• Member Since 2nd Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Undome Tinwe

Why shouldn't they adore me? Is it not within my right?


Rarity and Sunset say goodbye to each other as their marriage comes to an end.

This story is just one of the many stops on the Monorail! The event's theme is "trains". For a full list of content, click here! This is the 2nd stop, but be sure to check out the others! The previous stop was https://www.fimfiction.net/story/461401/friendship-on-the-infinity-train You're more than welcome to write your own addition, the only requirement is rail transport as a major plot element or location. Have fun!

An entry into the Depth in Innocence Contest.

(2020-08-10) Featured on Equestria Daily!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

I'm not crying. It's just dusty in here. :raritydespair:

This was great! There's an odd tragedy to the fact that Rarity and Sunset were incapable of reaching a big dramatic end to their marriage, since both of their lives were taking them elsewhere and they knew that. You did a great job showing how they could still be on friendly terms, while making clear their relationship wasn't working. Just from that one card, I also feel bad for Sunset's students, but it makes perfect sense that she wouldn't be satisfied just being a human school teacher. Right on the other side of the portal awaits a world where she can be important on a global scale. Rarity was also fantastically written. Plus, you had a well done bittersweet ending.

Argh my shipper senses are atingling even though my rationality says no.

Good stuff, Undome. Good stuff.

I want to tie this to your bio somehow -- certainly there's thematic connection -- but that still seems way more dramatic than what we have here, alas.

It does tie in, but in the inverse way. It's saying what their love isn't.

(For reference, the current short bio says "Porque el amor cuando no muere mata, porque amores que matan nunca mueren.")

I love how you used the theme of train to symbolize the movement from one stage of a story to another. A glimpse a larger tale, just it the right moment to see it change.

Kinda like life, things don't really end, they just become other things.

So why did they have a divorce then why is she going back to Equestria

Totally didn’t almost cry amongst fellow coworkers while on break in the lunch room.

Really enjoyed Rarity and her passion in this.

Very nice. :)

This made me feel... a lot of things.

Incredibly well-done. Not enough fiction covers more amicable divorces or even bothers showing that exes can still have positive and neutral relationships.

Reading every Depth in Innocence Contest entry: Story 8: But With a Whimper by Undome Twine

...This feels more like a Sunset Shipping Contest: Endings entry than a Depth in Innocence one. Not that that's a bad thing, I love me some Sunset, that's just the feeling I got from it.

Amicable divorces aren't something you see often depicted in stories, or at least I haven't seen many. (though I don't read much romance, so...) Like is stated in the fic itself, they rarely lend themselves to the catharsis you normally see in breakups, which makes would normally make for an unsatisfying ending. And in a way, this story... kinda is. There are a lot of things I found rather vague, and it feels more like an ending, a beginning, or an interim between some other unseen story. But I feel like that was kinda the point.

Not that that makes it bad. Far from it, in fact. Like a decent amount of these Depth in Innocence entries, it's a single moment in a unseen larger world, a slice of emotion. I like the back and forth, the discussion of past and future, and ending which is itself a new beginning. It left me wanting to know more, what happens next in Sunset and Rarity's lives. I like it.

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