Saros

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Desolation

Something glittered in the center of an ashen pile of dust. A brown hoof reached down and twisted its horseshoe, extending a metal blade. The dagger dug through the pale sediment, picking and poking at the powdery substance until the source of the reflective light was pulled to the surface.

Gently, an armored pony raised a dangling piece of jewelry up to her veiled face. Cold vapors billowed out from her mask. With nimble wing feathers, she reached forward and raised her goggles. Squinting scarlet pupils studied the shiny figures of an owl and a bat made out of pristine nickel. After a few seconds, the pony lowered her goggles. She reached back and opened a pouch along her thick leather saddlebag. Swiftly, she dropped the tiny figures into a pocket full of similar metal debris rattling within.

"Mmmmfff," she grunted into the frigid winds. "Can never have enough friggin' bullets..."

Swiveling around, the last pony trotted across a snowy field littered with craters of fallen moonrocks. She made her way across a gray wasteland, heading directly towards an anchored zeppelin that drifted in the snowy wind, and the endless gray desolation of Equestria billowing beyond.

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Saros

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by shortskirtsandexplosions

Special thanks to: RazgrizS57, theBrianJ, and Props

Comments

[Pashoo]

So many stories, so little time... Also, I'm going to edit my comments once I'm done reading, so that these are actually meaningful.

But I need to actually finish reading everything, first.

[AggroViking]

again with another story?

new story ahoy-hoy?

[Dragnovox]

STOP POSTING STORIES AND LET ME READ THEM DAMN

[Lordmiak]

And suddenly, 60k words.

[WardenPony]

Ahh, the one I've been waiting for. Now's when I decide whether to put whatever review thoughts I have on it in the comments, or as a blog post.

[Derpy Fan 4eva]

FUUUUUUU!!!
1195906 ditto!

[the-pieman]

1195906 YEAH!

[Csquared08]

This is an indirect prequel that takes place within the same universe as The End of Ponies.

OH MY SWEET BABY JEEBUS!!!

[Espresso]

L-Day, also known as the day before the day the Feature Box was entirely filled with SS&E.
Edit: Oh yes, I almost forgot to be really happy 'cause they're COMPLETE!

[The Libertarian Brony]

1195906 I second that motion! Slow down damn it!

[Garion]

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART SS&E

[Array]

HOW MANY FREAKIN FANFICTIONS ARE YOU UPLOADING???

[Misplaced Modifier]

So far, I think this is my favorite take on the history of the Sarosians, having this as a prequel to EoP just makes it all the better. Did you really have to have the last pony use them as bullets though, I mean that totally made me sad.

-Mintelle

[lura]

This was a beautiful story. The history between Myrk and Choral, the conflict between the sarosians and the imperialists, and how it ties in with EoP, it's all really well done. The ending was also brilliant, funny, yet also kind of sad. It's too bad the story will be lost among all the other stories your released that day, and wont get the attention it deserves,

Also there seems be a lot of jelly going around here, as this story has so many down votes, yet such few views. I doubt anyone who gave it a thumbs down even read the first paragraph.

[Ritashi]

Aauuuugh! Why must you so cruelly torture us with an End of Ponies reference, serving only to remind us of how long it's been since that was updated? Also, awesome story.

[Csquared08]

Wait... The Last Pony is gonna make them... bullets? WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL!? NOT COOL!

Anyhow, this was an absolutely fantastic story. Incredibly well done, sir

[Ezn]

This was beautiful, and my brain pretty much exploded at that last chapter. You're such a tease.

As much as I love Background Pony (and I do, though I've not said it much) I still eagerly anticipate the day you return to Last Pony and the Onyx Eclipse. Choo choo crash bang smash and all the rest.

Oh, and I guess you could say that Stellar merely adopted the dark but Myrk was born in it. =P

[RoboRed]

Well, I'm finally caught up to the massive L-Day post (save for Background Pony). I figured I'd save what I figured as best for last. And I wasn't disappointed. I already love the mythos you've set up with End of Ponies, and this story worked off of it perfectly. Lunar magic is absolutely fascinating.

Story was emotional all around, too. And I liteally laughed out loud when I saw things come full-circle at the last chapter. Although, that was a bit of a crotch-kick at the end. Still, wonderful job once again, SS&E.

[Oddend]

...And that's how you end a Pseudo Prequel...by making the single objects that signify the love of the main characters ending up as bullets for somepony that will never think twice about the love the metal she has represents...Pointlessness begetting a thought provoking result to something ending up as such pointlessness...I like it...

[Lordmiak]

Starting the reading now. I can't believe lemur day was only one week and a half ago.
This one story is the one that appeals to me the most. Always wanted something about Luna's time on the moon, how she bid her time and (possibly) a parrallel society on the moon !
Onwards ! i1.kym-cdn.com/profiles/icons/tiny/000/134/795/mlfw1031_mlp___luna_likes_it_by_santafer-d4dzwwr.png

[WardenPony]

And so it ends. Myrk is overpowered beyond belief, the guard are seemingly inept in too many ways, the entire chase was far too long to be believable, and the entire story itself leaves questions of inconsistency with the glance of Ponymonium we get in the Pinkie arc of EoP. Enough so, that I'm going to have to re-read listen to my audio of it in the near future while my memory of this is fresh so I can root out any problems that are actually there.

