them. :pinkiesmile:

“Second day of basic. First day’s lesson was ‘Don’t die.’”

How am I not surprised there. :ajsmug:

I reach out and pull myself up by Shining’s hand, and I’m about to follow him back inside the church when it occurs to me how aghast Twilight would’ve been at that joke. On instinct, I reach into my purse for my phone, but when my fingers brush against its plastic case, I stop again. She would have loved those kinds of lines—at least, she’d have hated them in the right kind of way. But Shining was right, and I was earlier too: Twilight’s just in our memories now, and good or bad or anywhere in between, I shouldn’t get lost inside them.

That's what I've been telling myself a lot whenever I miss or think about my grandparents who are both in a better place now. And I will never forget them. Neither will you for twilight sunset. 😇

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