• Member Since 17th Jan, 2017
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Just a massive MLP fan hoping to please you by writing decent fanfiction and reviews.


It's been weeks since Twilight had defeated both Midnight Sparkle and Gloriosa, the moment when I'd first started realizing my feelings for her. Now I've decided to finally ask her out. I'm sure it'll work out. Or not. Oh well, there's only one way to find out.

Note: in this universe Twilight and Timber never became a thing

An entry into Oroboro's Sunset Shipping Contest: Endings

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 19 )

:rainbowderp: You are brave posting this one chapter at a time when the contest ends in about five hours!

Updates will be very regular.

This looks good. Will follow.

I hope I can please you. :twilightsmile: (thanks for the fav btw)

Awe. But it wasn't the end of their love. It just... changed.

Actually, good idea. I hadn't thought about it that way.

By the way, how did you feel about the mostly sudden change?

I get it. Sometimes, you just don't feel anything anymore. Sunset went in with high hopes, she experienced, she loved, she fought, she relived, and now she's ended it all with a stable friendship. I'm happy for them. As a hard SciSet shipper though, I can't say I'm not sad. Though... it had to be done. Beautiful story all together.

Okay story. Each chapter show the slow decent to a failing relationship. Though the last two chapter felt rushed. Especially obvious if you look at the word count.

Thanks for the feedback, but I'm not sure you completely understood my intent with this story. Each chapter wasn't supposed to show them as a terrible couple. There was conflict, and I guess I had that to not make the conflict in ch 3 completely sudden, but also to show that all relationships have problems, but they can be worked through. The only reason they broke up was because they just didn't have feelings for each other anymore. It didn't have anything to do with the inevitable conflicts between them.

Though I do agree that ch.3 and (if to a lesser extent) ch.4 were rushed. I didn't really know how to expand upon the content much more than I already had, though, without it feeling too slow/melodramatic.

Author Interviewer

What's a "P.A. Day"?

A day off for the students for the teachers to catch up on stuff.

Author Interviewer

Okay. Guess I haven't been in school for two decades and it shows. :C

Think I started reading this way back when it was first posted, and decided to give it another go.
Cute idea, and I do love me some SciTwixSunset, but the writing here makes it hard to get through, as well as the flat characterization. These two feel like they could be anyone in a lot of the scenes, rather than two very distinct characters with a fascinating history. Could also use a good editor to cut away the extra padding.
But still, curious to see where this might lead! (which, considering the fic contest, is likely certain disaster)

That seems to be a problem with me. I try to make the characterization in my romances distinct, but I often find myself falling into romantic cliches without even really noticing it. I hope I at least got the extra awkwardness in SciTwi right? :unsuresweetie:

great but think they should of stayed together sense I enjoy the SciSet Ships alot

thx, and unfortunately it wasn't an option since the contest prompt had to have them break up.

Oh damn it I wish I knew that before I read it sense I love sciset stories

It is still a sciset story regardless, and it is a good reflection on life which is especially good since relatively few fanfics end in a relationship ending. I think it's important for stories like this to exist just as much as 100% positive ones.

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