Critically evaluating the story/premise as a whole, I find myself with doubt as to the origin of the problem. In a lunar world, one would think the Sarosians would be the upper class, the few citizens that Luna would hold closer to her than the rest. Of course, it's hard to predict societal evolutions after a thousand years, but I imagine that the Sarosians would at least have started at the top of the social ladder in the wake of the civil war. That's my biggest problem with the premise, but I have one more: the timing. From EoP, I was under the impression (misguided?) that the lunar civilization died out/was destroyed much earlier than a decade from the events of the FiM opener. Is that what the ponies of Equestria thought, but were mistaken? What happens between the close of this story, and the end of all living lunar citizens? It just doesn't seem to match up with what I have hitherto thought.

On the technical side, there are numerous errors that a would take a thorough editing, or the efforts of numerous people pointing out the typos and homonym errors as they come up. I didn't notice many punctuation errors throughout because I wasn't really paying much attention to that, but I'm sure for the most part that was fine. Vimbert drilled the correct dialog punctuation into you long ago, so I can only hope it's still in your mind.

The length and complexity of the chase scene, which comprises most of the story, reminds me of Petra Kaizo edition. It's just too much, too fast to really seem plausible. Myrk should be dead. He is not some immutable Entropan mask, he is a living, fragile being. You cut him, burn him, break him, and yet he just keeps going. Even at the end, you have him find new strength to go on and survive the whole ordeal. He got a scimitar buried halfway into him! You don't survive that kind of thing! The moment the blade struck, I was expecting a tragic death; after all the beating he's gone through finally he will have to succumb to the reality of his injuries and die. Alas, not only does he survive the wounds, but at the end of it, when he has been burned alive by the sunlight and should be bleeding to death as his insides fall out of him he manages to kill the three guards as though they were street thugs and he were the Punisher. It just doesn't work that way. We don't know the details of his years as Captain of the Wraiths; we don't know how he's been able to utilize his skills in the past. Because we don't know, we impose logical restrictions on his strength and endurance that the content of this story ignores. Heck, the--presumably--second-best ponies, Rozencranz and Guildenstern Night Wraith companions whose names are not immediately memorable, are dead when the action begins. You'd expect that they would be in the same ballpark as Mryk in terms of "power" and yet they are taken in a trap that MUST by necessity be smaller in scope than the chase of the story. Myrk is just too much to be believed. I'll leave it at that.

And even with all that, I believe the story could still work. Though, I believe in its present state it really is below the standard you (and I when I do edit a piece) have set. Of course, not every story can be as good as your best, but to really tie it into the EoP universe as tightly as possible, I think the story would need considerable work.

As always, just one poor excuse for a writer, but a decent editor nonetheless' opinion,
-Warden

[Emberspeak]

1264304
I have to agree with you on many of those points, especially with the links to EoP. I'm pretty certain all the lunar ponies had died long before the moon exploded.

On the other hand, I enjoyed the story a lot and that last chapter made me laugh - Harmony's attitude towards the necklace pieces is a kick-in-the-guts when it comes to sentimentality :P

[theworstwriter]

And I finally, finally, FINALLY get around to finishing this. I liked it, but not as much as I could have.

The action was entertaining enough if action is what you're looking for, but it didn't feel balanced properly. There were a few bits of emotional investment that might actually have been enough to get people really caring, but the way they were spread out didn't let it sink in well enough. If someone reading this isn't in too much of a mood for action, this won't engage them or put them in that mood. They won't feel compelled to turn the page to get to yet more action, because it doesn't have the emotional weight to back it up. Action for action's sake isn't wrong, but I doubt it's what you wanted this to be.

But then, the ending. MAN you're good at that stuff.

This was good. Maybe great. But you're capable of more. EoP (and BP [and maybe Tartarus{Nesting parantheticals by switching up the symbols? Madness!}]) prove that.

[Future Regret]

Chase was a little lengthy, and a bit unnecessary because it didn't reveal anything, but it also really tricked me into thinking he had the energy. Good ending, but I have a love hate relationship with the last chapter. Still, its one of, if not the best, SSE romances in my opinion.

[Tea Leaves]

I really, honestly, enjoyed that. Though it's not that big of a surprise, given how big of a sucker I am for action scenes and how much I enjoyed EoP.

The only complaints I can think of would only echo what folks here have already said, but I dont think they really hurt the story at all. I love how the necklaces are found together, meaning the two either met up again or Choral found Mryk's corpse at some point. I think somewhere it was implied that it would be another ten years before the beacon even does any immediate good, so there's still plenty of time for the civilization to starve to death as a whole. If they dont, then Im going to assume they were left behind when Luna returned to earth and were wiped out in the Cataclysm along with everyone on earth.

[Yami Vizzini]

...Daaaaaaaaaaaamn.

[Revan]

So many comments have already been made. I can only nod in respect.

[AppleTank]

5186507
No, the 10 years statement was a flashback. The story is after that.

[AppleTank]

Welp, just finished Saros. I can see why you would call it an overly extended action sequence. It still was world building, so thanks for the ride. In the future, the Austraeoh will execute greater feats, anyways.

Now to figure out Ponymonium oh god why

[FOXTrot2]

Swiveling around, the last pony trotted across a snowy field littered with craters of fallen moonrocks. She made her way across a gray wasteland, heading directly towards an anchored zeppelin that drifted in the snowy wind, and the endless gray desolation of Equestria billowing beyond.

Well that sounds... Ominous.